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Chapter 14: A New Normal

SPOV

I woke up a sweaty, breathless mess. I'm sure I had a nightmare, but I don't know what it was about or what had frightened me to the point of waking up in a near panic. It was only my second night in the Northman household. My first night wasn't like the second, not even remotely. Pam and I actually had a mini slumber party in the room I was staying in, and it was nightmare free.

Eric certainly had a beautiful home that looked professionally decorated, or at least I thought so, I didn't ask because that would've been rude. Though thinking about it, it was probably presumptuous of me to assume that Eric couldn't decorate his home.

Anyway, it was beautiful regardless of who was responsible for its décor. The first floor had no bedrooms, though it did have a large office with French doors and another large room which was being used as a cinema room. The first floor kitchen and living space was a modern open floor plan, though he did have a separate formal dining area, which most likely didn't get much use. Eric's style was bold, with bright primary hues adorning the walls and accents. The upstairs held the Master bedroom, which I only saw for a quick moment because by that point in the tour, my legs were giving out on me and the cane was not steady on the plush carpeting.

The room Eric told me was mine was certainly big enough to be a master bedroom. It had a jack and jill bathroom which Pam and I shared. Both the bathroom and Pam's room was girly to the nth degree, while my bedroom was mostly neutral with a queen size bed which sat next to a large window with a banquette seating area. It looked like the perfect place to spend a lazy afternoon with my nose in a book.

I heard a soft knock on the door and my name being called with a whisper. "Sookie?" Eric whispered in a question. "Come in." I said, sitting up cross-legged. I pulled the sheet up to my chin because I was wearing a minimal cotton tank top.

Eric opened the door and stepped into my room, and I flicked on the lamp on the nightstand. "Everything okay?" he asked from the doorway. "I heard yelling." He said.

"Yeah, it's fine. I must've had a nightmare. Sorry, hope I didn't wake Pam." I said, embarrassed I was loud enough that he had to come check on me.

"Don't apologize." He said, giving me an understanding nod. "I'm gonna go check on Pam real quick. Do you wanna talk about it?" He asked.

Did I? I wasn't sure what there was to talk about, but I knew I couldn't go back to sleep, not yet anyway. I looked over at the alarm clock, 2:39 A.M. "Yeah, okay." I replied. He nodded his head and left to go check on Pam.

A few moments later he returned, this time he didn't bother knocking, which was fine since I had grabbed my robe and felt ready to receive company.

He sat on the banquette in front of the window. There was an odd moment where we just kind of stared at each other, not sure what to say. I wondered why I agreed to talk in the middle of the night, because it was a bit awkward. I was glad when Eric broke the ice by saying, "Pam had a nightmare her first night back." He looked down at his hands which were intertwined. "It scared me half to death, to be honest." I could understand that. He must've felt helpless. "I wanted to scoop her up in my arms and shoo all the monsters away."

"That must've been hard for you." I said softly. He huffed. "Honestly Sookie, sometimes, in the dark of night, when sleep is only an emulous wish, I worry that all of this is going to affect Pam… and you, in an irreparable way. It tears me up, but at the same time, it kills me that I even consider my own thoughts and feelings when I should be focusing a hundred percent on her." He admitted. It must be very difficult for him to admit to such feelings. He struck me as a proud man, not overtly emotional.

"Pam is such a resilient little girl. Brave and kind. In a lot of ways, she saved my life. I'm not sure that I would've had the will." I wanted to say that I knew she'd overcome the psychological scars, but I wasn't so sure. And besides that, it would diminish his feelings and I didn't want to do that.

Eric smiled sadly and said, "You saved her too." He said. I wanted to tell him, that I still felt a tremendous amount of guilt, but I didn't.

"Everything will be better in the morning." I said.

"If you need anything, don't hesitate to knock. I'm a light sleeper these days." He said and left.


The next morning, I woke up before everyone else, so I thought it'd be nice to make a proper breakfast. After all, if I was going to stay here until the bad guys were taken down, then I needed to pull my own weight. I didn't expect to be treated like a guest, and I refused to be waited on hand and foot.

I noticed that Eric had a nice looking loaf of bread. You can't go wrong with French toast and Gran taught me to make some fantastic French toast. I whipped up some egg batter, added some vanilla, cinnamon, cream and sugar. I found some bacon in the fridge, so I put some on a sheet tray and put it in the oven to cook.

My leg was starting to bother me, so I had to lean on the countertop. I was just about to place my first batch in the frying pan when Eric walked in looking worse for the wear. He was wearing a pair of flannel pajama pants and a plain grey t-shirt. I wondered, momentarily of course, if he normally wore the shirt, or if it was just for my benefit. I will admit that my mind wandered down into the gutter. He's a very handsome man; any woman in my place would think the same thing. Right, well that's how I justified it anyway.

I may have been staring at him a second or two longer than what was polite, before I quickly and awkwardly said, "I hope you don't mind. I raided your pantry." I would have to figure out a way to contribute to the grocery bills, and the other bills too for that matter. I didn't have a lot of extra money, especially since I wasn't working, but Stackhouses don't take handouts.

"Oh no, don't worry. Help yourself to anything you want." He said. My damn mind went to the gutter again, only for a second though, I swear. God, what was wrong with me. I had no business thinking of half-naked men, especially since Bill's betrayal was still so raw.

"I'll pay you for the groceries and rent." I said rather hastily. I turned away from him and put the first two pieces of toast in the skillet. I hated talking about money, it seemed like an impolite topic, but it was necessary.

"I won't accept it." He said leaning over my shoulder to smell the oven. Bacon. Men love bacon. Hell, everyone loves bacon. However good the bacon smelled, his nearness was disarming. "Eric, I can't stay here and not contribute, I just can't" I said trying to take my mind off the fact that he was standing so close to me, smelling the way he did, which was very manly with a slight hint of Old Spice.

"I'll tell you what." He said and mercifully moved to my periphery. "You keep making my house smell like this, and we'll call it even. Pam and I love French toast, by the way." I wanted to argue with him, but I just couldn't, not at that moment anyway. But that didn't mean I accepted what he said.

Eric went to set the table in the breakfast nook, not the formal dining area, while I finished cooking up the rest of the French toast. As I was bringing the food to the table, Pam came down the stairs rubbing her sleep filled eyes. "Morning Sweetie!" I proclaimed. My mood had taken on a sudden cheer and I sounded slightly deranged, even to my own ears. I blamed Eric.

"Morning momma Sookie." Pam replied. It was odd, sometimes she called me mommy, sometimes Sookie and every now and then, she just combined the two. It must be so confusing for her. Eric didn't seem to mind anymore, so I didn't correct her. Though it did make me think about how this would all affect her once everything went back to normal and I moved back home.

There wasn't a single part of me that could move on with my life and forget about her, but at the same time, Bon Temps is 45 minutes away from Shreveport. Would Eric let me see her on a schedule, like a real mother in a custody arrangement would? I put those thoughts aside for the time being. I'd cross that bridge when I got there.

"A little birdie told me that you like French toast." Her ears perked up immediately. "Yes! I do! Daddy and I usually go out to a restaurant and I get French toast and crayons." She jumped into the chair and Eric poured the syrup over the toast while I placed a glass of milk in front of her.

I wondered if Eric cooked. He had a stocked pantry, which would indicate that he did, but at the same time they did go out to eat quite a bit too. Was he a good cook? A handsome father who could cook… Jesus Sookie! I chided myself.

"We go to the Scrambled Egg on Saturdays. They have amazing French toast." He said then dug in to his generous helping. He made a Mmm noise, then said, "This tastes incredible Sookie. Way better than the Scrambled Egg. Huh Pammy?" It was so odd being in such a domestic situation. I loved it, of course, but I hadn't had that since Gran, Jason and I all lived in the old farmhouse some years ago.

I was the nurturing type, I always knew that, but living in the old farmhouse all alone, I didn't allow that part of me to flourish. But with Eric and Pam all together sitting around the breakfast table talking and laughing, like a normal happy family would, I felt a part of me come alive. And yet it felt bittersweet. This wasn't my life, not really. I'd have to give this up at some point, probably in the near future and when that day would come, it would be painful.

"So whatcha wanna do today?" Pam asked me. On our way to Eric's house that first night, we had stopped at my farmhouse, so that I could get some clothes and toiletries and such. It was a quick trip and I'd have to go back soon to get my car and clean out the fridge.

It was supposed to be pretty hot, and Eric had a really nice in ground pool in the backyard. Being a lover of the sun, my response was easy. "Let's go swimming." I said a little too excitedly. I hadn't been in a pool like his since I was in High School when Tara and I snuck into the pool at the YMCA over in Springlake. "Let's ask your daddy, if it's alright." I added. The last thing I wanted to do was overstep my boundaries where he was concerned.

Pam quickly scurried off into the office where Eric was holed up doing some paperwork for his bar. Eric was the owner of one of the most popular bars in Shreveport, though he was modest about its success. Even I knew how popular his bar was, and I lived out in BFE.

Pam came back just as quickly as she left announcing with enthusiasm that Eric said it was okay to go swimming as long as she wore her princess floaties, which I found out meant that she had to wear the inflatable arm floats.

We both scuttled off to our respective rooms, well, Pam a lot faster than me since I was slow and reliant on the cane to ease the pressure in my leg, but we went off to put on out bathing suits.

I had brought a suit with me, only because Eric told me he had a pool on the drive. In my haste to pack some clothes, I had the foresight to grab a swimsuit. The problem I had now, was that also in my haste to pack some clothes, I grabbed one of my skimpier suits. It wasn't obscene or anything, but it was a halter top red bikini that did little to hide my ample cleavage, add that to the fact that I still had some pretty mean looking bruises and scars, I was a bit hesitant. I agonized over my suit until Pam had finally lost patience with me and began knocking on the door. I just hoped that Eric stayed occupied in his office for a while, or at least until we were finished swimming.


EPOV

The unusual domestic scene at breakfast had me reeling, and I needed some alone time. Which worked out well because payroll needed to be done and everyone knows how awful Quickbooks is.

Having a woman around the house wasn't something I thought Pam and I were missing, however Sookie made me re-think that. Maybe it was just her. The easy way in which she floated around the kitchen even with a hurt leg, like she had been here all along, caused me to smile. She had a way about her that made everyone gravitate to her. I doubt she even realized just how captivating she was. No wonder Pam fell in love with her so quickly. She was warm and friendly, yet she had this humility that was rare for a woman her age.

I was glad that she felt at home enough to cook a meal, but at the same time, I didn't want her to feel obligated. I even tried to do the dishes after breakfast, but she flat out refused, going so far as to kick me out of my own kitchen. The nightmare from earlier didn't seem to be affecting her and for that I was thankful. She didn't deserve to be perpetually haunted by her own mind.

I just finished the last of the payroll and the quarterly taxes and was on my way to check on the girls, but the sight that befell me caused me to stop in my tracks. Sookie. Floating on a lounge in the middle of the pool wearing a tiny red bikini. Jesus, I had to check to make sure I was decent enough to walk out there in front of them. "Clancy in a thong, old Mrs. Patterson naked." I told myself over and over, imagining those things, so that the pop up tent in my pants went the hell away. That was fucking embarrassing.

Who the hell knew Sookie had a body like that? I'd only ever seen her in hospital scrubs and oversized sweats; so needless to say, I was breathless when I saw that she had these amazing curves that were in all the right places. The halter top of her bikini accentuated her plenteous breasts and flat stomach. The curve of her hips which led to her thick yet muscular thighs and legs had me damn near drooling.

I was so screwed.