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Chapter 18

SPOV

My hands were shaking. Was I really going to do it? Was I misreading the longing looks he had been giving me all night? And that very thoughtful gift. It meant I was part of his family, right? And not in the nanny sense either. I wanted him and he wanted me too. That kiss we shared, I felt something, it was amazing.

I believed that if I took that leap of faith, that it would pay off. I had to believe that. I stood outside his door. It was well past midnight and he may very well have been asleep, but I'd come this far, and i wasn't about to march back up those stairs.

I had put on the nightgown that made me feel the most sensual. It was just a simple white satin gown, nothing fancy or overtly sexy, but it made me feel that way.

I knocked gently and quietly cracked open the door, "Eric?" I asked softly.

"Everything alright Sookie?" His voice was full of worry. I took that as my opening to go into his room. It was dark, the only light came from a small crack in the curtains where the moonlight shone through. Eric quickly reached over and flipped the switch on his bedside lamp.

I'd never been in his room before. I mean, I had, but only as part of the grand tour. I'd never actually stepped foot in it for any purpose. He sat up in the bed, the sheet fell to his waist, he wasn't wearing a shirt. He was breathtaking. His hair all mussed up from sleep. He rubbed his eyes, looking at me with concern.

I was nervous as hell and my palms were sweating. I took a calming breath and said, "Yeah, yeah, everything's fine."

His bed was large, of course. He was a large man after all. It was some kind of a dark wood four poster bed with a deep blue bedspread. His walls were slate gray and he had some very interesting, but beautiful artwork adorning his walls.

"Did you need something?" He asked. I was just kind of standing at the foot of his bed, feeling completely flustered.

I swallowed audibly. Could I really ask him for what I really wanted, needed? My gown was long, so I hiked it up to my knees so that I could sit on his bed, completely ignoring the pain in my bad leg. He looked at me curiously, probably wondering what the hell I was doing.

I was far too shy to vocalize my needs, so I crawled up to him. My heart racing uncontrollably. I placed a hand on his bare chest; It was so warm. I ran my hand over the faint hairs. His eyes never leaving my own, but he just let me touch him.

I couldn't believe I was doing it, but I had to admit that it felt damn good. As my hands were exploring the wide expanse of his chest, I wanted more still. I leaned in and lightly placed my lips where my hands were. I placed butterfly kisses starting at his bellybutton and slowly worked my way up to his pecs. I was burning with desire for this man, but also very unsure of what to myself.

I wished I had some experience, because I was feeling like I was drowning. "Sookie." Eric whispered with desire.

He tilted my head and bent forward bringing his lips down to mine. It was our second kiss, unlike the previous, this time, I wasn't as unsure. He was gentle only until our tongues met. My body felt electric as he ran his very large hands down my neck and to my shoulders.

His lips moved against mine, stealing my breath in the best way possible. I gasped as we broke apart, but I didn't want that to be it. I wanted more, more than a kiss and a cuddle. More than the previous nights comforting embrace. So I sat on my heels and lifted the hem of my gown, pulling it over my head.

"God, Sookie. You're so beautiful." Eric said and sat forward a bit more. His hands immediately went to my breasts, gently cupping them. They fit perfectly, as if they were meant to be held only by him. His eyes met mine for a brief moment, as if silently asking permission. I let out a moan, which I suppose was a good enough yes for him. His lips and tongue felt incredible and when he bit my nipple just a little, my body began pulsating. Wetness pooled in my panties. God I wanted him badly.

Our lips met once again and I barely registered movement as he pulled me to lay underneath him. The sheet fell away from his body completely and it was only then that I noticed he wasn't wearing boxers. He wasn't wearing anything as a matter of fact.

"Are you sure?" He asked. God yes, I was so sure! I couldn't find words, though, so I simply nodded. I hoped that I didn't look as nervous as I felt. I'd always been told that the first time hurt and that you bled. Truthfully, I didn't know what to expect.

Eric began ravishing me with wet kisses until he reached the little white bow on the top of my panties. He quickly peeled them away, leaving me feeling a bit too exposed. I self-consciously began to worry that maybe I wasn't neat enough, or that I smelled okay.

Eric parted my thighs. Oh Lord, was he going to do what I thought he was going to do? No one had ever done that to me before. I worried, so I tried to resist, closing my thighs. I sat up on my elbows and said, "Eric, you don't have to do that."

He just grinned mischievously and parted my thighs once again. I must have seemed tense, because Eric whispered, "Relax, Sookie. I just want to make you feel good." I nodded and relaxed my thighs. I gasped as he ran his tongue through my nether lips. I had no idea what he was doing to me, but it felt so damn good. I began to lose control of my body and my toes curled causing them to cramp, but I couldn't have cared less about that. I just knew that I'd never felt that good in my life. I wondered, if he liked how I tasted.

Eric discreetly wiped his chin. Oddly, I found it such a turn on. I wanted to feel him inside me, needing him desperately or else I was certain that I would implode.

Somehow in my head I pictured him saying all kinds of dirty, kinky things to me, but that wasn't simply touched me in the most excruciatingly sensual of ways. I bet my lip in anticipation. I could feel his cock on my thigh, so curiously, I looked down. Holy mother, he was large! I began to pant. It was going to hurt, I just knew it.

"Are you okay?" He asked again. Was he kidding! I was dying! "Mmm Hmm." I said, still biting my lip.

He reached across me and fished out a foil packet from his bedside table. It was a bit awkward, but also very much a turn on to watch him roll it on. His kissed me hard. I could taste myself on him. I was kind of icked out by it at first, but then decided it was kind of hot.

Eric had no idea I was a virgin, and I didn't want to say anything. Mainly because I was kind of embarrassed, but also because I didn't want to spoil the mood. However, I was very nervous that it'd hurt. I was surprised, however, that when he entered me, it didn't hurt. A touch uncomfortable because of his size, but not painful.

"Eric!" I moaned. My body was having an involuntary response to his, and his name just fell from my lips, over and again. He moved inside me, slowly at first, but increasing in pace along with our pleasure. "Shh, Sookie." He hushed, and then kissed my neck, then lips. Oh, right, Pam.

I was panting, and that heated, uncontrollable feeling returned, like when he went down on me. I trembled. He threw his head back and shivered. "Fuck." He drawled out the word closing his eyes.

I wasn't sure what my body had just experienced, but I wanted to feel that way everyday, ten times a day, even. Was that what an orgasm felt like? Dear lord!

Eric placed a tender kiss on my forehead, then got off the bed. He went into the bathroom to clean up, I guessed. The bed was wet beneath me. Did I wet myself? Oh God, that was embarrassing! I felt mortified and I wanted to tear the sheets off the bed, but Eric sauntered back into the room wearing a lazy, satisfied smile, and naked as a jaybird. His long, lean body made me forget all about my mortification, momentarily anyway. I couldn't take my eyes off him, he was magnificent.

Then I remembered the blood. Oh, Lord! I scooched away from the wet spot, but I didn't see blood. Eric must've caught on to my embarrassment. "There's nothing to be embarrassed about." He tucked my hair behind my ear and kissed my cheek. My cheeks heated knowing that I was caught. There was just so much about sex that I really didn't know. It was sad, actually.

Eric laid on his back and held out his arm in invitation. "C'mere." he said. Wet spot be damned, I cuddled into the crook of his arm, taking in his scent. Musky, from our recent activities. His deodorant was intoxicating, in a weird way. He was all man, and I could swear I was having a chemical reaction to him.

"Not that I'm complaining or anything, but what made you come down here?" He asked, still running his fingers through my hair. I was entranced by him and I laughed nervously. "I don't really know." I said, unable to express my thoughts very well. I came down here because I wanted him, because I felt a magnetic pull to him, because my body thrummed with excitement thinking about his large hands clasping my necklace around me. Mainly, though, because I was simply tired of denying my feelings for him.

He fingered the circle pendant and said, "I'm so fucking glad you did." He bent to kiss my collar bone. "You're shaking."

"Cold." I said. He pulled the comforter over me and pulled me a bit closer to his body, not that there was much room between us as it was.

He seemed thoughtful, like maybe he was trying to assemble his thoughts, then he spoke. "Sookie." He paused to turn and face me more directly. The look in his eyes was intense, emotional. He seemed to be gearing up for "the talk". "This isn't how I pictured this happening, but I wouldn't take it back for anyfuckingthing." I smiled.

"You are something else." He kissed my neck, but remained speechless. "Beautiful" Kissed my jaw. "This feels so fucking right, Sookie." He looked me directly in the eye. The storm of emotions in his eyes, made me feel breathless. "Tell me you feel it too." He asked, or was it a command? His presence was intoxicating, plus I'd never ever dreamed that he would be saying those things to me. I mean I had dreamt it, but never thought it would be a reality.

I must've taken too long to respond. I certainly hadn't meant to make him feel like his feelings were unreciprocated. He began to pull away. I panicked, and reached out to him. "I do! I feel it too." He relaxed back into me. Thank God.

"What is this between us?" I mused aloud. It wasn't like I needed a label, I guess I just wanted to be clear.

"Can I be honest?" he asked.

"Always."

"It's not love, exactly, but it's something like it. I guess as close as it gets for two people like us." I agreed with his assessment. I'm not sure I even knew what love was, but I knew I wanted to feel the way Eric made me feel every single day for the rest of my life.

His hands were exploring again, and I felt that familiar ache. Lord! I was becoming addicted to him! I reached down to do a little bit of exploration myself and found Eric already hard again.

I stroked him, unsure if I was doing it correctly. I guessed I was because his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he moaned my name. That was an empowering feeling. I moved to straddle his thighs, forgetting the pain in my leg. Feeling sexy and empowered, I reached over him into the drawer where I noticed he plucked out the condom. Bingo. I rolled it on him, like he'd done earlier. I had fantasized about being on top of a gorgeous man. In my dreams, it was always my celeb crush, but having Eric was way better than any fantasy I could ever dream up.

Eric helped guide me, and when my movements began to get a little hurried, he held my hips and led me to a slower pace. I was beginning to recognize my body's reactions and knew I was having an orgasm. I wasn't sure what it felt like when Eric came, but his moaning clued me in that maybe he had.

Later, we lie entangled with each other. It was late, er, early? I didn't want to sleep though. I wanted to burn that night into my memory. I felt beautiful and wanted and I wouldn't change my first time for anything. Odd as it may sound, I was actually thankful that I had held out for Eric. I heard Eric's slight snore, and smiled. I turned the lamp off and fell asleep to the soothing sounds of Eric's even breathing, the scent of our joining, and the overwhelming feeling of pure happiness.