Chapter Nine – Goodbye For Now

Darren's Point of View

11:27pm

Thump thump, thump thump, thump thump…

I fluttered open my eyes groggily, waking to the sound of Bumblebee's heart beating under my ear, steady and slow. Looking around, I noticed it's still dark in the family room. It was silent. No one was up, so I figured it was only late in the night.

I pressed my cheek into his warm chest, shutting my eyes again as I sunk into the couch cushion. Bumblebee moved an arm around my middle, tickling my side with his fingers. I shut my eyes tighter.I love him so much.

I wanna wake up each morning,
With you for the rest of my life.
I wanna feel your heart beating,
And just get lost in your eyes…

He and I are sleeping together on the couch, me in his arms. I didn't dare go upstairs to my room after what happened, but I really wanted to see my father. Maybe I could go check on him a later. My parents don't sleep together anyways…

More tears trickle onto my cheeks and I buried my head deeper into Bumblebee's chest, feeling his hand slip across my side and take mine tenderly. What had happened earlier still had my mind in a total wreck. My mother had never hit me before. I start to cry whenever that scene replays in my mind, over and over and over again. The bruise on my cheek still stings and throbs like it had just happened.

You can tell me your secrets,
You can let me feel your pain…

I can't get that picture out of my head…My mom whipping her hand against my face, screaming at me in words that make me shudder. I clenched Bumblebee's hand. I trembled, starting to cry for the millionth time. Tears pour down my cheeks and I pressed my ear into Bumblebee's chest, shutting my eyes even tighter. God, I don't want him to leave me. Ever. I'll fall apart without him by my side every day. Imagining life without him is like having a nightmare.

Bumblebee's fingers graze up and down my leg. I prop my chin on his chest and look up at him. He's still sleeping, but I put my hand on his side and shake him anyways.

"B-Bee," my voice quivers. I shake him harder. His image became distorted as my vision blurred with tears. I blinked them away with a whimper. "B-Bumblebee, wake up."

He stirred slowly, then opened his eyes to look down at me.

"What is it?" He murmured, squeezing my hand.

"Can we talk?"

He blinks, then nods slowly.

You can show me your weakness,
And never be ashamed…

"What's wrong?" He whispers. I snuggled deeper under his arms and lay my ear back on his chest before starting. I closed my eyes. He patted my side.

"Bumblebee, I don't want to live here anymore. Please. Don't make me," I begged.

He furrows his brow at me.

"Darren, I c-can't…I can't steal you. It would make the matters worse…"

My chin starts to quiver and I shoot my eyes up at him. My ears must be deceiving me.

"Bumblebee," I choke out. I thrusted my head into his chest, sobbing uncontrollably. How could he make me stay here after what he just saw?! He knew how much this hurt me! "You know my mom'll hurt me!" I squinted my eyes and made a hoarse cry, tears falling like waterfalls. "How could you!?"

Bumblebee's hands lifted away from my body. I felt his eyes on me, watching me in my terrible fit of sobs.

"…Keeping you wouldn't be right, Darren."

I nearly died. How could he say that?! WAS HE BLIND?!

"So, you want me to s-stay here. Stay here with all the abuse, huh?"

"N-No, Darren, I-I never…"

"I might as well just die here, too."

He tensed. "Don't you ever say that…"

I bit my lip. "You saw what happened, Bumblebee."

"And it can be fixed…You need to get your mother to sit down and talk with you."

"Damnit, Bumblebee, you know she won't."

"She will. Just go slow…"

His arms moved around my middle and squeezed me. His hand stroked the back of my head, his thumb tussling my hair. I melted into his arms and moved my own around his stomach. He held me like he was my own father. I couldn't believe this was our last night…for the week.

Hold on to me when your world's turnin' cold,
When it feels like your life's spinnin' out of control.
You're hopin', prayin', tryin' so hard to believe.
Hold on to me when there's no middle ground,
And every emotion is comin' unwound.

"I'll be keeping in contact with you, Darren. Frequently." His voice was calm.

A sob got strangled in my throat. "How frequent…?"

"Weekly…" His eyes started into mine, their color a penetrating blue. "If I find your condition worse than before…I'll be taking take you to the base."

I shut my eyes and looked away from him. Just thinking about staring here, in this living hell of a home, made me shiver like I was in an ice cavern. I doubted that when Bumblebee came to visit me one week, I'd be alive.

And every emotion is comin' unwound,
And you don't know if you can hold on to your dreams.
Baby you can hold on to me…

"Why can't you just take me now?" I breathed shakily. "Why can't you just take me…?"

He didn't respond, but wrapped his arms around my shoulders, drawing me against his chest. I felt his warm breath hit my ear as he leaned down and laid his cheek against my unbruised one, rocking me slowly. I sniffled.

"I'll be back before you know it, Darren."

"I know…" I murmured.

I shut my eyes tighter. I don't want him to, "be back." I wanted him to stay forever.

I wanna lay down each evenin',
With you right here by my side.
I wanna get drunk on your laughter,
And wipe all the tears when you cry.
You can scare me with your darkness,
You can blind me with your light.
Throw your worries out the window baby,
On your wildest night…

"Okay?" He whispers in my ear. His lips press against my cheek and I open my eyes to look at him. "If there's any trouble, you know where to find me."'

I nodded slowly, then leaned up to kiss his jaw.

"I'll miss you, Bumblebee."

Hold on to me when your world's turnin' cold,
When it feels like your life's spinnin' out of control.
You're hopin', prayin', tryin' so hard to believe,
Hold on to me when there's no middle ground.
And every emotion is comin' unwound,
And you don't know if you can hold on to your dreams.
Baby you can hold on to me…

"I'll miss you, too, Darren..."

"D-Don't forget me."

"Oh, I never could." His lips returned again, this time against my eyelid. "I never could."

Hold on to me when there's no middle ground,
And every emotion is comin' unwound.
And you don't know if you can hold on to your dreams,
Baby you can hold on I said.
Baby you can hold on I said.
Baby you can hold on to me…

"I love you, Darren."