Tobias.

Tris and I have been ignoring each other for the past week or so. I don't want it to be like this but every time I look at her, I just flash back to what I saw. I shudder. I can't even think about it.

It isn't until today that we talk. I find a note on my desk. No creases, a light shade of pink and smells like lavender. I know it's from her just from looking at it.

Tobias,

Meet me at after work. I want to talk. You know where to find me.

-Tris

It's true. I know exactly where to find her. And I can't wait. I've been searching for the serum that will bring her memories back. It's almost upsetting that I'd be putting all of Tris's hard work in creating one to waste. The society has everyone believing that all serums were destroyed, which is why Tris had to make her own. But I know they aren't, in fact I know where they are hidden. I have connections and those connections are Zeke. His job is to redeem the old society. He isn't rebelling on society, we sort of already did that plus no one wants to go back to having factions. His job is, I'm assuming, to analyze everything that happened; like a historian. I'm not allowed to know much more. There's an entire group dedicated to it. That's why he travels around a lot. He goes to different cities and studies the abandoned buildings and remnants of society.

I know that Zeke knows where to find the serum. I just have to get him to give it to me. Since Zeke is already on another one of his missions in a city called Philadelphia, I can't ask him till he gets back which is probably in a few days. But it doesn't really matter. I have time. I hope.

After work, I go into Tris's office. She isn't there. I know where she is. I open the secret door and tip toe down the staircase. I see her looking frustrated at her lap top. I guess this is a good time to tell her.

"I know how to find your serum."

She nearly drops everything she is holding.

"Find it? There are none."

"That's what you were told. But you're wrong. They exist, just not many people know about it. Not many people are supposed to know about it."

I say this implying that she cannot tell anyone. I don't know why she would. I'm doing this for her benefit. Well mine too but she doesn't know that.

"What are you saying? That the serum I have spent years trying to create already exists?"

"Yes?"

"Great, so I practically dedicated my life to hours and hours of creating useless formulas and it was all for nothing."

"I wouldn't say that." I take a step back from her. She looks like she is about to burst.

She looks like she is controlling her anger by deep breathing. Her fists are clenched.

"It's okay. It's fine. Just tell me how to find this serum." She sounds strained.

I tell her everything I know.

"And that's all I have so far." I finish with a breath.

"Sounds like a plan." She grins at me, she sounds relieved and much happier than she was when I first came down.

Her face darkens.

"There was something else I wanted to talk to you about. It's about what you saw last week. Listen."

I shake my head. "Don't bother. Your personal life is none of my business and I won't tell."

She looks a grateful but she still seems concerned.

"I don't love him. I hardly even like him. It's a very casual thing. I'm not proud of what I'm doing at all. I swear I'm not really like that. I'm not a whore."

I chuckle. Why is she so insistent on me knowing this?

"I know you're not. It's okay, I'm not much better."

I don't know how she's going to interpret it. I haven't slept with anyone since I got here. It's a new record for me.

"I think we should do this more. Every time we come down here. Not just talk about the plan but have gossip, heart to heart sessions."

I smile.

"I think that's a great idea."

"I want to know more about her." She blurts out.

"Who?"

"You're girlfriend."

Oh no. If only she understood how awkward this was for me. I freeze up.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you that. That's way too personal and I'm basically a stranger. You don't have to tell me anything."

"No, it's okay. I want to."

Who knows, maybe telling her stuff might bring something back? But why does she want to know about old Tris? Why does she care?

"What do you want to know?"

"I don't know. Who was she?"

"My girlfriend."

She shoves me. "Don't be a wise ass."

"Okay, well I told you. My girlfriend. She was exciting, dangerous, sexy even though she'd never believe it when I told her, infuriating most of the time. Again, I was never really the best boyfriend to her."

"How did she die?"

"She was shot. She was the one who released the memory serum."

"Really? You're girlfriend was The Rebel?"

Little fact, Tris is sort of famous. She went down into history for doing what she did. And then dying. People admire her and look up to her. She's an inspiration. Everyone calls her "The Rebel" because no one knows her name. No one really cared, and I did my best to keep it private. It was selfish, but I wanted Tris Prior to be all mine. Even if she was gone.

"What was her name?"

"I'll tell you someday."

"Deal."

"So how long were you two together?" She asks.

"About eight months. This was five years ago. Two months were spent being her instructor for initiation. She transferred to Dauntless. So did I. We were both Abnegation before." I don't know why I'm telling her all of this. It's so strange for me. I'm telling Tris the story of how we became. It's inexplicable, the way I'm feeling. If anything, it's only making me more perplexed.

She looks at me with what's almost awe.

"You must have really loved her, huh?"

"Yeah, I did."

Sorry if this chapter was a little boring. I just wanted to write something. I've literally had the worst day today. First, I had to give a speech to my grade and the grade above me (which included some really hot sophomores) and right in the middle of it, the computer just wiped out and had an error or something and I started freaking out and it was humiliating. Then I came home and procrastinated studying for my English test, which I know is going to be super hard bcuz I didn't even read the book. And gw, I forgot my ipad at school WHICH HAD ALL THE NOTES ON IT. And I know none of my like two friends are gonna send theirs to me. So I started crying at freaking out to my mom and she said I can just skip school tomorrow. But then get this, I have a video project due Friday and we were supposed to film it tomorrow but I cant if im not at school. So im screwed basically and idk im just having a rlly bad week. There. End rant. You didn't have to read it, I just needed to type it.

Just so everyone is on the same board about the story…

Divergent1315- Yes, you're absolutely right that Tris would never do this but that's kinda the point. This is 5 years after allegiant, and Tris has no memory of who she was. This means she's a completely different person. And shes an adult and shes more mature and affairs happen a lot In adult relationships. I mean just watch like an episode of gossip girl and you'll feel me.

StoryWebber- I didn't even notice any grammar errors whoops. I get pretty lazy when it comes to editing I just like to write it and get it over with. Sometimes I make some grammar mistakes on purpose because it just sounds better. Idk ill make sure I try harder. But for the ANs like idec lol.