Furahata Motoki's guide to being a closeted homosexual
Step 1: Get actively involved in the family business to the point that if you do come out of the closet, there is no way the family will disown you or risk major financial repercussions.
Step 2: Get a "girlfriend" who keeps taking part in an out of the country programs to act as a beard so the people around you stop suggesting you need to find someone. At least a little less.
Step 3: Develop a crush on the handsome loner who no one else talks to and keeps to himself. That way you can fantasize about what it would be like for the two of you to be together.
Motoko's guide had served him well for many years since he realized who he really was. Unfortunately, recent events have made it impossible to follow step three.
The first two steps went off without a hitch. Motoki had dedicated himself to the family business, making sure to be on call every time he wasn't in class to be able to take over the place when his father eventually retired. At the same time, he met a girl who wasn't exactly honest with the company she preferred to keep either. This meant, Motoki and Reika served as each other's "special someone" whenever a family member asked about being in a relationship.
As for step three, well it had started simply enough. While working for his family arcade and cafe, he noticed a student who came in on a regular basis. He sat alone, only ordered coffee or, in the rare instances, a light dinner. His intent was always the same though: he wanted a space to study. Motoki took a liking to him immediately. Not just because he was handsome and elusive, but because he could tell there was something more to him. He always had a look of loneliness in his eyes but never seemed to act on it. Instead, he would follow a routine. He'd come in, order a coffee, drink enough to burn a hole in any regular man's stomach, but gave enough business that no one could claim he was loitering.
Motoki made sure to be the one to serve him as often as possible. He was hoping for an opening. Eventually he found it. He noticed a book the student was reading was one he had read himself in a class last year. He decided to try and use it as a way to talk to the student.
"You know," Motoki began, clearing his throat to get the young man's attention. "I had to read that book myself for a class. I think I'd still have notes on it if you'd like."
"Really?" The student asked, putting the book down and taking off his glasses. The very act of him removing his glasses made Motoki's heart skip a beat. "Actually I'd appreciate it. This whole Tale of Genji section is going to be the death of me if I don't turn it in. But um…why are you willing to help out a stranger?"
"Stranger?" Motoki chuckled, maybe a bit too loud but he couldn't help but feel nervous. "Hey, you're enough of a regular customer we should put a sign on your spot to let others know it's reserved.
The student shrugged, before forming a small smile Motoki had never seen before. "Thank um…"
"Furahata Motoki," Motoki responded, puffing out his chest with pride. "My family owns this place, so I spend far too much time here as it is. And you are?"
"Chiba, Mamoru," The student responded, offering a hand. The two men exchanged a firm handshake, one where Motoki wondered if he didn't hold on for a bit too long.
"So Chiba-san," Motoki cleared his throat again after the handshake in an attempt to compose himself. "You're in here a lot but you usually just study. Why don't you use the library?"
"I do but…the silence gets deafening sometime," Mamoru replied, replacing his glasses. "Know what I mean?"
"Yeah I kinda do," Motoki agreed, watching Mamoru return to his book. So began the friendship between Chiba Mamoru and Furahata Motoki. The student who liked a bit of noise as he studied, and the arcade worker who hid how he preferred to live from the rest of the world. The sharing of notes led to deeper conversations and hanging out in places other than the Crown Cafe. Motoki even brought Mamoru home to meet his parents. He had insisted Mamoru was just a good friend, who didn't have much family and could use a home cooked meal. Motoki's parents immediately took to the overachiever and welcomed him to come over for dinner any time he wanted. Though Motoki claimed Mamoru was "the brother I never had" he secretly hoped if it turned out Mamoru returned his feelings, his parents would find it easier to accept his sexuality if they knew he was dating someone they approved of so highly.
Everything seemed to be progressing smoothly for Motoki and his quest to get to know Mamoru better. Until one day, things changed. A day when Motoki discovered his lonely friend was talking with someone else.
"Ugh, can you just leave me alone?" Usagi asked, groaning loudly. Motoki had arrived for his shift only to find the high school girl yelling at Mamoru, as he sat in his usual spot reading.
"Usagi-san?" Motoki began, finding the entire scene strange. "Is everything okay?"
"Motoki, thank goodness," Mamoru grumbled, but Motoki couldn't help but notice the half smile he had on his face, as stole a glance at Usagi. "Save me before she throws anything else at me."
"Toki-ni-san, do you know this baka?" Usagi wondered, looking at Motoki with a look screaming "Please tell me you don't and you can magically make him disappear."
"Yes, that's my friend Mamoru," Motoki informed Usagi. He had never seen the girl so worked up before. "Did something happen?"
"Ugh, he's just so annoying," Usagi shook her head and stomped out of the cafe section towards the stairs leading down to the arcade.
"So…how do you two know each other?" Motoki questioned, making sure Usagi was gone before asking.
"That Odango-atama hit me in the face with a piece of trash. From there I just can't seem to go a day without her hitting me with something," Mamoru announced, taking off his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Girl is a walking headache."
"So you don't…," Motoki began, trying to make sure he phrased this just right. "...find her attractive?"
"Attractive? Maybe…but dateable?" Mamoru chuckled and shook his head. "You're hilarious Motoki. You should write some material for standup. You'd kill."
Motoki sighed with relief and felt foolish for thinking a loner like Mamoru would be good for a living bit of sunlight like Usagi. This eventually led to a new dynamic where Usagi and Mamoru would end up in a squabble and Motoi would be left with whoever stayed longer and a chance to have them talk about how the other one was annoying. When it was Mamoru, Motoki loved it as it seemed like he was indeed opening up more. It felt like they could trust each other with any secret, truly kindred spirits.
Until the unthinkable happened. Mamoru disappeared. Motoki was concerned. Even worse, when it was Usagi who was the one who had the answers for where Mamoru had gone. "He…took an out of town internship. He'll be back…soon."
Motoki was hurt by how Mamoru had told Usagi and not him of this opportunity but he tried his best not to let on about it. When Mamoru did return, things had definitely changed. Usagi and Mamoru began dating. The lonely student had actually let someone in and Motoki's heart was hurt by the development. He hoped it would be a passing attraction and the two would be broken up like some type of a spring fling.
Unfortunately this was not the case. Mamoru and Usagi continued to date and it was easy for anyone to see how they felt for each other. Motoki witnessed Mamoru come out of his shell even more. Mamoru would interact with Usagi's friends, as if he had never preferred solitude. When Mamoru would take Usagi and her little cousin Chibi-Usa out, it was easy for any passerby to mistake them for a family. Motoki saw Mamoru smile in ways he had always hoped he would for him, and it broke his heart.
Motoki loved seeing Mamoru happy and no longer choosing to cut himself off from the rest of the world, but at the same time he hated himself. He wanted to be the one to be with Mamoru. To sit alone, talk with him, and get lost in his deep blue eyes.
Motoki found himself secretly despising Usagi. The young woman became an enemy without even realizing it. Yet, at the same time she was a close friend and kind to everyone. Motoki never let on how much he truly envied the time Usagi and Mamoru were able to spend together.
As time passed and Motoki's feelings remained constant, he found himself getting lost in daydreams. He began to fantasize that Usagi wasn't as kind and compassionate as he had seen. That she was instead an individual who did not appreciate how wonderful a person Mamoru was.
Motoki kept imagining one fantasy over and over again when he had time to dream. In it, Usagi would leave on a whim and go off on a tryst with someone, leaving Mamoru heartbroken and vulnerable. Usagi's friendship with the flirtatious idol Seiya helped with this fantasy. A deep and repressed part of him wanted Usagi to return Seiya's feelings and Motoki would finally have the opportunity to tell Mamoru how he felt.
Motoki dreamed of walking inside Mamoru's apartment, using the key he was trusted with and finding his friend crying his eyes out on the couch. Motoki would sit next to him, wrap an arm around Mamoru, and as the emotions flowed, Mamoru would move in closer. They would lie on the couch, as Mamoru's tears made the front of Motoki's shirt wet.
"What am I going to do without her," Mamoru would wonder, looking up at Motoki with eyes full of tears. "I never wanted to be alone again."
"You won't be alone anymore," Motoki would promise, wiping the tears from Mamoru's eyes and keeping both hands at the sides of his head. Summoning all the courage in his being, Motoki would pull Mamoru close and kiss him with an act full of all the love and devotion he had cultivated over all the years. As they would kiss, Mamoru would shift his arms so they wrapped around Motoki and the two became locked in a tight embrace. When they finally separated, Motoki found it hard to breathe but saw something new in Mamoru's eyes. A look of want and need he had always hoped he always hoped he would see in his friend's eyes showing he reciprocated his feelings. "I promise."
From there Motoki lets his most perverse fantasies play out, as he and Mamoru make love deep into the night. It is everything he ever wanted and confirms all his devotion and longing for the reclusive student was rewarded. The two would fall asleep in each other's arms with Motoki wearing a smile of absolute contentment on his face.
From there, his daydream continues with Motoki being able to deliver a verbal assault on his supposed enemy. He fantasizes about chewing out Usagi for coming back and expecting him to be there waiting while she fooled around.
"You thought what?" Motoki would ask, his arms crossed, as he insisted Usagi was no longer welcome in the Crown Cafe anymore. "You'd find someone better. News flash, he's amazing in bed and you are just too immature to appreciate how good it was."
Usagi would try to protest. "Oh sure guys can talk about how good they are but…"
"I'm talking from experience," Motoki would snap, shooting Usagi a glare, which made it clear he meant it. "Or maybe you are so inexperienced you were unable to help him reach the heights of pleasure we achieved."
From there, the vision ended with a sweet moment. As Motoki would be waiting in Mamoru's apartment for him to return from his shift at the hospital. Mamoru would walk in, exhausted, and collapse on the couch, adjusting and using Motoki's lap as a pillow. Motoki did not say anything. He wanted nothing more than to get lost in the moment, stroking Mamoru's hair, and letting the man he loved rest for the day before giving him the bad news about Usagi being back in town.
"Usagi is back," Motoki finally admitted. He didn't know how to approach the subject gently but nothing came to mind. He thought it would be best just to come out and say it. Nice and fast, just like a bandage. "She wants to get back together with you."
"Of course she does," Mamoru groaned, taking a deep breath. "So what should we do for dinner? If you ask nicely I'll shower and we can go out."
"Didn't you hear what I said?" Motoki asked, unsure of what Mamoru was thinking. "Your ex is back and she wants to fix your relationship."
"There is nothing to fix," Mamoru stated, opening his eyes and looking deep into Motoki's soul. "I love you, not her. She'll just have to learn to accept it."
Tears form in Motoki's eyes, as he leans down, kisses Mamoru deep, and lets him know the feeling is mutual.
O.O.O
Unfortunately, these were all dreams and never materialize. Instead Motoki is often reminded of just how much love Usagi possessed for Mamoru. A more recent encounter came as Usagi, a year out of high school, came into the Crown Cafe, with bags of food in her arms.
"One chocolate milkshake please," Usagi begged as she put the food down on the counter before taking a seat in the stool. "I need a quick recharge before I head to Mamoru's."
"Looks like a lot," Motoki observed as he went to work making the young woman's treat. "What are you making?"
"Croquettes," Usagi smiled with pride. "The Manga-ka I worked for gave me a recipe. I want to make sure Mamoru has a filling meal. His internship at the hospital has him running ragged."
"Seems like the two of you have been busy," Motoki commented as he finished the milkshake and gave it to Usagi. "I barely see either of you around much."
"Yeah, we have both been super busy since I got out of school," Usagi replied as she began to drink her milkshake. "We see each other as much as we can but we are always so tired. I wanted to cook for him because he spoils me so much and is so supportive, as I work towards becoming a manga assistant. I love him so much."
"He's…he's a great guy," Motoki sighed, hoping Usagi would not recognize the defeat in his voice. Usagi was not the enemy he wished she was in his dreams. She was a kind, caring woman who loved Mamoru deeply. "Usagi-chan…thank you for taking such good care of him. I…I really don't want Mamoru to be the lonely boy he used to be."
"I will do everything in my power to ensure he's never lonely again," Usagi stated firmly as if it was her mission in life to ensure Mamoru was never again starved for attention and love. "I promise."
Motoki sighed again and accepted defeat.. His step three had failed and he knew it. Yet, he couldn't ignore how he felt. He loved Chiba Mamoru very much and it was the deepest pain and greatest joy to see him find love with Tsukino Usagi.
O.O.O
A/N: Why did I decide to do this rare pair? I wanted to challenge myself. I have never written a M/M story before and decided this year's Sailor Moon rare pair week would be a great time to try it. Let me know how I did. Comments are love and they help me keep writing.