Bring Me to Life

Insert all legal stuff here

Five

I shouldn't do this. She…She once told me that it defied all things natural. 'Sorry Sweetie,' I think, 'but I have to do this.' So I will.

I've done it before. I've brought someone back. It was more than that though. She had been happy. I took that away, ripped her out of heaven.

But…I need to do this. She, she adjusted once, she can do it again. She's strong, they all are.

I…I know that if I were in their position, happy, oblivious, I'd want to know. I wouldn't want to have been able to do something, and not do it.

That's why I have to. How can I live with myself if I don't? These people gave themselves to protecting the world.

I have so few things to remind me of all them. I have The Sla-…Buffy…I have Buffy's ax. She used it to the day of her death. Her and that Summer's driving.

I still have Xander's hardhat. Don't know how that got saved when Sunnydale…

I lost everything I had to remind me of her. Pictures, items…even her body. I can't ever visit her. I remember, I actually went to her father, begging for a picture. I…damn, I'm crying again. …I just stood there, in front of that horrible man, crying, begging to have, at the least, just a picture.

He…finally gave in. I think he did it just to get rid of me. So I got my picture: a sixteen year old Tara and her mother.

I always have it with me. It's all old and yellowed now. But I still have it.

I kept a photo album with me, always, after Sunnydale was lost. All my friends, my family, they're all in it. I have they're lives in it.

If everything goes right, all be seeing them all real soon.

Goddess help me.

I don't know how she does it. My Grandma…It's weird, I go through spurts. Sometimes I call her Grandma, sometimes I call her Willow. Weird huh?

What was I saying?

Oh yeah…got a little off topic there. I've been told that I'm a bit like my Grandmother. Well, both actually. It's a thing. I love money…and have a strange distaste for rabbits. Grandma just laughs.

Honestly, I don't know what I'd do without her. I don't know how many girls out there can say that their Grandmas are their best friends, but mine is. We've been through so much together.

My dad, he knew about her too. Grandma had told him so much about her that it was almost as if she were his mother as well. I feel like that too, only that she's another grandma, not mother.

Yeah, yeah…I babble a bit.

She's told me so many times that I should find someone to love. I don't bother. I don't want to. I don't want to be left alone.

So it's the two of us. Me and Willow. And William and Angel too. We all look out for each other.

Grandma's told me so many stories. Never those 'well in my day…' ones though. She told me how happy she was when Gay marriage was legalized. I told her a while ago that I was. Gay I mean.

Nowadays it's easy for two women or two men to have a baby. Though at first there was the issue of three parents, not two.

Willow'sincredible. I'm glad I'm stuck with her.

To see Buffy again. She's been gone…centuries. I know that we can't be together…but…to see her.

She was a great person. I was so proud of her when she finally graduated college and got herself a career.

I…I was jealous…when she got married. And…I hate myself for it…but I was glad when the two of them got divorced.

I remember when Buffy came to talk to me. About her divorce. She was so sad and scared. She'd been having feelings for someone else.

Oh God…I'm going to see her again.

This is all so…strange. I have no doubt that Red can do it though. She can. She will. She's…she's been through so much. She deserves to have her lover back.

Buffy and I…She loved me. She wasn't in love with me though. It hurt at first, yeah, but I got over it.

I wonder what she'll think of her new world. It'll definitely be a change.

It'll be just too easy to get them. Ms. Rosenberg thinks that this'll make a difference. She's wrong.