Chapter Twenty-Five – Hopelessness

Wooded Area around Tranquility Lake

Bumblebee's Perspective

Darren pressed his lips harder against that girl's, laughing lightly as the shy female giggled with him, their two silhouettes one you would see in a romance movie. I watched through the whole thing, appalled, not believing what my own eyes were showing me. I was shaken out my shock when a massive hand landed on my shoulder, and I turned my eyes frantically, my spark skipping inside me.

I looked into ice cold, blue eyes of a man, well over my height, his face etched gravely in solemn and the hardness of war. His hair was flat on top of his head, a chrome silver color in the sun. His eyes narrowed at me and I stepped back.

"I-Ironhide?" I stuttered out nervously, looking him over. It'd been long since he had been in his human protoform, as he preferred being a robot. "What're you doing here?" I felt my cheeks flush.

Primus, I hoped he hadn't caught me watching. I hoped he didn't think anything suspicious.

He took his hand off of my shoulder. "I could ask you the same thing," he said gruffly. "How long have you been there?"

"Not long a-at all," I stammered. "Wh-Why? Why do you ask?" I was talking too quickly.

No…Calm down, I told myself. Don't act guilty.

"And what're you doin' anyways?" He asked, arching an eyebrow.

Before I could even utter a sound, that infamous voice sounded.

My blood ran warm instantly, my spark's pulse spiking angrily.

"Well, well, well…What do we have this time?"

I turned my head only to see Hot Rod grinning ear-to-ear with his hands on his hips, pure craftiness glowing in his wild blue eyes. He strolled over to us both in a mockingly casual way, looking at me the whole time. He stopped and leaned in toward me. I glared in complete hate, narrowing my eyes.

Yes. Now I knew I hated him as much as a Decepticon.

"You said you weren't going to follow me," I growled. "Get out."

He chuckled. "Correction, Bumblebee. I told you, 'I guess I won't be following you.' That doesn't mean I promised." The way he looked into my eyes disgusted me. I wanted to pounce on him, pummel him with fists, and make him beg like he made me, but Ironhide would certainly report my behavior to Optimus. I pushed him away from me.

"Get outta here," I droned lowly. "NOW."

He ignored me arrogantly. "Bumblebee, I don't believe spying on anyone is appropriate behavior," he said in a grin. "Why were you?"

Again, someone else cut me off.

His voice…

"Bumblebee, is that you…?!"

My eyes widened at that voice and I turned, seeing Darren and his female staring at me, their hands holding each other's tightly. Darren looked extremely angered, his eyes narrowed in disgust toward me. He took a step closer and the female stepped behind him, looking at me as if I were supposed to say something. I only gulped down a lump in my throat.

Everyone was watching me.

Their eyes made we want to shrink and disappear.

"D-Darren, I…." I choked out.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He cut me off, his words as hard as stones. "You told me you were going out for a walk! Not here to invade my privacy!"

My mouth hung open, my chin trembling. "I-I wasn't…"

"Yeah, Bumblebee. Why were you spyin' on the kid?" Hot Rod butted in, humor tugging at his voice. "That's not right at all."

I was an Autobot spy. It was in my nature…

But, I wouldn't make excuses and give him opportunity to weaken me.

I just shot Hot Rod a cold glare. "Shut up!" I yelled, not fully aware of my words. "Stay out of this!" My spark thudded madly, my optics flashing.

I was so disgusted.

Unexplainably. Furious.

"No, Bumblebee. He's right," Darren thundered at me, his eyes narrowing even more. "Why in the hell were you spying on me?! I thought you knew how to give someone their privacy."

"I-I wasn't doing anyth-…."

"Quit lying!" Hot Rod snapped.

"Jesus Christ…" sighed Darren. "Just tell me why!"

All was silenced when Ironhide stepped forward.

"Do you have a reason to explain yourself?" Ironhide asked, crossing his arms. "Did you come here on purpose? For any reason at all?"

"Y-Yes, well n-no…I-I…"

"You came to spy on the kid?" Hot Rod questioned, stepping to a place where I could see him clearly. "For what?"

My words got choked in my throat as I stared teary-eyed at him, and I felt the beginnings of tears rise.

Was anyone on my side?

"N-No, I wasn't spying on anyone!" My voice quaked. "I swear to Primus I wasn't!"

But, did I?

Everyone just stared at me. My chin trembled harder.

"…I swear, guys," I uttered in a small voice. "B-Believe me…"

Silence.

"…Yeah, soooo… you came down to watch him and make sure he was fine while he already had a suitable guardian? What sense does that make?"

"N-No! That's not right!" I tremored.

"Yeah, right," scoffed Darren. "I don't believe you, Bee…"

"Let him talk," Ironhide silenced them, giving them each a cold glare from his ice cold eyes. "Go ahead, kid. 'Splain yourself."

I shook my head, looking down a bit. "…What's the use?"

I'd only get shot down again.

I felt my heart drop inside me. Never before had I felt so…

Defeated, ashamed…

I'd rather be dead again than faced with this overwhelming guilt.

Silence for a moment. I bowed my head, fighting back tears of pain and shame. I listened to it and closed my eyes. My shoulders dropped.

"Darren, what's going on?" softly questioned the human female.

I looked at her, watching with a deep frown.

"Nothin'," Darren answered. "Let's get out of here…."

How those words hurt so much…Unexplainable.

Their footsteps pit-pattered away, shuffling across the grassy ground. The moment Darren left, my spark tried to reach out to him through our bond. It reached, but Darren's heart was uninviting, and pushed my spark away. My spark's aching was one you could not ignore, no matter how hard you tried.

I looked away to the lake, standing there between Ironhide and Hot Rod…hopelessly. I couldn't keep the tears away for much longer…

"Darren, stay here on the lake grounds," ordered Ironhide gently, looking in the humans' direction. He looked back at me, sighing. "This shouldn't take that long."

My droopy blue eyes looked up at him. Hot Rod leaned in toward me and I angrily looked back, hissing in my throat.

"Aww, Bumblebee, are you crying?" he teased me, laughing.

I shut my eyes and looked away.

"Hmm?" He rubbed it in, setting his hand on my shoulder. "What's wrong, buddy?"

I didn't look at his sly smile, or into those wild blue eyes. Only at the dirt floor.

"Hot Rod, mute it," snapped Ironhide. I felt Hot Rod's hand lift away and I moved over to Ironhide, standing next to him. The grave man gave me a small pat on my back, keeping his palm against my spine. The tears had rose too much and trickled down my cheeks. I didn't bother to wipe them away, even though they tickled as they slid slowly against my skin.

How I wished Arcee was there to comfort me.

"Now, what's going on between you two?" Ironhide asked, looking to Hot Rod, then at me. "Huh?"

Hot Rod shrugged, crossing his arms loosely as he shifted his weight to one side. "I 'unno what his problem is," he said smart-alleckly. "I didn't do anything."

I shot him a glare. "You fraggin' liar," I growled. "You know damn well what's wrong with me, because of what you've done."

Hot Rod glared, eyes electric blue.

Ironhide's hand squeezed my side gently. "Bumblebee, calm down," he said softly.

"Seriously, take it easy," said Hot Rod, arching an eyebrow.

I couldn't take it anymore.

I turned and darted away from them, through the tall collections of trees, through the low shrubs and bushes. Tears blinded me and I nearly stumbled forward completely as a hand grasped mine, letting out a soft gasp of alarm. I looked back into wild blue eyes hidden behind locks of yellow-streaked fire red hair. They were oddly calm, even worried.

He had never looked at me like that.

"Bumblebee, stop," Hot Rod told me.

I tried to pull my hand out from his, but he tightened his hold, making me grunt as I struggled. When I got loose, I fell back onto my aft, landing hard in the dirt. For once, he didn't laugh at me, didn't even smile, only watched me in concern as he lowered himself behind me. I started to slide away, disgusted just to be around him, but he took my shoulder and squeezed it. Our blue eyes stared.

"Hey, it's alright, okay?" He assured me. "Just hold still."

I narrowed my eyes and released another hiss, trying to see through his phoniness.

But, there was none.

"Look, man, I was only jokin' around," he said calmly, leaning a little closer.

I looked away. "What you did could have caused me a great friend," I murmured. "Our relationship could be utterly destroyed…"

He shook his head. "Bumblebee, you're a great, kid."

"Man," I corrected him. "I just have the mind of an eighteen-year-old human…as it was my equivalent human age as a robot. I don't think my mind has evolved…"

He made a face. "You're an adult human protoform, yet you have a young mind?"

I nodded. "It's a long story," I sighed.

He grinned. "Then, I won't bother to ask."

We sat in silence for only a few seconds.

"Bee, I'm just sorry, really," he sighed. "I didn't understand…how hurt you were."

I shook my head. "I doubt that, Hot Rod."

He blinked. "Bumblebee, I understand how you feel in your situation…I mean, a fellow Autobot has the femme of your dreams, and I'm almost sorry that I am that fellow Autobot."

I didn't say anything. After what he had just done to me, and even before that, I could only shake my head as his words. They couldn't be from his spark.

"…'Cause, you're a great guy," he said, patting my back.

Nothing from me.

"Bumblebee…"

"You say that yet you treat me like I don't deserve anything," I said lowly, rising to my feet. "I'm leaving, Hot Rod. And do not follow me…please."

He stammered out a sound, raising a hand of confusion at me. "Already? I wasn't even - …"

"Save it," I cut him off with a slicing gesture. "I don't wanna hear it."

Yes, whatever he had to say surely would not make me feel any better.

I felt lower than dirt.

I had to let all of this pain, shame, defeat…all of it had to get out. Somehow.