Sorry guys... got caught up with finals... then summer classes... then more finals... been on vacation... Got two new dogs (one eight weeks and one four weeks) ... been busy... but IM BACK!

A little shorter this time... Really considered splitting the last chapter into two chapter but figured it would be confusing so I left it... This chapter will give a brief look at Jokers thoughts and is slightly depressing but it will lighten up next chapter!

Again as always PLEASE REVIEW and if you have any extra comments, would like to see something, or any ideas to share please feel free to PM me!

I don't own anything

"No…"

"Then who…"

Then it hit them.

"Tali!"

Hand in hand Shepard and Garrus stood in awe of the Normandy's mess hall. From one end of the counter to the other was flooded with delicious treats.

His heart swelled for the little Quarian. She truly was like his little sister and she never failed to bring his real sister, Salona, to mind. He had not spoken to Salona since shortly after the defeat of Saren and Sovereign.

Spirits… I wonder how she is… how mom is…

He did not think much on his father. It was just too painful for him to acknowledge that no matter what he did it would never be enough for the retired C-Sec officer.

Garrus slowly took in all of the dextrose food that had been set out.

Spirits Tali… Sometimes you're just too good to me…

He was sure he would have killed someone that day two years ago on the docking platform purely from mowing them down if Tali had not kept everyone out of his way. It was amazing that he had not accidently hurt her. He had been so focused on finding Shepard that he barely registered what he was doing. He had heard later, in an angry message from his father, that he might have unknowingly dislocated Anderson's shoulder when he shoved passed him to get to the escape pods. Though the whole experience was a fog to him, he did vaguely remember a certain young Quarian pulling Joker out of the way of him at one point.

"JOKER!"

Tali yanked the dazed pilot out of the way of the rampaging Turian.

"Shit!" The distressed pilot yelped cradling what was sure to be a fractured humorous.

"Damn brittle bones." He murmured under his breath before turning his attention toward his manic friend. Never would he admit to anyone but he had surprisingly missed the large uptight sniper when he left the ship for C-Sec. Seeing him like this however, brought his momentarily forgotten guilt back to the surface tenfold.

Not even the pain of his broken bones could dull out the pain of his screw up. He had all but sliced his commanding officer's air supply by not following orders. He killed her. It was his fault, and now not only would the entire galaxy feel the loss of the Great Commander Jane Shepard, but her crew, the people who were closest to her, not only those who served with her but her closest friends as well would wander through the universe without their beacon of hope.

She was the glue that had held them together not only as a team but each person individually. Kaidan was sitting on a bench staring out into the sea of chaos but did not see any of it. His face was void of any emotion and eyes were empty. Tali was frantically trying to protect the bystanders from getting in Garrus way. As for himself, watched as Garrus pulled apart each and every shuttle frantically trying to find what could not be found. Hope. He shook his head as he observed his comrade and friend dismantle shuttle after shuttle as if by destroying the space craft he could keep from tearing himself apart.

No Shepard without Vakarian…

And it was true.

Joker watched on sadly as Garrus finally dropped, face in hands, in the last escape pod.

The pilot could not read lips and even if he could and Tali had not been wearing her signature enviro suit helmet, he was too far away to hear any words spoken in the stale air. But as he turned away from the two he swore he head Tali speak the words that no one wanted to voice. The words they all feared and did not want to acknowledge.

"She's gone Garrus."

Garrus had always thought that Tali was far too young to know the horrors of war. Her naive and shy personality spoke little to the power housed in her frail immune deficient body. She had a strong will and an even stronger temper when push comes to shove. She had proven herself not only to him but to anyone that ever doubted her abilities. She surprised him with her brains as well as with the ease that she maneuvered and fired her shot gun; but right then she sounded beyond her years. He, even in this horrid moment of utter despair, she was the strongest person he knew. She was not afraid to say what all the rest feared.

"I'm sorry Garrus, but we have to face the facts."

"Don't say that Tali."

He was finding himself at a loss. As hard as he tried he could not stop the salty tears from running down his face or eliminate the crackle of his voice.

"Did you find out what happened?"

"Garrus," She sat down next to him, "Garrus, she died saving the crew, saving Joker."

"She's not dead," He shook his head in disbelief, "she can't be."

"Commander Shepard might have been many things Garrus, but in the end she was only human."

"No she's not."

Garrus did not know whether he was saying she was any more or less than human or if he was refuting the fact she was dead. He shook her hand that was lying in a comforting manner on his shoulder and stormed past her out of the docking bay and out of her life.

He regretted not being there for her after Shepard's death knowing that the two women were close.

Just more things to regret …

His body sagged at the thought.

"Hey," The petite hand cradled in his squeezed slightly tighter, "most people and aliens alike get all excited when they are presented with a spread like this. What's wrong?" She looked up at him with the most concerned worried look he'd ever seen grace her face to date.

Feeling more deflated, Garrus dropped her hand sagged into one of the mess chairs and put his head into his hands.

I don't deserve Tali… I love her as a sister and I can't even take care of the sister I already have… And Shepard… She has the entire galaxy resting on her shoulders and here she has to drag my sorry ass out of the battery and force me to take care of myself…

"Garrus?" He felt her hand resting of his armored leg but could not look at her with all the selfish guilt that was plaguing his mind.

"Hey look at me for a minute, please?"

Her voice was soft as she gently pulled his clawed hands from his face with one hand as she balanced herself on the other that was precariously placed on his upper thigh. The hand that pried his from his scared mandible did not let go after it achieved in uncovering his face; instead it griped his in a soft embrace as she delicately threaded her five fingers around his three while her thumb ran softly over the smooth scales of his palm.

Only then did he look at her. Looking into her slightly scarred but still beautiful face he saw her worry, her fear, but did not see the pity he thought he would see. Garrus thought she was going to start berating him on how he took care of himself or lack thereof or pity the shell of a turian he was becoming. He even expected to see reflected in her eyes what he really was, a coward. A coward that could not face being a failure to his family so he ran; a coward that could not admit that he could not live without the guidance of his commanding officer; a coward that could not risk a friendship for a chance to be loved. No matter what Garrus thought he would see on her lovely freckled face, much to his surprise she simply smiled at him.

"Let's not let all of Tali's work go to waste." Shepard stood and pulled him out of the chair by their still entwined hands. "If you won't take care of yourself for you then will you take care of yourself for Tali, for the team, for our mission, for me? We all are worried about you Garrus."

"Let's not let all of Tali's work go to waste." Shepard stood and pulled him out of the chair by their still entwined hands. After seeing his reaction to the Tali's magnificent spread she became doubly concerned that he did not begin start gorging himself with the well prepared…

What is some of that stuff? ... Time for drastic measures…

"If you won't take care of yourself for you then will you take care of yourself for Tali, for the team, for our mission, for me? We all are worried about you Garrus."

She hated giving him the guilt trip and making him feel worse than he obviously already did, however, right now her main concern was his health. She would work on figuring out what was bothering him so bad once he had eaten and at least achieved a whole night's sleep. She could tell just by looking at him that he was in fact exhausted.

Seeing him clench the fist that was not holding her hand she grabbed it and while walking backwards pulling him along by both hands she tried to think of anything that might lighten the mood.

Grinning like she had won the lottery, Shepard looked up at her cohort in crime.

"Besides I want you to tell me what the hell a plasmid sandwich is, it sounds absolutely horrid!"

To her surprise and genuine pleasure he chucked.

Thanks for reading and PLEASE REVIEW! I am pulling a blank on the next chapter so if you have any ideas please let me know!