"Joeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, I want to make a Let's Play!" whined a fat little blonde baby man by the name of Jaimee Williams. "I want to be a gay retarded faggot like Pewdiepie and Tobuscus!"

"But Jaimee those people are incredibly lame excuses for human beings and deserve to be buried alive!" replied his friend, the handsome and dashing Joseph Anthony Mancosu. "They are almost as evil as Gays."

Joey was a racist homophobic intolerant man but what else could a perfect Aryan man be? Just kidding he wasn't blonde he had his hair it was red. Bright red. Like as if he had dyed it. But of course he had not dyed it, it was naturally like that because he had been blessed by God. That was so that everyone could tell that he was God's son. He had even read it in a Bible passage once. Of course he wouldn't dye his hair though cause that would make him a faggotsexual.

"But Joey, please!" Jaimee sobbed, pounding his fists on the floor and holding his breath until his face turned blue.

"Alright, alright!" Joey huffed. "Will you just LISTEN to me for one goddamn second? I was GOING to let you have your stupid way and make a stupid Let's Gay video, but unfortunately, I couldn't buy all of the equipment."

Jaimee stopped screeching for a second and looked at Joey, his mouth gaping like a confused fish.

"What do you mean?" Jaimee inquired.

"Well, I bought a microphone, and I already have a laptop and a copy of the game I was going to Let's Gay with you," Joey said, exhibiting a copy of The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, clearly a gay faggotsexual nerd game for twelve-year olds with Down Syndrome but y'know if you're going to be forced by your best friend to make a Let's Play channel you may as well give all those YouTube nerds what they want. "I even bought all of the necessary video and audio editing programs. I was going to buy a capture card as well so we could record from a console, but…... Unfortunately I had to dip into my savings account because my father took all my money from my checking account because he needs it now. But he found out that I used money from my savings account and it infuriated him. So yeah I can't buy anything now not even food for my children one day guess they'll just have to starve thanks dad bye"

"BUT I WANNA DO THE LET'S!" Jaimee yowled and started beating his head against every piece of furniture he could find.

"JAIMEE!" Joey shouted. "That DOES IT! I have had enough of your emotionally unstable shenanigans. Until you have learned to act your age and not throw tantrums like this, I am going to have to go home."

Joey went out to his sexy sports car, but Jaimee followed.

"NOOOO!" Jaimee sobbed. "DON'T GO IT'S NOT EVEN TIME YET!"

"Well I'm going to go early because I don't appreciate the way you acted!" Joey said. "Maybe next time you will know better."

He got in his car, and then Jaimee got in the passenger seat.

"WANNA COME WITH!" Jaimee sobbed. "I'M SORRY!"

"No get out of my car!" Joey said attempting to push Jaimee but Jaimee was of course too fat. Joey sighed in resignation and started up the car. Actually that makes absolutely no sense because if Joey was letting Jaimee ride along while he drove himself home then he would have to drive Jaimee back. Which is ridiculous. Or else let Jaimee keep his car which is a terrible idea because babymen don't deserve cars.

Well anyway, they were driving along, when they saw some meth dealers standing by a run-down house having some sort of illegal garage sale. There was a big ol' sign out front that read 'STOLEN STUFF SALE'.

"Say, maybe they have something good!" Joey said. He was never one to turn down a Stolen Stuff Sale. So he parked the car and got out, allowing Jaimee, still sniffling like a babe, to do the same.

"Hello, fine gentlemen!" Joey boomed, approaching the tweek-men. "What fine goods may I partake in today?"

"What?" one of the methheads, a rather tall man wearing a leather jacket who kept scratching himself, barked. "What the hell-who are you the government?! Oh yeah….the sale. Shit, man, I dunno, we got a lot of shit we stole go ahead look around…..DON'T FUCKIN TAKE ANYTHING OR I'LL STAB YOUR FUCKIN EYES OUT!"

"Okay geez!" Joey said, and he reached in a nearby box, shuffling through a bunch of electronics and dildos which was gross. Soon, his fingers discovered something quite interesting….a small device, which Joey pulled out of the box and examined.

"what….what is this?" Joey asked. It was a small plastic electronic device with the word Szandor™ printed on the side.

"I DON'T FUCKIN KNOW HOLY SHIT IT'S PROBABLY A GOVERNMENT WIRE TAP! GET IT THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" screamed the methman.

"Well….don't you want me to pay for it first?" Joey asked.

"I SAID GET THAT GODDAMN THING THE FUCK OUT OF HERE FUCK OFF GOVERNMENT I'LL FUCKING STAB YOUR GODDAMN STUPID GUTS OUT YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKER!" shouted the methaloon, and he lunged at Joey with a large switchblade. Joey ran back to the car and began to drive. Jaimee was left behind and was murdered by the vicious meth addicts. So Joey went back to Jaimee's house and to the forest nearby where there was a secret sacred shrine that nobody knew about. He presented Jaimee's body and made a prayer to the gods and they brought Jaimee back to life.

"Hey Joey," Jaimee said. "What's up?"

"Hey, man, you know what?" Joey said. "I think this may be a capture card….the last thing we need to record that Let's Gay you always wanted!"

"YIPPEE-SKIPPEE-SKUDOOOOOOOOOOO!" Jaimee shrieked, doing an excited backflip.

"CALM DOWN LITTLE FELLA!" Joey cackled, tussling Jaimee's blonde hair. "Let's go inside with some nice refreshing lemonade and record some YouTube vids!"

And so the two gentlemen went inside, not suspecting that soon their lives would be turned completely upside down. (That's a cliche in all of my novels.)