TJ notices his friends are there as well, he goes by them
TJ: Hey guys
Carl: sup TJ
TJ: so, I heard they're going to show the man old enough to remember what happened in the war
Kyle: (that's my grandpa!)
TJ: Really?
Kyle: (yeah)
Carl: He claims he was dead at the time, and was in hell.
TJ: wow, what did he do wrong?
Kyle: (He didn't go to church)
Carl: why didn't go to church?
Kyle: (to see the movie that started the war)
Docker: You know, I bet the Americans are going to win this one
Carl: what? No! The Americans don't win it!
Docker: You're going against your country if you don't believe the Americans are going to win!
TJ face palms
TJ: fatass, neither the Canadians nor the Americans will win the war
Docker: How are you so sure?
The boys pause, Carl's eyes widen
Carl: …because it's a fucking re-enactment! We were informed that Satan would pop out of the ground and would cause a shitstorm to happen after Terrance & Philip get shot!
Docker: who's Terrance & Philip?
Carl: the original people who founded the show which we now know as "Treggle & Phuck"
Docker: okay… I bet if the Americans win, you have to be my personal slaves for a month, but if you win, I have to be your personal slave for the month!
Carl: Ok, fine!
Docker: Fine!
They walk away from each other
TJ: Stupid asshole!
Carl: Yeah, I know!
Kyle: (you guys! Look!)
Trumpets sound, out comes a very old and disabled, Kenny McCormick
Kenny mumbles into the microphone, and then he proceeds to speak clearly
Kenny: Today is the day when our ancestors, went to war with the Canadians. It was led by General Plymkin and started by M.A.C; founded of course, by Sheila Broflovski
American and Canadian soldiers were getting ready to battle
Kenny: the black soldiers were strapped to tanks and planes for uh… protection, even if it was racist.
Kenny pulls out a pistol and shoots it
The two sides began to charge. Eventually, the Americans begin to take over the war, Kenny stops them
Kenny: No! No! No! Stop! Stop!
They stop
Kenny what was that? Neither the Canadians nor the Americans won!
Thunder suddenly starts
Kenny: damnit! This happens everywhere I go! Rain rain rain all the way!
Carl: wow Kyle, your grandpa still isn't dead yet?
Kyle: (Dude!)
TJ: Carl, that's not cool
The people enter the inside of the south park banquet hall
TJ: where the hell is Docker?
Kyle comes up with a bottle
Kyle: (hey guys check it out!)
Carl: what is that?
Kyle: (what's it to you?)
TJ: Alcohol?
Kyle: (crak-bubble beer)
Carl: Crak-bubble beer? Dude I heard that stuff is really strong
Docker arrives dressed in green with squinting eyes
Docker: Afternoon, men!
TJ: Docker… what the hell are you doing?
Carl: Yeah! You're dressed up like the American soldiers!
Docker: I've decided that I'm going to lead these troops. Screw you guys, home
TJ: You can't just come up to the American-Canadian war re-enactment dressed up like General Plymkin, fatass!
Docker: Really? I'm pretty sure I just did!
TJ: they're not gonna let you be in the re-enactment dickhead!
Docker spots the bottle
Docker: what's in that bottle?
Carl: it's a bottle of Crak-bubbles beer
Docker takes the bottle from Kyle's hand
Docker: I'll take that!
Docker opens the bottle and drinks it empty, then leaves. The boys are shocked
TJ: I think Docker has been drinking
Later on, the weather clears away and Kenny rewrites his narration script. The re-enactment starts
The men in green are the Americans; the Canadian men in grey are the Canadians
Kenny: ahem… it was a cold morning in 2012. Sheila Broflovski was leading M.A.C against Canada to execute the beloved Terrance & Philip and kill the source of "obscenities" which she believed had been Canada. It ensured a bloody horrific battle, but after many hours of war, Sheila had shot Terrance & Philip herself, even though her son Kyle Broflovski had taught her the wrong doings and the fact that her adopted son "Sir Ike Broflovski" was Canadian himself…
Docker: Yawn!
Carl: Docker! Dude! Your ancestor had a V-Chip!
Docker: Bullcrap!
Kenny: I shall never forget the day that that fatass Eric Cartman bet me 100 bucks to light a fart on fire, which resulted in my death… after Sheila had shot Terrance & Philip, Satan exploded out of the ground due to the innocent blood touching American soil, along with his former gay lover, Saddam Hussein. Here is the re-enactment of that great battle.
Kenny blew the whistle, the two sides charge
American Leader: Charge!
Canadian Leader: Let's bring those American stranges down!
American Leader: Fire!
Some guns go off
American re-enactors: yeah!
Canadian: let's go my lads!
Their guns fire off
The battle continues, and even a cow gets into the act
Docker gets in to the battle; he begins hitting people with an unloaded gun
Spectator 1: so this is what is was like?
The battle continues, but now it's hand to hand combat
Spectator 2: [stands up] hey, what the hell is that guy doing?
Docker runs out of the crowd, firing his assault gun into the tower
Docker: woo hoo! Go go Americah!
Re-enactors: huh? Wha-?
Kenny: oh god dammit, what now?
Re-enactor: He killed the Canadian minister
Re-enactor 2: He can't do that!
Kenny: The Americans don't kill the fucking minister!
Docker: Our children shall be safe!
TJ: Docker! You can't do that!
Kenny: damnit, now we have to start over… again!