Back in 2014…

Cartman has his face on his desk sulking, someone knocks on his door

Kyle: Cartman! {Kyle, Kenny & Jimmy are at his door)

Cartman: Go away

Kyle: Cartman, you have to write a biography with us on the war!

Cartman: …Can't you see that I am emotionally traumatized by the war?

Kyle: Why? You were there when it happened!

Cartman: Exactly!

Kyle: So was I!

Cartman: Kyle, you weren't as traumatized as I was, you weren't the one who got a piece of metal stuffed in to you which zapped you when you said anything bad!

Kenny: (Dude, get the fuck over it!)

Cartman opens his door

Cartman: That's easy for you to say Kenny! You were dead!

The boys are confused at what Cartman said

Kyle: what?

Cartman: Am I the only one who actually remembers Kenny's deaths?

Kenny: [stutters] but… I…

Cartman: remembering how Kenny died started the fucking war! And guess who was in charge of it? Kyle's mom!

Kyle: Shut up!

Cartman: No really, she started a club against Canada because of some stupid movie we watched!

Kyle: stupid?

Cartman: She could've blamed it on herself and she would've been fine!

Kyle: It's not that easy dude

Cartman: She started a war and a song against Canada, which resulted in many deaths!

Kyle: you would do something like that-

Cartman: let me finish! She was going to use a V-Chip on children to stop them from swearing even though it was "falsely" proven by Doctor Vonshnocker or whatever the fuck his name is!

Kyle: How so-

Cartman: Let me finish Kyle! Your mom caused Satan to appear out of the ground if it wasn't for me, which I started to hate the war from then on

Kyle: well, it's not like she was going to kill anybody on purpose

Cartman: …her adopted son, your brother, was Canadian

Kyle: well yeah, I guess that was bad

Cartman: …General Plymkin ordered us to be executed with Terrance & Philip and my mom and your mom were perfectly fine!

Kyle is finally convinced

Kyle: Holy shit, your right!

Kenny: Yeah, my mom and Stan's mom were horrified by that

Jimmy was slightly traumatized by what he heard

Jimmy: …wow, what a terrific argument

All the boys stare at him

Cartman: …Indeed

Kyle: It's a true story

Jimmy: I know about the e-e-e-e-execution thing with children, I just didn't know it was you fellas

Kyle: then Cartman's V-Chip fucked up when he went to turn the generator off

The boys walk downstairs