Thursday, September 10th 3:02am

Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. We're still related right, Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru.

The beginning was when Haruhi came. But that was just the beginning of the end, the milk didn't spill until Hikaru told me he loved her. They'd started dating soon after she came, and I was genuinely happy for him. He

Was

Happy.

Not me, he was. All he spoke about was Haruhi, it made me sick. It still does, he doesn't notice though. At the host club, it's not brotherly love anymore. It's me, trying to get my brother to notice me. The girls notice, everyone but him. Why didn't you notice?

How can brothers not notice the small changes the other make. How could you not notice me crumbling apart. Even when you told me you wanted to sleep in separate you. Hikaru, how?

No one loves me, if family doesn't love you who will. I'm just a fat selfish dick. That's all I've ever been. Except I only want Hikaru, I'm a dick to everyone else.

I'm fat, that why once Hikaru started to ignore me and hang out more and more with his girlfriend I thought it was because I wasn't good enough. And now that I've planned my death for the twentieth or so, I'm still not good enough.

I only weigh about a hundred twenty pounds, that's still too much. Tomorrow's Friday, the day they do it. Here. They think I'm sleeping when they do it, so she has no reason to keep quiet. Sometimes I picture myself being her, being good enough for him. But I'm a man, he's my brother.

Even Haruhi has noticed how I'm different. She's the person that's made me crumble down. I'm like a cardboard box, after the rain I've fallen apart.

And I have fallen. I cut myself six times today. Three of them where normal, just to try and focus on the fleeting pain. But the other three where because Haruhi came over a few hour a ago and they did it.

She's like a slut, I don't know what he sees in her. But I love him, I really do.

Sometimes I think the only reason I have any contact with him anyway is cause we're related, I look in the mirror to see his face. But I'm nothing compared to Hikaru, he's a deity while I'm the lowly human, the untouchable. Maybe she'll have an accident and die. I'd be able to help him back on his feet, I'd be useful and, well, noticed.

Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Would you notice if I died, Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru. Hikaru.

A/N: sorry for the day late update, I figured people hated it because of the reviews... I'll complete it but won't be posting the sequel on here so if anything go find me on wattoad tw_cindy (cuts isn't completed on their either.)