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Chapter 4 - Sweet Lark

"I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me that trouble of liking them." - Jane Austen

Jane and I stay upstairs while Caroline and the men are downstairs playing cards. Bingley had insisted that the sick bed be brought down every morning and upstairs every night; however, I could not get better under Darcy's unwavering glare and I did not wish to be even more of a burden than what Caroline believed us to be.

Truthfully, I fear Darcy's eyes, for; I do not know why he detests me. Most modern women have taught themselves to never cry in public and I am a firm believer in this practice. But, I fear that if I face Darcy again, I shall surely cry!

It is like he can shoot laser beams with those eyes! If only kryptonite were real!

Jane turns towards me, "Let us go downstairs, Lizzy."

I look at Jane and shake my head, "I can't."

"Lizzy," Jane looks at me in confusion, "what will they think if we stay up here?"

I look away, for, I have never feared any man. I did not even fear my ex, Michael, even though he had quite a temper on him. But, I saw too much of Michael in Darcy that I, at once, did not wish to face him again. Though Darcy was more romantic and eloquent, they were both men and I fear, both thought of women as better off domesticated.

Finally, I oblige Jane, however, I feel queasy as we walk downstairs (and I am hoping that it is just the flu). We walk into the parlor room and Darcy and Bingley both stand up and bow. I nod towards them and towards Caroline.

Bingley smiles, "We have decided to hold a ball next week, for, we think that you both shall feel better by then."

"God willing," Mr. Darcy smirks at me.

I stare at him in confusion, for; I cannot tell if that comment is a "smolder alert" or a sarcastic jab at my expense. However, the intensity in his eyes makes me wonder if he hates me or is attracted to me or both. Oh my head is spinning!

Caroline looks at me, "It is better to make the ball two weeks from now, for, Miss Elizabeth is quite flushed."

I look apologetically at Darcy and he quickly looks away from me. He seems even more furious towards me. I feel hot tears flowing from my eyes and cannot bear to look at anyone.

Bingley looks at me and barks at Caroline, "Must you?"

"I only stated the obvious," Caroline haughtily sighs as she goes back to playing solitaire.

I look away and can feel Mr. Darcy's eyes upon me. Jane takes me gently by the arm, "She just needs to rest. We shall see you at dinner."

"How emotional they seem," I hear Caroline say, for, she thinks we are out of earshot.

"It is better to have emotion," I hear a gruff voice respond, "than to be sensitively hindered."

"Did Darcy just defend us from the Dragon Lady," I think to myself as I smile.

***

Once it is dinner time, I am back to my jovial self. I wear the prettiest dress I can find and though it is not as stylish as Caroline's; I am certain I can rock this outfit with aplomb!

There is no one downstairs yet and as I walk in; Mr. Darcy comes in from the other entry. "Poor thing, he seems frightened of me," I think to myself.

He hastily bows and I curtsy, but, trip over my own foot. He rushes over and places an arm around my waist to steady me. A very strong arm!

If there were a trap door, why could it not appear now? I have just tripped in front of Mr. Darcy! The Mr. Darcy!

I do nothing, but, look at him and he stares into my eyes. His hand lingers over mine for what seems like an eternity and before I know it, he pulls me up; closer towards him. I can smell his scent; of vanilla and clean linen. He does not seem to understand how close he is to me as he asks me, "Are you well?"

I take in a deep breath, "Yes. I am fine. I just had a clumsy moment."

Did I say too much? Probably.

He looks at me again and then, I fear, the same intensity enters his eyes. Why do you do this to me? I want to scream at him! But, I remind myself that I am not Elizabeth and that it is not up to me whether or not Darcy likes me.

He pulls my seat out for me, "Miss Elizabeth."

I sit down, "Mr. Darcy."

He walks towards the other side of the table and motions for dinner to be served. I look down at the plate that is set before me and see oysters. I think I am going to puke!

"I'm not really big on seafood," I admit.

"Please bring Miss Elizabeth the next course."

Another plate is set before me that looks even worse than the second; for, it looks like little birds that were found dead in the lawn! I get queasier by the minute until I just reply, "You know, I think I'll just have the dessert?"

"Miss Elizabeth," Caroline enters the room, "is the food not good enough for your extravagant tastes?"

"Please bring Miss Elizabeth the dessert," Mr. Darcy ignores Caroline's comment.

"Hardly extravagant," I say to Caroline, "I just prefer to eat light."

"And, dessert is light," Caroline questions my diet.

"Yes," I say, "a lot lighter than your three course dinner."

A full tray of desserts are presented before me as Caroline chides, "Oh that is very light, I assure you."

I ignore Caroline and choose an éclair from the selection. "Well," I smile, "if I am to enjoy what I eat then I might as well start off with the most exciting dish."

"Miss Elizabeth has a sweet tooth," Darcy inquires.

"Yes," I smile at Mr. Darcy, "I am of guilty of that."

A small smile appears upon Mr. Darcy's lips and slowly fades under Caroline's watchful eyes. Caroline breaks the silence, "I hear that you are quite talented, Miss Elizabeth."

"At what?"

"Singing." Caroline lies, "They say she sings like a lark."

"A dead lark, I assure you," I laugh.

"Well then," Mr. Bingley smiles, "we have some entertainment after all."

"When I say I sing like a dead lark," I humbly defend my position, "please understand that this means that I cannot sing well!"

"What woman cannot sing," says Darcy, "who does not possess such a melodic voice?"

Did Darcy just compliment me? Smolder alert number 2!

***

"I wish dinner were longer," I say to Jane as she takes me by the arm.

"You will do fine," says Jane, "just sing what you know."

"That's what I'm afraid of," I say to Jane.

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