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Chapter 10 – Someday You Will Be Loved

The enthusiasm of a woman's love is even beyond the biographer's. – Jane Austen

"Your neighbor" she looks at the curtain, "just woke up."

I take in a deep breath and look at the curtain. "You need your rest, love," my mom turns towards me.

I oblige her request by closing my eyes and not getting up until the doctor comes in to tell me that I am well enough to be taken home. I look back at the curtain and nod to the doctor, "Okay."

I am helped up by the doctor and my mom. When I look back, I see that the curtain had been pushed back at bit, but, all I see are his closed eyes. These eyes seem so familiar to me. I turn swiftly and my mom catches me, "Are you all right?"

I look back, but, the curtain has been pulled back by the nurse that is tending to him.

Am I seeing things?

"I'm fine," I lie as I look back; hoping Darcy will be there.

But, then I shake my head. "He's not real," I try to convince myself. "But, how can it not be real?"

My love for him is real. He has to be real!

I have decided to never speak to anyone about this, for; there is none that will understand. Who would understand that I nearly married a fictional character? They would think me crazy and put me in a different kind of hospital.

Soon, my mother and I are in the car. She turns the ignition and a song comes softly through the speakers.

I once knew a girl
In the years of my youth
With eyes like the summer
All beauty and truth
In the morning I fled
Left a note and it read
Someday you will be loved.
I cannot pretend that I felt any regret
Cause each broken heart will eventually mend
As the blood runs red down the needle and thread
Someday you will be loved

I begin to cry, for, the song is so bittersweet and though it does not capture Darcy; I feel that this is what he must feel without me.

Sorrow.

Despair.

Loneliness.

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved
You may feel alone when you're falling asleep
And every time tears roll down your cheeks
But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet
Someday you will be loved

My mom glances side-long at me, "Okay. What is it? Are you going to tell me or what?"

I shake my head. How can I tell her? She'll think I'm off my rocker! How do you tell someone that you're in love with a fictional character? To me, Darcy is real flesh and blood, but, the circumstances are not in my favor because I do not know if it was a dream or if I actually did travel to a different time.

Meanwhile, the song continues and I express certain unhappiness unbeknownst to me, for, even I do not know the extent of my own sorrow.

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved
You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved
Someday you will be loved

My mother keeps her eyes on the road, "Pirhana wants to take you to this new club that's opening up."

"Mum," I look at the cars whisking past me, "I don't do clubs."

"Maybe you should," my mother suggests.

"Mum, I'm not ready for this."

"When will you be ready," my mother asks.

"When men like Darcy exist," I say with emotion in my voice.

"Sweetie," my mom laughs, "I'm going to give you some advice -"

I groan, "Here it comes."

"Do you want to hear this or not," my mother asks in irritation.

"Sure. Go ahead," I sigh; uninterested.

"Darcy exists in every man," she smiles.

Sadly, that is the wisest thing my mother has told me. She, who is a mother of two, divorced and has resided to redecorating her home, is actually wise! I look back at her, "Yeah?"

"Every man is Darcy," she smiles. "Just give them a chance! All women have a Mr. Darcy in their lives; if they're lucky enough to notice."

"Are you referring to Michael?"

"No," my mother laughs.

"Thank god! I thought you'd never shut up about him!"

"I never really cared for him," my mother smiles. "I just want to see you married before I die."

Even though my mom was joking, I begin to cry. Wishing that I had actually married Darcy, I take hold of my mother's hand, "Don't worry, mum. It will happen."

"I wish you'd tell me what's wrong," my mother parks the car in front of my apartment building.

"Nothing," I shake my head and get out of the car.

I wave good-bye to my mother and she hesitates for a moment; making sure that I get into the building. As I get into the elevator, I receive a text from Pirhana on my mobile.

Hey! There's a new club that I think you'd love! We'll go next month!

I make a face of discomfort, for, I do not do clubs. I text Pirhana; hoping to get an answer by nightfall, for, I am wondering why I would love a club.

Pirhana texts me back.

Just you wait and see! Luv ya, Pirhana!

I sigh and reach my apartment. I put the phone on the charger and lay myself down; hoping to hear his voice again. But, I do not hear him and cry myself to sleep; thinking to myself that someday I will be loved.

***

Next month, Pirhana comes to my house with an outfit that I would never be caught dead or alive in for that matter. The outfit is a silver mini dress with stilettos to match. "Pirhana," I look at myself in the mirror, "you cannot be serious?"

"You look good!"

The truth is, I do look good, but, I was hoping for something a little longer and more "me." "I feel uncomfortable!"

Pirhana sighs, "Fine! Go wear your librarian clothing!"

"Ouch," I smile.

"This outfit," Pirhana winks, "is destined to bring to a man!"

"I don't want any men!"

I want Darcy!

"I knew that you would say that," Pirhana says in exasperation, "so, I brought another dress."

As soon as Pirhana unzips the garment bag, my eyes widen and my stomach clenches with surprise. "I know," Pirhana smiles, "isn't it gorgeous?"

"Wh-where did you get that dress?"

"An antique shop of all places," Pirhana smiles.

The dress is simple. It is of fine white cotton and satin. It is embroidered in satin stitch and knots down the middle of the skirt and on the bodice.

"This was the wedding dress I wore for Darcy," I think to myself.

Then it really did happen!!! He does exist.

***

Soon, we reach the club. The sign reads The Republic of Pemberley. "I suddenly feel déjà vu," I whisper to Pirhana.

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