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Chapter 3:

"Thanks. This is the place. Stay here until I know someone's home". I hand the driver a fifty dollar bill and start walking towards my dad's house.

The house is slightly different than it was when I was 12. Who knew that in six years things could change so much. Paint on the house has chipped and everything seems weathered, almost like no one has cared for the house in years. I knock on the door and no one answers. After ringing the doorbell twice and receiving no answer in five minutes it's obvious that no one is home.

I look up the address of the police station on my phone and after giving the cab driver the directions I arrive at the station a few minutes later. After giving him five more dollars I tell him to wait for me to come back and only then would I know if I was done with his help. I knew I should have rented a car.

The police station was small, but for a town this size I guess this is to be expected. There were a few desks around and as I started walking to the receptionist to ask if the chief was in, I catch the end of a conversation between two of the officers. "The chief can't still be at La Push. Usually his fishing trips are done by noon".

"When he and Billy get together they tend to lose track of time. I'll see you tomorrow Mark". The cops part ways, one going to his desk while the other leaves in his cop car.

I feel like this has become some sick scavenger hunt. Why does it have to be this hard? I barely remember Billy Black, but I do remember that he lives in a house close to First Beach. Whenever I came to stay with my dad we always ended up in La push, with him fishing with Billy and me playing with his kids. At least I have a general idea where he is. I don't know how I'm going to convince my driver to continue chauffeuring me around. I hope this is that last stop in this now four hour car ride.

"Can you please take me to First Beach in La Push. I'll give you an extra hundred dollars for driving me around so much". He gives me a smile and tells me not to worry about it. We pass the La Push sign and pull up to the beach. I tell him to go a few more miles, taking the turns that I seem to have remembered after all of these years. We come up to the house, and after I tell the cab to once again wait for my signal to leave I begin walking to the door. I knock three times and pray that someone will answer and finally put an end to this long journey.

No answer. Why does this keep happening. I'm about to ask the driver to take me back to Charlie's house, but then I start to hear some people laughing and I look down the path to the beach to investigate. I see a group of men sitting in a circle and I recognize one of them almost instantly. Billy Black. That has to be him. I tell the driver he can leave and after a see him disappear around the corner I start walking towards the men on the beach.

I see fishing poles surrounding them and a cooler next to an elderly man in a wheelchair. I have a feeling what's in that cooler...eww dead fish! I hear them laughing at something of them had said and when I come into their view the laughing abruptly stops.

"Who are you girl? What do you want"? Most of the men's' faces or passive, but one of them have such angry expressions that I find it hard to even look at their angry eyes. What hurts me the most is that the man in question that seems to exude hatred is Billy Black himself.

"I'm looking for Chief Swan. Do..do you know where he is"?

"Who wants to know"? Ok, Billy is really starting to piss me off!

"It doesn't matter who I am. I just need to see him right now!"

It's obvious that he has no intention of telling me where he is, and at this point I begin to admit to myself how desperate I am to find him.

"Please, I haven't seen him in so long. I know my mom said he didn't want anything to do with me, but she died last week and I found these letters in her things with his address on them. I just need to see him. I need to hear from him myself that he doesn't want me here. He's the only family I have in the world so please! Let me see him! Please!" I haven't cried at all since my mom died. It was so sudden, and with the discovery of the letters I have had something else to focus on so I have been able to put the horrible truth to the back of my mind. But in that moment I realized how important this really was. If my dad turned me away I would have no one.

By the end of my pleading I had starting to cry hysterically. The anger had disappeared from his features and was replaced with pity and sadness, but by this point I was inconsolable. I felt as though a dam had been holding my feelings at bay, and with every word I said a new hole was drilled into it until it was nothing but rubble. I tried to stop my ranting but I couldn't. "Billy please!"

"How do you know my name?" All I see is confusion and obvious discomfort for having to witness a woman crying in front of them.

"Billy! God! How do you not remember me! I'm…"

I hear a car door slam behind me and it's obvious that I know longer have to beg for help finding me father. There he is. I close my eyes and take a deep breath in. I know that if I don't start walking towards him now I will probably lose my cool and run in the opposite direction. I try to give myself a pep talk as I find myself getting closer to his squad car, but it falls on theoretical deaf ears.

I became an emancipated teen when I was 15 and tested out of high school to get my GED, all to take care of my mother. I got a job as a nursing assistant to support us. I started college when I was 16, doing things that I'm now embarrassed of to get this far. I have accomplish more in my 18 years than some people have in their entire lives, but I all I feel like is a pathetic little girl who wants her daddy to say he loves her and is proud of her. What will I do if he turns me away? "Please like me!" I sincerely hope the whispered prayer under my breath will help me. Please God help me!

He has hair the same shade as mine with the occasional grey hair, pale skin that is similar to the face I see in the mirror everyday. He has laugh lines that frame his chocolate brown eyes and a mustache and a 5 o'clock shadow. The smile on his face seems to express his love of fishing, which explains the comments made by his fellow police officers. This is the only time I might have to talk to him alone, so I jump at the chance and run towards him. I trip on my way, an inevitable event that happens to me constantly.

In the end I make it to the cruiser just as he is turning to go back to the dock. In fact I almost run into him. He jumps back when he realizes I'm about to barrel into him, and then he looks at me. There is no recognition, only confusion. He looks at me expectantly, but what is he waiting for? Oh yeah, he's probably waiting for me to talk.

"Um...I...Uh" Wow! What an intelligent introduction Bella! " Chief Swan" *Gulp* "I have come a long way to talk to you...Ugh" I have practiced what I was going to say so many times why is this happening? What is happening to me?

"Recently I have wanted to see you for awhile, but considering my previous knowledge of your feelings I would not have interfered in your life. But the discovery of a bundle of letters in my mother's belongings makes me question whether I was wrong all those years ago. I'm hoping that things will change, but now that is all up to you..Umm" Again with the stuttering! It's getting annoying.

As I continue to mentally belittle my sudden speech impediment, I pull out my driver's license and hand it to him. I assume he will need some sort of identification to prove that I am who I say I am. He looks at it, and it looks like he is about to be sick. I should have known he would act like this!

"I realize this is a huge inconvenience, but by your expression I can see that I..was right before...I promise I won't stay….." While I say this he looks up from the license. He has tears in his eyes and he looks at me - like someone looks at a rare piece of art or a miracle happening before your very eyes! His mouth is open and he is taking in huge gulps of breath. His chest is heaving and when I begin to worry about his health, he chokes out a name I never thought that I would hear again.

"Bells. Bella, my God! How.." He never finished his thought as he suddenly wrapped his arms around me. I awkwardly copy his actions, but it ends soon. He grips my shoulders, holding me at arms length and stares at me. It seemed like he was memorizing every feature of my face. Please want me! Please don't turn me away!

"Bella! How did you get here? Is your mother here?" I shouldn't be surprised that he asked about mom. The emotional breakdown that I experienced not too long ago has drained me. I have now reverted back to the logical thinker that I have had to be my entire life.

"She died last week in a car accident".

He is shocked, which is to be expected. To be perfectly honest I never thought about how he might take the news of mom's death. I was too nervous how he would handle receiving me. He recovered rather quickly considering the fact that he was just informed of the demise of a woman he had once been married to. Perhaps there was just too much bad blood between them. Hopefully that does not carry over to me after the novelty of my arrival wares off.

"You need to tell me everything! Let's go home.