Chapter 6
By the time the movie was coming to a close Stiles was almost asleep, his head resting on the pillow by Derek's shoulder. It had been an eventful day and he just wanted to sleep, to give himself a chance to process what had happened. He still couldn't understand why he trusted Derek, for all he knew he could just be waiting until the younger boy went to sleep before brutally murdering him. It also felt like the rest of the family knew something that he didn't, something to do with Derek, and he wanted to know what.
The sound of the credits beginning brought him back to full consciousness as he quickly sat up straight surprised by the loud music. Looking at his bed mate he was sure that the corners of Derek's mouth twitched up, if only for a second, before resuming his normal stern expression. So it is possible for him to smile then he thought as he forced his face into a scowl when all he really wanted to do was smile at this revelation. He had felt the urge to smile more frequently whilst he had been at the house then he had in the last few months. For once his smile actually felt real instead of the fake one that had been appearing more and more often as of late.
Whilst he had become lost in his thoughts he hadn't noticed Derek climbing under the covers next to him. It was only when he pulled himself back to reality that he noticed the other boy had closed his eyes and was laying facing him. He wasn't sure if Derek was asleep or not yet but he took the opportunity to study the older boy in a way he had not been able to when Derek's eyes were open. Starting at the top of Derek's head Stiles swept his gaze over all the areas of the boy in front of him that weren't covered by the thin quilt.
He had known since he first saw Derek that he was extremely handsome but now he could really see the beauty in the other boy. He examined the sharp line of his nose and the hard curve of his jaw wishing he was allowed to touch but knowing he would never have that privilege. Believing this would be his only chance to look he took his time slowly memorising every feature. After what felt like seconds but realistically was probably many minutes Stiles removed his eyes from Derek's face and moved under the quilt.
Closing his eyes he could still see the image of Derek sleeping printed on the back of his eye lids. He went to sleep with dreams of what could have happened if he had only reached out the small distance to the dark haired boy. If he had gently run a finger over that beautiful face like he longed to. Would Derek have opened his striking hazel eyes? Would he have reached out to Stiles in return? He knew this was all just a fantasy, Derek obviously didn't like him, he could hardly stand him, but it made for a good dream.
When he heard Stiles breathing slow down enough to show he was finally sound asleep Derek re-opened his eyes. He had felt the younger boy's eyes on him ever since the film ended and had been struggling to keep his hands to himself. Whilst watching the film the closeness of the other boy had been driving him slowly insane. The steady sound of his heartbeat, his smell, the way his breath would catch whenever something exciting happened, everything. Derek knew the younger boy thought he was good looking. He had smelt the attraction from the moment they met, but he refused to act on it. However much he wanted to make a move there was always something holding him back. Deep down he knew what it was but he loathed admitting that she still had this power over him. That she had ruined him for anyone else, for any chance he may have had with loud, hyperactive, charming boy who was currently sleeping soundly in his bed.
Feeling his anger rising Derek made an effort to regain control of his breathing. Thinking of her always brought back these unwanted feelings, feelings of anger and self-loathing but most of all it brought back memories of his own stupidity and obliviousness. She had almost taken everything he cared for away from him and he couldn't risk that happening again.
Looking at the small boy sleeping next to him Derek fought back the smile threatening to appear. However badly he wanted to trust the boy, however badly his heart was telling him to trust the boy, he couldn't let himself be vulnerable again. Next time he might not be so lucky. Next time he could lose everything.