Sighing with slight disappointment once again, Beckett dragged her cell phone away from her ear and hit the end call button, Castle wasn't answering. No surprise there. Ever since that appointment she'd had with Burke, almost six weeks ago now, when he suggested she call Castle, she had done twice a week. She'd left a message that first time, but he'd never got back to her. She wasn't giving up though, every Tuesday lunchtime and Friday evening, she called Castle without fail, no matter what she was doing or what case they were swamped with at work.

It might seem stupid, calling a man who quite clearly didn't want to talk to you, some would call it harassment but he hadn't made a complaint yet, no restraining orders made against her. In Beckett's mind though, calling him twice a week let him know that she was persistent and that she wasn't giving up on him anytime soon. Well, ever.

Sitting at her desk in the precinct that Tuesday lunchtime, she threw her cell back onto her desk just as Ryan reappeared from lunch.

"Castle still not answering?" He asked sympathetically. She knew the two of them had gone to see him, but they were keeping tight lipped on what Castle had actually said. Whatever it was, they weren't blaming her, not completely anyway. She had a feeling Lanie had something to do with that, the ME managing to convince the boys that Kate had done what she thought was right and that even though it wasn't, she was desperately trying to put it right, whatever it took. To their credit, the boys didn't mention him often - which she was grateful for, it was hard enough to do her job with the new captain breathing down their necks every five minutes, she didn't need constant reminders of Castle, too.

"No," Beckett replied, running her hands through her hair in frustration. She understood his anger, she really did but it didn't mean she accepted it. However, as Lanie had so helpfully pointed out, Castle was doing to her exactly what she had done to him in the three months after she had been shot so he was just giving her a taste of her own medicine. And it tasted disgusting. "I know he's angry and I get it but.."

"You just want him back," Ryan finished helpfully and Beckett nodded.

"Is that too much to ask? To want my best friend back? It's killing me here, Ryan, I'm not sure how much longer I can go without seeing him."

"Have you been to see him?" Ryan asked although he already suspected the answer. Castle still met with him and Javi once a week and he failed to believe Castle wouldn't have mentioned it if Beckett had attempted to meet with him.

"No," Beckett sighed, shaking her head. "I can't even get him to answer my calls, I highly doubt he'd take too well to me showing up unannounced, uninvited and unwanted." She was feeling sorry for herself and she knew it.

"Why don't you get out of here?" Ryan suggested. "We've got no case, Gates is out until Friday and if I know you like I think I do, that paperwork would have been done an hour after we charged our suspect."

Ryan was right - her paperwork was done and they had no case, the boys would call if a body dropped, but she could have an afternoon off, wander the city, get coffee at a little cafe she liked near Central Park.. "You know what, Ryan, you're right. I'm gonna go, just make sure you call me if a body drops, 'kay?"

"Sure thing, boss," Ryan smiled. He hoped a body didn't drop, for her sake. She'd pretty much been living here in the six weeks since she'd come back and she needed some down time. He knew it must be hard if her, Castle not being here and not even wanting to talk to her, but she still needed to remember to live. He smiled as he watched her go, making a mental note to talk to Javi about ways to get their old Beckett back - even if it meant doing it without Castle.

"Hey Lanie," Beckett called as she walked into the morgue. She was on her way out of the precinct, just as Ryan had suggested but she decided a visit to Lanie was in order first.

"Girl, you made me jump!" Lanie laughed, "what're you doing down here, I don't have a body of yours?"

"I'm heading out, Ryan's idea," she shrugged. "Thought I'd pop down for a chat before I go."

Lanie smiled and nodded, silently thinking Ryan had done good - how he managed to force Kate into taking the afternoon off she'd never know but she wasn't arguing, Kate needed some time off.

"He's still not answering," Kate admitted. Lanie wasn't asking but she wouldn't - Kate had learnt weeks ago that Lanie wasn't talking about it unless Kate brought it up first.

"You're not giving up then," Lanie asked absentmindedly, bustling around the morgue as she pulled things out and put others away.

"We've been over this, Lanie," Beckett warned, narrowing her eyes at her best friend.

"We have and I'm sorry, sweetie," Lanie sighed, standing up and facing Beckett. "I just..I care about you, and I don't want you to get hurt."

"Bit late for that," Kate muttered. "I know you think I should just drop it and move on but I can't. He's it for me, Lanie, there is no one else. I'm not giving up, not now and not ever." Even if she spent the rest of her life alone, clinging to the smallest part of hope that he would one day come around. It wasn't going to be easy and it wasn't going to fun, but like she'd just told Lanie - it was him or no one. She couldn't be in a relationship with anyone else when her heart had belonged to Castle for a long time now.

"Okay honey, I hear ya," Lanie said with a small smile. "And you know I'll always be here for you, right? No matter what you insist on doing."

"I know," Beckett smiled, "and I appreciate it, I really do. I'm gonna go for a walk..get some air, I think I've been cooped up in that bullpen for far too long!"

"Alright sweetie, enjoy your free afternoon - and call me if you need me!" Lanie added as Kate headed back out of the morgue. Staring at the door Kate had just exited, Lanie thought for a moment before grabbing her cell from her desk.

'You ever gonna put that girl out of her misery?' She typed, before sending the text to Castle.

He text back a few minutes later. 'Its easier this way, Lanie.' Was all he wrote. Lanie laughed out loud - if he thought he could kid her with that text then he was sadly mistaken, there was no way on earth she believed it was easier for either of them this way, but who was she to do anything? She just had to hope Castle came around sooner rather than later, she wasn't sure how much longer Beckett could cope, in spite of her 'everything's fine' act that Lanie wasn't buying.

Beckett decided to walk to Central Park, thinking the fresh air might clear her head a little, she really had been in the precinct for too long. To be fair, she thought she was doing better. Her appointments with her physical therapist were now down to just twice a month and she was only seeing Burke once a week.

She had to admit though, when it came to her meetings with Burke, she did put on a little bit of an act. She had told him over the past few weeks that she was moving on, accepting that Castle wasn't coming back. It wasn't a complete lie, she had told herself there was a possibility that he wouldn't forgive her but she pushed it to the back of her mind most of the time, and tried to think positively - it might take a while but Castle would come back eventually. Burke knew she was calling Castle twice a week though, and seemed to accept her reasoning behind it - even if it never worked out, if Castle never forgave her, she needed him to know that she never once gave up on him.

Arriving at her favourite little cafe, Beckett ordered coffee and a pastry, choosing to sit outside and enjoy the sunshine. As much as she tried to think positive, the fact that after almost six weeks Castle still wasn't answering was playing on her mind a little. Perhaps she should change when she called..maybe she could catch him off guard and hope he didn't hang up on her..

Swiping his thumb across the screen, Castle unlocked his phone and tapped on the little green icon to get rid of the notification telling him he had a missed call. He knew he had a missed call, he had missed it on purpose, ignoring his phone as it buzzed on his desk while he was writing. Or not writing. In fact, his screensaver had popped up some time ago, having not written a word in at least half an hour.

He was struggling with the book. With his previous one having just been published, Gina wanted the first three chapters of the next one in two weeks time - and so far he had half a paragraph written. He just didn't know where to take it, as much as she played it down, Kate Beckett was Nikki Heat - and with no Kate Beckett, he wasn't sure if there was a Nikki Heat.

He should at least answer her calls, he knew that. But he couldn't deny the small spark of satisfaction resonating inside of him every Tuesday and Friday when she called, the fact that even though he hadn't answered for six weeks, she was still trying, she hadn't given up. And if he was honest, that was a small reason for not answering - if he did and they argued would she then stop calling? It was selfish and uncalled for but what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her, even if she had hurt him.

It was okay at first, because half the time he simply missed her calls, busy writing or with Alexis, but now he had figured out exactly when she was going to call and found it harder and harder to tear himself away from his cell at that moment, waiting to see if she was still trying to speak to him.

He might answer next time, see what it was that she was going to do when he actually answered..

Finishing up her coffee, Beckett pulled out her phone and hesitated - she'd built up a little routine over the last six weeks, she called after lunch on a Tuesday and when she got home on a Friday - but she was about to break it all and call him mid Tuesday afternoon, just to try and catch him off guard.

Oh screw it, he probably wouldn't answer anyway. Pulling up her recent call list, she tapped on his number and waited for it to ring. On the third ring, something unexpected happened - he answered.

"Hi, Beckett," he said softly. Oh god it was heaven to hear his voice, it had been far too long.

"Castle," she breathed out, she hadn't been expecting him to answer. "I um..hi. How are you?"

"I'm good," he replied, "how are you?"

"Not too bad," she lied. In all honesty she had just about been managing to cope, but hearing his voice again was doing one hell of a number on her recovery. "I uh..can we meet? To talk?"

She felt his hesitation and mentally prepared herself for him to say no but he surprised her for the second time in as many minutes. "Okay, coffee?"

She'd just had a cup but if it meant she could see him, she'd drink it all day. "Sure, uh..I'm at that cafe in Central Park if you wanna come here? Or we can go-"

"That's fine, Beckett," he cut her off sharply. "I'll be there in fifteen." He cut the call off and she let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. He was actually coming to meet her, she would actually get the chance to talk to him - she just wondered how long he was going to call her Beckett for, she much preferred it when he called her Kate, it felt so much more personal..

This was her one chance, her one and only opportunity to put things right - or at least get them on the right track. It would take more than a coffee meeting to get back to how they were but it was a step in the right direction. Beckett could hardly contain her excitement as she waited for him, mentally preparing herself to see him again and plan out what she needed to say. An apology was top of the list, but there was probably an awful lot more he needed to hear too.

"Afternoon, Beckett," Castle announced as he arrived, sitting in the seat opposite her. Oh hell this had been a bad idea, he thought as he sat down, seeing her again..god she was so beautiful and she'd been trying, actually properly trying to get him back and it took every ounce of his self control not to yank her over the table and kiss her senseless.

"Hi, Castle," she murmured shyly. God it was good to see him..so good. Nearly two months had passed since he'd walked away from her outside that bookstore and every day had been hell but here he was, sat right opposite her.

The waitress spotted Castle arrive and came over to get them coffee. They both ordered their usuals and the waitress disappeared to make them, leaving Castle and Beckett with each other to talk to again.

"How's work?" Castle asked politely, choosing safe ground.

"Fine. Quiet. I've got the afternoon off, actually," she replied. "Ryan practically threw me out but he was right, I needed some down time. I um..why did you answer?" The question burst out if her mouth before her brain could filter it but she wanted an answer. He'd ignored around 12 calls from her over the past weeks but now he decided to answer?

"Got bored of ignoring you," he shrugged and Beckett tried not to let him see how much that hurt, that he had actively been not answering every time she called. "So, why did you want to meet?" He asked as their coffees arrived.

Was the man an idiot? What a stupid question! "Oh I don't know, Castle, maybe because you've been ignoring me since I got back and-"

He cut her off. "Yeah, not nice, is it?" He scathed, referring to the three months she spent at her dad's cabin.

Okay, point one to Castle, but still.. "Oh for crying out loud Castle, I apologised for that! And yes, I should have at least text to say I was alive or whatever but Lanie and the boys managed to let me have that time to heal and not get angry with me, why can't you?" She shouldn't have snapped but he was being so..ugh, why did he bother coming if he was just going to pick a fight? Infuriating man.

"Because I thought I was a little different from Lanie and the boys. They're your friends, I know, they're my friends too but you and I..god Kate, however much you want to deny it you know we're more than just friends." He was a little surprised that she'd bitten his head off, he had envisioned she would be all apologetic and hoping he could forgive her. Goodness knows why he'd thought that, Kate Beckett had never been like that in the three and a half years he'd known her. Dammit she was a stubborn woman but he'd be lying if he said he didn't love her for it.

"You are different, Castle," she half whispered, softening immediately at his words. "But I was scared. Oh god I was so scared, getting shot and lying on the ground of that cemetery, fighting to keep my eyes open as you-" oh shit.

"You..remember?" He asked, eyes widening in shock. "Beckett, do you remember what happened?" He kept his voice even, the complete opposite to how he felt.

"Yes," she admitted quietly. "Oh god, Castle I'm so sorry!" She cried. "I was scared and it was stupid, I know but I needed time to heal and to..to deal with things and-"

"Josh help you with that, did he?" Castle spat out. God he'd been so stupid, coming here thinking they might actually be able to figure out a way to move on..what an idiot for even thinking that!

"We broke up," Beckett said simply.

"Oh so that's what this is, is it? You broke up with Dr Motorcycle Boy and now you're alone and want some company? God Beckett, you've really changed." He stood up to leave, ignoring her pleads for him to stay and listen. "We're done, for good now," he announced, "don't expect me to answer your calls again." He stormed away from her, leaving her shocked and upset, still at their table outside the restaurant.

Oh god she'd really screwed up now..just when she thought they might actually be able to have a future together, she went and ruined it in the worst way possible! Jesus Christ she was an idiot..he'd never speak to her again now!

Storming away from Beckett and the cafe, Castle struggled to catch his breath. He was angry and upset and seriously pissed off that she had lied to him..and then had the gall to think they could actually make this work! Well they were done now, for good this time, he wasn't going back and he never planned on seeing her again.

Pulling out his cell, he brought up his daughters number and waited for her to answer.

"Dad?" Alexis answered, "is everything okay?"

Not really. "You win, Pumpkin - I'm moving to California with you."

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