A/N: writers block is a pain in the arse. I apologise if this isn't the best of chapters, but I did the best I could. Once again, thank you so much for all the love on this story so far.

"Yeah? And who're you trying to convince of that - me or yourself?" Beckett counteracted, taking a step away from him.

Castle had to concede that she had a point. He had been the one to bring this whole subject up and it was him trying to get across that this meant nothing - Beckett was right, he was trying harder to convince himself than to convince her. But what more could he do? If moving to the other side of the country didn't work then his words were all he had - only now, unlike his books he knew she loved so much, they weren't the words she wanted to hear.

"Okay," Beckett nodded resonably. "You don't wanna talk right now, that's cool." She gathered her things and headed towards the door, Castle still stood in exactly the same spot, looking completely confused.

"Are you going back to New York?" He blurted out, desperately hoping he hadn't sounded disappointed at the possibility that she could be leaving. It was for the best, it really was. They argued and fought and lied and didn't say what needed to be said, what kind of a basis was that for a relationship?

He wasn't too sure what to think when she walked out of his apartment without a word, just a small smile on her face.

Throwing herself onto the luxurious king sized bed in her hotel room, Beckett groaned as her cell beeped, alerting her to a new text message. She'd been out all day, she just wanted to sleep! Digging her cell out of her bag, she was surprised to see the message was from Alexis.

'How is it going with my dad?' The girl had typed.

'Alright I guess.' Beckett replied. 'Probably better than I expected, but could always improve.' She knew she didn't deserve Castle's forgiveness but that didn't mean she didn't want it. Today had been brilliant, he'd reminded her of the man she had fallen in love with and words couldn't describe how amazing it felt to have that man back again. Kissing him had been spur of the moment, but at least he hadn't thrown her out. In fact, he'd sounded almost disappointed when she left..perhaps she was getting through to him.

Suddenly wide awake, she picked her cell back up and dialled Lanie's number.

"Hey girl," Lanie answered on the third ring. "How's things going in your world?"

"Okay," Beckett replied non commitedly. "He hasn't actually chucked me out yet, so I guess that's a start."

"So you've seen him then?"

"Yeah..first time wasn't so great but I think we argued everything out and then this morning I just showed up with coffee and pretty much demanded he show me around the city." She had been a little forceful this morning but hey, it had worked, hadn't it?

"Oh Kate," Lanie breathed, the joy evident across the speaker. "That's brilliant, I'm so glad you're making progress!"

"Yeah well, there's a long way to go yet," Beckett muttered. "He invited me to stay for dinner tonight and then proceeded to tell me that 'it's not like that anymore'." She put on a stupid voice for the final five words, letting Lanie know she was quoting the man himself.

"Oh honey," Lanie soothed sympathetically. "But you're friends again, right?"

"Yeah I think so," Kate said. They were friends, weren't they? "I uh..might have kissed him when he said that, though.."

Beckett wasn't surprised to hear Lanie laugh at that final comment, so very like her. "You get him, girl," she chortled. "Have you told him how you feel yet?"

"Not yet," Kate sighed. "I just..I need him to know I mean it." It was stupid, all she had to do was put together three little words, just eight letters, but it was a lot easier said than done. "I can't just say it, not yet..I want him to believe me and not just think I'm saying it to get him to forgive me. Is that stupid?"

"No honey, it's not stupid," Lanie reassured. "And I think you're probably right..he needs to learn to trust you again and saying it too soon could ruin everything."

Beckett breathed a sigh of relief. She'd been keeping that to herself since she first came to LA to find him, but it really was a huge weight off of her shoulders to hear Lanie say she was making the right choice.

"Thank you, Lanie," Beckett said. "And I promise I'll give you a call soon, okay?"

"Too right you will!" Lanie said, before cutting off the call and leaving Beckett to sleep.

Where Beckett was quickly falling fast asleep, Castle was the complete opposite. His brain was addled with thoughts and comments and images of his day with Beckett and just didn't seem capable of stopping and allowing him to get some rest.

But for all he knew, Beckett was on a plane back to New York, giving up on him when she realised he wasn't interested anymore. That was what he had said he wanted all along, ever since she'd arrived he'd been trying to get her to leave, saying it wasn't like that anymore and that they weren't getting together..so why did the thought of her giving up and going home fill him with dread?

Realising he wasn't dozing off anytime soon, he retrieved his cell phone from the bedside table and brought up his daughters number. Hitting dial, he waited for her to answer, hoping she hadn't called it quits earlier than usual and gone to bed already.

"Dad?" She answered, sounding worried. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine, Pumpkin," he reassured. "Just wanted to talk to my favourite daughter before I went to bed, that's all."

"Dad, I'm your only daughter," she reminded and he could practically see her rolling her eyes at him right now.

"Doesn't mean you're not my favourite," he argued back. "So, how's school going?"

"It's going great, actually," Alexis gushed. "I've made some great friends already and the classes I've already started are going well, I'm so glad I came here, it was definitely the best decision."

"I'm glad, Pumpkin," he smiled. "You know I only want what's best for you."

"I know, dad," she replied. "And I want the best for you, too." She hesitated before speaking again. "Have you seen detective Beckett yet?" She asked hesitantly.

"Good job she told me how she got my address, hey?" He teased. "Yeah, I've seen her."

"And?" Alexis pressed.

What did he say? That they'd argued and fought and said things they didn't mean but then today had gone out together, exploring the city and eating ice cream on the beach. "I guess you could say we're friends again," he admitted finally.

"Well that's good, isn't it?" His daughter asked.

"Yeah.." Castle replied. "Just..that's all we're ever going to be, friends." Twice in one day he was having this conversation, but he knew the majority of his daughters thoughts, he didn't want her getting her hopes up either.

"Dad, she flew three thousand miles to see you," Alexis pointed out. "Surely that counts for something?"

It did. It meant a hell of a lot that she'd done that but it didn't erase what she'd done already. "It's complicated, Alexis," he sighed wearily.

"And I'm a kid, I wouldn't understand," Alexis sneered.

"That's not what I said, Alexis," Castle warned. "I'm just saying, there's a lot you don't know about my relationship with Beckett and that's why it's complicated, okay?"

"Fine," she relented. "Just..don't give up too soon, okay? Because Beckett didn't."

His daughters final words did nothing to help him sleep, perhaps Gina would get her chapter after all..

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