Chapter 5:
It was like a song stuck in your head on repeat, that plays over and over again while you dream.
Charlie didn't know where she was, she barely knew who she was, she just knew she had to fight. One man approached her and she surprised him. She pressed her fingers against his eyes and she felt the resistance before there was a pop and squish, loud screams filled her ears. Only here, instead of blood and eye membrane, insects poured out of his sockets up and over her hands.
She turned to run away and another man grabbed her and threw her to the ground. She tried to fight him off, but didn't have anything. Finally desperate, she leaned up and bit out his jugular. Hot blood poured down her throat as the man rolled off her gurgling. She tried to spit the blood out, but it felt like it was congealing in the back of her throat. She coughed violently to bring it up and spit out insects. She grabbed at her own throat as she coughed even more trying to bring them up. She knew what would happen next. She was going to suffocate. They were going to crawl into her lungs and kill her. She saw them coming for her. They were all around her. She tried to scream but couldn't since they were entering her lungs…..
"CHARLIE!" A voice yelled. "CHARLIE, it's a nightmare. WAKE UP!"
She sat up straight. She still didn't know where she was or who was yelling at her. She immediately recognized it wasn't Bass, but someone was holding her shoulders and she started struggling against them.
"Charlie, stop!" The voice yelled. It sounded familiar, but she couldn't focus her eyes and the hands were still holding her. She struggled harder. Where was Bass? "Charlie, it's me. Miles!" She slowed her struggles a bit as her brain matched the voice to the image of Miles in her head. She looked around desperately trying to get her eyes to focus. She saw colors, shapes, but it was all blurry. Panicked noises were escaping her and she renewed her struggles.
"Charlie, you have to calm down. You'll rip the IV's out!" The hands tried to push her back down. "Somebody get me a sedative!" The voice yelled.
"Noooo!" She yelled and started fighting more furiously. She was so weak she couldn't get the hands off of her. Why couldn't she get away?
"What the hell…." The voice said and the hands were gone.
"Charlie!" She froze. It was Bass. "Charlie, its ok. We're safe. We're with Texas. We're with Miles. It's going to be ok." She closed her eyes and breathed rapidly. She opened them again and stared up. After several moments her eyes began to focus and she saw that it was Bass sitting over her. She focused on his eyes. "It's ok. Breathe." He told her and she followed his instruction. She could feel the terror inside of her, just coiled ready to spring, but she forced herself to focus on his eyes and his words until the shaking stopped. He slowly reached down and brushed some hair out of her eyes and she almost laughed when she realized that was why her vision was still blurry. Things came into focus and she looked behind him to see Miles standing there with a medic behind him holding a syringe.
She shook her head. "Don't sedate me." Her voice came out dry and cracked.
"They're not going to." Bass assured her. "You just need to calm down so you don't hurt yourself." He picked up her arm and showed her where there was an IV line going in.
She nodded in understanding. She felt Bass relax a bit and sit back. Miles knelt down in front of her. He looked between the two of them.
"You look like shit." She told Miles weakly. And he did. There were dark circles under his eyes, like he hadn't slept in a week. It was obvious to tell he was worried and extremely stressed out, but he let out a small laugh at her comment.
"You should be glad we don't have a mirror." He commented. "How do you feel?"
Charlie lay there for a minute taking stock. Everything hurt. She could feel every bruise and could tell them where every punch had landed during her fight with the New Orleans Champion. She didn't think her ribs were broken or even cracked, but they were definitely sore.
"I've felt better." She said.
"Really?" Miles gave her another weak smile. "I guess so." He looked from Bass to her again. "You wouldn't have made it another day out there. As it is, you're lucky that the one Patriot boat we didn't blow up was their medical ship. Without the IV's I don't know if we could have brought you both back."
She glanced back towards Bass. He was a great deal thinner and he had cuts and bruises all over him. There were also dark circles under his eyes, that were sunken into his head and she could see the IV setup behind him trailing to his arm. He looked weaker than she had ever seen him, weaker than when they brought him back from the dead. He met her eyes and she searched them, still not fully believing this was real. His look was calm and steady and she felt the last bit of fear inside of her break apart as she relaxed fully back onto the cot she was lying on.
Miles spoke again. "You both need more rest."
Charlie felt the fear stab through her again as she remembered her dreams. "I can't…I don't want…"
Bass spoke up and she felt him run his hand over her head soothingly. "It's ok. We'll be right here. We'll wake you up if you start to get upset."
She looked up at him again.
"I promise." He told her.
She nodded. In truth, she was fighting to keep her eyes open. She felt dizzy and weak.
"It's ok." His voice followed her as her eyes drifted closed. "We're not going to leave you."
With that she was back asleep.
Miles stared at him. "What the hell was that? What the hell happened down there Bass?"
"It was bad, Miles."
"How bad?"
"As bad as we've ever seen." Bass told him. He looked back towards Charlie. He was still lightly stroking her head. "She did good. She did better than good, but she's going to need help now."
Miles looked at his niece. He had seen her frightened and in pain before, but never on this level. "Did…" He stopped, afraid to voice his fear. "Did they…?"
Bass looked back him. "No. They tried, but she fought them off; killed three of their guys with her bare hands." Bass let out a noise that sounded like a sigh and a humorless laugh. "She bit a guy's throat out."
"Jesus."
"Yah." Bass looked back at her. "But she never cracked. She held it together."
Miles let out a big sigh. "It's easier to do when you are worried about surviving."
"I know. That's why she's going to need help now." Bass said. He could feel Miles' stare, but he focused on the small woman lying in front of him. Her entire face was covered in bruises and cuts. They had her wrapped in a sheet because her clothes were soaked with blood and filth, but he could see the bruises on her arms and shoulder as well. She had a rash, probably from the starvation combined with the mosquito and insect bites. Her eyes were sunken into her head from the dehydration. Plus she had lost weight while they were out there. He knew she would recover physically. He was worried about her mental state. He was concerned the light and optimism she carried within her, even while professing hopelessness, would be gone forever.
Miles stood up. "You get some rest too. As soon as you are both able, I want a full report of what went on down there." Bass nodded, but stayed focused on Charlie. So far, she seemed to be sleeping peacefully, but he promised her, he'd watch. "I mean it, get some rest." Miles said again.
"Were they here?" Bass asked him quietly, tentatively.
"Were who here?" Miles returned.
"The bugs." Miles eyes widened. "They came into the city. They were millions of them. They covered everything, they killed people."
"No, but we've had reports they've hit most of the population centers."
Bass looked up at him. "What was that, Miles?"
Miles looked away and shook his head. "I need you to get some rest. There's a lot we need to go over." Bass stared at him. Miles waited for him to get angry as he always did, demand answers. But he just nodded.
Miles looked back and forth between his former best friend and his niece feeling dread. Whatever happened to them both in the two weeks seemed to have had a powerful effect on them. He didn't know if it was just shock from what had happened or more lasting. Given Bass' comments, he was afraid it was more lasting. Internally, Miles cursed himself for not getting to them sooner, but right now there was so much to be done. He needed to let them rest because he was about at his wits end and needed their help. He turned to leave, but turned back. Bass was still watching over her lightly stroking her hair.
"Thank you." He told Monroe. "Thank you for going in after her, for being there for her."
Bass made a sound and shook his head. "I couldn't leave her in there alone." He all but whispered.
Miles felt a bit of concern at the look on his face and the tone of his voice, but he quickly chalked it up to whatever experience they just went through together. Whatever was between them, it wasn't anything more than that.
4 days before
Charlie and Bass had skirted the shores of the lake trying to avoid the Patriot ships and patrols. Although Miles had appeared to have cleaned out most of them, there were still some ships out there. They headed west hoping to follow the shore line back around to the North to dry land and their own troops. They traveled mainly at night and found shady spots to hole up during the day. There were frequent rain showers they used to try and gather water, but it was never enough and they were extremely dehydrated. Both of their bodies had gone into starvation mode, from the lack of food and every day it had gotten harder and harder to make any distance.
The finally made landfall and had left the boat behind. Bass wasn't certain they were in the right vicinity to find their troops, but he knew they weren't going to make it much longer in that boat. They tried to be quiet as they moved through the swampy forest, but they stumbled along and he was certain that even a deaf soldier could hear them coming. Charlie was swaying on her feet and he knew that she wasn't going to be able to keep going for much longer.
The last time they had stopped to rest, the day before, they found a hollowed out log and both of them had curled up in it and slept. He knew neither one of them had the energy to stay awake for a watch, so he made sure they were as secure as possible and they both slept. Several times she woke him up with her sounds of panic in her sleep, he held her and whispered to her that they were safe until she would calm and go back to sleep. The last time she woke him he realized they had slept most of the day and the night. He made her get up and they started moving. He knew that if they stopped again, chances were they weren't going to get up.
She could barely walk by this point and was staggering. He had one arm around her and the other carried his sword as they tried to navigate through the shallower parts of the water, while he tried to watch for snakes and alligators.
"Bass." She whispered. Her lips were dry and cracked. "I can't. I can't."
"Yes, you can." He told her, as firmly as he could. "You can do this."
"No…I…" Her eyes rolled up in her head and she started to fall. He cursed and dropped the sword and grabbed her to him to keep her from hitting the ground.
"Charlie?" He said. "Charlie!" It hurt his throat to talk that loud. He shook her, but she was not coming back around. He picked her up and didn't bother trying to pick up the sword again, but started moving again, as quickly as he was able. He knew she wasn't going to last long and he had to find help.
Austin, TX
"I see a bad moon arisin'
I see trouble on the way
I see earthquakes and lightnin'
I see bad times today"
Rachel made her way into the prison. She could hear the president singing ahead of her arrival. They had told her he had been singing this song since the insects had invaded the city.
"Don't go around tonight
Well, it's bound to take your life
There's a bad moon on the rise"
He grinned maniacally when he saw her, but didn't pause in his singing.
"I hear hurricanes ablowin'
I know the end is comin' soon
I fear rivers overflowin'
I hear the voice of rage and ruin"
"Enough." Rachel told him. "You aren't scaring anyone."
He stopped singing and laughed. "Oh, but we are. Aren't we, Rachel? Are you saying we didn't 'bug' you?"
"It was a parlor trick, nothing more. What did you hope to gain with that?" She asked.
"What DID we gain with that?" He countered. "And I'll tell you since you asked soooo politely…." Again he laughed. "We gained new recruits. We gained further influence." He leaned towards her and spoke conspiratorial. "See, one of the things we learned about you is when you are afraid, you are very malleable. You'll abandon everything when afraid; your friends, your loved ones, your ideals, your morals. You become so susceptible to influence, which leaves the door wide open for us to walk in."
"Not all of us." Rachel asserted.
"Enough that the few who aren't susceptible won't make a difference."
Rachel smiled at him. "That's where you're wrong. You are underestimating us. People who fight through their fear and stand up for what's right are stronger than those that are easily led."
The president lost his smile. "Perhaps. But what if those who are easily influenced are no longer alone, but have the backing of something powerful like the nano? What then? Do you really think a few survivors can stand up to them? Right now, as we speak, a new power is rising up in Washington; a new power that with our help will run right across this country. And they aren't the only ones. You need to look behind you as well."
This time it was Rachel who laughed. "In your arrogance, you are giving things away. You are giving me information." She taunted him. "You've all but admitted you need us afraid to influence us and you've told me you are massing an army within the Patriots. You may think humans are weak, but you are learning our weaknesses by using them. You'd be better off using our strengths."
He laughed. "Oh Rachel, they love your optimism. They don't mind telling you what's coming. They aren't afraid of you. There is nothing you can do to stop this. Soon you will see, they are the future. Humans don't need to live in fear. They don't need to hurt each other. What we are doing is improving them. We make them better. Someday you will want to become one of us."
She scoffed. "I don't think that will ever happen. And if they are so powerful, then why don't they come assimilate us? Why do they use tricks and fear? They've shown they could set us on fire, manipulate us, and make us see things. Why haven't they done that?"
"Because Rachel, all children want their parents love." He said slowly. "And in the cases they can't have that love; they want the acknowledgement of their accomplishments." He shook his head and smiled at her sadly. "You refuse to recognize our power, but we will show you. We will show you, and Aaron and Priscilla exactly how important we are and how much power we have. Some day you will bow to us and tell us that we are right, that we are superior to you and you will have pride in what you created. Pride in us." The last sentence came out in a hissed whisper.
"No, we won't." Rachel told him.
He smiled.
"Hope you got your things together
Hope you are quite prepared to die
Looks like we're in for nasty weather
One eye is taken for an eye"
He started singing again. Rachel turned and walked away. His voice followed her out.
"Well, don't go around tonight
Well, it's bound to take your life
There's a bad moon on the rise"
Aaron waited for her at the entrance to the jail.
"Anything?" He asked.
"I don't know." She sighed. "He basically confirmed what we suspected that people who are afraid are more susceptible. He also said that whoever is in charge in Washington is under their influence and we can also expect trouble from behind us, as well."
"And why would he tell you all of that?" Aaron asked.
"He said because we aren't any threat. He said they want us to see how powerful they are and be proud of what we created."
"Oh, that sounds reasonable." Aaron shook his head and looked around. "What are we going to do here? We are no closer to finding any answers than we were when we started." He whispered.
Rachel looked at him. "Well considering they are everywhere, whispering isn't going to do much." She commented. "Have you and Priscilla had any luck looking over the code?"
"Luck with what? Even if we found a weakness we could exploit we have no way to alter it."
"Well, our other option is to give up. Is that what you want to do? Maybe we should just go and ask them to assimilate us."
They began to walk back to the University. Aaron suddenly spoke up. "Why do you think people who are afraid are more susceptible?" He asked.
"I don't think it's just people who are afraid. I think its people who are more combative. People who are hungry or give in to their base urges more often."
"Why do you say that?"
Rachel looked at him and slowed. "You said they were altering people by changing their limbic system, right?"
"That's what they said when they were in Priscilla."
"The limbic system controls base urges."
"Ok, but what does that have to do with who is more susceptible."
"The nano were designed to feed off of electricity and replicate. By now, there can't be that much electricity to feed off of. However, the human brain does have electrical charges in it."
"So they are feeding off of our brains?" Aaron exclaimed.
"It would make sense."
"Ok, but I still don't understand why they want people to be afraid." Rachel considered.
"They woke up when the bombs dropped. After that, people were afraid and angry. The most active part of the brain would have been the limbic system, so that is where they would find their food. However, a study was done showing that electrical charges in the amygdale created aggression."
"So, if they were feeding off that part of the brain, they were also creating more fear and aggression in the process?"
Rachel nodded. "That would also explain why they believe humans are mainly only capable of fear and hate, because that's what they know. They seem to be very childlike, unable to understand the complexities of human emotions." She said. "Unfortunately, they've learned that humans who are afraid and angry are more likely to be led or want to believe the lies they offer them, giving them control over them."
"So they sent in the waves of insects to make people more afraid." Aaron concluded.
"Thereby increasing their numbers."
Aaron looked around. Austin was a very different place than it had been last week before the insect invasion. Some buildings still smoldered from where they caught fire as people tried to escape the onslaught and accidentally knocked over lanterns. Or in some cases the insects themselves knocked them over. People were trampled in the streets trying to get away from them. People were walking around with their faces covered, in case the insects returned.
As he watched the city, as they made their way back, Aaron realized the nano weren't going to have to do much to convince most of these people to accept their way of life.
He fought down the wave of hopelessness that threatened to overwhelm him. They finally reached the university and Priscilla walked up to meet them.
"Anything?" She asked.
"Nothing good." Aaron told her. She looked worried, but offered him a small smile and reached out to take his hand. He felt his despair lift a bit.
He turned and looked at Rachel. "What about love?"
Both she and Priscilla stared at him.
Shreveport, LA
Several days later
Miles, Charlie and Bass sat in Miles' tent. Charlie and Bass were off of the IV's, but neither was anywhere near up to top condition. Miles knew that Charlie was still struggling and not sleeping well. He found Bass by her cot more than he was in his own. The disquiet he felt over that situation was growing, but he kept insisting to himself that after what they had been through, it was only natural they were drawn to each other.
Miles had called them in, and asked them to tell exactly what had happened in New Orleans. Bass had given him the bare bones of the story, but gave no indication of what had occurred to bring about the change in him. Even now, Miles could see he was much calmer and more introspective. He didn't give any details about Charlie's ordeal before he got there, because he didn't really have any. All he knew was what the King had told him. When Bass finished with the insects and their escape, Miles looked at Charlie.
"Well?" He asked her.
She stared at him; her face was set in stone. "Well, what?"
"What happened before Bass got there?"
"He told you."
"No, he told me what the King told him. I'm asking you to tell me what happened."
Her face got even harder. "They tried to make me part of their harem and I killed the men who tried. That's it."
"That's it? That's all? That's what's got you crying in your sleep at night? That's why he hasn't left your side since he woke up? Because you killed a few guys?" Miles gave her a sharp look. "I want you to tell me what happened."
Charlie looked over at Bass. But he shook his head. "You need to talk about it. You need to get it out." He told her. Charlie looked away angrily and felt tears burn in her eyes.
"Charlie." Miles tone was a command.
"Fine!" She snapped. She looked back at him. "They brought me into the city and took me right to where they kept the women. At first, I was so disgusted by all of them. They just simpered and did whatever they were told. The men laughed at me and said I was going to be just like them soon. I told them it would never happen, and then I saw what they were doing to make them like that." She closed her eyes and swallowed. "They starved them, they beat them, and they raped them. They took away their names and any semblance of self that they had. They tortured and brain washed them." She felt a tear slip over one cheek and wiped it away angrily. "One of the women was supposed to be my guide, to teach me how to behave. She said her name was 'Pearl', but that was the name they gave her. She had scars all over her face. The men told me she tried to fight them and learned the hard way what came of that."
Charlie began to shake. She took several deep breaths. "I was supposed to put on these clothes they brought me. It was my first 'step'. I refused. So they sent in two men to put me in the clothes. They were going to beat and rape me, make sure I understood who was in charge. I managed to strangle one of them, but the other one….I couldn't….I didn't have anything else." Her eyes closed again. "I felt his eyes pop under my thumbs." She started to break down, crying.
Both Bass and Miles wanted to comfort her, but they also both knew she had to get it all out first. She had to vocalize what had happened and what she had done for her healing to begin. There still wouldn't be any guarantees that she could completely heal, but until she talked about it, there was no hope.
"Another guard came in. He threw me. I couldn't stop him. He beat me and he was going to rape me. He was holding me down and I couldn't get him off. He had my hands locked above my head. The only thing I could do, the only thing I could think to do was to bite his throat out." She was sobbing now. "The other guards came in, but they had enough fear of me that they just put me in chains and beat me. They wouldn't give me water and all I could do was taste his blood in my mouth. I thought it was over. I never expected Bass to show up. I thought I was just going to wind up brain washed and one of those women. I couldn't wind up like. I couldn't be one of them." She opened her eyes back up, but wouldn't look at either of the men in the tent. "The first chance I got, I tried to bite through my own wrists, but I wasn't alone and they caught me. I fought them. I fought so hard, but before I knew I had a metal collar around my throat and my arms were chained behind my back. They put me in a room. I don't know how long I was there. It was dark and I was alone and all I could think was that by the time anyone found me, I'd be some simpering whore eager to please, who didn't even know her own name." She finally met Miles' eyes. "I just couldn't do that. I couldn't lose myself like that. I would rather die."
"It's ok." Miles told her gently.
"Its not ok." Charlie yelled. "I go to sleep now and I can feel the eyes popping under my fingers. I can taste the blood. They didn't touch me, but I still feel broken. What I did…."
"Was what you need to do to survive." Bass interrupted her. She looked at him and fresh tears welled up in her eyes. "What you had to do was horrible, but the alternative was even worse." He told her.
"Bass is right, Charlie. I know that killing men like that is so different from a gun or knife or sword." Miles sighed. "It's more intimate. It's almost impossible to step back from that. And it will stay with you, but you did what you had to do."
Miles got up and knelt down in front of her. "Charlie, you are so strong and you can get through this, but it's going to be rough."
"I don't feel strong, I feel so weak letting it affect me like this."
"You aren't weak." Bass spoke up. "I fell apart the first time I had to break a man's neck, even though it was a kill or be killed situation." She looked at him in surprise. "Fortunately, your uncle got me off my ass before I got it shot off."
"The first time I killed someone with my hands I had to strangle him." Miles added. "I had to stare in his eyes until he was dead. I threw up immediately afterwards and could see his eyes for months after."
Charlie stared at him.
"We've both been there. We understand. If you need to talk, you can come to either of us." Miles stared at her. "You hearing me?" He asked. "Because if you decided to be a stubborn dumbass and bottle this shit up, it will eat at you like a poison." Charlie nodded.
Miles glanced over at Bass and knew he was thinking the same thing. She was agreeing with them, but she wasn't really hearing them. They were going to have to keep a close eye on her. Miles had seen men lose themselves over the guilt and self hatred about actions like these and he didn't want to see Charlie get lost like that. Hell, Bass got lost after Shelly died.
Miles sighed knowing there was nothing else to be said right now.
"All right. Well, while you two were off having adventures, there have been quite a few developments around here." He went back around the desk. "How much do you two know about the nanotech Rachel and Aaron created?"
Outside of El Paso, TX
Connor looked around at the tent city that had sprung up around them. Every day more and more people were arriving. Tom Neville stood next to him with a huge grin on his face. Connor thought he looked even creepier when he smiled.
"Look at this. Not even the great General Sebastian Monroe could have gotten this many followers in such a short amount of time." He all but crowed.
Connor shot him a glance. "Yah, but most of them aren't soldiers. We'll have our work cut out for us, training them."
"Oh, don't worry. We're going to have help with that." Neville promised him.
"Yeah, that's what you keep saying and then you stop and hold a conversation with people who aren't really there." Connor stated.
Neville turned to him sharply. "Do you doubt me?" He snapped. "Do you doubt the powers that are helping us?"
"You told me we were going to recapture the President and head to D.C., and then you brought us to the edge of nowhere in this desert. You told me we were going to be the leaders of the Eastern seaboard, but all we seem to be doing is running an asylum for lunatics who talk to themselves, or act like weird acolytes." Connor scoffed. "I should have just let them sell Monroe when I was in Mexico. I could have been in charge of the cartel by now."
"Boy, you think too small. By the time we're done, not only will we be running the entire United States, but the entire world."
"Right." Connor said slowly. "All starting with a band of schizophrenics here in the desert." He shook his head. "What is up with that? Are you all eating the local mushrooms, or something?"
Neville got his grin back. "You mean you haven't seen anyone from your past? You haven't had loved ones who are gone, that have come back to see you and talk to you?"
Connor looked uncomfortable. There had been that night, right outside of Austin when he saw his mother, but he had chalked that up to alcohol and just a crazy dream of some sort.
"We have been chosen." Neville told him. "We are starting the fight to reclaim humanity and bring it to a level of glory that it has never seen. And once we have achieved our goal, we shall rule over everything."
Connor sighed. It was the same speech over and over. One thing he had learned in the past few months was you can't argue with crazy. He had to find a way out of here, without them suspecting. The question was, where could he head? Back to Mexico was out of the question. Maybe he should set out on his own, head to California.
He saw Neville's eyes focus on something behind him and knew he was seeing imaginary friends or family again.
"Great." He said; as he slowly slid to the side to get out of the man's line of sight. "I'm going to go check on how we are doing with food and supplies with all these new recruits. I'll let you confer with your advisors."
But Neville paid him no mind as he slipped away.
Connor walked through the tents. He had noticed a few days ago, there was a definite separation of people here. There were the ones who had been struck by the religion bug. They had a light in their eyes that practically glowed their fanaticism. The others were lawless. They lived hard and violently.
Most of the new arrivals came telling tales of swarms of insects invading the cities. They spoke of the end times and the last plagues visited on man before the Apocalypse. Some of the people claimed they were horribly hurt in the chaos of the cities, but were miraculously cured by some higher power. Connor shook his head. He needed to get away from the crazy people.
Just then, up ahead, he saw a familiar face. Nunez. Connor stopped and stared. It couldn't be.
But the more he looked the more certain he became. Connor picked up his pace and walked up to the man quickly.
"What are you doing here?" He asked, with open hostility, in Spanish.
"Connor!" The old man's face brightened with a smile. "Finally, I've found you!"
"What, so you can try to kill me again?"
"Oh, Connor. I'm so sorry about that." He shook his head sadly. "I let my anger and my fear and, quite honestly, my jealousy get the best of me. I saw you wanting to help your father and all I could think was that you were going to leave me for him, after everything I had done. I'm an old man, who's lived a very hard violent life. I reacted in the only way I knew how. Believe me; I have regretted it every day since then."
"You expect me to believe that?" Connor scoffed.
"Why else would I be here, with all of these people? I'm here to find you." The cartel leader looked at him. "I went to Austin. I heard your father was leading troops from there, I figured you'd be by his side. I was surprised to learn, he had a young girl with him instead."
Connor looked away.
"Did the two of you have a falling out?" Nunez asked. "Was it over the young woman?"
Connor laughed. "No, no Charlie is all right. She's actually the niece of Matheson. She hates my dad." He sighed. "No, my dad just cared more about his relationship with Matheson than he did about keeping his promises to me." It felt so good to see someone familiar, even though the man had tried to kill him, he had been there for him for many years. "He wanted to run into these crazy situations we couldn't win and he kept forgiving that idiot Miles for screwing him over. At the end, we could have had everything he promised me. We could have just walked into Washington and taken over, but he chose Miles over me. So I got out of there."
"I'm sorry, but don't be too hard on him. We do our best."
In the distance, Tom Neville stared at Connor. The boy stood on the corner of the tent city talking to no one.
"See, we just had to find the right ingredient." Jason, who was standing next to him, commented.
"He'll fall in line now?" Tom asked.
"I'm not sure it's his role to fall in line. We may have other plans for him."
Shreveport, LA
"Jesus Christ, Miles!" Bass exclaimed.
"I know." Miles said.
"You know? YOU KNOW?" Bass shook his head. "What the hell are we supposed to do with this? How in the hell do we fight microscopic computers that are everywhere?"
Miles sighed. "Rachel and Aaron are working on it. They've taken over the University in Austin and they have a team of people working with them now."
Bass snorted. "Apparently, they're making great headway considering the march of the creepy crawlies."
"We need to head back to Austin." Charlie spoke up. It was the first time she had spoken since Miles had explained what the nano had been up to. "We can't go on to Washington, not knowing what we're going to be facing there."
"That was my thought, but I wanted to get your input before making the decision." He looked at Bass, waiting.
Bass nodded. "Yeah, I agree. We don't want to head to Washington only to face an army of ticks." Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Charlie shiver and close her eyes momentarily to regain control over her fears.
"Ok then, we'll head back the day after tomorrow. That'll give you both another day of rest. Hopefully, you'll be back to fighting speed by the time we reach Austin."
"Has there been any word from my mom or Aaron since the insect attack?" Charlie asked.
"Not yet, but it usually takes close to a week to get news."
"If that's it, I'm going to turn in." Charlie said. "I'm kind of tired."
Miles studied her. "Yeah. You need your rest. At least you can get a better night's sleep in your own tent, instead of the med tent."
She nodded and stood up to leave.
Miles stopped her.
"Charlie, I meant what I said, if you need to talk, we've both been there."
"Thanks." Was all she said, but she didn't look back as she left.
Miles sighed.
"That went well." He commented.
Bass didn't say anything, lost in his thoughts.
"What happened to you down there?" Miles asked.
"What do you mean?"
"What do I mean? I mean this whole calm and collected thing; the whole not jumping up in a rage about all of this, the whole listening before reacting. Very unlike you."
Bass looked at the ground. "Maybe I finally saw what everyone else did." He said quietly.
"What the hell does that mean?"
"It means that I had no business leading anything. I was soldier and all I did was react out of fear. At first, I thought I was helping people, or at least I told myself I was, but all I cared about was myself." He looked up at Miles with a sad smile. "And those that were close to me. But I was out of control. You were right to hide Connor from me."
Miles looked at him suspiciously. "You haven't been talking to dead people, have you?"
Bass gave a small laugh. "Not about this."
"So you have seen them too?"
Bass didn't speak for a long time.
"Maybe."
3 days before
All he had to do was put one foot in front of the other.
One.
Two.
He stumbled and almost dropped Charlie, but quickly regained his balance. She murmured lightly, but other than that, didn't stir. He knew he was running out of time, for both of them now. He didn't stop at all since she lost consciousness, the only thing he knew was moving forward. He had to get them help.
"You're going to help someone? That's funny." Bass looked up started at the voice.
"Emma?" He croaked out.
"What are you doing?" He could see her standing there, clear as day in front of him.
"Great. I'm hallucinating." He muttered.
"What are you doing?" She asked again.
He didn't answer her.
"You know you can't save the both of you. Your best bet is to leave her. She's not going to wake up again. She won't even know."
He unconsciously held Charlie tighter to him and kept walking.
One foot.
The other foot.
"You didn't save me." Emma reminded him. "I pleaded with you to remember who you were and you got me killed. Now you've abandoned our son to help Miles and his niece and its going to get you killed. Do you really want your last interaction with Connor to be him stepping out of the way so you could be shot?"
"You aren't real." Bass growled. "This is the hunger and the thirst."
"Whether or not I'm real, does that make it any less true?" She insisted. "You put her down and you walk away and you have a chance. You go find your son and you can have everything you ever wanted. Together the two of you could rule the entire country."
"Shut up." He said.
One step.
He stumbled.
"You won't make it much farther." Another voice suddenly spoke up. Bass looked up startled.
"Shelly?" He closed his eyes in pain. "No, please, not this."
"How could you do all those things after I died?" She asked. There were tears in her eyes. "Who did you become?"
"Stop, just stop."
"And now, you are going die, here in a swamp without even trying to make amends. You are taking the easy way out." She said.
"No, I'm doing the right thing."
There was a laugh. "The right thing? Please, you wouldn't know what the right thing was if it fell out of the sky and hit you on the head." Bass looked and saw Jeremy standing there. "You're doing this because you have feelings for the girl."
Bass shook his head.
"Oh please, if this is a hallucination it's coming from your brain and you're still going to deny it?" He scoffed. "You have feelings for Miles' niece. Your best friend's niece. She's even younger than your son! Hell, she was sleeping with your son. How sick is that?" Jeremy got close to him. Bass swore, he could actually smell his breath, it smelled like whiskey. "I'd say this is about the farthest thing from 'right' you can get. I'll tell you what, if you want to do the right thing, you'll let her go and keep moving. You could get everything you wanted. You can find your son, restore the republic, and make amends. Just put her down."
Bass stood there swaying on his feet. He closed his eyes trying to will the apparitions away.
"You know that if you don't give her up, she'll wind up dead, just like us." Emma's voice chimed in.
"Has there been anyone you loved that hasn't died horribly?" Shelly's voice sounded out.
"Right now, Connor could be hurt or dying and you'll never know because you're going to die here for this silly infatuation."
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Bass screamed out into the swamp.
Silence answered him. He opened his eyes and saw…nothing. He took several deep breaths and started moving again. He had no idea how long he walked. It could have been minutes, hours or days.
Then he heard noises coming from up ahead. He knew he should hide, he should wait and see who it was, but he couldn't do anything more than move forward. The noises got louder and then suddenly men erupted from the foliage. They stared at him in shock.
"General Monroe?" One of them called out.
He tried to speak, but didn't have any voice left at all. He finally saw, by their uniforms they were Texas troops. He felt relief sink into him and with that relief all of his strength left him and he fell to his knees. The men ran towards him and he felt one of them gently take Charlie from him. Once he was sure she was safe, he allowed the blackness to overtake him.
Present
Miles studied him. "I really don't know what to make of this, Bass."
"Make of what?"
"You." Miles sighed. "It all sounds really good. Everything you've done recently seems really good, but I can't just forget everything you did before."
Bass looked up at him. "And I can't forget everything you did before, Miles. Although you want to."
Miles opened his mouth to speak, but he cut him off before he could continue.
"Let me just ask you this, all that time you spent crawling out of the black pit that was 'me', did you ever stop to try and pull me out? Did you ever once come to me and tell me what you thought or how you felt? Because I sure don't remember you trying."
"You would have had me killed." Miles protested.
"You tried to kill me and I still asked you to come back. Do you really, REALLY think I would have had you killed?"
"What do you want me to say?" Miles asked.
Bass thought for a minute. "I think I want you to admit that you were wrong too. I want you to admit that you were right there with me doing all of those things and you never tried to stop me until you decided to try and kill me." Bass looked at him. "You were my brother. I idolized you. I don't know if you trying to stop me would have made things better, but wasn't it worth a shot?"
Miles stood up and walked over and poured two drinks. He came back and handed one to Bass.
"You're right." He finally said. "I was just as much to blame for what happened as you were. I didn't know how to stop it and by the time I realized how bad it was, I thought it was already too late. I did what I thought was best, but I was so far down the rabbit hole, I didn't really know which way was up."
There was silence for a while. They slowly sipped on their drinks.
"I don't know that I know which way is up, either." Bass finally said. "But I am trying here. It'd help if you gave me a chance."
"I'm trying to."
"Think there's any hope that Rachel…"
"Not a chance in hell."
"Yeah, that's what I thought."
Not far away, Charlie sat alone in her tent. She knew she needed sleep, but she was afraid to close her eyes because she knew the dreams would be waiting for her. She appreciated what Miles and Bass had told her, but she didn't think they could really help. They said they were affected the first time they had to kill someone like that, but they had been soldiers. She couldn't believe they had the nightmares and dread she felt was her constant companion now.
Even the knowledge of the nano and what they were capable of barely affected her because she was so caught up in her own fear and memories.
She could hear the camp moving around outside of her tent. Even this late, there was so much that needed to be done to keep something like this running that it was never quiet. She focused on those noises. The common sounds of every day movements; people that hadn't lived through what she had the past two weeks.
Bass probably understood better than Miles, but she knew she couldn't keep relying on him. He was becoming her crutch. The entire time they had been in the med tent, he was there whenever she woke. He made her feel safe, but she had also gotten used to waking up with him next to her in the past few weeks.
That had to stop. She needed to stay away from him to try and regain perspective. She wasn't stupid. She knew that these kinds of situations could breed a dependency, from the shared experience, but with her other confused feelings, she could not become dependent on him. She needed to stand on her own two feet and face her fears.
She stood up and started pacing. She felt so out of control. It was ridiculous. She survivedbut she just felt like they took all of her control when they forced her to kill those men like that. They took innocence from her that she could never get back and while it may not have been as bad as being raped, it was still bad.
She heard voices outside, that pulled her from her circle of thoughts.
"I wish we'd just leave that kid on the side of the road." One voice said.
"With several bullets in 'im." Came a second voice.
"If he tells me one more time, his father is going to make us pay for this…"
With a start, Charlie realized who they were talking about.
Devon.
She had completely forgotten about the boy. She had forgotten about how he left her there in the swamp to face those men alone. He probably wouldn't have made the difference between her getting captured, or not. He probably would have wound up dead.
But he left her.
What if things had been different if he tried? What if they could have held them off long enough for the others to find them?
The more she thought about it, the harder it was for her to convince herself that he probably wouldn't have made a difference.
Bass left Miles' tent. He needed sleep, but knew there would be very little of that tonight. His mind was racing with so many different thoughts; from the nano, to his conversation afterwards with Miles, to where Connor was with Neville, to Charlie and her state of mind.
He glanced over at her tent. The light was still on, but it was late and she was probably asleep. He knew he didn't need to go over there. She was probably fine and he had no business dropping by her tent this late at night.
It was almost a surprise to him when he found himself crossing across towards where she slept.
"General Monroe, she's not in there, sir."
Bass started. He felt like a teenager getting caught sneaking into his girlfriend's bedroom window. Then the words sunk in.
"Where did she go?" He asked the soldier who was obviously patrolling this area of camp.
"She went to see the prisoner, sir."
"Prisoner?" Bass didn't make the connection.
"The deserter you sent back, Sir."
"Where is he being kept?" He asked immediately.
The soldier pointed. "On the far side in an old shed."
Without another word, Bass turned and took off in the direction he'd indicated.
His stomach churned and he hoped more than anything he arrived in time.
No one stopped him or even asked why he was racing through the camp and he was thankful for that kindness. He reached the shed the soldier had indicated. He noticed there were no guards on duty. He cursed and burst in.
"Charlie, don't!" He ordered her. Charlie stood there, her gun out, standing over the boy as he lay on the ground and sobbed.
She didn't answer him; she just stared down at the boy, impassionate.
"Charlie, don't do this!" He said again.
"He didn't even try." She said. "He just left me there." There was no emotion in her voice.
"I know, but you don't want to do this." He inched closer to her
"I don't? You said you'd kill him. I even told him I'd kill him if he risked someone's life."
"I know, but if you kill him now, like this, you'll be doing it out of revenge." He inched closer still. "If you think you feel bad now, I promise you, you will feel even worse."
Charlie didn't answer, just continued to stare at him. "What might have happened if he even tried?" She asked.
Bass was close enough now. He reached out and snatched the gun out of her hands. She looked at him in surprise, but he quickly grabbed her and hurled her out the door before she could speak. Thankfully she was still weak and he took her by surprise, otherwise, he might have had a problem. As it was, he had her outside and across the grass and pushed up against a tree before she had caught her breath to yell.
"What the hell?" She demanded.
"What the hell do you think you are doing?" He roared. She was stunned at his ferocity.
"You said before we…"
He spoke over her. "After all the shit you give me about doing the right thing. Those damn judgmental looks of yours, every time I do something you deem immoral and now you want to just go shoot some kid while he's chained up? Do you really think that's going to make you feel better? Do you really think the guilt and pain will go away? Because I'll tell you first hand, it doesn't!"
Charlie looked away from him stubbornly.
"What you did in New Orleans, you had to do! It was horrible and it will stick with you for the rest of your life, but you HAD….TO…DO…IT!" He yelled. "You don't have to do this. It will destroy you. It will destroy that part of you that tries to see the best in people, even if they don't deserve it. It will kill that strength you have inside you that causes you to stand in front of a gun at overwhelming odds, just because it's the right thing." Charlie turned her face back to him and the look on her face was changing now. "I will not let that happen. Do you understand me? Not because of that worthless kid. You are worth a thousand of him." At that his anger seemed to drain out of him and he stared down at her.
For the first time he realized how close he was to her. He had his hands on her shoulders and her hands were pressing against his chest. The tree was behind her and his body was inches away from hers. She was staring up at him with her bright blue eyes opened wide and her lips parted.
For several long moments, neither of them moved. Bass kept telling himself to let her go. He needed to let her go and step back, but he couldn't. She was hurting too much and for whatever reason she was accepting what little comfort he had to offer. She sniffled and he could see the tears welling up in her eyes.
"I can't get rid of this fear." She whispered. "I can make my mind stop replaying it over and over again." The tears fell over her eyelids and coursed down her face. "It hurts so much."
Bass closed his eyes and without realizing it tightened his grip on her, he rested his forehead against hers and opened his eyes and stared into her blue eyes. "Charlie, I've never done the right thing, we both know that. I always did the weak thing, but I can promise you that won't make it better. You think it will, but it won't." He told her.
Charlie felt the fear inside of her beginning to break apart. Part of her couldn't understand how the man who was responsible for so much of the pain she had experienced in her life could be doing this, but the overwhelming part of her just wanted him to keep holding her and scaring her demons away.
"Don't give up on yourself." He continued on. "Please, don't give up on yourself. I have to believe it will get better." She closed her eyes unable to bear the intensity in his, but somehow her hands were on top of his shoulders now, holding him to her, unable to let go. She ducked her head and felt him loosed his hold as if to release her, but she tightened wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his chest. He held her gently in his arms. She knew it wasn't right, but she needed this. For whatever reason, he took away the pain and she needed it to be gone, if only for a short time.
When she went to move, Bass had immediately tried to let go, but when he felt her arms around his neck, he had wrapped his around her and held her tight. She was leaning against him now instead of the tree. All thoughts of Miles and how wrong this was had left. She was just Charlie. His second in command, the woman who he counted on, relied on and trusted; and she was in pain. He stroked her hair and whispered to her that it would be ok. She was too strong for it not to be ok. She was a good person. He kissed the top of her head, unaware of what he was doing. He just knew it felt natural, right.
Slowly, somehow things began to change. What began as an act of comfort began to take on a heat. He was aware of himself only where he ended and she began and he wanted her closer. He nuzzled her hair and breathed in her scent. Her hands were stroking the back of his neck and running through the hair that was within her fingers.
He tilted his head and ran his nose from her ear across her cheek until their lips were millimeters apart. She breathed out a sigh and he could taste her breath on his tongue. He brushed her lips with his, wanting more of her taste. He did it again and again. He could feel the pull towards her like a magnet. Each time he lingered more. He could feel her try to capture his lips but he just kept up with the light brushes, teasing her gently.
"Bass." Her voice came out in a pleading whisper and he couldn't hold back any longer. He captured her lips in a deep kiss wanting to drink down the sound of his name coming out of her like that. It was like and electrical current ran through him as he sank into her. His hands tangled in her hair and she tilted her head to give him better access to her mouth. He ran his tongue across her parted lips and felt her open her mouth wider to give him access.
Charlie had been kissed before. She had the sweet kiss from Jason and the lust filled kisses of her conquests, but nothing like this. It was sweet and passionate, comfortable and yet still set her on fire. This wasn't frantic groping racing towards a finish line. She just wanted this to continue on and on.
His hands moved down to her waist and she felt them rough and callused on her skin. She arched into him encouraging their movement without words. She let go of his neck and ran her hands across his shoulders under the over shirt he always wore over the sleeveless Tshirt. She felt his skin and his muscles under her fingers. She rubbed them lightly enjoying the way they tensed under her fingertips.
His hands moved up her waist to her rib cage pushing her shirt higher. She let out a noise between a moan and whimper. Her tongue tangled with his as he seemed to suck the noise out of her swallowing it down.
The gentle heat began to build and Charlie found herself wanting more; more skin, more contact, more Bass.
There was a loud sound of a throat clearing, that distracted her and then a voice said loudly. "General Monroe, sir!"
Bass whipped his head at the noise and his hands, pulled her shirt back down, while he made sure to cover her with his body in case there was a threat. He instinctively wanted to keep her safe. Charlie felt disoriented and bereft at the loss of contact and tried to wrap her head around what was happening.
Bass was furious at the interruption. Then his mind caught up with him and he felt embarrassment and realization course through him at the sight of the soldier standing ten feet away, studiously avoiding looking at either of them.
"What?" He barked. He let go of Charlie and stepped back.
What had he done? He was making out with Charlie, in the dark. How could he have let this happen?
"General Monroe is looking for you both, sir. He's concerned."
Bass rubbed his face with his hand to force the lingering thoughts of the softness of her skin and lips from his mind. He felt a bolt of shame run through him. She had been scared and hurting and he took advantage of her. Jesus, what kind of sick bastard was he?
"All right." He said.
"I'll go let the General know you are both fine and headed back to camp, sir." Bass finally recognized the soldier as the one who had been in the swamp with him. He had been the one who had offered to come along to free Charlie. Bass knew by his words that he wasn't going to tell anyone what he had seen, but it still didn't make it all right.
The soldier turned and walked back towards the camp. Bass looked down at Charlie. Her cheeks were flushed, but he didn't know if it was embarrassment or something else.
"I'm sorry." He told her as soon as the soldier was out of earshot. "I shouldn't have done that. It won't happen again. I'm so sorry."
He saw several different emotions flicker through her eyes, each moving so fast he couldn't identify them before she got them under control. She just nodded at him, but didn't speak.
"We should head back." He said. Part of him had wanted her to argue with him and he felt worse when she didn't. She just nodded again and turned and started walking away from him.
He felt a sharp stab of pain at what he viewed as her dismissal. He reminded himself again, how wrong this was. It didn't matter that for the first time in so long he felt feelings he thought were long since dead. It didn't matter that at the time it felt more right than anything ever had.
It…was…WRONG.
He followed her back silently. Reminding himself of this over and over. It didn't help that he could still taste her sweetness on his lips.
A/N:
Happy 4th of July to all my fellow Americans! I hope you have a safe holiday today.
So, here is chapter 5. Hopefully you all enjoyed it.
I don't have my schedule for next week, but there is a lot going in my universe. I hope to update by next weekend, but if there is a delay, please be patient. I am working on this as much as time and brain cells will allow.
Thank you so much for all the nice comments and messages. They really are wonderful and help me to push through the exhaustion and write. Although there have been times, when I've written late at night and woke up the next morning to reread and found I used the same word over and over. I think one time I used the word 'fear' 8 times in a paragraph. LOL!
As always, all mistakes are my own do to lack of beta, I hope it doesn't detract too much from the story.