A/N: rating has now changed to T, simply out of precaution. Possibly not necessary but better to be safe than sorry.

Everything else they'd talked about had gone out of the window with those three words. They'd left Castle dumbstruck, the fact that Beckett had initiated the while conversation and effectively ended it with a simple statement. She loved him? The idea sent shockwaves of pleasure up his spine, the mere thought of a woman as extraordinary as Kate Beckett falling in love with him was absurd, incredible, but absurd. It had been unexpected to day the least, of course he loved her, but hearing her say it to him had been the last thing he would have thought she'd say. Kate Beckett didn't talk about feelings and he accepted that, she was a closed off person who had walls, but it seemed that he'd knocked those walls down..

"Castle?" He heard her say. "Castle, say something, please?"

"I uh.." What did he say? He'd tell her he loved her back soon, but for now he just needed time to process what she'd said to him, it had come as that much of a shock. "Wow."

Kate breathed out a sigh of relief, along with a laugh. "You scared me for a minute there, Castle," she said to him. "I thought you'd gone into shock or something."

"Almost did," he choked out. "Never saw that coming."

Beckett rolled her eyes. "Castle, I flew three thousand miles to talk to you when you'd moved here to get over me, wasn't that enough of an indication that I'm crazy about you?"

His eyes went wide at her newest revelation and Beckett wouldn't deny that it made her feel wanted, that her simply telling him how she felt could invoke this kind of reaction from him. "Maybe I should have told you a long time ago," she joked. "You haven't been this quiet for this long since the day we met."

"Are you trying to kill me?" He gasped. He hadn't moved since she'd admitted she was in love with him, he didn't think he could move, anyway. He was half tempted to pinch himself, make sure this wasn't all a dream that he was going to wake up from any second. She was crazy about him now too? This was exactly what dreams were made of.

Beckett was a little surprised by his reaction, like she'd said, she would have thought her just being here would have told him she was in love with him, surely it shouldn't have come as this much of a shock that she'd finally mustered up the courage to say it. "Maybe I should go," she suggested. "Just to give you some space, some time to think," she added hastily at his worried expression. "I can come back over tonight or..we could go out, if you like. Just..let what I've said sink in and call me if you feel like meeting up later."

Castle didn't put up a fight at her reasoning, simply nodded slowly and sent her a small smile. Perhaps some breathing space was what he needed, a chance to let her admissions sink in without having to see her beautiful face, stricken with worry every time he looked up again. She headed to the door and opened it before looking back over her shoulder at him. "I meant what I said, Castle," she said, "all of it." And then she was gone, the door closing with a soft click behind her.

All he knew was that he needed to do one last thing before she left. Jumping out of his state of shock, Castle ran to the door and yanked it open again, calling out "Beckett, wait!" Down the hallway. Luckily, she'd not quite reached the elevator yet and stopped to turn and face him.

"What's up?" She asked, walking back towards him and meeting him in the middle.

"This," he said, before surging forwards and planting his lips on hers. It took her by surprise at first, after his shocked reaction to her expressing her feelings, she hadn't expected this. His lips were soft and supple against hers, but insistent and powerful, shooting bolts of desires straight through her. "Okay. You can go now," he gasped as he tore his lips from her, a hint of a smile tugging at his mouth.

Beckett didn't even know what to say, simply turning and walking back down the hallway, a huge grin on her face.

"Oh, Miss Beckett?" The receptionist called as Kate made to walk past. Beckett turned to look at her, waiting to see why she had been stopped. "I have a message for you, it's from a-" she paused the check the slip of paper she was holding, "Victoria Gates in New York."

Oh god, what did Gates want? Surely whatever this was it couldn't be good, right? "Thanks," Beckett muttered, taking the scrap of paper containing the message from the receptionist and studying the message for herself.

"Detective Beckett," it read, "please could you contact the 12th precinct at your earliest convenience, Captain Gates."

Beckett knew it had to be important, not even Gates would have interrupted her trip to California otherwise. Sighing deeply, Beckett trudged back to her room to call Gates and find out what was going on.

"Ah, Detective Beckett," Gates answered, obviously immediately recognising the different area code. "Thank you for calling."

Well what choice did she have? "Your message made it sound urgent," Beckett said, crossing her fingers in the hope that she wasn't needed back home just yet.

"Well, it is a little," she heard Gates say. "I really hate to do this but I'm afraid we need you back here in New York as soon as possible." To her defence, the captain actually did sound quite upset that she was having to do this.

Worst possible scenario. "I- but what about Espo and Ryan? Can't they go on without me?"

"Detectives Esposito and Ryan are more than accomplished, however Detective Karpowski has come down with the flu and we're running short." There was something in the tone in which Gates spoke that suggested to Beckett that her captain wasn't being entirely truthful, but that wasn't the biggest deal right now.

"And you absolutely have to have me back?" Beckett clarified.

"I'm afraid so, Beckett," Gates sighed. "But please know that I really am sorry to have to do this, you know I wouldn't unless I believed it to be absolutely necessary and that's also why I left a message with reception and didn't call you personally, I would never wish to make your reconciliation with Mr Castle any harder."

Beckett bit back her sarcastic retort, instead promising that she would be on the next plane back to JFK. What the hell was she going to say to Castle?

They'd literally just sorted themselves out, admitting feelings and putting the past behind them. She'd left them in a precarious place and now, instead of having the chance to prove how much he meant to her, she had to fly three thousand miles back in the opposite direction because of her stupid job. However, she knew Gates wouldn't have called unless absolutely necessary, just..she could have waited a day or two, when Beckett was more confident about her standing with Castle, now was the possibly the worst time imaginable.

Bringing up the internet on her cell, Beckett searched for flights back to New York. It was almost 11am now and there was a flight leaving LAX at 2pm that afternoon. It would be a tight call but she booked it anyway, praying for light traffic so she had the chance to speak to Castle face to face before she left.

She packed her things into her small carry on bag that she'd brought with her and hurried back out of the hotel, relieved to find the reception desk void of any other residents, giving her the chance to check out quickly. And then, it was back to her rental car and back over to Castle's. Goodness knows what he was going to say, her nerves were shot to pieces as she pictured all the possible scenarios. What if he blamed her, said she didn't have to go and that she was choosing her job over him? Oh man, this whole relationship thing was going to be a hell of a lot harder than she'd ever imagined it could be.

Beckett!" Castle asked in surprise as he opened the door to her once again. "I didn't think you were coming over until later?"

"Yeah..about that," Kate began. "Look, Castle, I'm really sorry but Captain Gates called and Karpowski is ill and apparently they really need me on this case and Espo and Ryan can't do it alone." She spat the words out quickly, hoping they didn't sound as bad that way. However from the look on Castle's face, her plan didn't work.

"I uh..okay." Was all Castle could manage. When he'd seen her standing there he thought it had been because you couldn't keep herself away, not after what she'd told him this morning but now she was dropping it all to go back to New York. "Well I guess if they need you that badly then you have to go."

"Castle," Beckett pleaded, "please don't be like that."

"Like what? Like I actually thought we might be getting somewhere until once again you put your job before me? Oh no, it's fine, Beckett, you go back home and forget about your little trip to LA."

"That's not fair, Castle," Beckett whispered. "Gates even said to me that the only reason she left a message at reception instead of calling me directly was because she didn't want to interrupt any arguments or makings up that you and I might be having. She didn't want to have to do it but from some reason they need me on this case."

How could Castle argue with that? She was New York's finest, he knew that and she had dropped everything at a moments notice to come out here and track him down before, it was only a matter of time before they couldn't cope without her. Still, he wouldn't deny that it was like a kick in the guts; he was so overwhelmed by her revelations earlier that morning and now they wouldn't even have the chance to see if it was leading anywhere, he didn't know when he'd see her again.

"It's fine, Beckett," he said quietly. "You have to go, I get it."

Beckett checked her watch, obviously torn between staying and making sure he understood or leaving in time to check in and catch her flight back home. God this was killing her, walking away from the man she loved for her job once again but Gates had sounded desperate, almost pleading with her to go back, surely there was more to it than just a difficult case that the boys needed help on? They might act like it sometimes but they weren't actually stupid, both of them were capable of running an investigation without her guidance, this particular case obviously struck a different chord.

"Castle.." She whispered, desperate for him to understand.

"I said it's fine, Beckett," he repeated, perhaps a little more harshly than was strictly necessary.

"I love you," she whispered before backing out of the door and heading down the hallway once again.

It felt like ages since she'd been on that plane heading out to California in the hope of finding Castle, but in reality, it wasn't all that long. It had been difficult at first, that was for sure, when Castle had wanted nothing to do with her but Beckett had never been more glad of her persistence than she was with this, her sticking around and not giving up when things got tough had almost got her exactly what she wished for. What she wished for right now, however, was not to have to leave him behind right when things were looking up for them. That kiss he'd given her after she'd finally admitted that she was in love with him..god, she must be stupid to leave that behind, all she really wanted to do was drag him to the nearest bedroom and not emerge for half a day.

Beckett wasn't sure when she'd even see him again and that thought tore at her heart. She loved him so much she ached with it and yet with the way they'd left things, he could clam up again, say it wasn't worth getting hurt over and she'd be back to square one, back to trying to convince him that he really was everything to her.

She wasn't even sure how much use she'd be on this case, it must be a difficult one if Gates was summoning her home with regret but Beckett wasn't going to be all there, not until she knew for sure that Castle was okay with her going back home for it. But with this difficult case and Castle still living in LA, they weren't likely to bump into each other over coffee one morning, and Beckett had to accept that that was what she had left behind.

Her heart and her head were telling her different things, her head telling her she was a fool to drop it and should have told Gates where to stick her request to come home but it was her heart she was listening to, her heart that was telling her she really was needed on this case and Gates knew that.

But the question she really wanted to know the answer to was would Castle still want her after this?

"Okay guys, this better be worth it," Beckett announced wearily as she made her way into the precinct. Her flight had landed shortly before 11pm New York time and she was shattered, all she wanted to do was curl into bed and sleep for three days. However, she had text the boys to say she'd landed and they'd responded saying that they were still at the precinct and could fill Beckett in now if she wanted. If she could stay awake, obviously.

"I wouldn't say that exactly but you'll be happy we called you back," Espo said, sliding her a steaming mug off coffee which she accepted and sipped gratefully. It wasn't as good as the coffee Castle made her but hey, it was caffeine and she was tired. "It's um..not going to be easy, Beckett."

Okay, now she was worried. First a message from her Captain asking her to come home and now the boys looking worried and anxious about having to fill her in on a case? Something was definitely going on.

"Just tell me whatever it is you've got, guys," she demanded, she was far too tired to argue with them.

"We may have a new lead on your shooting," Ryan shot out quickly.

"I..you..what?" Almost a whole year with nothing and now this?

"Yeah, and it could also link back to your mothers murder."

Holy crap this wasn't happening. "I think you better start from the beginning," Beckett said, a shaky laugh escaping as she sat down at her desk. Now this she hadn't been expecting.

And so they did, taking it turns and filling in the gaps, Esposito and Ryan explained what they'd found, starting with the break in at Montgomery's house and what had been taken, followed by the body of Orlando Costas being found and how they had proof it had been him that broke into Montgomery's. And then onto arresting the wrong suspect and ballistics telling them that whoever had killed Costas was the same person who had shot Beckett. But what was more interesting was the fact that whatever Orlando had stolen was needed by this shooter - giving them their link back to Johanna's murder.

"So..this shooter paid Costas to break into Montgomery's place, steal something and then killed him," Beckett summarised, earning a nod from the boys. "And what did he steal?"

"Photos," Espo replied. And there was someone one in particular he seemed to be looking for - we tracked him down, it's a man by the name of Mr Smith, we're going over first thing in the morning, see how he fits in with all of this."

Beckett's head was spinning. It was gone midnight, she was tired and hungry and missing Castle and the boys had just overloaded her brain with information. Information she never could have guessed she'd have."

"That's..incredible work, guys," she commended, they really had done a remarkable job. "And I am excited and a little worried by what you've uncovered but do you think we can pick this up again in the morning? I'm going to crash any second."

"Of course, Beckett," they agreed. "And uh, it's great to have you back." As much as it didn't feel right without Castle, Beckett was sort of glad to be back too. She just knew she'd feel a hell of a lot better if Castle were on board with it all.

She'd call him tomorrow, she promised herself, once she'd had a few hours sleep and time to adjust her body clock again, as well as getting back into the routine of working. It was looking to be a lot of hard work and uncovering of information but they currently had the best lead they'd had on her shooter, now all she needed was her partner back with her.

A/N: I apologise if the details around Johanna's murder are a little hazy, it's a lot harder writing it from season 4 perspective when you know all the details! I also feel many of you won't like this chapter, but please stick with me, things improve early in the next chapter, I promise!

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