THE Party

Chapter 6: Shut Up, Padfoot!

"Remus Lupin! Get your lazy arse out of that tree this instant!" I explode.

If you are wondering what I am talking about, after we finished watching James's baby pictures, all three of us were sent outside to clean the back yard. That's it? You may ask. Our punishment is the stern command of no magic and my mother and father and Mrs. Potter all sitting on the porch laughing at us and telling us spots that we missed while sipping iced tea.

About half an hour ago, we found a bunch of girls all asleep at the base of a tree. James and Sirius recognized them as the MFC. I asked what the ruddy hell it was and I was corrected with, apparently the most obvious answer in the world, The Marauder fan club! So naturally, we go to wake them up and find Remus Lupin in the higher branches of an oak tree directly above them. He is demanding he sleep the rest of his morning up there and refuses to come down for he just flung his empty beer bottle down on an unsuspecting Sirius.

"Oi! Watch it!" he yells.

A good sized rock comes shooting down and would have hit Sirius if James hadn't kicked him in the back of the knees to make him fall.

"Where did you get a rock when you're at the top of a bloody tree?" I ask. For the first time, he replies.

"Clearly Lily, you're not as popular as we, considering you're fan club only consists of two occupants. Prongs and Snivellus." He remarks quite rudely.

I pick up the rock and chuck it towards the sound of his voice.

"Ah! James! I think you dislocated my shoulder! And that's saying a lot since it hit my spine!"

"Then answer her question!" James yells while eyeing me up and down. I roll my eyes.

"Ammo." Remus states blatantly.

I blink "Why the hell d'you need-"

"Why don't you ask Flatsy Patsy over there?"

"Flatsy… What?" I look at Sirius who is smiling shamelessly and even James who, in spite of himself has a smirk on his face. Then I look at Patsy Narada who was passed out under the tree and was going out with Vince Patil. Let's just say she has an A cup.

"You boys are so immature." But, considering Patsy is in my dorm and does nothing but talk about the Marauders, I can't help but grin a little.

"Moony, get out of the tree." Sirius commands in the most stern voice I have ever heard come out of his mouth.

"Why don't you come up here and make me?" He says sweetly.

"You insolent little-"

"Sirius!" James yells causing him to flinch.

"Watch the hang over Prongs!" He yells back at his best friend.

"You guys move all these pathetic excuses for the female race." I huff and head to the base of the tree.

"Why? Where are you going?" Remus calls.

"I am going to throw another rock at you, short straw."

"That was you!? But I thought- James, he- wha- Short Straw!? Right. Cuz you all agreed that Sirius's wand was longer than mine."

"You underestimate me. Fool." I sniff and I pull myself up into the tree.

Half a minute later, I am standing comfortably on the branch under Remus's.

"Lily? Where are you? You're not seriously going to throw a rock at me right?" He says self-consciously looking behind him in search for me. I use this to my advantage by swiftly knotting his shoe laces together. Smirking to myself, I quietly move to his side.

"Hi!" I chirp. Apparently he didn't see me because he just let out the most intelligent sound I have ever heard and fell out of the tree.

Thankfully, it wasn't that far from the ground.

Unfortunately, his shoe laces were still tied. I hop to the ground with grace, having done it since I was four, and strut over to the unfortunate being who has his face stuck in an ant hill. Sirius just fell to his knees at my feet, clutching his bare stomach in laughter.

"Merlin! Lily! For the sake of Merlin's saggy left-"

"Jameson I will not tolerate language of that sort." I say with authority. He glares at me.

"If you call me that again, I swear-"

"Jameson!" I gasp, scandalized. "Don't swear! I just made myself perfectly clear to you that I do n-"

"Would you two give it a rest?! I just fell out of a damn bloody shitting tree and all the two of you can do is bicker like an old fart married couple!" Remus exclaims heatedly.

Then he attempts to stand up. "Arrgh! What in the ruddy trenches of-" he falls flat on his face again.

I smile smugly. "Oh, dear Remey-poo. Are you okay?"

James snorts and then bursts out plain guffawing. "Lily, you just made my day!"

"Oi! What's that supposed to mean?" I smirk knowingly at him. He blushes.

"Ladies and gents, this is Lily Evans after sleeping with a Marauder!"

All three of us look at Sirius as the proud grin slowly slips of his face into a mask of realization. "Alright, muhmayn!" He squeezes mine and James's necks in his arms. "Yeah, baby, yeah!"

"You smell." I wrinkle my nose.

"Can I be the Godfather?!" He puts a hand on our faces.

"The Godfather of what?" James shoves his glasses up his nose.

"Your bayyybbyy!" Sirius coos stupidly. I cringe and shake my head.

"WHAT BABY?!" Comes the ear-bleeding yell from my father. I hear his footsteps growing near and James freezes as if he thinks dad won't see him if he stays still.

"Should I run?" he looks nervously at me.

I nod my head once. "Like a bat out of Hell." He takes off up the tree right when my father arrives.

"You" He points at me. "What baby are you talking about?!"

I hesitate before replying. "Erm… Remus's baby."

My father flushes. "What!" He turns and rushes Remus against the tree trunk.

"No! Sir, it's not like that! I was in the tree last night, all night, alone!" He defends himself and holds up his hand. "I solemnly swear that I am telling the truth, Mr. Evans."

I glance quickly at Sirius who is having a very animated, silent conversation with James in the tree. He is mouthing words and pointing while trying to act out his thoughts.

My dad turns around just in time to see Sirius sticking his middle finger up at a tree. He then sees my father looking and tries to cover it by scratching his head. I roll my eyes.

"Where is that Potter boy?" Dad asks him.

"Dad, why do you feel the need to blame James?" I stall.

Sirius cuts in with a very concerned expression on his face. "Mr. Evans" he strides over to me and puts an arm around my shoulders. "Lily and I have something to tell you." He looks at me to continue. I really don't want to tell my father that I was knocked up by Hogwarts' most wanted. "Sir, Lily and I… she is…" he heaves a sigh. "Prongs really did do it. I'm just trying to support them because there is absolutely nothing they can do about it now." He shrugs.

"Oi! Wh- but-but, you said…" James incredulously jumps down from the tree. "I thought you said you would handle it!"

"I did handle it. I told him the truth. You my friend are a disgrace to the name of Gryffindor, you coward. I usually tell all the fathers the truth, Prongsie. It's not as if they can do anything about it."

My father throws his hands up. "Alright, whoever is responsible for this said un-born baby" He points to me. "Step forward if you know what's good for you." I can't help but feel annoyed at him for blowing this way out of proportion. He'll probably put a restraining order on whoever he thinks it is.

James looks so guilty as his eyes meet mine and I see a real apology in them. I want to deny him and tell him that it wasn't his fault, but he steps fore ward.

My father crosses his arms. "Penguin boy, eh?"

"Mr. Evans, I didn't mean for anything like this to happen. We don't know for sure if Lily and I… If she's err y'know. But if she is, and it's my fault, I promise that nothing on this earth could make me leave her side. I truly am really sorry." He looks at me. I can't take it anymore. I stalk to James's side, firmly snatching his hand in mine and I look at my father.

"Dad, you are making such a huge deal out of this! You keep blaming James and you act like I had nothing to do with it. I am not a child anymore and I refuse to be treated like one!" I rage.

"If you wish to be treated like an adult, start acting like one. No adult I know would throw a party without supervision and get so drunk that she would allow herself to get knocked up by an irresponsible, un-employed, lying coward that isn't worthy of her." He steps closer to me.

"I'm not a coward." James says firmly, squeezing my hand.

"What did you say?"

"I am not a coward." He says louder.

"Oh, so you're an irresponsible, unemployed, lying kid that is unworthy of my daughter?" Dad spits. I look at James. He has that look on his face again. The one that makes my heart swoop.

"Of course I am irresponsible and unemployed; I am a lying kid for merlin's sake! And I am well aware that I'm unworthy of Lily, I have been for years! She told me so in a variety of words and actions that I don't care to admit. I honestly don't know what you want me to do, like you said, we were drunk out of our minds."

"I couldn't have said it better myself." Sirius wipes away an imaginary tear.

"Shut up, Padfoot! Can you not see that you are not any part of that conversation?" Remus hisses.

"You are being way to over protective, dad. Even if I'm not an adult, I am a teenager and I need some space!" I exclaim.

"I thought you were dating that Snape boy from down the road?" Dad sneers, completely ignoring my earlier declaration.

"Git! He's a git, I don't like him he's a git." James claims.

"He is a rather large git." Remus adds thoughtfully.

"The greasy slime ball." Sirius mutters under his breath.

"That boy happens to be very polite and intelligent, unlike you lot!" My father points at James.

"I got ten Os on my OWLs in fifth year!" James defends.

"As did I!" Sirius declares.

"I got eleven." Remus sniffs.

"What?!" I squeal. "I only took nine tests and got nine Os. I thought you guys were stupid."

Sirius wrinkles his nose. "Stupid? We prefer the term cranially challenged if you don't mind."

James shakes his head "We aren't stupid, if only you knew all the things we've accomplished-"

"That would probably be an under-statement." Remus finishes with a confident nod of his head.

"What are you, criminals?" Dad stares at them.

"Not yet." Sirius says stupidly earning him two death glares from James and Remus.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Dad says frantically.

Sirius grins. "Well, you see, sir, at school, we are quite famously labeled as The Marauders." James is attempting to silently inform his best friend that he is failing to help the situation but he just rambles on. "I mean, if you actually get to know us, you will take a rather strong liking to us. As of this morning, everyone we have happened to come across seems to… Well, let's just say we grow on you, in one way or another." James looks about to tackle the beaming idiot beside him. Sirius laughs. "Sorry, Mr. Evans, I guess it was rather humorous that I said not yet for my entire family being in close proximities with Lord Voldemort. It really wouldn't knock me off my track if they invited him over for dinner last week." My dad is pale and looks a little unsure of Sirius at the moment. "Never fret sir, I had enough sense to run away last week. I didn't feel as though they particularly understood me."

"Yes. Along with every other teenager in the universe." My father replies a bit hysterically.

"Don't worry though. I live with good ol'Prongsie and his folks now." He grasps James shoulder and shakes him roughly. James grumbles under his breath. To be honest, I can't help but smirk at how well he turned the subject around and made it about his unfortunate family issues.