AN 1: Woohoo! People actually read this. Thank you guys so so so so much. I'm actually writing this as I go so that's awkward... I have a general idea of where I want it to go so bear with me please. Just finished writing this; this chapter is a look into Alex and a general intro. Thanks for the awesome feedback~ Honestly, I can't believe that people like this. :)

AN 2: Also, I suck at editing things. Especially my own writing because I either don't catch the things I need to or I become hyper analytic of my writing and end up stopping. I read over this like 4 times but I sure there are some mistakes. Does uh.. anyone want to help me edit? I'll be forever thankful. I'll love you forever. I don't bite I promise.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. If I did though... No crazy teenage girls would be giving everything up for frustrating people like Edward..

Chapter 1

"Fuck." Groaning as the sunlight hit his face, Alex squinted at the clock sitting on his bedside desk. It was only seven in the morning and Alex was definitely not amused. Also, he has already cursed once today. He was usually a morning person, after all, it is when the daylight is the most quiet and peaceful – not counting the annoying birds that always seem to start chirping at exactly 3:57AM.

Deciding he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep, Alex's exact 6ft 2.2in frame got up and gathered his clothes for the day to get ready. Walking into the bathroom that conjoined to his room, he stood in front of the mirror. Staring deep into his reflection, he took in his unkempt brownish hair. His deep chestnut eyes were darker today. His facial hair had yet to be shaved yet either, as it was transforming from stubble to more. Sighing deeply, Alex attempted to mentally prepare himself for a change in scenery. I really hate change.

Alex finished his shower and morning routine. He merely trimmed his facial hair though. He needs stubble.

Stepping into his room in simple jeans and v-neck, he couldn't help but notice how bare it appeared. Everything was already packed. Today really is the day. I'm really leaving.

Alexavier Swan, or Alex as he preferred was an interesting guy to say the least – he had the loving parents, the looks, the insane intelligence, social power, and a good attitude. Although he was a "cool enough guy" as described by his acquaintances – because he would never let himself make proper friends – he has little quirks. For example, most days he cannot fall asleep. He blames chronic insomnia, but his mother would like to say he's just a thinker of all things before bed. Another quirk is that everything has to be in order. His sandwiches must be in squares, because triangles are unstable. Furthermore, his room always has to be in between messy and clean, and usually Alex deliberately creates little messes in his room. He thinks it makes him seem more teenager-like and approachable – not that he would invite anyone to his room anyway.

His quirks are clinically strange. Alex has a list of circumstances when he chooses to smile.

When to smile:

someone smiles at me.

greeting someone.

someone new.

upset

The list goes on. Needless to say, Alex does not do deep relationships. Then again he was diagnosed with OCD so that's an excuse he frequents. "People wouldn't understand" he says, "I have a fear of everything. It's understandable."

"Alex! Honey, it's time to go!" Renee, Alex's mothers voice carried from the living room. Quickly gathering some remaining items such as his trusted IPod and phone, Alex ran down the stairs to meet his mother.

"Morning mum" giving her a kiss on the cheek, Alex smiled softly. "No breakfast today?"

Smirking at her son, Renee replied. "Please, I'm a mother. We're stopping for breakfast at IHOP. I need to feed my main man. Forks probably won't have it, and I know it's your guilty pleasure."

Scoffing in mock disgust, Alex wrapped an arm around Renee's shoulders. "Not true at all mother. Please don't use me as an excuse to eat the greasy breakfast foods of IHOP." Renee merely patted his cheeks in reply and gestured to the living room.

Glancing wearily at his mother in question, Alex took a hesitant step towards the living room. His mother grinned like a Cheshire cat. I really hate surprises. Alex walked all the way into the living room with heavy footsteps. Turning his head to see what his mom was so smug about, his jaw dropped to the floor. Placed strategically on the couch was a new guitar. A shiny new toy for Alex. If there was one thing that made life seem all puppies and rainbows for Alex, it was music; creating music, and anything related to music at all was something he was passionate about. It was the only thing he let himself fall in love with. It was his one escape from crazy repetitive behaviors such as constantly checking if the front door was locked. The guitar was a very welcome surprise.

Alex caressed the top of the guitar, taken in the deep blue colour close to the center of the top that darkened to black at the edges. The fingerboard was decorated with the letter X at certain frets. "Mum, you didn't have to-"

"Of course I did. You're old baby is not fit for my baby." Slapping Alex's back, Renee spoke in a baby voice. "My baby is leaving me. I needed to get my baby a gift to show you how much mummy loves you."

"That's true. But mum, you know how much I hate change. It's going to take a while before I even decide to start using the guitar at all."

"And that my sweet baby boy, is how you will move past this. I promise."

Feeling uncomfortable with her sincere words, Alex quickly changed the subject. "Where's big man Phil? I thought he was going to see off his only son."

Inaudibly sighing, Renee replied. "Phil's in the car honey. You're carry on is in the car too and the rest of your boxes of belongings have already arrived at Forks. Including Carrie."

"Good. So we're right on schedule then?" Renee nodded in response to his question.

Silently, the two family members walked pass the foyer of their home for as long as they could remember. Stepping outside, the door shut, they said their goodbyes. The finality of the situation hit them.

A strange sensation spread throughout Alex's chest. Shutting his eyes tightly, he let out a shaky breath, attempting to push down the weird feeling. Swallowing a lump in his throat Alex smiled meekly at his mother, who had been watching him. She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and prayed that this was the right choice.

After a tearful goodbye on Renee's part and a manly hug between Alex and Phil, Alex was on the plane. His irrational sense of fear began. He knew it was irrational that he already hated the plane because it was already 9:46AM even though the plane was scheduled to leave at exactly 9:35AM. Recognizing this, he couldn't help but me more distressed than before. He knows it's stupid but he's unhappy with it.

He wasn't even sure if he wanted to be here.

It definitely wasn't helping that he had gotten stuck with the aisle seat, because as frequently as he had badgered his mother to book his flight, she booked it late. Alex hated plane rides. But he hated them more if he didn't have a window seat. He needs the window seat. Trying to slow his increasingly rapid breaths, Alex put his headphones on, hoping that the music would calm him. He thought that he could handle the plane ride, and god forbid if he outwardly expressed his extreme discomfort to the extent that someone would notice.

It was getting increasingly more difficult to maintain his outward character. His carefully built model-student persona. Deciding he couldn't hold it in, Alex took out the leather bound journal he had gotten the week before. Hesitating to put pen to paper, Alex changed the playlist from Airplane Relaxation to Hold It In on his IPod. He needed to hold it in. Finally, his left hand flowed across the paper. His second entry came into existence.

Dear Chloe,

I have no idea what I'm even doing right now. God. I'm on the plane but all I can think about is the fact that I'm sitting in the god damn aisle seat. My head is just so loud. The man sitting next to me has an eyelash on his cheek. It's distracting. It's just sitting there on his cheek and the man has no idea. Very important question Chloe. Do airplanes lock the doors? I feel like I should check if the doors are locked. The plane can't leave if the doors are unlocked. Maybe that's why it's delayed. That has to be it. I feel like

I'm sorry. That was rude. I should've asked you how you've been. I'm guessing you're not going through whatever emotional unbalanced craziness that seems to think I'm it's best friend. I hope you're doing well Chloe. After all, you are my best friend. Fuck. It's harder than I thought it would be to write to you like this. You know how I don't swear more than 31 times a day? It doesn't count if it's in writing right? Because the only fucking words that come to mind happen to be curse words. I'm stuck. I don't know what to write. My hand keeps stopping after ever sentence. I'm sorry I'm so random but my head keeps flitting through random thoughts that scream at me if I don't acknowledge them...

I should open up to you Chloe.

You remember my d

So my birth father. My dad. His name's Charlie. He's the chief police officer of the small town of Forks. He's awkward but he's my dad. I haven't properly visited in years and all of a sudden, we have to live together. What if we don't work as a family? What if he leaves the lights on? What if he leaves the door unlocked? What if he keeps his toothbrush on the sink and not in a cup?

It shouldn't even fucking matter. Why do I care about things like that? I'm so scared of my new house, my new life, and of all the change that's going to happen. I hate that I can- I hate that I can't be normal. And most of all, I hate that you're not here.

I think that this is the longest I've ever talked about myself and my issues. I think that mom was right. It does help.

Thanks Chloe. Thank you. Hell, I didn't even notice that the plane was in the air.

Yours,

Alex