Harley stared at him. "Batman?" she repeated. "But he's one of them."
"You said he ain't with them, not completely," said Joker. "I know Bats. He's nuts, but he ain't nuts enough to live in a place like this without feeling uncomfortable about it. That's the reason he's brooding away in his Batcave. He knows this ain't right, but he doesn't know how to stop it, or if he even wants to. There's only one guy who can talk a little crazy back into him, and he's right here," he said, pointing to himself.
"He didn't listen to you before," murmured Harley. "What makes you think, even if we can find him, that he won't just turn you over to Superman again?"
"Because I know him," repeated Joker. "He barely had the courage to hand me over to that freak before. He ain't got the guts to face doing that again. That's why he wears a mask, y'know – because he's afraid of facing things," he chuckled.
Harley managed a smile. "I've missed your jokes, puddin'," she murmured. "Among…other things."
She stared down at the ground. Joker tilted her chin up. "Hey," he said, gazing into her tear-filled eyes. "You know I'd always want my Harley to be strong for me, right, kid?"
She nodded. "And who's to say this lobotomy stuff can't be reversed?" said Joker. "Hell, if Tetchy can invent a teleporter and Kryptonite, he can probably invent something to give me back my mind safe and sound. Well, as safe and sound as my mind ever was, anyway," he added, grinning.
"Do you really think so, puddin'?" she asked, hopefully.
He shrugged. "Anything's possible. But first we gotta defeat those Justice Creeps, and to do that, we need Batsy's help. So we gotta find out where he's hiding himself away."
"How are we gonna do that?" she asked.
He thought for a moment. "That battle today…that was a diversion you set up just to draw out Superman, wasn't it?"
She nodded. "I wanted it to look like we were attacking Arkham, so Superman would suspect I was just trying to bust you out. Not that it would do any good since you don't even know who I am…" she said, trailing off sadly.
"Maybe we can try the same tactic with Batsy," said Joker. "Draw him out, and then follow him back to his little Batcave."
"But what kinda thing would draw Batman out?" asked Harley, puzzled. "He's never taken an interest in any of the battles or riots…"
"What always draws Batsy out?" interrupted Joker. "Me."
He turned away. "We got any Joker toxin around here?" he asked. "I think it's time I gave the brooding Batfreak something to smile about."
…
Batman entered the morgue, where the rest of the Justice Lords stood in a circle around a body covered in a sheet. "All right, what was so urgent that I needed to be here?" he muttered.
Superman said nothing, but pulled the sheet off the body to reveal a horrible death grin on its face. Batman's face remained expressionless, but his jaw tightened a little in anxiety.
"It's Joker toxin," said Superman.
"I can see that," snapped Batman. "Harley must have figured out how to make it."
"She's never used it before," retorted Superman. "Why would she wait this long when she could have inflicted mass destruction with this gas ages ago?"
"She's crazy, that's why," snapped Batman. "Who knows how her mind works?"
"We were hoping you did," said Wonder Woman. "She was your problem for years, remember."
"I remember just fine, thank you, Diana," retorted Batman. "I remember exactly what the world was like before we took control. Chaos, insanity, madness, and death. Thank God we live in a better world now."
Superman studied him closely. "You know, Bruce, I'm starting to wonder if you really believe that," he murmured.
"What are you talking about?" demanded Batman.
"Well, you were in charge of monitoring the Justice League after we lured them here, but then they somehow managed to escape and stopped us from bringing order to their universe," said Superman, quietly. "How did they manage that?"
"I told you, Flash tricked me," growled Batman. "He knocked me unconscious and locked me up. When I came to, they were all gone."
"How could they work the portal without your help?" asked Martian Manhunter.
Batman shrugged. "They had a Batman. Whatever I can do, he can do. Now if you'll excuse me…" he began, turning to go.
"Bruce, we need to talk about this," said Wonder Woman, gesturing to the body.
"Why?" demanded Batman, whirling around again. "So Quinn's trying some new scare tactic. So what? She doesn't stand a chance against you."
Superman pulled a device out of his pocket, which projected a holographic image. "This is footage from the recent battle at Arkham," he said. "Look just behind the building here," he said, pausing it.
Batman looked, and his jaw tightened further. "So?" he demanded. "Joker escaped. So what? He's hardly dangerous anymore, and he's back in Arkham now."
"He was in Arkham the whole battle," murmured Superman. "That Joker there is not the one I lobotomized."
He turned off the projector. "He's back, Bruce. The Joker is back."
Batman shook his head slowly. "No, that's impossible," he murmured. "You…you subdued him, Superman, for the greater good…"
"If there were alternate versions of us out there, there are alternate versions of them," interrupted Superman. "Who's to say Tetch didn't find a way to summon this Joker from the alternate dimension to help fight against us?"
"Why does that worry you, even if it's true?" asked Batman. "You took care of the Joker once. I'm sure you can do it again."
"Not without your help," said Superman. "You know the way he thinks, Bruce. You led us right to him last time. We need you to help us out again. For the greater good."
Batman said nothing. "I'll think about it," he muttered at last, turning away.
"Bruce!" called Superman, grabbing his shoulder. "You're either with us or against us," he murmured, studying him seriously. "This is a war, a war of order versus chaos. And I'd consider very carefully whose side you're on."
"Don't you dare threaten me," growled Batman, shoving his hand off. "There is no one who has supported our actions more than I have from the very beginning!"
"No," agreed Superman. "But I'm starting to worry about that human part of you, Bruce. I think it might be making you too soft, too quick to sympathize with our enemies. The primary trait of humanity has always been weakness. It takes strength to rule, to do what must be done. It takes strength to be free. And I'm starting to wonder if you're strong enough to see this through to the end."
"And what will that end be exactly, Clark?" demanded Batman. "Humanity worshipping you all like a bunch of gods? Cowering in fear of your wrath?"
"That's not what we want!" snapped Superman. "We only want to maintain order!"
"So do I," retorted Batman. "But there's a fine line between order and tyranny. Sometimes I wonder if you can even see it anymore."
Superman and Batman glared at each for a few more seconds before Batman turned and left them without another word. He stormed back to the Batmobile, driving back to the Batcave in a huff. As he climbed out, he suddenly heard a familiar voice.
"Miss me, buddy?" it chuckled.
Batman turned slowly to see the Joker and Harley Quinn climbing up from the backseat, beaming at him.