"Harley, there you are, we were worried when you didn't answer your…" began Jonathan Crane, but his jaw dropped as Harley entered the room followed by Joker and Batman. Crane instantly raised his gun, pointing it at Batman's head.
"Easy, Johnny, he's on our side," said Joker, knocking it out of his hand before Batman could do that himself. "You need to chillax – you'll live longer."
"Not here, I won't," he growled. "My ability not to…chillax is one of the reasons why I'm not lobotomized and you are! What on earth is going on? Why is he here?" he snapped, throwing a finger at Batman.
"He's here to help, Johnny," retorted Harley.
"You trust him to do that?" demanded Crane. "More likely he's come to spy for them! To lead them right to us!"
"I'm not a spy," retorted Batman, coldly.
"Yeah, geez, Craney, if you can't trust a guy in a mask, who can you trust?" chuckled Joker.
"You trusted him not to turn you over to Superman last time, and look how that turned out," snapped Crane.
"Johnny, stop it," commanded Harley. "I'm convinced Batman's ok."
"Only because he's told you so!" retorted Crane, glaring at Joker. "He's no longer in charge here! He almost got you both lobotomized before, Harley! I don't want to see that happen again!"
"It won't happen again!" snapped Harley. "But we're only going to be able to win this war with Batman's help! He knows the Justice Lords. He knows their security and their systems. He also knows how we can bypass that stuff without them noticing. He knows their plans and their weaknesses, and he can keep us informed about those so we can take the Justice Lords down once and for all."
"I thought he didn't approve of killing," retorted Crane.
"We're not killing anyone," snapped Batman. "But we're going to get rid of the Justice Lords. A better world doesn't need superheroes. It just needs a little more understanding."
"All right, cut the hippie crap," said Joker. "We need a concrete plan."
"Perhaps this will help you form one," said Jervis Tetch, entering the room holding a glowing, green crystal. "I have managed to synthesize a form of Kryptonite which has reacted favorably with the sample of Superman's blood we've obtained. Or unfavorably, from his perspective."
Batman took it from him. "You know what this stuff does to Superman?" he asked, quietly.
"Yeah, it'll kill him," said Joker, nodding. "About the only thing that can do that."
"It also puts him outta action," retorted Batman. "Makes him weak, neutralizes his powers. If it gets close enough to him."
"The only person who could get close enough to him would have to be someone he trusts," said Harley, pointedly, looking at Batman. "But he'd have to do it someplace where we could be ready and waiting to trap the rest of them. An enclosed space, where they can't easily run away."
"Arkham," said Joker. "The Justice Losers must visit there occasionally, huh?"
"Yeah," agreed Batman. "I could probably invent a reason why Superman would need to go check out a situation there."
"Or we could give you a reason," said Harley. "You could use me as bait."
"No!" said both Crane and Joker at once. "We…can't risk losing our leader in this crucial operation!" stammered Crane.
"And what if the Kryptonite doesn't work?" demanded Joker. "I don't trust Tetchy's skills that much!"
"You should – according to you, I'm the reason you're here," snapped Tetch.
"I trust my friends, Mr. J," said Harley. "And I trust you. If something happens to me, you can lead the resistance again. Besides, there ain't much left for me here once you go back to your own reality," she murmured, smiling at him. "If things go wrong and I get…lobotomized…well, at least me and my Mr. J will be together."
"Harley, no, this is nonsense!" snapped Crane. "I will not allow you to put your life on the line by trusting Batman, the Mad Hatter, and the Joker!"
"Well, that's gratitude, I must say," sniffed Tetch.
"Yeah, why shouldn't she trust me?" demanded Joker.
"Because you nearly got her killed last time!" shouted Crane. "Don't you remember, Harley?! That little operation he planned to try to trap Superman, which ended in you both getting captured?! You remember what he told you?! 'Batman will save us.' And did he?!" demanded Crane, rounding on him. "No! No, you let the Joker die, and you would have let Harley die if she hadn't escaped. She may be mad enough to trust you both again, but I'm not!"
"We don't have a choice, Johnny!" snapped Joker.
"He's right, though," murmured Batman. "It would be stupid to trust people who failed you before."
Harley smiled. "Story of my life, Bats," she murmured. "Stupid, maybe. But it was something we all used to do before the world went bad. You used to trust us to stay in Arkham, but secretly I think you'd always trust us to bust out. We used to trust you to come walking into our traps and putting up a good fight. And we used to trust that you'd win eventually. I used to trust Mr. J blindly, even after he'd hurt me again and again. People called me a lotta names – gullible, naïve, dumb. Maybe I still am, for believing things can ever go back to the way they were, and for trusting you both again. But that's…the better world I wanna live in again," she said, taking Joker's hand. "Where you have faith in people. Even if those people ain't perfect."
Batman held out his hand to Crane. "I'm sorry for what I've allowed to happen to my city," he said, quietly. "To my home. I wanted to protect it, but I've only made everything worse. I never wanted to see anybody hurt. But there just didn't seem like another way. I stayed in the shadows too long because I didn't want to see what my actions had led to. I allowed myself to become blind."
"As a bat!" chuckled Joker.
"You're ruining the poignant mood, Mr. J," whispered Harley, squeezing his hand.
"Sorry, kiddo, can't resist it when a joke like that comes your way!" he giggled.
"I don't deserve your trust," continued Batman. "But I'm asking for it all the same. Stupid, as Harley said. But I want to live in a world where people can be stupid from time to time. Where humans can make mistakes, and grow, and learn. Where sorrow and joy can exist, along with pain and happiness, and good and evil. Can't have one without the other, I see that now. And I see how thin the line between the two can sometimes be. I want to be on the right side again. Will you allow me to be?"
Crane nodded slowly. "I still don't want Harley to be the bait," he growled.
"Then let me do it," said Joker, stepping forward.
"No, Mr. J…" began Harley.
"I'm the one they want," he interrupted. "Batman's supposed to be looking for me. Well, let him find me. Let Superfreak come to lobotomize me. I trust Harley to save me, if not any of you other jerks!" he chuckled. "Anyway, if you're gonna trap the Justice Freaks in Arkham, you gotta infiltrate it quietly first. And Harley's better at that stealth stuff than me. I'm not the sneaking around type."
"So the plan is sneak into Arkham, wait for Batman to bring Joker in so Superman joins him, neutralize Superman, and lock up the rest of the Justice Lords when they come to save him?" asked Crane.
"Sounds like fun, huh?" asked Joker.
"Sounds like nonsense," retorted Tetch. "I'm in."
Crane looked from him to Harley. "This is really the best plan we've got?"
"Unless you can think of a better one, genius," said Joker.
Crane sighed heavily. "All right, fine," he snapped.
"Batman, I need a list of the Justice Lords' weaknesses," said Tetch. "So I can start designing appropriate weapons."
"I'll come with you," said Batman, heading off to the lab with him. "I'm pretty good with technology myself."
"I'm gonna review the security footage of Arkham to make sure I know the locations of all possible cameras," said Harley, heading off to the communications room and leaving Crane with Joker.
"I certainly hope you know what you're doing," Crane snapped.
"Hey, don't be angry with me just because you still ain't got a chance with Harley, even after I've been lobotomized!" chuckled Joker. "She's a one man loon!"
Crane glared at him and stormed off. "If you're wrong about Batman, on your head be it!" he called back.
"No, Johnny, in my head be it!" giggled Joker. "Get it? Cause of Supey's laser eyes and…aw, never mind," he muttered. "Hate explaining jokes anyway." His thoughts drifted to the impending defeat of the Justice Lords, which was a cinch with Batman on their side, and he cackled madly to himself. "I gotta hand it to the Hat guy, so far it's been a great vacation!"