Chapter 6: Darkness
Riku wasn't sure how long he'd sat on the stairs pondering DiZ's words that night, but they kept repeating themselves in his head over and over. His eyes were the window to his heart. Could DiZ see darkness in his eyes? King Mickey had even mentioned his eyes, and Riku wondered what exactly that could have meant. He also couldn't help but wonder if DiZ could pick up his scent, just like Riku could pick up scents. He remembered detecting the darkness on himself back when he was making his travels through Castle Oblivion, and the shame that the foul, malodorous scent had seeped into his very own skin was nearly overbearing.
Riku sighed as he sat sideways on the steps, his back against the wall, his elbow resting on one of the stairs, his cheek laying against his fist. "I know you've been watching me," the teen spoke up, inclining his head toward the dark doorway that led to DiZ's computer room, but did not look up. He could feel someone had been standing there nearly the whole time. He could still feel her presence from the computer room and decided to acknowledge the fact that he knew it was Naminé.
The small, pale, blonde figure in white stepped out. She had one hand brought up to her mouth, her knuckle resting against her lips, and her violet eyes, so much like Kairi's, were soft and looked almost fearful, and what Riku found most strange about her was she seemed emanate a gentle light, despite her being a Nobody. Riku finally lifted his aquamarine orbs to meet Naminé's eyes and she gave him a small, tentative smile. "Hi. I'm sorry. I hope I wasn't bothering you or anything."
Riku shook his silvery violet head. "Nah. You weren't," he told her honestly, and in truth, he felt almost grateful that someone was there with him. Maybe Naminé might be able to understand a little of what he was dealing with. "You can come over here. I won't bite," he added, giving her a half smile.
"I know you won't bite," Naminé said smiling fully now, blinking her eyes. "I just... well, I was worried about you, and I wanted to watch and make sure that you were okay. I hope that's okay." Riku's eyes widened briefly, surprised and startled at Naminé's unexpected kindness, and he couldn't help but admit to himself that he appreciated it a great deal.
"You don't have to worry about me," Riku told her, brushing back some of his long locks from his eyes. "I'm fine." He tried his best to ignore the slightly questioning look of disbelief on the girl's face. So Naminé most likely could see through him too. Riku wasn't sure of how much he liked the idea that people could see and read him easily. He'd have to really work on that.
"Riku...," Naminé hesitated for a moment. "I heard all of those things DiZ said to you," she told him softly, looking down at her sandaled feet, unable to meet his face. "DiZ doesn't seem to really know how to use discretion. He just tells it like it is, and it doesn't matter who gets hurt in the process." Naminé paused, a sad expression crossing her porcelain-like features, and Riku could tell by those words that Naminé wasn't just speaking about himself being hurt by DiZ's words.
Riku turned his body toward Naminé and rested his elbows on his knees. "You're right about that. You'd think the man could learn to use a bit more tact when talking to people," the youth replied, causing Naminé to nod her head in agreement and laugh a bit. The sound of her laughter was almost contagious, and Riku could feel the corners of his mouth upturning into a grin before he joined in Naminé's laughter. The two teens laughed for a brief minute before quieting down, and Riku caught himself staring right into her eyes. It was then that he realized something. As much as she resembled Kairi, this girl was her own person.
Yes, she was a Nobody, but just by looking at her and talking to her, Naminé had her own personality and it wasn't Kairi's. Where as Kairi was more brash, outspoken and could be feisty and playful with her deep, auburn hair and wide smile, Naminé was more quiet, reserved and seemed uneasy to express what was on her mind. Her long locks of soft, blonde hair lay loosely on her bare shoulder, and Riku had to resist the urge to want to reach out and tangle his fingers through them. What the... I barely know this girl. Why would I want to touch her hair? What is my deal?
The girl sighed, dropping her hands to her sides and shook her head."You know, he's honestly terrible sometimes with his words and how he goes about things, but in most cases, I think he means well. He's just trying to do what's right for Sora and the others," Naminé said, breaking Riku out of his musings. "Oh! Which speaking of Sora! Would you like to go and see him?" she tilted her head a little to the side and placed her hands behind her back.
"Oh, Sora. Right. Ummm, yeah," Riku nodded his platinum colored head. "Yeah, I would like to go see him. The slacker. Still sleeping away like nothing is wrong in the world," he added, retaining a bit of his playful sarcasm. "Let's go." Naminé nodded her head in response and led the way through DiZ's computer room, to the long hallway with the sleeping pods lined up on the conveyor system. Riku caught a glimpse of Donald and Goofy, slumbering peacefully in their pods as he followed Naminé to the door at the back of the room. She opened it up to reveal a very vibrantly lit, white room. Riku blinked his eyes for a moment, trying to get used to the lighting, and then looked up in the familiar sleeping pod to see Sora suspended, sleeping soundly, a placid expression across his face.
"I see nothing has changed since I last saw you, you slacker," Riku said to the sleeping Sora, knowing that he probably couldn't even hear his voice. "Hopefully you wake up soon, Sora. The world needs you now more than ever." More than they could ever need me...
Riku turned toward the blonde who was now standing at his side gazing up at Sora, with an almost guilty expression on her face. "Naminé, what is it?" Riku found himself asking, unable to stop himself from it.
The little Nobody sighed and placed a hand on the cool glass of Sora's sleeping pod. "It's just that... well... Riku, I was just so lonely, you know? I didn't know that Nobodies could be lonely, or maybe I was just remembering what it was like to feel lonely when I was a person. When I was... Kairi... I don't really know myself. I'm sorry I put him in this state." She lowered her head and closed her eyes.
"Don't worry about it," Riku told her, shaking his head back and forth. "Hey, Naminé. Can I ask you a question?" the youth began, sounding almost thoughtful. The blonde girl nodded beside him. "I know this might seem a little off the wall and out of sorts, but what's it like?"
Naminé raised a thin, blonde eyebrow at him looking at him curiously. "What's what like, Riku?"
"Being a Nobody, I mean. DiZ says you don't have hearts, but you said you were lonely, right? That's why you tampered with Sora's memories, and that's why you came to me when I thought I was fading and you found me and brought me back, but you were in Kairi's form. You're obviously Kairi's Nobody. You have her face, but Naminé, I don't get it. You're nothing like Kairi. Your face and your eyes look like her, but everything else about you isn't."
"I can't really answer that because I don't really know myself," Naminé replied palpably, shrugging her small shoulders. "DiZ says that we're just shadows left over from the people we once were when they lost their hearts. I'm Kairi's shadow, that's why I have her face. DiZ also says we don't have hearts and that we're incapable of feeling things like emotions and loneliness because we lack that part of us that allows us to feel. He says our feelings are just memories. All we are doing is just remembering what it was like to feel sad or happy or lonely when we were whole." Naminé rubbed at her cheek for a moment and cast her eyes to the floor. "We don't actually feel, we just remember what it felt like. It's all shadows. At least, that's what DiZ says."
"What DiZ says, huh? Do you always go by what he says and agree to what he tells you?" Riku inquired, and Naminé seemed to shrink a bit.
"I don't know any other way, because I don't even really fully understand what we are," Naminé replied with a faraway look in her eyes.
Riku folded his arms and raised a hand to his chin, holding it between his thumb and index finger. "You know, sometimes I wish I didn't have a heart."
Naminé gasped, and stood upright, turning around to face Riku full on, and it was the first time the boy could recall seeing something of Kairi in her. The normally subdued blonde actually looked angry and it caused him to take a step back. "How could you say a thing like that! You wish you didn't have a heart? You want to be a Nobody? It's horrible being a shadow! We Nobodies long for our own hearts... All we want is to be our own person, and to have friends that love us and people who want to see us, just like we want to see them. How can we have that without having hearts? You should appreciate the fact that you have a heart, Riku."
Riku snorted derisively at her words. "Really, Naminé? Hearts aren't perfect by any means and having a heart doesn't make you feel any better. Some hearts are filled with darkness and hearts are challenged by it. Because people like me who do have darkness in our hearts, darkness that runs vast and deep like you told me it did, we make stupid decisions that hurt the ones we care about the most. We make dumb mistakes or take the wrong paths and do a damn good job at screwing things up!"
The silver haired boy could tell his emotions were getting the better of him and he turned his back toward Naminé, unable to look at her anymore and not wanting her to see him get angry. He huffed out a breath in frustration. She didn't seem to understand why he wished he didn't have a heart sometimes, or maybe even tried to pretend he didn't have one, but at the same time, even so, Naminé's reactions and expressions confused him.
If Nobodies didn't have hearts, then why did Naminé react the way that she did when he told her he wished he didn't have one? What if someone truly did not have a heart? Would they even have agendas or thoughts of betrayal, rage, happiness and hurt? Riku thought back to his replica. He had told him that he was empty inside, just a puppet, a shadow, something created and not real, but he expressed his pain quite openly to Riku that night they fought in front of this mansion. He even wondered where his heart would go when he died, and Riku liked to believe that his replica's heart went back inside of him. He was after all, a puppet replica of the shadows of his own heart. Were Nobodies the same? Shadows? It was all very confusing to him, because Naminé didn't seem like someone with no heart. If he himself didn't have a heart, would he be the same? Would he still feel pain or happiness or loneliness like how Naminé and his replica felt?
"Riku...," Naminé said his name softly, breaking him from this silent reverie, and he could feel her small hand on his shoulder. "I understand what you're saying, but if Nobodies like me had our own hearts, then maybe we wouldn't be Nobodies. We wouldn't be looked down on or called just shadows of our former selves. We wouldn't be told we're incapable of feeling. Maybe the darkness could risk our hearts, but darkness rests inside of every heart in some form or another. You're not alone. We don't want to be alone either." Riku peered over his shoulder at the girl's genuinely honest expression and felt himself relax.
"I don't get it. DiZ calls you Nobodies. DiZ says you don't have hearts and you aren't capable of feeling or understanding human emotion, right? So, why do you understand so much, Naminé? Why do you get sad? Why do you get angry?" Naminé just stared back, a blank expression on her face, because Riku knew she couldn't answer his questions, but he kept going. "I fail to see how exactly those are just things you remember as a person. You feel them, don't you Naminé? You just got angry with me, right? You felt sad, remorseful at messing with Sora's memories, didn't you? I'm just not so sure I buy DiZ's logic on Nobodies lacking what we have."
Naminé became very quiet as she walked over to where her sketchpad and crayons lay, and Riku could see she was reflecting on his words. She flipped open her sketchpad, sat herself on the floor next to Sora's pod and began scribbling something on a blank page. Riku stood next to her, peering down at the sketchbook, watching Naminé's yellow crayon drift across the page, followed by a blue one, a purple one, a red one, before he realized that she was drawing himself, Sora and Kairi all three together. "Naminé, why do you draw so much?"
"It's how I use my power to link the memories missing back together again," Naminé replied without missing a beat. "It's relaxing to do it this way and I enjoy drawing. It helps pass the time, and sometimes when I'm by myself and I draw, it helps me feel like I'm not so alone. DiZ will probably be back soon and he'll want me to get back to work or he'll be angry. He won't tolerate me taking more time than I need to give Sora back all of his memories." Her voice sounded sad and almost tired, kind of like himself, as he listened to the girl, and Riku couldn't help but feel a rush of sympathy surge through his heart for Naminé. One of these days if he caught DiZ being particularly nasty to her, Riku just might have something to say to the bandaged man, regardless of what he offered. Instead of leaving, he seated himself next to the girl, with his back leaning against Sora's sleeping pod.
The two fell silent once more, the only sound to heard was Naminé's crayons scratching across the sketchbook as she worked. They were both surprised by a voice clearing out it's throat loudly and their heads jerked up in unison to see DiZ standing there. "If you two aren't busy, Riku, I require your assistance. Naminé is working and it's not wise to disturb her while she's doing so. Sora's awakening is of the utmost importance."
"I was hardly bothering her," Riku retorted, rolling his eyes and he noticed DiZ chose to ignore his reply. "So what do you want from me this time?"
"Come upstairs into the library. We shall discuss it there," the older man said shortly, as if impatient and swept from the room. Riku found himself growing further irritated by this man. He found himself wishing that Mickey were back. At least the King had some sort of control over DiZ's unpleasant attitude. Riku sighed, raising to his feet and began to make his way out of the door, when Naminé's voice spoke up from behind him.
"Riku?" He glanced over his shoulder to see the girl had looked up from her drawing and was staring at him full on, a hard expression in her eyes as though trying to see through him, to understand him. "Why don't you want a heart?"
Riku hesitated, and thought for a moment. Then, he smiled at her, almost painfully. "Maybe if I didn't have a heart, then I wouldn't be fighting as hard as I am right now. Maybe, if I didn't have a heart, it wouldn't hurt as much." He continued to smile and then turned his head and left the room. Naminé sat for a moment pondering his words, remembering what it was like to hurt, and the empty space in her chest ached. She raised a hand and placed it over where her heart would be, trying to calm the ache that had seemed to blossom forth inside of her, wondering why if she didn't have a heart, then why she was hurting right now too.
The months flew by, and DiZ was sending Riku out on one mission after another. The Dusks, a form of Nobody, were continuing to grow and spawn in ridiculous numbers, and the bandaged man would send the silver haired youth out to either fight these Dusks or look into what the Organization was up to so he could gather information for whatever purposes he desired. He spent many hours sitting in front of his numerous computer screens doing goodness only knew what kind of research or going in to town running 'errands' as he claimed, never giving Riku or Naminé specific answers.
Riku was also growing tired of the way DiZ talked to the girl, like she literally was nothing but an ant crawling on the ground, and the way Naminé cowered around him bothered Riku, but he said nothing. Granted he wasn't sure how much longer he could hold his silence, and DiZ didn't seem to treat him much better, though at times, the guy did have a nice side. He'd sometimes show back up at the mansion with a sea salt ice cream for himself, Riku and Naminé, so at least he had some sort of semblance of kindness, though rarely shown.
One afternoon, Riku was walking through the computer room, just leaving from a visit with his sleeping friend. When he was certain no one was around, Riku would slip into Sora's room and sit and have one-sided conversations with his friend, but the truth was, he missed Sora. He wanted his best friend to open his big, childlike sapphire eyes, talk in that playful, goofy voice of his and smile that dumb grin of his that was insanely contagious and always made Riku smile in some way or another, no matter how down he had been feeling. He could just imagine the things Sora would say if he were awake to hear some of the stuff Riku told him.
"Awww, c'mon, Riku. This ain't like you. Cheer up! I'll be back soon enough!"
"Riku, you're much stronger than you give yourself credit for. Look at how many times you beat me!"
"Riku, there's no reason to be sad. I'm still right here, and I'll be awake soon and we'll fight this together!"
"Riku, c'mon man. You don't have to do everything on your own. You've got me, Kairi, the King, Tidus and Wakka. We're here for you!"
"Riku, you don't have to be sorry. I know. We know. It's okay. We're still best friends no matter what. You're still Riku."
Riku found himself chuckling as he could hear Sora's voice in his head followed by Sora's laughter, almost as if the sleeping youth were channeling his thoughts into Riku's mind, but that was just silly. Sora was sound asleep and completely unaware of his surroundings, so he was most likely just fooling himself into believing it, or maybe... Maybe he just really longed to have a conversation with his best friend, to apologize to him for everything that had happened. "I know it's silly, Sora, but I miss you. I miss you, Kairi, Tidus and Wakka. I miss our days on the island when everything was normal. I'm... I'm just sad, Sora," Riku admitted, casting his aquamarine eyes upward to look at his suspended friend, wishing more than anything Sora would open his own eyes, smile and say, "Don't be sad, Riku! I'm right here!" Followed by his signature, stupid grin that always made everyone around him laugh. Sora had always had that affect on people, no matter what they might be feeling. Riku sighed and left the room.
DiZ was not home and the monitors were shut off on his computer. Riku captured a glimpse of his reflection in the screen and turned to look at himself. He realized by studying his reflection just how much he had grown within the past 6 months, which was quite a lot actually. The platinum-violet haired teenager was 16 years old now. He'd gotten much taller than what he had been. His hair was a lot longer and thicker, bangs falling into his eyes and locks falling well past his shoulders down to in between his shoulder blades on his back.
The teen absentmindedly wondered if he should get a haircut, but decided against it. His hair was the least of his worries. Riku had also filled out a lot more as well. Especially in his torso region. His chest and shoulders had grown much broader and his arms thicker than what they had been prior to all of this, and the boy assumed it must have been from all the fighting of heartless and nobodies from the various missions DiZ had sent him on that caused him to bulk up more than what he was. What he found interesting was the way his coat seemed to grow along with him, fitting perfectly to his own form. Perhaps that was just the magic of it since it did a decent job of hiding his darkness.
Riku walked up the stairs in the basement hall, through the library and found himself wandering toward Naminé's room. He raised a gloved fist and knocked on the door. "Come in," Naminé's voice softly called from the inside and he stepped in, unsure of why he was going this way, but he actually had an afternoon off for once, while DiZ was gone on one of his many errands. Normally when Riku would come back from a fight, the first place he'd go was to Naminé's room, where she tended to his wounds and he'd end up falling asleep there. For some reason the softness of her hands and the brightness of the room brought him comfort.
"It's just me," Riku said as he entered. Naminé was seated at the end of a very long, white table in her room with her sketchbook in front of her and crayons laying scattered across the tabletop. She had a frustrated look on her face. "Naminé?" Riku asked walking down the length of the table to stand next to her. "What's wrong?" He felt genuinely concerned for the girl and after living with her for 6 months now, Riku wasn't afraid to admit that he had become friends with this Nobody. At least she made it so he didn't feel quite so alone when he came back to the mansion.
Naminé ran her hands through her strands of blonde hair. "Something's not right... I'm not sure what it is, but either my powers aren't working or there's some kind of force interfering," she laid her hands down on the table palm up and looked at them. "Some of Sora's memories are missing and I can't find them to link them back together." Naminé glanced up at the tall boy standing next to her, worry clouding her pretty features, her violet eyes began shining, filling unshed with tears. "DiZ is going to be so angry at me... I don't know what to do." Riku had never seen the girl look so fearful and hopeless in all these months he had known her, and he reached his hand out to lay it on her shoulder and give it a gentle, reassuring squeeze.
Naminé was trembling, and Riku felt his heart leap in his chest. If Nobodies don't have hearts, then why was Naminé on the verge of crying? He couldn't help but wonder, and the urge to comfort her took over. "Don't worry. You're going to figure out the problem, and then once you do, you'll be able to link Sora's memories back together. I know you can do it," Riku gave her a small smile of encouragement. "If you want, I'll stay with you while you tell DiZ and if he tries anything, I'll step in, okay?"
Naminé looked at up Riku and gave him a watery smile. Another knock resounded on the door, and Riku felt Naminé stiffen, almost fearfully. He didn't let go over her shoulder and gave it another squeeze. "I'll keep him away from you for now. Go lay down and get some rest. You look exhausted." Naminé just nodded her head and stood up as Riku made his way to the door. He opened it to come to face to face with the last person he truly wanted to see. "She's sleeping right now, DiZ. She's been working almost non-stop, and she's exhausted."
"I wasn't looking for Naminé. I was looking for you. I'm going to be sending you to Hallow Bastion soon," DiZ informed the boy and Riku's heart sunk down into his stomach. If there was one place he hated more than anything, it was there. All the horrible memories of what happened in the past came flashing back and he shivered.
"Why?" Riku questioned, as he closed Naminé's door behind him, standing in front of it like a guard dog, his arms folded across his broad chest. The boy was almost as tall as DiZ now.
"I've heard a report that Nobodies are gathering up in great numbers, and I want you to go and investigate it," DiZ replied, not missing a single beat.
"And so you want to send me to Hallow Bastion to do your dirty work yet again," the blue-green eyed youth retorted. "I'm getting just a little tired of this, DiZ. You send me off to do all of the fighting, and I never seem to get enough information for you every single time I go out on these crazy missions of yours. Why are you turning me into your damn workhorse?" Riku growled.
DiZ shrugged his shoulders, placing his hands behind his back. "Simply put, I am not a fighter. I am a man driven by science and experimentation. I study the workings of the heart and why we possess such a gift, and if it truly is a gift or not. I am no warrior. I do not hold the talents of a fighter, unlike you, Riku, and the information you've gathered thus far as helped me further into my research and looking into the Nobodies and what the Organization may be planning. It has also helped me further understand why people carry darkness in their hearts. It helps me to further look into why people so dear to us would do things to betray us or take the paths they choose, and go down dark roads and make the terrible decisions they make. I do not fully understand it, but I want to know why their hearts command it so."
Riku raised a thin, silver eyebrow at the man, and he could smell the animosity, the hate, and for the first time, the revenge emanating from DiZ, intermingled with his own sense of darkness and Riku scoffed at him. "Tch. So you're just using me, right? You're using me as a way to get your revenge for something that has clearly happened too you, and you're too cowardly to do it yourself? Am I right? I'm just the guy you throw into the heat of battle to do all your dirty work." He glared down DiZ, and the red bandaged man didn't say a word, but merely closed his one, amber eye. "It is! I knew it! You know what, DiZ? I'm fed up with it! I'm sick to death of it! The way you push me and Naminé. We're human beings-," Riku was cut off by laughter from DiZ.
"You're human beings, are you? Naminé is no human being. She is a Nobody. A shadow, and that is all she will ever be. She does not possess a heart the way we do. You can stop trying to defend her. She does not feel a thing."
Riku snorted. "Are you kidding me? She doesn't feel? Really, DiZ? Do you have any idea how terrified she is of you? You push her way too hard, and if she doesn't feel, then why would she cry? Yeah that's right. Naminé actually was almost in tears because she's petrified of disappointing you!" Riku was yelling now and he didn't care. He could feel his heart pounding heavy and fast against his ribcage, his face growing hot with anger, and he could smell the darkness rising from his skin, wrapping it's black tentacles around the depths of his heart, but he didn't care at this point.
DiZ had him furious, and he felt unpredictable and volatile. How dare he use Naminé and himself to his own advantage. He and Naminé were just teenagers. They were still just kids, and even though Riku had matured signficantly for his age, he still longed to be a kid sometimes. To have some grown man use him and Naminé for his own screwed up purposes was enough to send the silver haired youth right over the edge. It took him everything he had not to summon Soul Eater or unleash a blast of Dark Firaga on the man standing in front of him who continued to laugh at the boy, which only further fueled the fire building inside of Riku.
"You dare lecture me, young man?" DiZ had stopped laughing now and was looking at Riku seriously once more. "When you yourself are overwhelmed by your own darkness and Ansem's shadow that you can barely even see straight sometimes. Have you ever wondered how you appear to people since you began working for me? Riku, you have no control over your own darkness."
"Excuse me?" Riku's eyes widened, incredulous. "How do you know anything about my darkness! You're not in my heart! You don't know what I deal with on a daily basis or what I even feel! Especially after all the crap you put me through that I do just so you can have your precious information to continue your research! I fight and work myself ragged because you constantly hold Sora over my head!" Riku was still yelling and he made no effort to lower his tone.
DiZ ignored Riku's outburst about Sora. "You are slowly changing, my boy, and it is not because you're getting older, but it's because of your darkness. How often do you use your dark powers, Riku? How often do you utilize them when I send you on missions?" DiZ questioned, standing tall with his arms now folded across his chest. "Answer me."
"W-what? Why does it matter how I use my powers as long as I get the job done?" Riku stammered, caught off-guard by DiZ's inquiry. DiZ remained firm, his one amber eye piercing into Riku's aquamarine ones. It was almost as if he were using some kind of mind control ability, and Riku found himself answering the question. "I only use them when absolutely necessary. Sometimes they are necessary when you send me into battles that can nearly kill me!"
DiZ laughed openly once more, his head thrown back, his eye squeezed shut. "Oh you are foolish, young man. You claim to walk the road to dawn, yet you still utilize the darkness within yourself. You're slowly but surely giving into the darkness, Riku. If you don't want to give into the darkness, then you need to stop exploiting it for your own advantage, especially in battle where you feel the rage and contempt more than ever. Foolish, stupid boy. You're supposed to be intelligent, and you're not showing much of it right now."
For the first time that he could remember in a very long time, Riku felt truly and honestly insulted, offended, and he opened up his mouth to respond, the resentment and outrage building up in him higher than ever like a destructive wildfire. He could hear Ansem's laughter echoing from the depths of his heart, and Riku grasped at his aching, racing chest. The door behind him opened, and he whirled around to face Naminé standing there looking much more calm than he felt, and he could feel her tranquility rest over him like a blanket, but not enough to quell his anger completely.
"DiZ? Riku? I'm so sorry to interrupt, but I needed to let you know that we've come to a standstill in repairing Sora's memories," the pale blonde stated, and Riku could tell it was just Naminé's way of trying to break up the argument between himself and DiZ, even though he knew how terrified she was to tell inform DiZ of this. DiZ closed his eye and shook his bandaged head, placing his palm up against the side of it.
"Alright then. Riku, you will have to excuse me. We will discuss our matters later. Naminé, let us talk about this in your room and we will figure out what to do from there," DiZ ordered the girl and he swept past an angry Riku and a nervous-looking Naminé and into her room. Naminé turned toward Riku once more before he walked away. She reached out to grab his hand.
"I'm sorry, Riku. We'll talk soon. I promise," she murmured to him, giving his gloved hand a gentle squeeze, before dropping it and turning to follow DiZ, closing the door quietly behind her.
Riku turned away from the door and raced down to his room at the far end of the corridor, opened up the door, stepped inside and slammed it hard behind him. He rammed both of his fists heavily into the door and pressed his forehead against it, taking in sharp, heaving breaths, willing himself to calm down after his confrontation with DiZ. He didn't use his darkness because he wanted to use it. He used his darkness because he had to in order to keep himself alive. "How dare he. He doesn't even know. He doesn't have a clue what I'm capable of. I don't want to use the darkness in me, but I have to because if I don't, I may not survive and if I don't survive, who will be there for Sora when he wakes up?"
Little did DiZ know that Riku was holding back most of the dark power within him, because if he were to thoroughly utilize and exploit it to his full potential, it would end badly, and would maybe even change Riku forever, and that wasn't something he was ready for, nor did he ever want to accept it. Riku used his dark abilities only when necessary and that was to keep himself alive. The nobodies he fought were a lot stronger than a hoarde of heartless. He had once tried fighting them without using any of his dark power, but it hadn't ended well.
He'd come home with wounds down his back, on his leg and his arm had been ripped up. If it hadn't been for Naminé and her mysterious abilities to heal and tend to his wounds so no scars remained, he was sure he would've bled to death by then. Riku sighed, walking across his room and collapsing onto the bed which seemed to be welcoming him. He could feel the exhaustion taking over now, and Riku buried his face into his pillow, welcoming the darkness of sleep as his final thoughts faded off into dreams.