Well, I'm sure you're surprised I'm actually updating on time. I meant it, the most important distraction I've ever had from updating my stories has been removed (Besides laziness, of course. :P) Also, I'm just going to go ahead and say this: In the middle of writing the first few paragraphs, I checked a map and realized that Al Kharid doesn't actually lead to Morytania, so I made up a very poor reason for him going there, so, sowwy. Along with that I should probably say that I put the Sheep Shearer quest in here simply because I realized there was no way I could do anything remotely interesting with it. And, as always, I don't own it, just wrote it.

Runescape Chronicles
Prince Ali Rescue

Joe groaned, digging in his money pouch, frowning. He only had twenty gold left, half of which he now needed to pass through the toll gate to Al Kharid. There was a small line of travelers in front of him, paying the toll of ten gold so the guards would open up the gate for them. Every time Joe looked up, the line was getting shorter and shorter, the ancient gates screeching as they creaked open over and over.

Bob in Lumbridge had given him ten coins since he had been nearly broke, and now he was going to have to spend them to get through Al Kharid to Morytania, and he would be just as poor as when he started. "Next!" Joe sighed resignedly, moving forward and digging back into his money pouch to hand the guard his gold. "Go on through." And there was the sound of metal sliding against metal, and he walked through the gates, but they slid back together a second after he was clear with a loud clang.

----------

Al Kharid was a small desert town, made up of white tents and adobe buildings, many in disrepair or with features worn away from years of sand damage. Dusty paved streets wound around them, men and women wrapped in thick robes and turbans pacing them over and over. The sun glowing in the sky beat down, un-obscured by clouds, radiated off of the adobe and marble, emanating an almost unbearable heat that reflected off of every surface. And it all led up to the glorious Al Kharid Palace. Among a town of poverty, it dominated everything, marble walls and stone spirals circling around a square courtyard bordered with cobblestones and expertly-chiseled statues of men with the heads of animals and a beautiful fountain that reflected the sunlight's beauty.

But on this particular part of the day, the dynamic shadow of the Palace stretched in the wrong direction, leaving the people to the sun's mercy, and among those unfortunates was Joe Player Killer. Sweat dripped from every pore so much that he was forced to remove his armor from a combination of the fact it kept in the heat, and for fear that it would begin to rust, so Joe put on his regular clothes to soak in his sweat.

He needed to stop in the Palace to borrow a boat from them so he could cross the Rive Salve to get into Morytania, being far too lazy to go all the way around, he decided to go through Al Kharid instead, by somewhat more unconventional means.

Joe walked under the pillars in the Palace courtyard, gingerly opening two large oaken doors at the very end. Guards patrolling the courtyard and chattering away with other adventurers paid him no attention as he slipped inside. The room was currently dark, though light filtered in through small windows on all sides, sending splashes of light across the floor. Joe looked around, thinking about calling out, but thought otherwise.

He wandered over to one side of the rectangular room, following a velvety beige carpet up to a stone table set into the floor. Joe looked up and noticed the light shining on a throne made of stone, a sketch of the sun in blue inscribed on its back. "Woah.." But before he could say anything more, there was a shout from behind him and he spun around to face a dark-skinned man dressed in all white with a flowing red cape.

"Who goes there?" He had a thick Kharidian accent, and put his hand warily on the hilt of his sword. "Uh?" The man turned his head towards him with a snap. "Who are you?" Joe tried to smile, looking friendly. "I'm just looking to ask for a boat so I can go across the river." The man looked at him suspiciously, and he raised both his hands to show he wasn't carrying anything and was glad he was no longer wearing armor.

"I am Hassan, Chancellor to the Emir." Hassan stood at ease, nodding slightly. "What is your name?" Joe swallowed. "Joe Player Killer." Hassan tried to look unsurprised, but saw Hassan cock an eyebrow, and knew automatically it was a mistake to have revealed his wilderness title. "Player Killer?" Joe shifted uncomfortably. "Well, yeah, but really - !" But Hassan was ignoring him, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

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"I have to do what?!"

"The Prince of Al Kharid has been kidnapped, and the King has retreated into his quarters in mourning. If you are able to save the Prince, you will have your boat." Joe couldn't believe his ears. "A Prince for a boat?! Who's getting ripped off here?" Hassan smiled mockingly. "Your deeds have preceded you, Player Killer. Your peacemaking among the Goblins, the slaying of Count Draynor, need I go on? I think you can rescue a mere prince." Though Joe doubted the description of a "mere prince," if he didn't take the job, he would have to take a day's trek all the way through Varrock across the Salve and into Canifis and then down into Mort'ton. And besides, some action would be great.

"Fine!"

Hassan tried to hide his overjoyed grin. "Find Osman!" Joe blinked. "Who?" Hassan grunted impatiently. "He is our Spymaster, tell him I sent you and he will tell you what you have to do." Joe muttered to himself and left Hassan behind, walking outside of the courtyard, he looked around carefully, finally spotting a man hiding in the shadows of the palace. Joe approached him slowly, shouting "Osman!"

The man waited until he was close, unblinking, then grabbed him suddenly, twisting his arm around his back and backing around the corner of the palace, out of view of the courtyard. "Who sent you?" Joe managed an answer. "I'm Joe, Hassan trusts me and sent me so you could tell me how to rescue Prince Ali." Osman grunted, letting him go, but regarding him suspiciously. He was dressed all in black, with a hood over his head, shadowing his face completely except for a small brown goatee.

"You are going to rescue Prince Ali?" He raised an eyebrow, and Joe nodded, grumbling. "What do I need to do, Hassan said you'd know." Osman looked amused, but Joe didn't move. "Okay. Prince Ali was kidnapped by a woman named Lady Keli. My daughter and our best spy, Leela, tracked them to a jail outside Draynor Village. There Lady Keli has him locked up, but he's surrounded by two stupid guards, the usual bandits Keli tails around with. All you need to do is tie up Lady Keli, incapacitate the guards, and disguise Prince Ali as Lady Keli, which shouldn't be too hard with her pathetic guards."

"What do I need?" Osman pulled on his beard thoughtfully. "Probably just a dress or skirt, something to color his skin, and probably some sort of wig would be nice. You'll probably just need to fool them at a distance." Joe nodded, but another idea occurred to him. "How will I get in?" Osman nodded. "Good point, but all you'll need to do is get some clay and make a mold of the key." Joe frowned. "How am I supposed to do that?" Osman laughed. "That shouldn't be too hard, think of something. When you have it, bring it to me with a bronze bar."

Osman suddenly glanced towards the village, and Joe followed his gaze. "What?" But when he looked back at Osman, he was gone.

----------

Joe had finally managed to formulate his plan, and his first stop involved reacquainting himself with an unpleasant witch, though on his way he picked a couple onions from Fred the Farmer's fields. But, finally he arrived at the small brick house on the west side of Draynor Village. He took a deep breath, knocking loudly. "Aggie!"

The door flew open, sending him stumbling backwards, and the young witch Aggie regarded him with amused eyes. "Joe! Welcome back to my.. humble abode." She smiled slyly, and he grumbled, following her inside. "So what is it this time, Player Killer?" Aggie cackled mockingly. "I need you to make me some yellow dye and some skin paste." She scratched her chin, holding out her clawed hand. Joe sighed, digging into his pouch and dropping five gold coins into her outsretched palm.

Aggie smiled and walking over to a shelf lined with books and jars filled with questionable potion ingredients, and pulled out a small booklet. "I am assuming you already have two onions ready for me?" Joe shrugged, pulling two onions out in his hands, fresh and clean. "You know me toowell." He said gruffly.

She smiled, taking them from him and promptly dropping them into the cauldron in the center of the room, sticking the gold coins in her pocket. "It will be ready in a couple of hours, but, in that time, I suggest that you get me the ingredients for the skin paste." Joe scoffed. "As if I didn't expect that." She quickly wrote it down on a scrap of parchment. "Redberries, flour, water, and ashes, I can do that." Aggie smiled in satisfaction. "Now, move along, I do have other things to attend to." Joe sniffed, and left quietly. "Foolish boy..."

----------

After quickly heading back towards Varrock to pick some Redberries, he carefully stuck them in his pack and went back to Fred the Farmer's field, quietly picking away some of his wheat for his own uses, and headed towards the nearest windmill. After finding one, he was pleased to find it empty so he could quickly use it for his own purposes.

Joe climbed the wooden steps to the top floor, approaching the hopper, he looked over it carefully, he pulled the bundle of grain from his pack, dropping it slowly down inside, he moved around the hopper, reaching for the lever. It didn't budge on the first pull, and Joe grunted. Seems this mill was abandoned for a reason. Joe pulled harder, and it gave with a quick snap and he stumbled backwards as the hopper game to life, spinning quickly, the grain being ground up into flour. He smiled in satisfaction.

Joe moved back down to the bottom level, the flour pouring from the chute into the container in the center of the room. Joe waited until it had all come down, and took out the pot he'd bought during his brief time in Varrock. He dipped it into the pile of flour, pushing it all in and patting it down, leaving only a few fine specks behind. Finally, he screwed the cover of the pot on over the packed-in flour. "There we go."

Now, after he picked up a bucket of water from a well, it was back on the way towards Aggie's house, ingredients and all.

----------

Aggie opened the door as soon as he knocked on it, and he quickly dodge to the side, and she smiled mockingly at him. "Your reflexes are improving." Joe sighed, and walked past her as she cackled at him. He carefully pulled everything out, setting the bucket of water on a counter, piling the redberries beside it, and setting the pot full of flour next to that, taking off the cap. But Aggie raised an eyebrow. "Where are the ashes?" Joe blinked, and reached down under Aggie's boiling cauldron, pulling some ashes from the fire, careful not to burn his fingers, and deposited them in a sizeable pile on the counter. He grinned broadly, and it was now Aggie's turn to frown, but she moved forward, picking up the bucket of water and pouring it into another separate flask carefully.

"There's a little bit left.." She handed him back the bucket, a portion of the water still sloshing around in the bottom. "Now, here's the yellow dye." She gave him a bottle of opaque, yellow liquid which he stuck in his pack as she picked up a redberry, examining it. "I'll be back in a couple of hours or so for the paste, I still have some other things to do." Aggie didn't even look up at him, waving him off as he left.

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After Joe payed another quick visit to purchase a coil of rope and a pink skirt to add to the disguise, he continued to his next destination to the south, the town of Lumbridge, where his good friend Bob lived. Though Joe had a quest to finish, he decided to pay him a quick visit anyway.

Bob was currently busy polishing an iron axe, so Joe decided that it was a great idea to sneak up on him. Sneaking quietly across the floor, he reared up behind Bob and let out a loud "BOO!" Bob, surprised, swung around and clipped Joe across the shoulder, and he stumbled backwards and on to the floor, swearing profusely. "Joe, by the Staff of Guthix!" He leaned forward, inspecting the gash welling blood on his shoulder.

Joe was a middle-aged man, with dark brown skin and a shaved head, he was dressed in a red, buttoned shirt and darker red slacks. He lifted up Joe's sleeve and carefully wrapped the wound in bandages and padding, looking embarrassed. Joe winced. "So, what brings you back into Lumbridge?" Joe smiled. "Oh, I'm just making some rounds - ." Bob laughed. "You've got a job, don't you?" He grinned broadly.

"Advertising, simple advertising, my friend! I've got posters all across Misthalin now! I'm shipping to some stores on Kandarin for them to hang up. Yes, we're both expanding, Joe!" Joe started to say something about that, but decided against it.

"So, Bob, can I borrow ten gold?"

----------

Fred the Farmer, like Bob, was one of the many friends he had met during his early time on Misthalin, and he hired him every now and then to do some chores on his farm, such as milking cows or picking eggs. In return Joe was allowed to pick from his fields as he wished, and even so, he still came back every now and then to help out. In this case, though, he was the one who needed help.

"Hey, Fred?" Joe opened the gate of his sheep pen, careful not to let any sheep escape, and yelled again. "Fred, you alive?" He walked across the field, and the door of the house on the other side opened, and a man appeared, waving a pitchfork at him. But the man relaxed, recognizing Joe. "Hey, Joe. What can I do for ya'?" Fred set the pitchfork against the side of the house, and Joe smiled. "Don't suppose I can borrow your shears?"

Fred raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms, but still grinned. "Well, perhaps, for a small chore." Joe grinned back at him, having been expecting it. Fred rubbed his chin in mock indecision, and motioned towards the sheep in the fields, their coats full of wool, and they looked at each other.

Joe left Fred in his house after taking the shears out, and moved into the field, passing from sheep to sheep, shearing off their wool and sticking it into a burlap sack. But, unfortunately, he was finding keeping the sheep still a bigger problem than he had anticipated, and Fred watched in amusement from the window of his home, and Joe smiled in grim determination. He moved from sheep to sheep, even as they fled away, fruitlessly attempting to leap over the fenced, he grabbed them and slid the shears across their great, fluffy wool.

Finally, he managed to gather enough wool from the sheep, and proceeded back inside to give Fred back his shears, no longer in need of them, he headed off back towards Lumbridge Castle, passing by Bob, he paid his respects to old Duke Horacio and the old Cook who had been the man who essentially started his quest business.

But his main objective was the spinning wheel on the second floor. He moved up the stairs and through the castle, recognized by the guards who saluted him politely as he passed, and Joe smiled back. Though he did gain a few glances when he sat down in front of the spinning wheel, a man, but nothing too serious.

He set to work, setting the wool against the wheel, spinning it into twenty-three neat balls of wool, racing against the light. For he still had so much more to do before he could attempt to rescue Prince Ali. But, finally, he was finished, and he packed all of the balls into his backpack, and quickly headed back to Fred's, who let him keep the extra three balls, which was exactly what Joe had hoped he would do. But now, he had one last thing to do before he went back to Aggie..

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Ned was an old sailor who lived in a house north of Draynor Village's bank. He had a white goatee and curly hair, overshadowed by a baggy, blue hat with a shirt and pants of the same color. Now, he gruffly stood in front of Joe as he dug into his pack, slowly pulling out three balls of wool and setting them on the counter in front of him.

"So, what do you want me to make for you?" Ned stroked his goatee absentmindedly, and Joe smiled weakly. "A wig, if you don't mind." Ned raised an eyebrow. "How soon can you have it done?" Ned looked at him as he picked up the first ball of cotton. "In an hour or so. Maybe." Joe looked out the window. It was still mid-afternoon, but the sun was getting low in the sky. "How about in an hour?"

Ned looked at him, a flash in his eye. "I t'were in the navy, boy! You think I can't make a mere wig in an hour? We'll see about that, oh, by Beedy-Eye Jones I'll.." The man continued to rant like that for several minutes, and Joe sat back quietly until he began to make the wig. Joe payed no attention, pulling The Shield of Arrav out of his pack, reading through it until Ned finally walked over to him. "Finished, laddie!"

Joe looked up, and Ned stood over him, holding a wig of fine wool hung over his hands, single strands of hair falling gracefully through his fingers. For an hour's work, Joe couldn't help admit that he was definitely impressed at the old sailor's handiwork. "Thanks!" He took it in his hand, slipping it into his pack, he nodded to Ned. But before the man could say anything, he had whisked back out the door towards Aggie's.

Joe knocked on Aggie's door once more, and she opened it for him, and he jumped again to the side, and she smirked. "You're an hour overdue for your skin paste." Joe shrugged. "I know, I know, I know." He walked inside and she walked over to a shelf and pulled a vial full of skin-colored liquid off of it, handing it to him.

Not wanting to waste time, he pulled the wig out of his pack and set it on to the counter, pulling out the yellow dye, and at the same time, putting the skin paste inside. He uncapped the dye, and poured it on to the wig, flipping it over and lifting up the air, and squeezing it hard to remove any excess and to soak it in. Aggie watched in interest until he was finished, and he lifted it up, looking at it in satisfaction.

"Thinking about going blonde?" Aggie raised an eyebrow, and Joe scowled. But, as he was putting away the wig, the edge of his pack tipped over and the vial of skin paste tipped out. He grasped at it, managing to catch it before it hit the ground, but the pink skirt slipped out and landed on the floor.

Aggie looked at it, then the strands of the wig hanging out of his pack, and then at Joe. "Well, Joe, I didn't know - ." Joe shouted. "Shut up!" He gathered up the skirt and stuffed the skin paste roughly into his pack, leaving a cackling Aggie behind.

----------

Joe had all he needed, except for some clay, which he quickly mined from the Varrock mines, along with some tin and copper ore, before hurrying on towards Draynor to meet up with Leela. Unfortunately, she found him. On the north path into Draynor, he was suddenly ambushed and whisked into the brush. As soon as he was let go, he spun around and pointed his scimitar at his attacker

"Good reflexes." Joe flinched, reminded of a certain which. But the person standing in front of him had silver hair, despite the fact that she was young. She was perfectly tanned, and wore tattered, brown clothes and a chrome circlet around her head. "Who are you?" He narrowed his eyes, and she laughed in amusement. "I am Leela, daughter of Osman, and you are Joe Player Killer?"

Joe raised his eyebrows, relaxing and sheathing his sword. "Yeah, was there really any need to be so rough?" Though, in true, he was embarrassed to have been apprehended so easily by a girl. Leela eyed him silently. "I was sent your description and told to wait for you, you are rather late. Do you have the disguise?" Joe nodded, patting his pack.

"Okay, no time to talk. You see that jail?" And she turned around, pointing to a brick building inside a circle of wooden fencing just to their southeast. Joe had seen it, had been watching it silently all day as he passed through Draynor Village, now his suspicions had been confirmed. "The first step is to get a mold of that key. Did you mine some clay to use?" Joe dug in his pocket, pulling out the small ball of clay. "Good, now, it's up to you to get it - Wait!" Suddenly she turned back to the main road, and Joe followed her gaze. But when he looked back at her to ask her what it had been, she was gone, and he left wondering how he'd fallen for that same trick twice now.

So, now he was alone. Joe lifted up the bucket, pressing the clay in his hand, he rolled it around in the small pool of water at the bottom. He set the bucket down, rolling the clay around in his hand to soak the water in. His plan was risky, and he had to do it quickly, but it was the only thing he could think of, and he still wished he'd never taken the job.

The jail was isolated in the middle of a large field to the east of Draynor Village, surrounded by a wooden fence with several openings at random intervals. It was made of grey bricks, and was surrounded by a few nettle patches. Guards armed with clubs circled around it, but unfortunately, they didn't appear as dumb as Osman made them out to be.

Joe took a deep breath, circling around to the southern side of the fence, slipping through an opening and hiding behind one of the lone four pillars on the south side of the jail. Why they were there, he didn't care, but it made for an easy break. The guards paced endlessly around it. And Joe cautiously slipped to the next pillar, and then the top-left pillar. The entrance was on the complete other side of the jail.

Joe looked around, one guard was on the left side of the building, looking out of a fence. He wiped sweat of his brow, and made a mad dash, darting through trees along the west wall of the building. He slid to a stop, trying to control his breathing, between a small cluster of trees that hid him from both the east and west. But he had to move fast, if a guard came too close..

But worst of all, there was one small tree between him and the door, and then there was a total clearing around it. If he didn't get to the door and inside in a second, they would sight him and probably kill him on the spot, and who knows what would happen to Prince Ali, who was assumably inside. But what if he wasn't? Joe's mind flashed with doubt for a moment, but he shook his head, and took the charge.

He flew to the first tree, only bracing himself for a moment, then took a daring leap across the clearing, his feet making almost no noise on the soft grass, and all at once, Joe was pulling the door open and shutting it behind him. He was inside. Joe let out all of his breath at once, opening his eyes, and a crossbow bolt was aiming between his eyes. "How the hell did you get in here?" She narrowed his eyes, and he realized all at once that this was Lady Keli, the Bandit Queen. She wore a revealing, purple shirt and a pink dress, her hair was straight and blonde, and two silver bands were around her wrists.

Joe swallowed, trying not to show his fear, and bowed. "Oh, Lady Keli, it is you!" Keli raised an eyebrow, lowering the crossbow. "My name is Wallace, and I too am a bandit. I was simply walking through Draynor, and, oh, I knew it was you!" She raised her other eyebrow, and he could see her pride in her eyes. "You are famous all over Runescape, Lady Keli! I have always enjoyed your work. Robbing all banks in Asgarnia at once, what a feat!" Lady Keli curtsied slightly, holding her head up proudly.

"Well, I don't like to brag, but I do have a way with my men. They are all fools putty in my hands." She flicked back her hair, and Joe tried to put on his best evil smile. "So, if you don't mind me asking, O Lady Keli," Joe learned toward her and whispered. "What is your latest great, dastardly plan?" Keli laughed in delight, forgetting he was an intruder.

"I have kidnapped Al Kharid's great Prince Ali. I have been asked to retrieve him for a great bounty, and how could I refuse? The security at their palace is so lax, it's pathetic. Of course, my guards aren't much better, but I'm quite sure they'll do." Keli frowned, as if repulsed by any hint of imperfection towards her, so Joe decided to change the subject. "You must have been very skillful, O Lady Keli. But, if you have so little confidence in your guards, how do you know that they won't just let the guards out?"

Lady Keli's eyes flashed for a moment, and Joe winced, but she continued. "Because, I have a key, and they do not. I am not stupid enough to let a bunch of imbeciles like them to be able to let him out." Joe smiled inwardly. "I'm just curious, may I see the key, my Bandit Queen?" She smiled cruelly. "But of course, though I don't know what good it will do." Keli reached into a pocket of her skirt and provided a small key, and Joe's eyes widened.

"I do not wish to impose, O Lady Keli. But my specialty is lock-picking, may I just see it for a moment?" He grasped the soft clay in his pocket, bracing himself. But perhaps the flattery was putting the Bandit Queen in a good mood, for she let him take it gently out of her hand. Then, in the blink of an eye, he took out his other hand and discreetly pressed the key deep into it, hiding the action behind his hands. He slipped the clay down between his fingers, gently dropping the key back into her hand.

Then he put his hand back down to his side, dropping the clay back into his pocket silently. "It isan excellently crafted key." Lady Keli laughed. "Not planning to break into my jail, are you, Mr. Wallace?" Joe cringed, looking for any sign of hostility, but she said it playfully, and he relaxed, hoping she didn't notice.

"Well, Lady Keli. It has been a complete honor to meet you, but, as much as I truly regret it. I must be going." Keli raised an eyebrow suspiciously, extending a hand toward him, and Joe blinked in confusement, then realized. Reluctantly, he bent down, taking her hand in his, and kissed it, hoping she didn't notice his hesitation, she didn't seem to. "Farewell, Lady Keli. Perhaps will be in the same bandit camp together someday." Keli watched him leave emotionlessly.

Joe had already closed the door behind him when he realized the guards were outside. But they had already noticed him, and since he was coming out of the house, they didn't even wonder how he got there, though better guards probably would have. Joe let out a breath and continued out of the nearest opening in the fence, heading into the village.

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After getting a safe distance away from Lady Keli's jail, Joe headed back around toward Al Kharid, taking a quick stop at a public furnace to smelt together his tin and copper ore into the bronze bar Osman had asked for. Joe blew out the flames and removed the bronze bar from the furnace, blowing on it to cool it down, he set it in his pack.

Now, he just had to find Osman, which wasn't as hard as he assumed it would be. He was waiting at the corner of the palace where Joe had seen him before. He looked as if he was expecting him, and with his network of spies, he didn't doubt that he did. Osman bowed to him in greeting, and Joe forced a smile. "I am assuming that you have got the mould of the key?" Joe nodded, digging in his pack.

The small ball of clay had hardened in his pack, the moisture seeping out of it, and the impression of the key was clear and detailed. "Excellent." Joe pulled the bronze bar out of his pack, handing it to him, Osman weighed it in one hand in satisfaction. "Good, that will be all. Leela will have the key ready for you by the time that you reach Draynor." Joe blinked, and Osman looked around cautiously, sticking the bar and the mold in his pocket.

Joe expected him to pull some trick to vanish on him, but Osman simply walked away, vanishing into the throng of people in Al Kharid.

----------

How Osman did it, Joe couldn't say, but he managed to get the finished bronze key to Leela in one piece when she ambushed him in the same spot, but he was ready for her. As she leaped from the brush, he swung around, drawing his scimitar at the same time, pointing it directly at her. She whistled. "Nice job, you'd make a great spy." Joe grunted in response.

Joe followed her into the woods, in she dug into her pockets, pulling out the bronze key, the dying light of the sun dipping below the horizon reflecting off of it. "Okay, here you go. Hurry, the light is failing, and its best if you hurry and finish your task now. People will be going into their homes, there will be no witnesses, and the guards, hopefully, will be getting bored and sleepy." Joe nodded, taking the bronze key out of her hand. This time, there was no trick, he just put the key in his pack and looked back at her, and she was gone.

Before going on with his task, Joe took a quick visit to a nearby bar to buy four mugs of beer, and he was off to Prince Ali's jail, to rescue him from the clutches of Lady Keli.

----------

Joe hid behind a row of trees on the northern side of the house, the clearing where the guards sat around a small campfire plain in his view, the door into the jail illuminated by the glow of the fire. Hopefully, the guards were as dumb as Osman, Leela, and Lady Keli claimed, or else he'd probably walk out of this dead.

But now, he left the shelter of the trees and walked directly towards him. The guards noticed almost immediately, and one stood up, hefting up his club. "Who're you?" And then he blinked. "You're that guy." Joe stared at them. "Who came out of the jail." Joe twitched. "Yeah, just coming back to see Lady Keli."

The fact that he had already been to see Lady Keli, and that he seemed so familiar with her, won the guards over immediately. The guard closest to him patted the grass. "C'mon, sit down with us!" Joe tried to laugh, though he suddenly felt very sorry for Lady Keli. "Actually, I brought some beer, but I'm sure Lady Keli wouldn't mind if I shared some with you fine fellows." The praise made the guards roar with approval, and he passed out the mugs of beer, pretending to drink his own.

An hour later, there were three drunken guards whooping and hollering in front of the jail, rolling on the grass like a couple of maniacs. Joe let out a high raspy cackle. "And then I, then I, hehe, I told him 'That's not a goblin, that's the Pastor!'" They all roared with laughter, and as Joe bent backwards, he quietly dumped his mug of beer into a nettle bush.

One of the guards fell asleep on the ground, and the other began chattering nonsense to eachother, blurry-eyed, they were completely oblivious as he snuck across the clearing towards the door. Softly, he opened it, stepping inside, and a moment later, it snapped shut, nearly decapitating him.

"You! I should have known!" Lady Keli swung out with her long sword, clanging into his armor painfully. Joe stumbled backwards, grasping for his scimitar. "You think I wouldn't hear my oafs for guards getting drunk right outside?" She swung out her sword in an arc, and he parried it, jumping backwards.

Now, it was his turn, as he jabbed his sword forward and slashed across the side of her stomach, and she snarled. "You wouldn't hit a girl, would you?" And she swung her sword blindly forward, and he countered, sending a jolt through the blades. They both stumbled backwards as it travelled down their arms. "I should give you more credit, Wallace." Joe laughed. "Uh-uh, the name's Joe!"

Joe ducked again as she swung out her sword, and he leaped behind her, and there was a small voice that echoed from the closed cell. "Hello? What's going on?" Keli stumbled, and Joe took his chance, sliding the curve of his sword under Keli's blade, he flipped it around hers, flinging it out of her hands. She growled, running for it, but he kicked the back of her knees, and she flew forward with a cry, knocking her head against the wall.

"Sorry, but I'm one of those guys who hits girls." Joe smiled grimly, panting. He kneeled down and pulled her up by the shoulders and dragged her over to a chair, which he slid her on to awkwardly. "Now.." He took the coil of rope from his pack, tying it around her gently, trying not to wake her, and he tied a knot nice and tight at the back.

"That should do." Joe rubbed his hands together, and someone yelled from not far away once again. "Hello? Is there anybody there?" There was fear in the voice. "Prince Ali!" Joe hurried over to the cell, fumbling for the copy of the key, he stuck it in the lock and swung open the door. A man looked up at him.

Prince Ali was dressed in the distinct purple shirt and orange pants, the colors of Al Kharid, along with a red cape. But all of it was torn, and smeared with dirt, and he was deathly pale, even under the customary deep tan of Kharidians. "Prince Ali, Hassan hired me to rescue you." Joe extended his hand, and the Prince looked at it for a moment with shaky eyes, and then took hold of it with a surprisingly good grip for his condition.

"Now, I have the guards outside intoxicated, but we'll need to get you into a disguise." The Prince looked at him in bewilderment as he pulled out a blonde wig, a pink skirt, and a jar full of skin paste, but when Joe looked at him, he nodded enthusiastically. Joe handed him the skirt, which he slipped over his normal pants, and he leaned forward to rub the skin paste over his face carefully.

Then, the Prince slipped the wig over his head and Joe tried to hide a smile. Though Ali certainly still held his masculine traits, this would surely do for three drunken guards. So, they both slipped outside and around the guards into the night. The guards paid them little mind until they thought about it the next morning as Lady Keli screamed upon waking.

----------

Prince Ali and Joe had spent the night at Lumbridge, much to Bob's astonishment, for Joe felt it best they wait until morning. But at the crack of dawn, Bob woke them and they set off at a fast pace for the desert city. They went around to the north entrance of the desert, so as to not be noticed at the toll gate, but long before noon, they arrived at the Palace of Al Kharid. But this time, Joe didn't look for Osman, but led the Prince into the room that he had seen Hassan in when he had first arrived.

"Hassan!"

The Chancellor appeared after a few moments from around the corner, looking irritated. "The King is – sweet soaring Saradomin!" Hassan exclaimed loudly, bowing down and worshipping the floor that Prince Ali walked. He looked at Joe awkwardly and he shrugged. "Umm.." Hassan looked up at him, and his face brightened. "Oh yes, your reward!" Joe shook his head, "Actually, that's not what I - ." But Hassan ignored him.

But the Chanceller ignored him, delving into a chest at the end of the room and pulling out a leather bag, showing him the contents, and Joe's eyes glazed over. "Seven hundred gold coins, all for you, great Player Killer! You shall be remembered and revered in Al Kharid for years to come as the savior of Prince Ali! I shall tell the guards at the toll gate that you shall forevermore have free passage between here and Lumbridge!" Joe's ears perked up.

"For free?"