CHAPTER 11
His face is decomposing. I give him a second to get the shock, just like it took me a little time to get it.
"Do you want me to kick his ass ?", he softly asks, eventually.
"What ? No, no. No, thanks". That would have been funny, if I didn't know that Rhydian just might have killed Seth, however tall and wide Seth looks. Rhydian is simply a wolfblood.
"Then I dont' know what you expect me to say or to do. You two are like, together, right ?"
"Kind of.", I sigh. I suppose I cannot deny it. We are certainly becoming used to kissing.
"Can't we stay friends ? Is he a jealous guy, something like that ?", Seth chutters.
I stay muet. Can't we stay friends ? Of course we can stay friends. The problem is, I realise, we are not just friends.
"Are you leaving me, Maddy ? ", he whispers, almost unhearable. The vulnerability and the pain in his voice break my heart. These words did not fit perfectly, but he is right. There is more. I lied to myself, I lied to Rhydian, I lied to my parents, I lied to Seth. Here we were. Fucking classical love triangle, again. We had Jana's one, now that is Seth to play. We were becoming really pathetic. Just sounded oh-so-Twilight-and preadolescent-thing. It makes me want to throw up. But I cannot help it. His words echo the ones I had earlier. And this is what I cannot and do not want to afford.
"Listen to me, Seth" He finally shows me his face and I really have to focus not to cry or hug him because of the pain I see in it. "I am never ever leaving you." As I say them, I realise how true these words are. That is how my parents raised me. That boy is the only one, probably in the whole universe, that will never make me cry. And that has always been there for me, even at 4 a.m., by a cold night, in the dark woods. I owe him this. It is first a gratitude issue. After that, comes the fact that I do adore him. Not in the way I love Rhydian, but still. I love Seth. The way he makes me laugh, the way he smiles. Either he does his shy smile, the little cute one on the side, when I kiss him on the cheek or when he gets a compliment or when he wants to show that he understands somebody. Either it is the bright huge one, the "I'm sexy and I know it" or the "You just made my day, Mads" and then he cannot stop laughing for five minutes. I love the ability that he has to change my bad mood in the happiest on Earth like he was the Sun itself. That is easily seen in his eyes. Their color is simply indescriptible. Kind of melting honey under the Sun and warm nuttles otherway. Being with him is like breathing. Natural and essential. He does not even search but finds the perfect words, he does not even try but knows how to hold me or how to put his hands on me to make me breath calmly or in the contrary to turn me on. That flirty thing between us, that sexual sparkle is just the red cherry on the top of the huge beautiful cake of our friendship. I feel like I have known him for ages, not three months.
"You're with that guy, don't you dare say this to make me feel good", he hisses.
"Yes, I'm with Rhydian, but I am not leaving you. I don't know yet if he's jealous or not, but frankly I don't give a shit. He will have to deal with it. With our friendship. With us. As long as you want it, we can still be the best friends on earth. I...I don't want to lose you.", I finally say, blushing. It might be complicated sometimes, but I am intimely convinced we could make it. I would keep the butter, the butter's money and the smile of the crèmière, like would say grand ma'.
"Really Maddy ?"
"I swear, baby."
He smiles, relieved. I rush in his arms, so glad to finally touch him, now that I know we are okay. His arms look like they have been drawn by Michaelo-Angelo himself, but I know that basketball and swimming made that. He holds me tight and I almost suffocate, when he plants a kiss in my neck and quickly retreats, before I understand anything and before he turns me on like he knows his kisses in my neck do.
"Seth !", I yell, falsely outraged.
"What ? You're not gonna tell me that that implies I can't touch you anymore, are you ?", he grins.