The Evil stick had to change the summary a bit. There was a clear warning about a shirtless Master Bob, but it is only fair to warn about the nature of the disease and the implied promiscuity. It's a little raunchy for young teens…

Thanks to Hiro Mashima again for his creative genius, whom I have no affiliation with whatsoever!

Itchy! Itchy! Itchy! Burn! Burn!

"FUCK THAT!" Gajeel stomped around the Fairy Tail guild and slammed his fists on the table that Jet and Droy were sitting at, effectively scaring them half to death.

"There's no need for the theatrics, Gajeel" Master took a calm sip of his beer. "Just sniff them out so Levy and Freed can quarantine them. Then we'll have to find a way to transport them to receive treatment from Wendy."

"Why am I the one who has to track the women that Seith Freak went to have lunch with?!" Gajeel pointed an angry finger to the stone statue of Bickslow.

"We have to make sure that this disease doesn't spread any further and our other two Dragon Slayers are at Blue Pegasus right now. You are the only one who can track them." Pantherlily stood on the bar next to the Master peeling a kiwi.

"I'm sure they won't be nearly as hard to quarantine as Bickslow was. All we have to do is explain to them that their life is in danger and they will most likely come along willingly." Levy smiled sweetly "You just point them out and I'll be the one to talk to them. If they become difficult, Freed will catch them in runes."

Gajeel crossed his arms over his chest "Fine."

"Levy!" Jet and Droy wailed at the touching moment between the two.

Freed approached Levy and Gajeel, "I've just finished setting up the runes that confines Bickslow to the wagon he is in. I found it convenient so I asked Laki to make another one to transport the women." He gestured to a larger wooden wagon.

Gajeel growled "I'm not pulling that thing with those diseased women behind me."

"Pardon, I can take care of that for you," Reedus lifted his shirt and happily painted two purple warthogs on his belly. Two large boars appeared in front of the wagon already strapped and attached to the cart.

Gajeel nodded at Reedus and looked to the others, "Lets go while the scents still linger."

Freed thanked Reedus and followed Gajeel with the wagon being pulled by the large warthogs.

"Thank you, Reedus!" Levy waved as she after the others.

Laxus walked up behind Reedus, "Can you make a pig for Bickslow's wagon, too? I don't want to haul his ass all the way to Blue Pegasus."

"Oui!" Reedus lifted his shirt and drew one more warthog that appeared in front of Bickslow's cart.

Laxus gave a short nod to Reedus "Thanks." He hated those pigs, but they were useful sometimes.

"I can manage the guild myself, Mira. Don't forget that I took good care of everything during those 7 years you guys were gone." Kinana was looking at the long list of duties on the to-do list that Mira gave her.

"Mira, I think you and Laxus should get going now. Don't worry about the bar, it's Blue Pegasus that you should be worrying about." The Master gestured to Kinana for a mug refill.

"Yes, Master. Listen to Kinana and don't make me angry when I'm away." Mira picked up her bag and placed it on Bickslow's wagon.

"Are you ready to go now?" Laxus gruffly asked.

Mira giggled, "Almost." She pointed to the stone statue of Bickslow.

Laxus grumbled. "Ever!" he called over to the table where Evergreen sat with Elfman. "Can you unstone him now?"

"Sure, Laxus. I won't let Bix stay like that forever, even though he looks better as a statue." She pulled out her fan and started fanning herself as Bickslow unpetrified.

Bickslow looked around at his surroundings as he scratched at his belly, "Hey! I don't want to be behind this pig the whole way!"

As if on cue, the pig ripped a gnarly fart that gagged Bickslow.

"You should have thought of that before you made us chase you through Magnolia," Evergreen snickered behind her fan.

Elfman nodded in agreement, "Take it like a man!"

"Itchy! Itchy! Itchy! Burn! Burn!" the wooden souls floated around Bickslow as he continued to scratch his body.

"Lets go. I want to make this trip short." Laxus walked out the front doors with the warthog pulling Bickslow behind it.

Mira waved to her guild mates as she left "Don't worry, I'll take good care of our allies!"

The rest of the Fairies eagerly watched as Laxus and Mira disappeared down the road.

"Place all bets here!" Cana waved cash in the air, "How many Blue Pegasus members will die and how will they meet their end?!"

"800 jewel says Ichiya will be killed by Erza!"

"500 jewel for Hibiki dying by STD!"

"300 jewel on Demon Mira killing Jenny Realight!"

"600 jewel on Laxus electrocuting at least 2 of the Trimens!"

*SLAM* The Master slammed an enlarged fist on the bar top.

Everyone paused as they saw a very serious Makarov standing on the bar.

"1000 jewel says they all will burn to death when Natsu sets the building on fire!" the short Master held his cash up in the air and everyone continued trying to profit on their own predictions.

At Blue Pegasus:

"Are you trying to freeze them to death, Jerk?" Natsu was looking down on the patients who were shivering on hard ice cots.

"The ice cots are keeping their temperatures down and I wouldn't have needed to make them if some asshole didn't burn all of the cots in the first place!" Gray shoved his forehead against Natsu's.

"Erza told me to burn all of the dirty cots!"

"She didn't mean the ones that were being used!"

"Enough!" Erza slammed their heads together. "Get back to work!"

"It's alright, guys. I can call out Aries and she would be happy to make wool beds for everyone." Lucy smiled as she pulled out her key. "Open! Gate of the ram!"

* Poof * A black and blue Aries appeared sprawled out on the floor scratching at her open sores. Patches of wool had fallen out where sores had formed and her eyes were bloodshot from the lack of sleep.

"ARIES?!" The group stared at her sad state.

"I-I'm s-sorry," she weakly apologized.

"The disease is spreading through the celestial world, too? Is there anyone else sick?" Lucy began to panic.

"Just me and Loke are sick, Princess" Aries whispered in a weak voice.

Lucy grumbled "Figures. Why did I even ask?"

"I don't get it. How does a spirit catch a STD?" Natsu scratched his head.

"You're such a dumbass. STD is short for sexually transmitted disease." Grey checked Aries head for a temperature and made a curved, forehead-sized ice pack for her head.

"I still don't get it…" Natsu sat cross-legged on the ground mulling over the situation.

"Don't hurt yourself," Grey rolled his eyes at Natsu.

"We mustn't focus on how they all got infected," Erza paused and then shivered at the thought. "We must focus on their care and continue supporting Wendy as she heals them."

"Speaking of Wendy, she's handling the situation like a champ." Lucy looked over to where Wendy was healing the black and blue Master Bob. Lucy got a little queasy remembering the sponge bath.

"Wendy! Can you come heal Aries real quick?" Erza yelled over to the young girl who was talking to a semi-conscious Master Bob.

As soon as Wendy was done she came over and healed Aries without question. "There. Just send her back to the spirit world so she can recover her strength. It should only take about 10 Earth minutes."

"Thank you, Wendy" Lucy closed Aries' gate right after she warned her not to have sex with Loke until this mission is concluded.

"Are you gonna call out Loke so I can heal him too?" Wendy asked with a concerned voice.

Erza placed a hand on her small shoulder "You're handing this mission as a mature adult would. I'll make sure to mention this to Master when we are through."

Wendy beamed at the compliment, but her happy moment was short lived.

"Open, gate of the Lion!"

*poof* Loke appeared on the floor in shades of black and red. He was only in boxers so the extent of his injuries were seen by every one. He had gangrene in both feet, blood was seeping out of his eyes and ears and his swollen black tongue was hanging out of his mouth as he wheezed shallow breaths. Bone was exposed on the back of his hands, his elbow, and chin from the loss of tissue. Everyone watched in horror as he started hacking and coughed up a bloody glob of puss.

"Gross," Grey cringed at the sight of his friend.

"He stinks…" Natsu held a hand to his nose.

"If a human had those injuries, they would surely be dead," Erza stared wide-eyed at her former comrade.

Wendy held a straight face and began the healing process, "He may have only caught the disease this afternoon in our timeline, but somehow the disease works faster in the stellar world. Since he's a spirit, the disease won't kill him, but his health will continue to deteriorate if he's not healed."

"He's going to need a sponge bath, Lucy!" Happy exclaimed while floating above the celestial mage who was trying to hold down the bile rising in her throat.

"There, the virus is out of his system and I healed his lungs. He's still going to need a few days in the celestial world to fully heal. Try to keep his gate closed, Lucy." Wendy wiped the sweat off her brow. She would never complain, but healing Loke took a lot of her magic energy.

"Easier said than done. If he knew we were at Blue Pegasus then he would open his own gate so he could hang out with his old friends. Don't be surprised if we see him again in just a few hours." Lucy swung her golden key and Loke phased back into the stellar world.

"Wendy, how many more can you do?" Doranbolt asked as he walked up to her holding a clipboard. "There are about 9 more critical patients that need immediate attention and 17 more that can wait about 4 hours or more."

"You're pushing her too hard! She's just a little girl!" Carla hovered over his shoulder making demands to back off of her Dragon Slayer.

"Could you please ask your cat to stop following me and to please stop yelling in my ear?" he gave Carla a dirty look while tapping the pen against the clipboard.

"Mr. Doranbolt is making sure that the most severe cases are being taken care of first so there is no casualties," Wendy softly explained to her overprotective exceed. Wendy looked to Doranbolt, "I'm sure I can heal the most critical and then I will take a 3 hour break."

Doranbolt smiled at Wendy's determination "Okay, the ones that need to be healed first are over here." He draped his arm over her tiny shoulders and gave Carla a smug look as he escorted her to the next patients.

"HEY! WATCH YOUR HAN-!" Wendy started yelling but Erza grabbed her tail before she could follow.

"I know your worried about Wendy, but she's fine for now. I need you and Happy to go to the guild kitchen to make her some diner so she will recover her magic energy quicker." Erza turned toward the others "Lucy, call out Aries again and make cotton cots for the patients who are on ice."

Blue Pegasus Kitchen:

"I have some fish in my backpack," Happy announced as he and Carla made their way to the kitchen.

"A few sandwiches and some fresh air would be best for Wendy to help her recover," Carla pouted as she floated.

As they two exceeds open the large doors to the kitchen they were surprised to see Eve in the kitchen making out with another guild member. They stopped making out and eyed the two exceeds.

The female guild member bounded over to Happy cooing "Oh! Such a cute kitty cat!" She pinched his cheeks and kissed him on the cheek.

"White Cat," Eve took her tiny hand. "You are more luscious and pure than the first snowflake of the winter season."

"Back off, Whore! Your lesions still haven't healed! And you two were just swapping spit so why are you flirting with us?" Carla turned up her nose.

Happy used his paws to push his head out of the woman's bandaged cleavage, "We are here to get food for Wendy so she can keep her magic strength up."

The woman released him, "Well, in that case. We'll help you make her a wholesome soup."

"And I will make her a tea that restores energy," Eve started digging through the cupboards.

Back in the Blue Pegasus guild hall:

Lucy and Aries finished shaping the last of the cotton beds as Erza and Grey lifted patients from their ice cots onto their pink cotton beds. Natsu grumbled as he dragged the melting ice cots outside to destroy.

"Thank you, Aries. Do you need me to change your bandages before your gate is closed?" Lucy asked her recovering spirit.

"Sorry, Princess. Virgo has been taking care of me and Loke as we heal. I'm sorry," the celestial spirit apologized sadly.

"It's okay, just focus on healing now." Lucy closed the gate and leaned against the wall "Ugh, I'm exhausted from opening and closing all of these gates."

Erza nodded at the blond, "Take a rest, Lucy. Grey, Natsu, you're on bandage duty. Starting with this patient," she pointed to the patient at the end of the line.

Grey and Natsu headed to the patient that Erza pointed at.

"Great, we now we have to change the bandages on an old lady," Grey grumbled as he started removing the old, bloody bandages from the woman's leg.

Natsu sniffed and stiffened, "Th-this isn't an old lady…"

"Ooooh, don't you boys look scrumptious," Master Bob's voice rang out and gave the two rivals chills to the bone. "Make sure you handle every appendage with care," he winked at the boys.

Just as they were both about to turn and run, they both felt an armored hand roughly grasp their shoulder.

"Just where do you two think you are going?" Erza tightened her grip on each of their shoulders. "You heard the man, change every bandage carefully."

Master Bob giggled in delight as Natsu and Grey started unwrapping his soaked bandages with shaking hands.

Let this be a lesson. ALWAYS USE PROTECTION! The Evil Stick is aware that the time difference between the celestial world and earth is skewed, but it was just to spice up the story. There really isn't an STD the kills people within 48 hours either. REVIEW and follow this story, or better yet, FOLLOW The Evil Stick! While you're waiting for the next chapter: "Recurrence," check out my short stories.