The Evil Stick would like to apologize for the length of time it took to update. As always, the profanity filters have been turned off so feel free to flame! Hope you enjoy this chapter.
Disappointed
Carla smiled as she cuddled up to the warm body next to her. After Wendy healed Doranbolt last night, she took her dragon slayer to their bedroom suite to sleep and they cuddled like every other normal night. Dawn was breaking and she sighed at the warmth coming from both sides of her body. Wait, why is she warm on both sides of her body…?
*sniff sniff*
*sniff sniff*
Carla froze when she heard two people sniffing her. No one else was in the room with her and Wendy when they went to bed last night.
"Men…"
"Men… I detect the scent of feline desire…"
Carla's eyes snapped open to take in the sight of Ichiya's and Nichiya's sore ridden faces each cuddled up to her with their faces in her face.
"AAAAH! WHY ARE YOU PERVERTS IN OUR ROOM?!" The conservative exceed scrambled to cover her nightgown with the sheets. "WHERE'S WENDY?!"
Both parfume lovers knelt on the bed proudly displaying their tighty-whiteys while golden sparkles danced within their auras. They didn't seem to pay mind to the fact that they were obviously infected with the deadly STD that ravaged their guild.
Nichiya struck a pose with his Earthland counterpart, "Oh beautiful fallen exceed, you have come to our room in the middle of the night. We would hardly be men if we didn't give you what you desired."
"Double handsome attack!" Their smooth voices echoed together and filled the room with blinding sparkles before they both leaned in for a kiss simultaneously with their bruised and bleeding lips.
*SHOOM* Carla used her mach speed to slip out from between them and rush out of the room.
"AUGHHH!" Carla screamed in horror as she sped down the hall towards her own room.
She burst into their room to find Doranbolt sipping coffee at the table next to the bed.
"Good morning, kitty cat. Did you sleep well?" Doranbolt smirked proudly.
"I KNEW YOU WOULD BE HERE! WENDY THIS PERVERT TELEPORTED ME TO ANOTHER ROOM THIS MORNING!"
Wendy sat up in her bed, "Carla, what are you yelling about? Mr. Doranbolt would never do something like that." She rubbed her eyes sleepily.
"Awww… did kitty wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?" He stood up and handed a glass of water to the dragon slayer.
Wendy smiled at Doranbolt and took a sip of water, "Carla, can we get through the day without you accusing Doranbolt of something crazy? Please?" The small dragon slayer's voice was laced with disappointment.
"But… you have no idea of the horror I woke up to…" Carla wrapped her arms around herself and shivered. She didn't need to use her powers of premonition to see that the image of matching troll face's and double morning wood will cause a serious case of insomnia for the rest of her life.
"It was just a dream, kitty. I assure you that both of you were sleeping peacefully when I arrived a few minutes ago." Doranbolt used his soothing voice on the exceed as he helped Wendy out of bed.
Carla shook with anger, "Fine, but he must leave while you get dressed, Child."
"Of course, I was on my way out to check on her breakfast." The councilman walked by with a smug look on his face.
Carla growled as he passed. 'Perhaps he didn't learn his lesson when he was trampled last night…'
In the guest suite across the hall:
Natsu was having a wonderful dream about fishing wish Happy. He was laughing loudly in his sleep which woke most of his roommates.
Laxus rubbed his eyes, "Fucking loudmouth."
"Loudmouth. Loudmouth. Loudmouth. Loudmouth. Loudmouth." Bickslow's wooden dolls chanted.
"How dare you wake Laxus!" Freed tried to tuck his leader back in, but Laxus smacked his hands away.
"Dammit, Salamander!" Gajeel used his iron fist to punch him in the jaw.
"AHHH!" The sudden punch caused Natsu to wake with a startle and shoot his fire breath everywhere in his path.
*FIZZ* Natsu's flames were flying all throughout the room and setting things on fire.
Happy started screaming, "GRAY! PUT OUT THE FIRE!"
Freed ducked under one of the beds, "GRAY! DO SOMETHING!"
Laxus jumped out of bed and karate chopped Natsu on the top of his head, knocking the dragon slayer unconscious.
Gajeel got up and started stomping out the fires throughout the room. "Idiot! I should have slept outside in one of the trees."
Freed dragged himself out from under the bed, "I can't believe Gray and Bickslow slept through that. If it wasn't for Laxus's quick thinking, he would have burned down the entire Blue Pegasus guild." His eyes filled with tears over the thought of his leader's bravery.
Happy walked over to Gray's sleeping bag and shook him, "Gray, why didn't you help?"
Gajeel stomped over to Gray's sleeping bag and gave him a hard iron kick. "Gihi!" The iron dragon took a few steps back and prepared himself for a fight with the ice maker, but his smirk faded when he realized that Gray was still sleeping. "Huh? What the hell is wrong with you?"
Gajeel reached down and grabbed the blanket that was wrapped around Gray's body and pulled it away.
"Gross!" Happy held his hands to his stomach over the sight of an unconscious Gray covered in bruises and open wounds that were oozing green puss.
"Ugh!" Laxus ran a hand through his hair in frustration before he began barking orders. "Freed, check on Gray. Bickslow, go get Wendy. Gajeel, make me lots of coffee."
"I'm not you're coffee boy!"
Laxus glared at the iron dragon and the air began to fill with static.
"Hmph!" Gajeel stomped out of the room, "I guess I could use some coffee too."
Freed began checking Gray's temperature, "LAXUS! GRAY IS DEAD! HIS BODY IS ICE COLD!"
"GRAY IS DEAD?!" Happy started crying over his comrade's dead body.
The five wooden dolls echoed sadly, "Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead."
Laxus rolled his eyes, "He's always ice cold. Did you check his pulse?"
"Oh…" Freed turned red with embarrassment as he felt an unmistakable pulse. "Sorry, false alarm."
Happy dried his tears, "Of course the ice mage has a cold body. I forgot." The blue exceed laughed at the morbid misunderstanding.
Laxus grumbled at the annoying show of emotions and kicked the bed Bickslow was sleeping in. "Stop being lazy, Bickslow! We need Wendy!"
Pantherlily floated over to the bed, "Bickslow?" His tiny hands shook the sleeping seith mage, "What's wrong?"
Laxus glared at Bickslow's unmoving form, "Bix, you better not be sick agai-"
"ITCHY! ITCHY! ITCHY! BURN! BURN!" the dolls confirmed the lightning dragon's suspicion.
Laxus's large body shook with anger, "Pantherlily, check on Bickslow. Happy, go get Wendy."
"Aye!" The blue exceed raced away to find the blue haired sky dragon slayer.
In the guest suite next door:
"Time to wake up, girls." Erza's stern voice tore Lucy from her much needed beauty sleep.
"Noooo…" Lucy whined and she noted stirring in the bed next to her.
Levy sat up in the bed and smiled while shaking her best friend lightly, "Don't you love mornings, Lu-chan?" Levy slipped out of bed and skipped to the bathroom to brush her teeth and change out of her pajamas.
Lucy groaned, "Why can't I be a morning person like you guys?" She ungracefully rolled out of bed onto a person who was in a sleeping bag next to the bed. "Oh, Mira! I forgot you were sleeping here! I'm so sorry."
Erza helped Lucy off of Mira, "That's funny; Mira is almost always up before me."
Mira rubbed her eyes and sat up, "I don't feel very good."
Lucy and Erza's eyes popped out of their heads when they saw the condition that Mira was in. She had bruises all over her face, arms, and hands. The she-demon unconsciously started scratching at her chest when she stretched.
Erza stuttered, "M- Mira, did you happen to s- s- sleep with anyone?"
"What? Of course not, Silly." Mira continued to scratch at her back.
Lucy stared, "Um, you might want to look in the mirror."
Mira looked at them, confused. She stood up and walked over to the mirror. "Wha- what happened to my face?" She examined her arms and lifted her nightgown to check her legs, but all she saw were bruises.
"NOOOO! HOW DID I GET INFECTED?! THIS ISN'T FAIR! I HAVEN'T GOTTEN LAID IN YEARS!" Mira fell to her knees crying.
Levy came running out of the bathroom to see what the screaming was about and she covered her mouth in shock when she saw a bruised up Mira sitting on the floor crying.
Lucy's knees shook, "Do you think the disease has gone airborne?"
Levy shook her head, "No, Mira is in the early stages of the disease. If it was airborne then we would be showing signs of it too. She must have been infected right before she went to sleep or during the night."
Erza helped Mira off the floor, "She couldn't have been infected during the night because she was here with all of us."
Levy put a hand on the demon's shoulder, "Don't worry, Mira. We'll figure it out and make sure it doesn't happen to anyone else."
Erza slammed Mira's face into her metal armored breasts and started barking orders, "Here, cry onto my chest for comfort. Lucy, bring Wendy here to heal Mira. Levy, get me some more coffee."
Levy and Lucy looked at each other, both reluctant to leave Mira to be comforted by the scarlet haired mage. "Okay," they answered simultaneously and went to do their respective duties. Neither would dare to defy her orders.
In the halls of Blue Pegasus:
"Hi Lucy!" Happy floated to catch up with his teammate. "I didn't notice you at first since I thought you were that chubby girl from Mermaid Heel."
"Your fat jokes are getting old, cat!"
Happy snickered, "Have you seen Wendy? I checked her room this morning, but no one was there."
Lucy sighed, "No, I'm looking for her too. Mira woke up showing signs of the disease and we have no idea of how she got it."
"Mira got it?" Happy looked surprised, "Well, I'm surprised you didn't get it Lucy. Since you looove Loke."
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!"
The mischievous exceed snickered again. Before Lucy was about to kill him, a door opened and Loke came out wearing nothing but his underwear. "Hello, Princess," he smiled seductively as he bowed.
Lucy's jaw dropped. Loke's entire body was covered in oozing sores and bruises and he was openly scratching at his wounds.
"Good timing, Loke! Lucy was just talking about how much she loooves you!"
Lucy grabbed Happy by the tail and growled in his face, "Do you want to die today?"
Loke laughed, "I've been up all night, but I'll always have enough energy for you, Lucy."
Lucy lifted her key, "FORCE-"
"Wait!" Loke stopped her from forcing his gate closed, "I need Wendy to heal me before I go back to the spirit world!"
Lucy shook with anger, "Fine! I won't close your gate yet. But not because you asked, I'm doing this to protect Aries and the other spirits."
Loke readjusted his glasses. "Okay, let's go find Wendy then."
"Put some clothes on first!"
"But Princess, it hurts my sores to wear clothes…" Loke whined.
Lucy's eyebrow twitched, "That's your own fault. You knew there was a dangerous STD outbreak at Blue Pegasus and yet you still snuck through your gate to screw around!"
Loke gave a wavering smile, "I was smart this time! I stayed in this world so Wendy could heal me!"
"If you were smart, you would have waited a day before coming back to Blue Pegasus!" Lucy growled.
Happy snickered one last time, "I think you're jealooous."
"LUCY KICK!"
In the kitchen of Blue Pegasus:
*SMASH* *SMASH* *SMASH* Gajeel was pounding coffee beans on the counter with his iron mallet.
"Gajeel!" Levy yelled to get his attention. "Why aren't you using the coffee grinder?"
The iron dragon scoffed in annoyance, "I ate it for dinner last night! Coffee flavored metal tastes good!"
Levy pinched the bridge of her nose, "That explains why the coffee grinders go missing at the guild all the time…" Levy went to prepare the coffee brewer.
*SMASH* *SMASH* *SMASH* Gajeel went back to smashing coffee beans into tiny grounds.
"Ugh! So noisy…" Levy pulled out her pen and wrote the word 'SILENCE' and the noise Gajeel was making went silent. "Ah, much better," The small script mage smiled to herself and went back to preparing Erza's coffee.
Carla came through the kitchen doors, "What on earth is all that noise in here?"
Levy dumped the coffee grinds into the coffee maker, "Hi, Carla. Everyone is looking for Wendy. Have you seen her?"
Carla huffed, "Yes, Natsu burned all of the tables and chairs in the dining room so we're sitting at the bar having breakfast in the main hall. If you ask me, that Doranbolt is sitting too close to her. It's inappropriate for a young girl to be sitting so close to a man twice her age. Did you know that he teleported me to Ichiya's and Nichiya's room this morning?"
Levy peeked out through the window of the kitchen door, "Carla, they aren't even sitting that close to each other. I think it's all in your head."
Gajeel leaned over the white exceed with a smooth smirk on his face, "It's okay, we won't tell anyone that you snuck into their room last night."
"Wh- what?!" Carla stuttered, "I would never!"
Levy and Gajeel continued to poke her and tease her about Nichiya. They didn't notice the other three come into the kitchen from the side door.
"WHAT?!" Happy sat on top of Loke's head in shock.
Carla was completely red with anger and embarrassment. "It's not how it sounds! I just woke up in their bed!"
Loke caught Happy as he fainted.
Lucy sighed, "Carla, you might want to get checked by Wendy to make sure that you don't have the disease."
Carla's jaw dropped, "B- but, I-!"
Loke gave a warm smile to the white exceed, "It's okay Carla. It's perfectly natural to have sex. Don't be ashamed of it."
Gajeel patted Carla roughly on the head as she fumed with anger.
Levi poured a cup of coffee for Erza and turned to Lucy, "Wendy is in the main hall. Let's get her and take her to Mira."
Back in Magnolia:
Elfman and Evergreen hid behind the bushes in front of the apartment that he shares with his two sisters. They watched as Lisanna unlocked the door and went inside.
"You idiot!" Evergreen smacked him on the head with her fan. "You said that no one is ever here during the day."
"Well, NORMALLY nobody is here! Since Mira is on a mission, she must have gotten bored at the guild or something. What are we going to do now?"
Evergreen pinched his ear and tugged it downward toward the ground then she slammed her knee into his face. When Elfman's hands went up to his nose, she stomped the pointed heel of her shoe onto the top of his foot and twisted it until she could hear a sickening crunching sound. Finally, she grabbed him by the hair so she could yell in his face, "I'M GOING TO GET WHAT I WANT NO MATTER WHAT!"
Elfman held his nose and hopped on one foot, "What the fuck was all that for?!"
"Come on!" She started to pull him by the arm, "We are going to my place! Erza isn't here so she can't stop us!"
Back in the girl's room at Blue Pegasus:
Mira continued to cry even though Wendy was healing her. "I swear, I didn't do anything to deserve this…" Her bruises began to clear up and the itching had stopped.
Happy hung dejectedly in Lucy's arms, "Erza, I was sent to tell you that Gray and Bickslow are sick too."
Erza's eyebrow twitched, "I must say I am disappointed in those two."
Loke hovered over the sky dragon slayer, "Wendy, can you heal me next?"
Erza put a sword to Loke's belly, "If Wendy has to heal you again, I will spill your intestines and choke you with your colon until you are sent back to the spirit world."
Gajeel watched Erza threaten Loke with mild interest until he caught the scent of someone unfamiliar. He sniffed the air and followed the scent to the dresser and opened one of the drawers. Then he took a large whiff before he noticed the contents and blushed.
Lucy stared at Gajeel before she spoke up, "Gajeel, why are you smelling Mira's panties?"
Loke rushed over to look in the drawer.
*SLAM!* Erza kicked both Gajeel and Loke through the wall.
"GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" The scarlet haired mage was running out of patience.
"Hmph!" Carla turned her nose up at them, "Men can be such dirty animals."
Doranbolt cleared his throat, "Speaking of dirty animals… Carla, don't you need to be healed by Wendy?"
"WHAT? HOW DARE YOU, YOU SCAR-FACED PEDOFILE!"
Levy chimed in, "Oh, that's right! Wendy slept in Nichiya's room last night."
Happy fainted into Lucy's arms.
"Carla…" Erza hissed through clenched teeth. Her aura emitted dark streaks of energy before she finally lost her temper, "THAT'S IT! EVERYONE GATHER EVERY MEMBER OF BLUE PEGASUS AND MEET ME IN THE MAIN HALL FOR A MANDATORY SEX-ED COURSE IN 30 MINUTES! IF ANYONE TRIES TO GIVE ANY EXCUSES FOR NOT ATTENDING THEN THEY WILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH ME PERSONALLY!"
All of the Fairy Tail members scrambled to prepare for the meeting while Erza sat down and sipped on her coffee, "I think I'm the perfect person to knock some sense into these irresponsible youths."
Erza means business! What about Evergreen and Elfman? What are they up to and why was Evergreen so abusive? What did Gajeel smell in the dresser drawer? Find out in the special chapter, Professor Erza's Mandatory Sex-Ed Class!
Do you want a member of Blue Pegasus to die in "Wendy's First S-Class Mission"? Vote in the evil poll!