Chapter 20:

Pins and Needles:

Harry sighed and ran his fingers through his unruly hair as they waited for Poppy in a private room in the infirmary. She had been by and retrieved samples of Severus' blood, and with a little coaxing and a lot of reassurance, Abbey's as well. She was now off running tests and for all Harry knew, isolating Severus' signature for the potion they would be making.

"Severus?" Harry asked after a moment.

"Yes?"

"I – I just realized that you used your wand when you found me…" Harry said turning to look at him, an expression of wonder on his face. "When you showed me your memories in the Pensieve. An-and yesterday when you locked me out, there was a magical barrier on the door as well." He paused and smiled at Severus hopefully. "Do you think it's possible? Do you think your magic is coming back on its own?"

Severus sighed heavily. "Harry, I…" he began, but broke off and looked up when the door opened.

"Mister Potter," Poppy said, noting Abbey was still with them, not having gone off for lunch with Dobby yet. "Can I see you outside for a moment?"

Harry looked to Severus, but the man only nodded, so he rose and followed Poppy out into the main room of the infirmary. "Yes?" he asked after a moment, noticing the witch seemed nervous. Poppy fidgeted a bit more, wringing her hands. "Please," Harry said his anxiety building. "Just tell me what's wrong. Did you find something?"

Poppy sighed heavily, looking worried and anxious as she nodded. "Please, come with me to my office…"

Swallowing dryly, Harry followed. "W-what did you find?" he asked uneasily as she motioned him to a chair and he sat down slowly.

She sighed and waved her wand causing a set of charts, graphs and read outs to appear in pink above her desk. "These," she said sadly. "Are the results from Severus' blood," she continued and pointed to a graph that had fifteen points on it; not only were there too few, but Harry knew that the points that were there were supposed to be connected, yet they were not. It looked as though someone had physically ripped the strand apart.

"Is that?" Harry asked, swallowing hard.

"What's left of Severus' signature?" Poppy asked and Harry nodded. "Yes."

Harry sobbed, tears coming to his eyes as he looked at the graphs still shimmering over Poppy's desk. His legs felt weak and he was glad that Poppy had made him sit down.

"I'm sorry, Mister Potter," Poppy said sadly, trying to hold back her own tears. "But right now, I cannot help him." Harry buried his head in his hands and Poppy came around her desk, putting her hands gently on his back, rubbing soothing circles, trying to calm him. "As you can see, there is not enough of his signature to make the potion. If I had a pure sample, something complete, taken before he disappeared, I could do something. I'm sorry, Harry."

"What about mine? Or – or Abbey's?" Harry sobbed into his hands.

"No, Mister Potter," Poppy said softly. "Even with your permission to do either, I could not. It's illegal and both of us could get into terrible trouble with the Ministry."

Harry looked up and through tear filled eyes, in time to see one of the points on the graph blink out. He took a shuddering breath, and Poppy followed his gaze, noting that the graph now had fourteen points. "He wasn't a Squib, Harry," she said gently. "But at the rate he's going, he will be. I'm surprised he's lasted this long."

"What do you mean?" he asked, turning to look at her.

She sighed heavily. "Apparently, Severus has at least some idea of what is happening to him or he would be a Squib right now. Whenever he uses what magical energy he does have, his signature gets weaker."

Harry wept his sorrow and after a few minutes, feeling drained and resigned, he rose to his feet, his eyes now red and puffy, and headed back to Severus' room.

"Harry?" Severus asked tentatively, seeing the look on the younger man's face when he entered.

Harry didn't answer him, but turned his attention to his daughter first, not wanting her to worry. "Abbey," he said quietly. "Why don't you go with Madame Pomfrey for a moment? She can get you something to eat."

The little girl looked between her daddy and her papa, an uncertain expression on her face. Severus nodded to her and she left the room quietly. "Harry?" Severus asked again once they were alone.

Harry's eyes stung as he looked at the man, and he couldn't stop fresh, hot tears from rolling down his cheeks. "Why," he whispered, his voice shaking. "Why did you lie to me? Why didn't you just tell me what was going on?"

"What are you talking about, Harry?" Severus asked in confusion.

"Your magic, Sev," Harry cried in exasperation.

"Harry, I," Severus started quietly, but his lover cut him off.

"Don't deny it, Severus," he snapped angrily, his eyes glittering. "I know that you knew what was happening. How could you not?" Harrywas angry, and he sighed heavily when he realized that the older man thought that he was angry with him. It was to an extent, but more than that, he was angry at the hopelessness of the situation. He ran his hands though his unruly hair, and closed his eyes briefly, willing himself to calm down. When he opened them, he walked slowly to the bed and sat down. "I – I just don't understand why you didn't tell me," he whispered, and Severus felt his heart break at the pained sound in Harry's voice.

"Harry," Severus said gently, opening his arms. He sighed contentedly when his young lover nestled himself in his arms, and held him protectively.

"Why?" Harry whispered once more.

"Well," Severus answered quietly. "I didn't know what your life with Draco was like. I'd seen the article about your marriage in theProphet, and believed you were happy, that it was what you wanted. It hurt, but I was determined to leave you to your happiness."

"But," Harry argued, and raised his head to look Severus in the eye. "You said that you'd been looking for me."

"Yes," Severus agreed. "That's true." He sighed heavily at the look of confusion in Harry's eyes. "I was looking for you to ask if you'd help me with getting that accursed glamour off."

"But your magic," Harry countered, wrinkling his brow. "You still have it; it's not much now, but you still have it. You used it yesterday when you locked me out, I felt it."

Severus sighed and looked away to the window a moment before he spoke again, not yet returning his gaze to his lover. "I shouldn't have done that," he murmured. "I'm sorry, Harry."

Harry was quiet for a while, and shifted uneasily when Severus looked at him again. "I – I still don't understand; why were you looking for me?"

"I may still be able to perform some magic, Harry," he admitted. "But I tried many times to remove the disguise, all attempts failed. I have no control over it, I perform the spells I can on sheer luck… it comes and goes. I could try the same locking charm now, and there would be very little chance that it would work."

"No,don't!" Harry cried in alarm. He had already gathered from Poppy that each time Severus tried to use his magic, a little more of his signature faded.

Severus blinked in surprise, and then relaxed with a sigh of resignation as he pulled Harry closer. "I wasn't going to," he murmured, placing a kiss on his brow. If he had to guess, he would say that Poppy had told Harry what was happening to him. Severus had seen the fear in his eyes and the pallor of his skin when he'd mentioned attempting the spell again.

Harry could do nothing but cling to him and cry his relief for several long minutes, and Severus let him, holding him all the while. "Please," Harry whispered when he could speak, even as his tears continued to fall. "Don't push me away. Don't shut me out. Please, Sev."

Severus carded his fingers soothingly through Harry's dark locks, and placed gentle kisses on his brow. "What did Poppy find?" he asked, though by Harry's behaviour upon entering, not to mention his reaction to the thought of Severus attempting to cast a spell, he knew it wasn't good.

Harry wrapped his arms around him and curled to him more snugly, and Severus felt his body shake with dry sobs. "P-Poppy said that s-she can't h-help," Harry cried against his lover's chest. "She s-said that y-your s-signature is too f-far gone."

Severus closed his eyes painfully. Merlin, he was such a fool. Why had he not stopped his attempts to remove the glamour; why had he continued to use his magic when he knew his energy was depleting? Because it is part of who you are, he thought, the voice in his head sounding an awful lot like Harry, who was at this moment, lay in his arms, his body quaking as he cried.

"W-what about our other ideas?" Severus asked quietly. "Restoring my magic through Abbey's blood, filtering it with yours? Or making the potions from either sample?"

Harry shook his head, Poppy's words coming back to him. "S-she can't. S-she wanted a sample from you to compare a-against mine, i-in case there w-were any similarities. S-she didn't want to f-filter out something that was part of your original s-signature. A-as for the other option," Harry murmured, finally able to control his tears to talk a little more clearly. "S-she won't do it; even w-with my permission, it would be illegal. S-she said that if s-she had a pure sample, one taken b-before you started to lose your magic, it would be possible."

Harry buried his head in Severus chest again as he lost control once more. He was upset, yes, but he blamed his current emotional state on his pregnancy, remembering what an emotional roller coaster he had been on early on when he was carrying Abbey. He didn't know what he would do if Severus pushed him away.

Severus' mind was racing as he held Harry while he cried. A pure sample? He carded his fingers gently through Harry's hair as he thought on what he had heard, then suddenly, it hit him and he stilled. How could he have forgotten? He'd not gone straight to the Ministry and taken out the real Jackson O'Malley after leaving Harry and Hogwarts. He had in fact, gone to Snape manor, and taken a few precautions first. One of them was drawing a blood sample.

Severus began rubbing light, soothing circles on Harry's back as a smile stole over his features, and ever so slowly, his young lover calmed and his tears stopped. "Harry," Severus asked gently, and the young man raised his head revealing red, puffy eyes. Severus reached up, and gently wiped away the rogue tears that still trickled down his cheeks, noticing the raw, pink trails they left behind.

Harry swallowed over a lump in his throat, and looked at Severus in confusion when he saw him smiling.

"Its okay, Harry," Severus murmured when he saw the bewildered look on his lover's slightly swollen face. He chuckled softly to himself for his stupidity. "Everything will be all right."

"W-what do you mean?" Harry stammered, thoroughly confused. "We can't recover your magic, how does that make everything all right?"

"Yes, Harry," said Severus softly. "We will recover my magic, and we can."

"But how?" Harry asked in a rush. "We can't use Abbey's or mine, Poppy would be sent to Azkaban for performing an illegal procedure, and it's likely we would too, for instigating it, then that would leave Abbey with the Weasleys, or worse, in an orphanage. We don't have a pure sample."

"No, not at the moment," Severus agreed, his smile broadening. "But I know where to get one."

Harry blinked, thunderstruck by this proclamation. "What?" he asked the moment he found his voice. "Where?"

Severus simply looked at him a moment, bathing in the glow of hope now radiating from his lover. His skin now held a golden glow, and hope and excitement were shining in his emerald eyes where just a moment ago, both his eyes and the colour of his skin seemed dull and lifeless.

"In the cold storage, in the lab at the manor," Severus replied smartly.

Harry sat up and gave him a mock glare as he slapped him, not too hard, but just hard enough; and cupped his chin firmly in his hand. "Merlin, Sev, don't scare me like that!" He released his hold on Severus' face once he was sure he had his undivided attention, and feeling another bout of raw emotion take hold, he curled up in Severus' lap once more, needing to be held. "I was so scared," he whimpered as he clung to his lover.

Severus held him close and carded his fingers soothingly through his hair as he once more placed gentle kisses on his brow. "Talk to me, Harry," he said softly, when Harry said no more. "Why were you scared?"

"I – I thought I would lose you all over again," Harry murmured against his chest. Severus closed his eyes painfully. He didn't have to ask why; he knew. It was because he had been shallow enough to envy the power his young lover possessed. "Please don't leave me, Sev," Harry murmured. "Please, don't shut me out."

Severus tightened his hold around the younger man's small frame. "I'm not going anywhere," he whispered. "I'm sorry for shutting you out, Harry." He drew back slowly and gazed into Harry's emerald eyes. "Can you forgive an old fool?" Harry gave him a beam before kissing him tenderly. "Shall I take that as a yes?" Severus asked when Harry pulled back, and the younger man smiled and nodded.

"What are we going to do with Abbey?" Harry asked a few minutes later as he and Severus prepared to depart now that they had their plan. "I don't think either of us would have the time to spend with her."

"Yes, that's true," answered Severus. "What about the Weasleys, could they look after her?"

"Um, yeah, I guess. I'd have to fire-call them to ask, it's just that we're not sure how long this will take, and she's never stayed over night anywhere."

Severus nodded as he opened the door to the main part of the infirmary, letting Harry pass before him. "Well, how about letting her try it out for one night, and then in a few days, once everything's ready, if she enjoyed herself, she could stay a little longer?"

Harry smiled. "I like that idea."

They turned and headed for Poppy's office to let her know what they had found before they departed. She was smiling when Severus told her that there might still be a chance to restore his magic.

"Now," Severus said. "We will have to use Abbey's blood. The sample I have is quite old, and as you know, a freshening spell won't work on blood samples of any kind."

Poppy nodded. "Yes, I suppose there's a way to make that legal," she said thoughtfully. "We could compare the sample with Mister Potter's first, that way I don't remove any necessary identifiers in your signature, then, we can simply filter out what is not needed, so only yours remains in her sample."

"Will that change her blood?" Harry asked, not really understanding what they were talking about, and merely going off what he had seen of Severus' charts.

"No," Poppy answered, smiling at him reassuringly. "What is in her being will stay as it is with both signatures. What you witnessed with Severus' sample happened because even though we extracted it from his body, the change had already started to take place. The depletion had already begun before I took the sample, so, it continued to change after being drawn."

"Oh," Harry said, still not really understanding what she was saying.

"Any changes made to a sample after it is drawn stay in the sample alone."

"It should not take that long to retrieve the sample," Severus interjected as Harry nodded to the Mediwitch.

"Oh, Mister Potter," Poppy called as both men stood to leave, drawing his attention once more. "While you are out, you may wish to take some time and stop by Gringott's." Harry arched his brow curiously, and she smiled. "Mister Moody told me that he heard some interesting things from Mister Zabini once he returned to normal. You may wish to speak with your solicitor for more information."

Harry nodded his thanks, and he and Severus went off to the kitchens to pick up Abbey on the way to Snape manor.