"Zoro."
The Marimo nearly shattered at the image. The vision of his lover, draped in a medical gown covered in dirt and bruises. He swallowed thickly, recognizing each with his blurred memory, the sights that had come back to him that very morning after he awoke. Tackling the blond, holding his arms down, taking him by force, humiliating him and making a confusing discovery that made all that he thought was right, obsolete. Just as his drunk self had come to the conclusion that the cook had to be pregnant, he too was having high doubts against his earlier judgment.
At first Zoro couldn't speak. He didn't know what to say to someone he cared so dearly for but had done such an awful thing to. He felt so disgusting he wanted nothing more than to be invisible in his presence. Remembering the way he had laughed so cruelly at him while he was only struggling to get free. It made his stomach turn with how much he hated himself for it, but it also made him hate the way Sanji now looked at him, even fully aware he deserved it. He wanted to scream out to the cook that it wasn't his fault, but it would ultimately just be a lie. It was his body, it was him, even if it was under the influence of an immense amount of alcohol. He decided to take the drink.
"Sanji… I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that… I don't know what I was thinking…" He began in his confusion, taking another step in, his hand subconsciously moving to his forehead. Chopper slowly slid off his grasp around his arm.
Sanji only held his hand up, a gesture for the brute to be silent. He was already aware of the guilt Zoro was no doubt facing, he knew that he had been painfully drunk, but he couldn't help but over look how honest he had seemed to be. Alcohol always brought out the best of people did it not? Who was to say that in that state Zoro wasn't admitting to his true feelings? It belittled Sanji, just thinking them again and the way he'd been used, and to see Zoro wear that expression of a victim…
He lowered his hand and had it rest back down at the bottom of his stomach, on the top of his thigh. He took another deep breath.
"It's fine." He choked out, putting on a painful smile. "I know how disgusting you think I am and how weird all this shit is. I don't blame you."
Zoro froze in place, closing his eyes a moment, remembering that he had said such a thing. Why had he said that? Why had he said any of those things? He had never meant any of them, they were all lies. He loved Sanji and even though he thought Sanji was going completely mad (though now he knew he probably wasn't), he had been willing to accept it so why in that state would he have ever called Sanji disgusting? Was he mad? Upset? Selfish? All signs pointed to yes, but he didn't feel that way at all. He was about to protest when the Cook let out a slight groan, trying to stand up from off his bed. It put Zoro in high alert but he didn't dare rush over to assist him, being glared down by Sanji already in silent warning.
Sanji's back was throbbing at this point, but he wasn't going to back down. He knew what he was going to say next and he knew he had to be determined and confident about it, not looking like some broken thing on an examination bed. His hand still at his stomach he had to force himself to breath out of his nose to avoid going into another hormonal fit of tears - which were far to embarrassing and shaming to himself on their own. It was highly inconvenient, but perhaps helped his cause.
"You don't ever have to believe me. That's fine." He began, his eyes on the tile on the floor. His heart was hurting as it pounded in his ears. "I can take care of them alone, I will, that's also fine. Just please." His eye, burning with empty determination glassed over by this point and his voice shook as he gazed back up at Zoro. "Don't hurt my babies anymore."
Zoro was too immobilized by what had been said that he just watched as Chopper rushed towards Sanji, begging him not to over exert himself. Then the doctor, with stubborn force, helped Sanji back on the bed and Zoro couldn't help but see the stain on his boxers, the cook's words still fresh in his mind. Don't hurt my babies anymore. Zoro wasn't sure he believed in these babies totally just yet, he'd like to say the cook was in one major hysterical pregnancy but… There was a fear that smothered his chest that he had hurt these children of his that Sanji claimed to be real.
"Hurt them..." He found himself muttering, furrowing his eyebrows and lowering his chin in shame. "I hurt them?"
Because besides the fact he'd done something so horrible to Sanji, he also had to these children - real or not. The shock of what he had done was subsiding and instead becoming heavy weights of guilt at his chest. He was an idiot. If he really loved Sanji, even if he thought he was crazy, he should have just went with it. He was supposed to be his support. He'd failed the cook and made matters even worse. This was his fault and now these babies, real or not could be dead and that would be on -him-. How could Sanji forgive him for something like that? He couldn't.
Chopper was about to put a sheet over the protesting Cook but stopped, turning back to Zoro. Although Sanji could act like he didn't see it, the young doctor could clearly see the remorse staining Zoro's scowl. He looked at the ultrasound machine that was wheeled off to the side and moved towards it. Sanji watched him confused, having already stated his case, why was Chopper going to do this here and now? Why was Zoro still standing around like some idiot waiting for him to physically kick him out onto the streets? Shouldn't he be willingly leaving so he didn't have to be in the same room as someone like him?
"No Zoro, you didn't hurt them." Chopper explained softly as he turned on the machine.
He dared to reached out and roughly take Zoro's hand, pulling him forward. He could see the pain on the other side of the tough man's lashes that he kept batting away. He was a brute, that was certain, but it only added to Chopper's suspicions. Zoro didn't get emotional lightly. What he had done was haunting him on the inside and he was giving himself hell. All this time he couldn't have believed what Sanji said because he didn't have the proof he needed, or wanted to see. After all, if Sanji hadn't gotten an ultrasound right away he probably wouldn't have believed either. It was the constant battle between trusting your lover or trusting what you've always known that had pushed Zoro to such lengths as drowning in alcohol, which only revealed his confused struggles which unfortunately found their way to Sanji.
Zoro's clenched his jaw, glancing up at the ultrasound machine. Chopper had said he hadn't hurt them but at this point he honestly couldn't think of how he hadn't. He hurt Sanji, why not them to? He saw the mess he'd made and the condition he'd placed Sanji in - he wasn't willingly choosing to look like shit. Did Zoro not deserve that guilt on his consciousness for what he did? It was fitting, there were consequences for his actions, even if he had no idea of the outcome they could have brought. He glanced at Sanji who refused to look at him. The blond was only watching as the doctor applied gel to his swollen abdomen and the screen came to life from the wands contact.
He'd done this a few times now, so getting an ultrasound wasn't an unusual feeling for Sanji. But having Zoro here, knowing how he really felt, and letting him see a side of him that Sanji now classified as vulnerable, it gave him shivers he wasn't proud of. What would he do when he saw the two little flickers of life there? Finally be convinced? There was a part of him that wanted to laugh bitterly, because then this was all it should have taken before to get Zoro to believe - skipping over the shit they'd just been through. But he wouldn't. At least if he was willing to be in the same room with him, stick around and not point fingers that things were fake and fabricated, maybe he can at least realize there are two lives in there they'd actually created together. Would he realize, finally, how important they are?
Zoro was a little anxious seeing the screen to the machine. He'd never really watched an ultrasound take place before and he hadn't the slightest clue exactly to what he was trying to find in the nearly static image. His eye's widened however, when the screen fed back an image he absolutely couldn't believe and his heart nearly stopped. Two tiny humanoid shapes stared back at him. This couldn't be an edited image, this was live feeding straight from Sanji's stomach. His hand balled up in his shock and he stumbled back, not even sure what he should say. Sanji was actually, undoubtedly, pregnant. Twins. They were his too. His children and Sanji's. His and Sanji's children. They were there, the cook was right… He was somehow pregnant. And all this time he didn't give him the time of day to try and understand.
Sanji's turned his chin away, seeing the swordsman move in the corner of his eyes. He was still staring at his abdomen, but couldn't help but wonder again if maybe now he understood and saw the severity. What would be his response? Surely a freak of nature Sanji was, which would probably pass on to the kids genetically, he'd demand they be terminated? Nothing like that was ever said though and it never came.
Finally however, after Chopper took the ultrasound picture, had it printed out and put the machine away, did Sanji sit up and wipe away the gel off him with his sheet, his hand still shaking. He wasn't sure if it'd ever stop, since he'd been shaking since the previous night, but he didn't say anything. It didn't matter if it got dirty with the gel either. Before it would have irked him to no end but it wasn't like he could go back to sleep now even if he wanted to. He took a deep breath, then glanced over at Zoro.
Zoro was staring down intently at an ultrasound picture in his hands, the one Chopper had just given him. There were so many feelings running through him and he didn't know what to do or what to say. Some was of pride (which he immediately diminished feeling he didn't have a right to it) but most were regretful. He was going to be a father, a role he had always wanted to have and yet... He turned to look at Sanji who was watching him, expectantly waiting to be shot down again. Zoro had probably already ruined all his chances at it. He didn't deserve such a role anymore. He'd blown it.
"Chopper." He said, looking back at the doctor who was pushing the machine away before giving him the time of day. "Can I keep this picture?" Surely it could be the one thing he could keep out of this experience, since he'd ruin his chances of anything else.
The question confused both the young doctor and his patient, who at the same time replied with an in sync, "What?"
Sanji propped his arm up on the pillow and turned a little towards the swordsman, glaring him down. The hell did was he going to do with that? Send it somewhere to check it's authenticity?
"Why?" He demanded to know.
The swordsman's shamed expression never changed though. He met those blue eyes, his face a little darker and a near permanent frown on his expression.
"So I can at least have this of them." He began, holding the ultrasound inward towards himself. "I can't ask you for forgiveness, cause' I don't deserve it... But these are my children too right?" He looked down at the ultrasound, his fingers lightly scanning over the two humanoid forms. "I'm their father but I don't have to see or bother them anymore. I will provide for them, do whatever I can, but I wont put them at risk this way."
Chopper nearly shivered when the swordsman brought his glance back to him, still waiting for his answer about whether not he could keep it. Stunned by the Marimo's sudden dedication he merely just nodded, to which Zoro thanked him softly and began turning for the door.
Sanji watched him go stunned. Why would someone who thought of the idea of him being pregnant so disgusting and had gotten so angry and attacked him in a drunken state be willing to be a father to their kids? Why would he want to dedicate himself to something like that when Sanji basically told him he could go free, he'd do it himself regardless, that Zoro could live on believing it a lie? Why was he still fucking him over?
"Wait." Sanji found himself calling out after him, half way out of the bed, much to Chopper's dismay. There was a troubled expression on his face.
Zoro stopped at the door frame and turned around to look at Sanji. He was kind of surprised to have heard him call out for him and half scared he'd be shot down himself, be told he isn't allowed to even do that for his children. Instead he just met Sanji's gaze that was studying his face.
"Did you mean that?"
Part of Sanji hated himself for doing this, for even putting a little light of hope out there for himself to grab. His body was still sore and battered from what Zoro had put him through, but there was still a part of him that urged that he knew it wasn't Zoro. He had been immature, that was for fucking sure, but he was the father to his unborn babies. If he was sincerely willing to do this, fully aware he didn't have to, maybe Sanji should invest in second chances? As long as he was in control for himself and the babies, keeping Zoro at an arm's length, perhaps things could return back to normal, this just a memory that neither of them would ever need to look back on.
Zoro looked exhausted, but he nodded, staring back at Sanji in silent conversation. Yeah he meant that. He wasn't in it before, he didn't believe it before, but he did now and he'd be in it one hundred percent. He loved Sanji and would be devoted to him and their family, if of course given the chance and not self appointed. Anywhere he needed him to be, he would be, because he knew Sanji could find a place for him. Even if it was telling him to stay outside and away from him.
Sanji looked down, finally letting out his bitter laugh. Here he was, going and giving Zoro a second chance like some idiot. Even though he was fully aware of how he thought of him. He really was going to become a battered wife wasn't he? But it wasn't out of vanity, he didn't care if Zoro thought he was the most disgusting thing on the planet, he wasn't what was important anymore. They were. At least, for once since he'd even found out about this condition though, Zoro was standing up to the plate and willingly signing up for the job. He understood now that the Marimo understood that. He wouldn't let him forget it, either.
He swallowed thickly again, licking over his lip anxiously and easing back into the bed more comfortably.
"Alright, Marimo." He said calmly, thinking cautiously of how he would word this. "You can have your second chance, but I swear to god if you screw this up I'm not going to just sit here and take it."
He grazed his tongue across his teeth, not willing just yet to see Zoro's face and response to what he said. "But only after," he paused, closing his eyes. This could all go away. They could go back to normal and this awkwardness and nightmare between them go never be thought of again, just a stain behind them, he reminded himself. It would all start, with easing back into normal life, right? So he dared, to challenge him. "you take responsibility and tell my old man about this."
Sanji's eye's snaked over and he watched as Zoro's expression transformed. It went from isolated, to something much warmer, and hopeful. It even had the nerve to suggest, 'that's all'? Still staggering in the door way he gave a solid nod.
"I will. Whatever you want me to do cook."
He left shortly after that. Chopper had to check over Sanji once again and apparently wash his clothes - Zoro had done much more of a mess than he could have remembered. Though when he thought it was his time to leave, there was the odd request from Chopper that said the cook didn't want him to just yet. He was going to see to it that Zoro kept to his word and waited for him to get ready. In the time doing so, Zoro had the absolute pleasure of meeting an angry, post check up on Sanji, Dr. Kureha.
Needless to say, with a few new bruises himself and a somewhat darker eye, Zoro was pushed out to waiting for Sanji on the steps leading up to the clinic. Sanji found him there silently, finding it hard not to smile even the littlest bit at the swordsmens new look, before prompting him to follow him slowly as he made his way to the car, a little bit of an awkward limp since, of course, his ass had been penetrated harshly so recently, ignoring any protests from the Marimo insisting he help him. He wasn't ready, just yet, to have him close.
But Sanji would at least save Zoro from any further humiliation by talking about it, Zoro was punishing himself enough, saving him the work. That and he hoped dearly that it would be repaid in the same way. He didn't want to talk about it. He was tense, in the beginning of the car ride back over to his home at the Baratie, since he was back close to Zoro again and he understood what would go down the moment he got there and talking to Zeff, but once more things tended to mend back to normal when he was yelling and cursing directions at the worst driver in existence. Really he should have taken his own car home, but Chopper just had to insist on this.
Although Zoro had agreed to it, he'd never thought ever in his life he'd have to go and tell old man Zeff, someone he didn't always get along with, that he'd knocked up his son. Or hell any father figure that for that matter. Though after hearing through the walls that Dr. Kureha was about to knock some since into Sanji about still putting off not telling his father and Sanji had basically told him to in order to prove himself, he'd vowed to himself and to everyone else silently that he would keep his promise. And eventually they made it to the fish restaurant.
Even though Chopper had nicely washed his clothes from the previous nice and they looked a little bit clean, Sanji stilled hadn't gotten a full shower. He didn't want to stick around the clinic while Dr. Kureha was about, so he opted to just head home, shower and then face Zeff with this shit head beside him. Besides, there was a legit chance that it could be the last time he got to shower at his home above the Baratie. He knew the old man but not enough so that he could predict his reaction to the news.
So when Zoro held his arm around him to keep him upright and help him to the door - something Sanji, feeling a lot better about since before they got in the car allowed - he didn't look anything more than hung over. Well, maybe a tad bit uncomfortable and hung over. It was one thing to think of it as his boyfriend, ex boyfriend, or whatever the hell Zoro was to him at the moment carrying him in. It was another to feel his body against him and know it was the same that had held him down before. Still, no one else caught on to it, or at least ever showed they had.
"Oi!" Shouted Patty, whose work station was closest to the door. He was preparing something Sanji couldn't exactly see, but no doubt the wrong way. "Look who got wasted!"
Carne, the cook in the same spot as him but opposite side of the room glanced over through tiny circle sunglasses and belted into laughter. "Still can't handle your drink Sanji?"
Sanji glared at them, ignoring how Zoro had stopped just in case the blonde wanted to rant them out, as he often did. That and he was frozen by the man with the power in the center of the room, hands on his hips glaring down at Sanji. At the moment he was the most intimidating, even with the comical mustache. Sanji seemed confused at first until he too noticed the gaze.
"You shitty eggplant!" Zeff spat, unevenly walking towards them with his prosthetic leg. "Your shift started over two hours ago! You think you can just miss work whenever you want?"
Sanji averted his eyes down, an instinctive reaction to have when his father figure was scolding him. He knew he'd forgotten about something, but it must've slipped his mind with more important matters at hand. Though Zeff didn't know that. All he was thinking about was the weekend crowd. Finally after a lecture he ignored the majority of, he peered back up at Zeff.
"Hey old man, I gotta talk to you about something." He said, feeling Zoro tense under his arm. Or rather, Zoro would.
Zeff narrowed his eyes, looking Sanji down again. Who knew what kind of shit he could have gotten into? At least he didn't called in for the idiot's bail. Though mostly he was relieved to see Sanji in one piece.
"The hell do you gotta say? Fine, I'll meet you upstairs after a while. Now clean yourself up you filthy brat!"
Sanji slightly grinned. Although it sounded harsh, what Zeff had said had been in a parenting way and he really needed to hear that attitude towards him more than ever. In that one sentence he could hear his concern. He looked over at Zoro, gesturing silently for them to continue up the stairs, which the Marimo complied like the obedient puppy he was. Zoro was careful with the cook and slow, opening the door and helping him through. Sanji pushed away though once they made it inside his room. He motioned to the bed.
"Just wait in Marimo, I'll be out in a minute." He explained, headed towards the bathroom door, then he paused watching as Zoro looked around the room. His cheeks flushed slightly, wishing it was cleaner but in his defense he was a teenage boy, a random shirt on the floor was expected.
Zoro had been in Sanji's room maybe a handful of times before and it always surprised him how little he actually had in it. He moved over to Sanji's bed, trying not to grin at the way it'd been perfectly made. Bravely, he did what he was dying to do, jumped onto it and crossed his arms, sending the cook a soft smile.
"Take your time ero cook."
It was contagious, since Sanji had almost fallen for that smile and usual attitude and return it, but quickly he dismissed it and rolled his eyes. "Just don't touch my stuff shit head." He muttered before going into the restroom and locking the door behind him.