AN: so sorry this took so long for so little, but life, not only got in the way, it kicked my ass too.
The doctor took a deep breath in, she had been hoping to discuss it after a glass or two of the obligatory champagne at the fitting. Hoping it would loosen her tongue and make the proposal as natural as she had thought. She had never been one for putting stock in meaningless symbols, but this just seemed fitting. And she deeply hoped her closest if only friend would see it the way she did.
"Jane, I'm not sure how to ask this. If there is any proper protocol I am missing, but I would be honoured if you would consider, I mean if you would,"
Jane squeezed the hand in hers, moving her head to meet the flustered eyes of her friend,
"Deep breath then go,"
She visibly drew herself up with a filling breath, setting her determined eyes less she loose the nerve now.
"Jane, would you give me away?"
Jane tensed against the barrage in her head, several thoughts shouting loud and none of them were in agreement. Some told her to run, others to challenge the audacity of such a request, however there were some creeping through the noise. They told her to accept.
Carefully she untangled her hand from Maura's grasp, she brought it up to run through her hair. Mouth opening and closing, trying to form words. At least Maura didn't leave her floundering long as she continued.
"You don't have to answer right away Jane, I do understand that this is somewhat of a weighty request,"
Guilt flooded her mind and stomach as she watched Maura fidget with her hands, something else that had rubbed off her. Letting out a quiet breath she placed her cup on the counter before taking nervous hands in her own. She waited until eyes met hers before speaking.
"Maura, traditionally your father would give you away, you know this right?" Blonde hair bobbed with her nod.
"Jane, my father has already given me away once." It was Jane's turn to sigh,
"I didn't mean Doyle and you know it. I'm sure Mr Isles would be devastated if he couldn't perform the Father of the bride's duties."
Maura sniffed away her growing sadness, "Jane, my parents aren't even sure they will be 'available' for my wedding. And I'm not even sure I want them there."
The surprise on the detective's face was tangible as Maura stood straight, squared her shoulders and shook the melancholy away. "It's my wedding Jane, mine. I get to choose what I want and not feel an ounce of guilt for it. I have lived my life this far, and I will not be hindered now."
The assertiveness was impressive from someone who fretted for a week over a single meal with her mother. Her confidence was admirable, perhaps a more positive side effect from Jane's presence. Behind it all though was the niggling doubt, if Jane could refuse her once, surely she could do it again. The heart in her chest pounded loudly in the empty room.
"You'll let me think on this won't you?" The smile on the doctor's face was infectious, she had't said no, well at least not yet.
"Of course," dropping her friends hands she perched on her toes to throw her arms around tugging the taller woman to her.
Friday had rolled around and thankful souls filled the booths and bar of the Robber. Never had she wanted a drink more than now, but she stuck steadfast to her own resolution. So nursing a light beer she may as well have been drinking soda for the lack of buzz it gave her, but at least it was beer. Her phone buzzed intermittently in her pocket, checking the text she smiled. Maura would actually be coming for a drink after work, alone. Maybe they would be able to fall back into their old ritual if only for a night. Anticipating her request she ordered her glass so that the wine would have chance to air before she arrived.
Moving away from the bar Jane slinked into the comfort of what had been their regular spot. Carefully placing the napkins on the table before arranging their drinks. Something so routine was comforting, perhaps they would actually talk like they used to. Maura hadn't mentioned her request again, making good on her promise to let Jane mull it over.
She didn't so much as mull it over as completely dissect it down to practically its bare atoms. She had tried to be objective, tried to be clinical about it. She should have been ecstatic about the thought, here was her best friend asking her to be the most important person for her that day. Asking her to bless her union as she 'gave' her to Mark. This should be an honour, this should be the greatest gifts she could give her. But instead she saw it as an utter failure. Should she go ahead and walk her friend by the arm in front of family and God and bless a union she envied with her entire being she would be a liar in body and soul.
And yet, here was the woman she loved asking her to deny everything she felt, everything she was, and she wanted to give it to her. She learnt a long time ago that 'that' smile was worth everything. That smile she got waking up in the hospital, that smile she got when she agreed to go shopping. That smile when Maura slid into the booth and took a deep drink from the wine she had ordered.
They had both slipped easily back into old comforts, talking about anything, nothing, or even childish station gossip. Jane felt herself smile for the first time in what had been a very long absence of genuine happiness. She wasn't faking it to cover her tracks, she wasn't pretending to listen, in half an hour together she had almost been able to ignore the pessimistic voice in her head. Maura had been laughing at one of her jokes when he slammed into the table spilling most of a beer down on the two women.
"Dude! What the hell!" Jane jumped out of her seat trying to avoid the torrent of beer on the table, she looked over to the culprit. "Shit"
"Mauuuura!" The doctor looked mortified as Mark tried to drunkenly pull her out of the booth.
"What are you doing here Mark? Are you drunk?"
Jane stepped out from behind the table shaking her hands dry, "Gee Maura, you think?"
Mark wrapped an arm around Maura's shoulders gripping her tightly, "What? I'm not allowed to have a drink with my fiancé?" He was swaying as Maura tried to hold him up.
"Looking at you I don't think there is any left to drink. Mostly as its all over my shirt."
"Ah, you're no fun. Come on Maura you and me are going to paint the town! My car is just outside," his grip tightened making Maura visibly uncomfortable.
Jane's head shot up, "How long you been here Mark, I've been here for a while and never saw you come in."
"Just got here, what's it to you?" It was Maura's turn to be accusative,
"You drove here? Like this? Are you insane, you could have been seriously hurt!" She stepped away from the swaying man.
"Look what you did Jane you upset her,"
"I what? You, you need to leave here now, I'm being serious." She took a step towards her friend, without even thinking she stood between the doctor and the oaf.
He shook his head effectively shrugging her off, "C'mon babe lets get out of here, big shot here is spoiling my fun,"
"Last warning here 'babe' " Jane had set her stance, she could feel a few eyes on her but she didn't worry. This idiot had rocked up to a cop bar admitting drunk driving.
Mark lurched forward right into Jane's left cross. The thud as he hit the floor echoed around the room. She stood stock still, she hadn't expected that, she barely believed she had even done it. It was only when Maura pushed past her to kneel at his side she rushed back to reality.
"Jane what have you done?" Maura covered her mouth with her hand as she looked over the groaning lump on the floor.
"What did I do? That idiot could have killed someone!"
"Do you honestly think I would have let him drive?"
"Maura he drove here drunk! For all we know he could have hurt someone already! Are you seriously defending him?" Jane began to shake her hand out, the impact having bruised her own hand.
They both moved away as a couple of uniformed officers came to pick Mark off the floor, cuffing his hands behind his back they all but carried him out of the door. Maura crossed her arms over her chest watching her fiancé being taken away. Wordlessly she grabbed her belongings and followed. Jane grabbed her coat all but sprinting to catch up.
AN: Im working on more I swear!