Alright, I know you guys were really hoping that this is an update to the story, and I'm really sorry, but this is just a note to explain why it's taking so long. Fact is, I'm gonna have to take another hiatus on this...

You know what? I can't even finish that joke. It would be too cruel.

Here's the deal: while focusing all my attention on The Best Laid Plans did actually help me finish it (I think it turned out pretty well- if you like Pokemon stories, you could go check it out), I realized something. Hiatuses are for chumps. Seriously, I was having a ton of new ideas for this fic and some of my Homestuck ones, and I just kept trying to finish TBLP, and that was just making me kinda mad. So, I'm not gonna do that again. It worked, and my first-ever legitimate fic on this site is done, and I'm happy with it, but the hiatus idea is stupid, and I'm not using it anymore.

TL;DR: We're back, yo.

[]

"So, lemme get this straight, dude." He's sitting on that green bench, elbows on his knees while he stares vacantly up at the clock tower. "Mabel told Wendy to tell you that, uh-" He frowns. "That she saw somethin' weird here?"

I halfheartedly kick one of the tire swings. "She won't even talk to me. Must've been pretty scary."

"Huh." He grabs a candy bar from his pocket. "What if it's, like, some kind'a monster that only comes out at night?"

"I don't think so." I glance up to the clock. "Wendy said it was around noon, so we should be..." my voice trails off, and I throw myself down onto one of the many tree stumps scattered around the clearing, sitting down heavily. "This is pointless," I grumble.

"Don't be like that, bro!" Soos has chocolate stains around his mouth, and he's giving me a thumbs-up while devouring the snack. "We just, ngarff, gotta keep looking, chomfph, 'till we find it!"

I scowl. "We've looked through the whole park. What else is there?" A splinter's digging into the back of my knee. I stand, jamming my hands in my pockets. "And why are all these tree stumps here, anyway?"

"Oh, dude, that's it!" Soos jumps up, a smile spreading across his face. "We should check the trees!"

"Huh?" I look towards the forest, at the edge of the park. "You think so? I mean, maybe..."

"Dipper." He adjusts his cap, giving me a serious, dignified expression. "I have never been more sure of anything in my life."

I shrug, following as he dashes away from the playground equipment. "Where should we start?"

He skids to a stop, grinning widely, pointing to a small space between a couple of tall oak trees. "Bro, isn't that where you an' Robbie almost-"

"I don't really wanna talk about it." I stomp past him, ignoring his chuckling, while I examine the bushes and undergrowth. "Seriously, we don't even know what we're looking for."

"Um, about that." Soos is standing by one of the trees, holding a piece of paper. "This was stuck to the tree trunk, dude."

He holds it lower, and I'm able to see what it says. "Follow the... signs?" I read, confused. "I think it's 'signs'."

He squints, tilting his head. "They wrote it weird-like, though. 'Sides, what signs?"

Standing closer to the tree where we found it, I look around. "Don't see anything from here." Something catches my eye, and I look down. A wide, long arrow is scratched in the dirt, brown against the park's grass, pointing towards another arrow a few yards away. "Whoa! Soos, look at this!"

He kneels down, beaming with excitement. "You know what this means, dude!" He looks up at me. "If we follow this arrow, we'll find the signs!"

I chuckle. "Um, I think this is the sign, man."

Completely unfazed, he straightens. "Even better! Let's go, dude!"

The arrows keep going for a while, leading deeper into the forest. Eventually, one of the arrows leads to another small clearing, this time with a circle of white paint in the grass. Stretching away from the circle's edge, there's another ring of paint, forming the shape of a target.

Just before we reach the clearing, Soos looks back at me. "Here it is!" He starts to make his way through the trees.

"Wait!" I grab his arm. "Just, uh..." I look down, poking at the grass with my shoe. "I think maybe we should, uh, think about it first."

He frowns. "Whaddya mean? It's a mystery, Dip! This is, like, your thing!"

"I know, but-" I sigh. "I just think we should be careful. Mabel's usually helping me figure this stuff out, and now this thing has her really spooked."

"You scared, dude?" He says it without any hint of teasing, like it's a totally normal question.

I can feel myself blushing. "Well... maybe," I mumble, pulling my hat down so it covers my eyes.

"That's fine, bro." He sits down on the grass. "So... what now?"

Surprised, I sit down, too. "Really?" I ask. "You don't think it's dumb?"

He snorts. "Dipper, I'm pretty sure you're, like, the smartest little dude I know. You can totally figure this out. If you wanna wait first, it's probably 'cause you're comin' up with some crazy-ridiculous plan."

"Thanks, man." I look back at the meadow. I know there's something here, something I can figure out. Part of the mystery. I can- I

I pause. 'I'. It's the 'I'. I hold up the note again, staring at the word 'signs.' The second letter is dotted with a heart.

"Soos..." I smile. "I think I got it."

"Dude." One eyebrow's raised. "Toldja."

Without another word, I jump up, rushing forward through the bushes. Soos's startled objections ringing behind me, I jump into the center of the target, looking up and holding out my arms.

I have just a second to take in the sunlight, the ring of blue sky above me, the faint buzz of the insects in the clearing.

Just a second to see Wendy and Mabel in the branches, grinning, before a barrage of multicolored water balloons cascades down.

They're cheering, laughing, climbing down from the trees, while I'm standing in the middle, soaked. But I'm smiling from ear to ear.

"We did it! We got you!" Mabel hops up and down a few times. "That was the best prank in the world!"

I try to get some of the water off of my face. "Yeah, you sure showed me." Honestly, I'm just glad that nothing's wrong.

Soos is nervously wringing his hands, stepping over the circles like he's scared something will still happen. "Sorry you hadta get balloon-smashed, bro."

I can't help it; I burst out laughing. This whole day is just so weird; I thought there was some awful monster I had to confront, and then I suddenly didn't think I could keep doing this mystery-thing, and then it wasn't even a real problem.

"It's fine, Soos," I say in between chuckles. "It's just good to know you guys always have my back."

"Whoa, Dip. Sarcasm? Cheap shot." Wendy's grinning at all of us with that aloof expression, but I can tell she's having fun.

I shake my head. "No, that's not what I meant!" But how do I explain it? That I know it's gonna be alright, because I have my friends and they help me out, so even if I keep exploring and getting in trouble, that's okay because it'll all just be... good.

It doesn't even make sense, this feeling. But it's there, and it's real. So I smile again, and I give Soos a high-five. "Mystery solved, dude." I use my best impression of his voice.

Naturally, this causes Mabel to go into a giggling fit, and Wendy's just shaking her head. But Soos grins right back and slaps his hand on mine.

"Awesome, dude."

[]

As a diner, Greasy's doesn't have much to its name.

"IF YOU WANT THE HASHBROWNS SO BAD, YOU CAN COME BACK HERE AND MAKE'EM YOURSELF!"

What it does have is pancakes. I stare down at said pancakes. I nudge the pancakes with my fork.

"LOOK, BUD, IF YOU DON'T SCOOT, I'LL THROW YOU OUTTA HERE!"

And, of course, there's Lazy Susan, who I am currently trying to ignore as she argues with customers.

Robbie has his head on the table, hood pulled tight, like he's trying to block out the world. "I knew there was a reason I don't come here," he says, the words muffled through his sweater.

"Well, I think it's jes' delightful!" Gideon is sitting on one of the bar chairs, spinning in circles. "However did I avoid discoverin' this absolute gem of a museum?"

I absently cut a piece of pancake into smaller and smaller pieces. "Museum?"

"O'course!" He stops turning, waving his short arms in a broad gesture. "Clearly this entire building is designed to harken back to a simpler time, when-" I can see the gears start to turn as his smile slowly vanishes, finally turning into a scowl. "This is a diner," he says in a monotone.

Robbie sniggers. "I don' like this place no more," Gideon announces, hopping down from the stool with a huff.

My fork slips, clattering down onto the plate loudly. They're both looking at me now, probably from reflex more than anything else, but I figure now's as good a time as any.

"So." My throat's suddenly dry, and I wish I had some water or something. Robbie's glaring up from beneath his hood, still resting on the table, while Gideon simply jumps up onto the booth chair next to me. "We- we should decide what we're gonna do next."

Leaning back, Gideon places his hands behind his head with a yawn. "Do elaborate."

"Well, we thought something big would happen today."

Silence. I cough. "Nothing has."

"We've noticed," says Robbie, sitting up.

"Um..." My mind goes blank. I guess I was hoping one of them would have some kind of idea. "What do you guys think?"

A high-pitched giggle slips out, and Gideon covers his mouth with his hand. "I'm sorry, but this is precious. You think you're some kind'a detective?"

"What would you do, squirt?" With a bit of a shock, I realize Robbie isn't talking to me. "Maybe my dad'll find a clue or whatever, but we might as well do something in the meantime."

The psychic crosses his arms, still smirking. "I do pity y'all, I really do. Dipper- what exactly are you gonna do?"

Before I can stammer out a reply, Robbie challenges, "What, you're not worried? Your parents are in this, too."

Gideon's answer is drowned out by a slam as the diner's door hits the wall. A bedraggled man rushes in, clutching a map in his hands. He's balding, wearing a business suit and slacks, and looks as anxious as anyone I've ever seen.

We can't help but watch as he throws the map down on the bar, causing Lazy Susan to look his way, total boredom in her expression. "I- I think I got off at the wrong bus stop," he says quickly.

She snorts. "Well, what're ya lookin' for?"

The man rapidly grabs the map again, squinting. "Uh... Connor's Lake?"

A few of the patrons close to the bar start laughing, while Susan just grins. "Yup. You're not there, bud."

Dejected, he folds up the paper and stows it inside his suit. "Well, when's the next bus out?"

She scratches her forehead, looking up in thought. "Eh... prob'ly noon t'morrow."

I kinda feel bad for the guy when he has to walk back through the diner, hanging his head, approaching the door as we all try conspicuously not to stare at him. "Bad luck," Robbie murmurs when he's finally outside.

The man gets into his car. "Yeah," I say quietly. "But this is one of the only places in Gravity Falls where people actually go, so tourists end up here a lot."

At some point, I blink. I don't actually see it happen- I'm vacantly looking out the window at this random, unfortunate guy, and eventually I realize that he's no longer there.

He's gone. He was climbing into his car, and now he's gone. The driver's seat door is even still open.

I try not to panic. I fail.

Leaping up from the table, I accidentally bowl over Gideon, who falls to the floor with a faint squeak. Dashing over the wooden planks, I shove the door open.

I don't know what I expect. Clues? A message, scrawled over the hood of the car?

There's nothing. It's just sitting there, key in the ignition, door open, as if the guy had just gone back in to grab his jacket or something. It could have been anybody's car.

No. No, this can't happen. Not now. But I can't control it; my throat's tightening up, and it's getting harder to breathe.

"Kid!" Robbie's here, staring down at me, glaring. "What's wrong with you?!"

Air. Just try to breathe.

"...Whoa, kid, are you okay?"

Is this a panic attack? It wasn't this bad before; if it happens, I'm supposed to... what do I do? I can't remember...

Robbie looks just as terrified as I feel. "Uh, just- hold on, alright? I'll get help!"

He must have run back into the diner, because I'm alone, falling, scraping my knees on the blacktop. Breathe. Breathe.

This isn't happening. I can't- I can't do this.

Someone's picking me up, carrying me somewhere.

Mysteries are bouncing around in my head. My friends are gone. I'm scared there's no answer.

I can't do this.