Author's Note: As always, thanks for the feedback - its much appreciated! On with the story :)
Chapter Seven - Flowers for Living, Bullets for Dead
"So how did you get the gun?" I ask Freddie as we follow JJ down the road, looking around the area cautiously. He breathes out softly and turns to me.
"Dad, he used to be in the army.. Was an avid gun collector."
"So there's more?" He nods his head, looking across the street to see a walker.
"Reckon you could teach me?" He raises the gun and aims at the stumbling walker, who is making his way over to us in the road, until Freddie presses the trigger and he collapses down. He shoots with such precision and never fails.
"I would, but I've seen the way you kill with a knife… If there was the slightest inkling I could convert you to guns, I'd take it.. But Naomi, trust me, you're a blade fighter." I snort and shake my head as we resume our hunt.
"That's a load of bollocks. If you're running out of ammo and need it for yourself, you could just say so."
"Honest Naoms, you're a natural… The first kill you made, I was surprised just by how fluid you were."
"Fluid? I couldn't get the knife out of the holster.."
"After that. The way you poised yourself and made the execution, it was excellent. Even JJ can't compare to that, and you're a newbie. Imagine how great you'll become if you craft your skill."
"To be honest, I don't like being close to them… The walkers, they're….."
"I know, believe me, but you're a natural. It just takes time. Maybe if not a knife, another weapon. But honestly, guns don't do you justice. But if you want, I can still teach you how to use one, okay?"
"Yeah, thanks."
"Guys, we're here."
We make it in and we get what we need. It's how it's been the last several times we've done this now. I'm getting used to it, even though it still makes me feel cold inside. I've killed 6 people. Though now, they're not people; they're walkers. I've at least been able to distinguish it, and it makes me feel a bit better about having to do it. But still, I remember each one. It's kind of hard to forget. Freddie says that they'll all blur into one in time, that they will all look the same, but I doubt it. Every face I see, every form that moves, they used to be somebody, and even though they're dead, they're still an entity. And they're all different to me.
Once we get back it's early evening, so the light is beginning to disappear from the sky. I place the bug-out-bags down in the kitchen and watch Panda smile at me.
"Thank you, Naoms! Did it all go okey-dokey today?"
"Yep Panda, it went as smooth as can be."
"Oh whizzer! Emily's at the back of the shed tending to some flowers. Katie always moans that they're pointless now because no boys will ever buy her any, but I reckon they look well beautiful, don't you?"
"Uh, yeah."
"Ooh, Hubba Bubba Atomic Apple gum! Super-duper! I'm always asking JJ to get me this but he can never find it, or he forgets… Did you-"
"It's no problem, Panda." I go to walk away but am trapped when Panda lunges forward and holds me to the spot. She holds me really tight, enough that I begin to worry about my oxygen levels.
"Panda.. Can't exactly.. breathe."
"Thank you, thank you! Oh whizzer, can I be your bestest friend Naomi?" I chuckle and continue to pry myself from her grasp.
"Uh, sure Panda. Sure." I hear a laugh and look to see Katie walk into the kitchen. Her hair is a lovely shade of purple which compliments her, in all honesty. She even offers me a small smile as I move back from Panda.
"Emily's got a surprise for you, N." I frown slightly at this and withdraw my eyes from the pair of them, who both seem to be smiling rather coyly. I feel the back of my pocket to make sure the gift is still there and then address them.
"Uh, okay. I'm just gonna…" I indicate with my thumb and back out of the shed. I walk around it and to the small, limited garden patch occupied with flowers, plants and greens. It's better than nothing though. I take a few steps and notice immediately a shade of red that was not there before.
"You.. Your hair." Emily then turns around on the soil, her knees still to the earth. She smiles brightly at me.
"Yeah, thought it was time to dye my hair, you know, once Katie's hype had gone down. Can't be spoiling her limelight now, can I." She smirks as I laugh, shaking my head. I lean against the shed and cross my arms.
"It looks great." She lowers her head slightly, allowing a few bangs to fall. Even though the sun is now gone from the sky, her hair still shines so effortlessly. It's truly a wonderful sight. And they were all right; red is certainly her colour. She brings a certain life to it, one that honours humanity. It's nice to have different connotations for the colour now.
"Thanks… So, I made these for you. As a thank you for all your work and, well, being here." I watch as she stands up and delicately covers an array of flowers in wrapping paper. The bunch alerts my senses, by sheer smell and sight. Purples and pinks, whites and yellows, of all sizes and textures: I'm in complete awe. I move away from the shed and stand before her.
"Wow, Emily.. You really didn't have to."
"I know, I just.. I wanted to." She smiles, trying to hand me the bunch, and I dually accept, trying to figure out what exactly they are. I hear her chuckle as she steps closer.
"You have no idea what they are, do you?" I feel my face burn a little as I shake my head, turning my gaze from her to the flowers. She gestures with her hands as she speaks.
"We have carnations, tulips, daisies, snapdragons, lime greens and some daffodils. It's a crazy set of flowers to put together, but.. Well, you deserve them.. All of them." I exhale with shock, but the good shock that feels nice and makes you smile. I manage to reply after a long pause:
"Thank you, Emily." We stand like this for a moment, neither moving nor speaking, just looking at each other until Emily looks away, as if shyly. She then looks back up to me, batting long lashes that causes me to have butterflies like no other. I cough softly and then look away, focusing on the flowers, trying to distract myself from those wide brown eyes. I deliberate for a moment, biting my lip before I proceed, convinced. I raise my eyes to Emily once again and mutter.
"I actually got you something too." Her brows lift almost comically as I lower the flowers onto a nearby small garden table.
"I saw that you had a few books in your room, in particular Jane Eyre.. So when I found this book, I thought maybe it would be a great addition." I bring out the paperback copy from my back pocket, which had been bent in half. I try and straighten it out as I hand it to her.
"I know it's not much, and you probably don't even like Jane Eyre, but I remember reading this years back and finding it an interesting read.. It's a sort of prequel to Jane Eyre and focuses on Antoinette, or rather.. Bertha, you know, 'mad woman in the attic'…. So yeah." I watch as her hand tenderly traces the front cover, smoothing out the edges lovingly.
"'Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys'. So it's not written by Charlotte Bronte?"
"No, but it's still a good read. And I find that it's very well written." Her eyes glaze over once again before they reconnect with reality. She then looks bashfully at me.
"You're actually kind of wonderful, aren't you, Naomi?" I find my bottom lip between my teeth, unable to stop the motion. It seems to be an automatic response these days when I'm around Emily. I stuff my hands into my back pockets and tilt my head.
"Does that mean you'll read it?" I continue to bite my lip as she giggles and holds the book to her chest; her eyes never waver from mine.
"Yes, I will read it, Nai." I've been called a lot of things: Naomikins, N, Naoms, yet Nai is a nickname that truly captivates me – or rather, it's the voice of the person who calls me that does. With that thought in mind, I dip my head and release my lip, making myself stop being so weird. I then force a small smile to my lips and turn on my heels, about to leave, before I remember the flowers. I pick them up and permit one last glance and murmur 'thanks' before I head back into the shed.
Days later and we're all just lounging about after returning from another hunt.
"Naomi, come here yeah?" I hear Freddie call out to me as I sit down on the sofa with Panda, playing card games. I lay down my cards and I hear Panda immediately screech.
"Oh salad, you win!" I chuckle at this and pat her on the shoulder.
"No Panda-pops, you win! I'll be right back." I force myself up and into Freddie and JJ's room. I see their separate beds on opposite sides and see JJ get up from his bed and move out of the room, his eyes looking down as he goes. I then focus on Freddie as I stand at the entrance.
"Close the door, yeah? I've got some stuff for you that I think you'll like." I kink my brow up at him in an amusing way, which causes him to laugh.
"Nothing like that, yeah. Katie will have my balls on a platter if I so long as thought about it." I laugh with him and close the door behind me. I then move into the room and sit on JJ's bed – what he doesn't know won't hurt him. Freddie in turn raises his brow but says nothing, choosing to direct his attention to a towel on his bed, which is clearly hiding something.
"What you got, Freds?"
"Well, seeing as you were saying about wanting to use my gun, and wanting a weapon from a distance, I went looking through what my dad has in his trunk… I mean, did.. I.." I watch silently as he composes himself and then continue, removing the towel to reveal two objects.
"This, of course, is a-"
"Crossbow?! Oh my god, how the hell am I supposed to use that?" He smiles knowingly at me.
"You'll know soon enough. And this is an advanced machete and quite a fine one at that: very sharp, very thorough, and very deadly."
"Which is saying something for the dead.." Okay, not that funny. He sighs, but his eyes are full of mirth. He then lifts up a gun which I had no idea he was holding until now.
"And this little baby, is a 9mm handgun. I reckon it can hold about 10 rounds until you have to change the magazine, which isn't too bad, well.. for you." I swear he darts his tongue out at me before standing up.
"Now, which would you like to try first?"
"For a pothead, Freds… You do alright." He bursts out laughing and hands me the gun.
"Handgun it is.. Now, let's practice."
"'Now let's practice', those were your exact words."
"Yeah, but-"
"How am I supposed to practice if I can't shoot the gun?"
"You know loud noise attracts the dead, so we have to be careful." I huff and place the gun down, fed up with learning about its mechanical being and aiming it at the target without even taking a shot. He turns to me and holds up something.
"It's a good thing we have a silencer for that gun then, eh. Now give it here."
"Yes!"
"Shh." He says, looking around. Even though we have our fences and then additional fences shared with neighbours, we can never be too careful when outside.
"Right, here you go. Now be careful, yeah. Stand back, hold it tight and keep it at arm's length at all times so you don't get any backlash.. That's it. Right, now check safety catch, and remember, when it comes to pressing the trigger-"
"-'do it slowly, naturally, and don't apply too much pressure. Just let it be, let it come naturally.'" I turn my head and stare at Freddie. I then hear a few giggles from the distance, and notice Emily, Panda and Katie. Great, now I have an audience.
"It's okay, Naomi. Take it easy, zone them out. Focus in on the mark, okay. Try and get it as close to the centre as possible." I direct my eyes back to the board in the distance, and raise the gun until it is at the same height. I focus on it; I remove the safety cap and breathe. I breathe until I feel my finger instinctively recline around the trigger, and I pull. It's nothing like I've ever experienced before. I jolt back slightly, which is to be expected. But what I don't anticipate is the bullet, which goes through the board and is almost, shockingly enough, a bullseye shot. I turn my head to Freddie and lower the gun down to the ground, putting the safety cap on slowly. His eyes look straight at the board, unable to tear them away. I chance a look back at the girls, who stand equally in a daze. I watch as Emily finally removes her eyes from the board and focuses in on me, her mouth open to an 'o' in surprise.
"Well I'll be fucked. Either you're made for this end of days shit like that Resident Evil woman or someone has had a little more practice than their letting on." I dart my eyes to Katie and watch her fold her arms, eyeing me suspiciously.
"For fuck sakes Katie, give it a rest." I watch as Emily shoulder shoves Katie until her arms fall down to her sides. Panda recovers from her shock and nods in earnest.
"Yah! This is wicked, Naoms. You're so skilled. It's totally whizzer because now you're one of the guys!" I grimace at this, along with Katie. I turn to look at Emily who equally shudders at the thought.
"Uh, yeah, not gonna happen Panda. I'm a girl, just like you."
"But you're all strong and super-duper and I bet Ems-"
"That's enough, Panda, yeah?" I hear Emily call out with her raspy voice, darting Panda a look that I can't quite discern. Panda then rushes into the shed to get away from Emily, who just laughs. I see Katie and Freddie share a look of mischief and I decide to be done for the day. I shrug and hand Freddie the gun, but he shakes his head.
"Na, it's yours now, along with all the other weapons. I'm sure JJ will help you with using the machete, that thing is rather tricky." I place the gun into the back of the trousers, just like he does. It's bloody uncomfortable.
"But it's just a-"
"Yeah, but it's dangerous if not used correctly. And anyway, it's good if you involve Jay, I think he's feeling sort of left out of the happenings."
"Yeah, actually, where is he now?" I turn to Freddie and then to the twins, who just shrug. Panda then comes rushing out of the shed, looking considerably worried.
"Oh sugar! JJ's not inside, and I don't know where he's gone."
"He shouldn't even be out on his own anyway." I hear Katie say, but my eyes are firmly on Freddie, who seems alert, concerned.
"Right, everyone get back in the shed, yeah? Naomi and I will go out and look for him."
"But Freds, it's getting dark." I hear Katie protest but Freddie ushers everybody into the shed.
"I know, and there's a good chance we won't be back tonight – but don't worry, okay? We'll be safe and camp out. We won't come back and until we have JJ, okay. Panda, we will find him."
"Please do. Just because I'm useless doesn't mean I'm nothing. And just because he's nothing doesn't mean he's useless." I turn to Panda who is sitting on the couch, her face ashen with worry. It's a stark difference compared to her usual bubbly self, and it makes me want to console her. I kneel down before her and place my hand tentatively on her leg, which draws her attention.
"Panda, you're not useless, and he's not nothing. We'll find him, I promise… We're a family." I lean up to her and kiss her forehead softly, trying in any way to make her feel better. I then stand up and turn from Panda once she assures me with a small smile that she will be okay for the time being. I turn to Freddie, ready.
"Let's go." We reach for our bug-out-bags and put some things in there, necessities we'd need, weapons, all the lot. After we are done, I watch quietly as Freddie walks to Katie and embraces her. She's considerably silent, which has me feeling rather on edge until I feel Emily's hand on my shoulder, forcing me to turn around. Before I can even register this comfort alone, she is pressing her body against mine and pulling me close, enclosing her arms around me. I drop my head into the crook of her neck and allow myself a moment to breathe, to reciprocate the gesture in kind. I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her even closer, desiring to remove any gaps between us.
"Be safe, Nai. And come back. Just come back."
"I will. I will." I feel her arms tighten around my shoulders momentarily, her hands tangling in my hair to create sensations that even I wasn't aware of. I feel her caress particular strands, making me shut my eyes and bury my face further into her neck.
"Let's go, Naomi." I'm suddenly filled with so much dread, so much uncertainty - and yet so much life. I withdraw myself from a begrudging Emily, who immediately seeks out my eyes and stares at me. I don't even notice that her hand is in mine until Freddie drags my arm away from her, and before I know it, I'm breathing in the night air.
Thanks for reading!