Chapter Twelve - (Let's Kiss) While the Stars fall Down

Pandora returns to the room some time later, pausing to shoot me a gentle smile when she notices that I've been woken from my slumber. I force myself to sit up from the slouching position that since adopted on the chair and try to pretend like I was just resting, though I've no idea who I'm kidding as I let out a pitiful yawn.

"You should really get some sleep, Nomie! I can keep an eye on her; it won't be problem, really." When I don't respond she moves to stand beside me, casting her eyes to look between Effy and me.

"You smell super-duper bad, Naomi. You should wash and get some rest." She smiles firmly once she feels her claim is legitimate enough for me to leave, and I suppose she has a point because as I smell my pits, I literally retch. I look up to Panda with a stern look.

"Christ."

"Yeah, but it's alright, I've smelt worse! Freddie's feet can pong well bad, like cheese! Reminds me of cheddar. Sometimes I have dreams about having a cheese sandwich, but the cheese disappears and I end up running after Freddie with a grater, screaming 'give me the cheese, give me the cheese', but he never blooming does."

"Uhh.."

"All I'm saying is Effy here won't appreciate it when she wakes up. You know, all that ra-ra will-"

"Okay! I get the picture, Panda. I reek. I should wash. And then sleep." I throw her a small appreciative, if not bemused smile and get up from the chair, feeling my tense limbs crack as I do. I make sure to give Effy once last glance before I leave the room, and leaving only when Panda begins to look exasperated by my delay. With a slight snicker I close the door behind me, leaning back as I am drawn into a heavy sigh that eventually turns into a massive yawn.

"You look like shit." I try to deny the smile from appearing on my face as I turn my head to look at Katie. Banter is pretty much our only secure way of interacting with each other, aside from the moments like before in the bathroom. It makes me tremor when I think of how vulnerable I was, and so without further ado I dive straight into our conventional means for communication.

"It's preferable to strutting around in leopard print trousers thinking they're in fashion. Maybe it's escaped your notice, but the world has been taken over by the dead. Not like the walkers will stop to spare your life so they can ask you where you got them from over a three-course meal of brains, thigh and arm, all the while wanting to discuss the upcoming trends in the new issue of Vogue." Once I'm done I focus on her, watching her lips as they twitch with her eyes full of mirth. I giggle and push myself away from the door, picking up some clothes from the pile that I created on the floor from earlier. I then head into the bathroom, ready to cleanse and change.

"Glad to have you back, bitch."

"You too, Paris."

"What?"

"Nothing, Cruella." I close the door to terminate our conversation, but it doesn't seem to do the trick as I hear her bang on the door.

"Did you just call me Cruella de fucking Vil?!"

"Nope, never." I wait for a retort of some kind, but instead I'm met with silence. That is until I hear her mutter under her breath, calling me a bitch yet again. I smile and shake my head, slow to the taking as I get around to the tedious task of washing myself and changing into different clothes. Even though I only changed a matter of hours ago, Panda wasn't lying when she said I smell like crap. I look down at the pig top and stroke it - it's a silly top really but I love it – but it comes at a price, as it makes me feel rather nostalgic about past times. After I finish up cleaning and getting into new fresh clothes, I leave the room and drop my clothes on top of the pile that is waiting to be hand washed. I spot JJ sitting down on the couch, his eyes focused on a book as I make my way over to him.

"Hey, do you know where Emily is?" He doesn't remove his eyes from the book, but he does reply, be it automatically.

"She went into the garden at the back."

"Thanks." I then exit the shed and slowly walk around the back, noting the early morning rays that begin to bathe the sky with light. I immediately discern Emily from the intimate garden as I make my way leisurely toward her, embracing the moment to memorise how smooth her tresses look in the soft glow, and how they seem to shimmer while in direct sunlight to intensify the shade even more than I thought possible. It creates a momentary hindrance with my ability to walk because as I return to watch where I'm going; my foot knocks straight into a plant pot on the fucking ground.

"Fuck." Smooth, Campbell, real smooth. I roll my eyes and move the foot from left to right, trying to control the involuntary spasms that course through it. I look up to Emily who has yet to acknowledge my presence, even though I'm positive I've made it known with my embarrassing entrance. I place my foot back down onto the grass and straighten up.

"Hey." My greeting does not attract the desired response as she stiffens at the sound of my voice, her entire back showing me just how awkward she feels. I tilt my head, trying to see whether I can steal a glance of her face but she won't turn.

"Is everything okay?"

"Fine, everything's fine." She bends down, and I feel more than hear as she stabs at the earth with a small garden fork. I can't avoid the gulp as I watch her dig aimlessly at the soil.

"Are you sure? You don't seem-"

"Glad Effy's awake. Looks like you two have made up for lost time."

"What do you mean? She's passed out."

"Oh don't lie to me, Naomi. The least you can do is not lie to me." She abandons the fork on the ground and stands up, finally revealing herself to me. Her face is a mixture of feeling, torn between looking hard and fragmenting, it's bizarre. I shift on the spot, feeling uneasy with the way she's looking at me, or rather the reproachful expression she bares.

"I'm not lying to you. She woke up briefly hours ago, but that's it. She was out of it."

"Yet not that 'out of it', seeing as she was awake enough to kiss you." I feel my eyes grow wide, not knowing how she could know this, and why exactly she is acting the way she is. Except, I do know why, don't I.

"Emily..."

"You could have told me she was your girlfriend." I laugh at the illogicality of her accusation, finding the whole thing absurd until she glares at me, her eyes ablaze with emotion that instantly shut me up. Understandably I think I need to clarify this to her.

"Effy is not my girlfriend."

"Right and you didn't kiss her back." I've never seen Emily this short-tempered before, and it's kind of disconcerting to watch as she rages on at me with no actual proof.

"I didn't."

"So now you're calling me a liar?"

"What? Emily, I didn't kiss Effy. And she didn't kiss me like that, it was purely platonic."

"Could have fooled me; your hands were all over each other."

"It wasn't sexual, Emily. I was just glad my friend – my best friend – is alive! Jesus."

"I saw the way you were looking at each other, Naomi. I saw the way she was looking at you." Her voice decreases in volume as she lowers her eyes to the ground. But what really gets to me is the distress in her voice, it's unwarranted.

"I wasn't looking at her like anything. She was delirious! She thought I was a fucking angel, for Christ sake."

"But the way you kissed, Naomi."

"It was a peck!" She looks up at me then with wide, feverish eyes, infected with passion.

"No it wasn't-"

"That wasn't a kiss, it was a peck; it wasn't romantic."

"It didn't look that way from where I was standing."

"It was a peck."

"I know what I saw, Naomi."

"Oh yeah, well what do you call this then?" I spring forward to close all forms of proximity from existence, snaking one arm immediately around her midsection as my free hand rests on her cheek, drawing her into me to capture her lips with mine. I vaguely hear the sharp intake of air before she exhales against my mouth, moaning into the kiss. It feels so wonderful and right, that it takes a moment to truly register what I am doing, and when I do I find myself pulling back, feeling bad for just thrusting myself upon her, but Emily just wraps her arms around the back of my head and pulls me back in, forcing our lips to stay connected.

Our mouths open and close together in rhythm, progressing so naturally and so magnificently that it quickly deepens with intensity. It's so sweet, ardent and inflamed; I feel an undercurrent run through me. Come to think of it, I seem to simply burn whenever I'm around her, but most significantly, I feel impossibly charged when we touch. It's an energy I've never experienced with anyone else before. I feel it every time her hand makes contact with my body, be it when clothed; the touch just seems to seep through until it frizzles me. At the same time I move my hand from her cheek to run through her hair, I feel her hand equally delve further into mine, tugging sensually on the locks at the back of my neck. This makes me produce a sigh, pulling her closer to my body. I feel her other hand run up and down my side, and then tantalise underneath my top, tracing her fingers on my bare skin as if wanting to touch and consume every part of me. Jesus.

I pull back from Emily, panting and feeling considerably flustered. I've never been this worked up over a kiss before, but having thought that, I've never had a kiss like this before. I feel Emily's arms encircle my shoulders and hold onto me for a further moment before sliding them down to grasp at my waist loosely, keeping me close to her form. I allow my hand to return to her cheek and easily caress, feeling giddy with pleasure.

"So, do you see the difference now?" I slyly remark, watching as she looks to me with such fatal attraction - I just know that I'm a goner.

"I suppose I did overreact.. I was a bit- a lot, jealous. You two clearly have a close relationship."

"Yeah, but we're never actually like that with each other unless it calls for it. I mean, I hate crying, especially in front of others, but seeing Effy after all of this time.. Well, its special circumstances. Before long we'll fall back into our usual pattern of repartee that we're accustom to. Our friendship is just that; a friendship. It's nothing more. I promise you, Emily." It takes a long moment before Emily nods and finally looks back at me, this time looking calm and assured.

"Okay." I can't help the smile that appears as I casually place my arm around her shoulder. I quickly give her a chaste kiss and watch as a smile corrupts her lips, her eyes full of delight. They always have this shine; this amazing twinkle that reduces me to smithereens, like actual stardust. The only eyes, aside from Effy's, that truly captivate me. When it comes to Effy's eyes, she tries so hard to keep her emotions obscured from flashing in them, as if the mere display will reveal her true self to the world. And so she remains vacant because it's safe. But with Emily, she fights so hard to be open, to be so readily available. There's a certain admiration that I feel every time I glance into her eyes and distinguish the way she represents herself, because it's something that neither Effy nor I could ever do. When I truly think about it, it takes an astonishing amount of strength to be so exposed and unguarded, since you never really know whether it will be returned in kind.

"Naomi! Effy's awake!" We turn to see Panda as she stops by the shed out of breath, a large smile on her face. I let go of Emily then, making sure to smile at her as I do, which she returns in good spirit.

I follow Panda back into the shed and walk straight back into the girls room, seeing a very much awake and present Effy who is now sitting up, her blue eyes scanning over me and everyone else who is now crowding the room.

"Thank fuck, you really had me going there, Eff." She doesn't respond with words, which I pretty much expect as I progress into the room and sit down on the bed next to her. I reach for her hand and grab it, making sure to squeeze it gently. She watches me for a moment before diverting her gaze to the others.

"I know you."

"You do? Did Cook-"

"You shot me." Freddie cowers away then, hiding behind Katie, unable to meet Effy's intense gaze. She continues with her analysis though, choosing to move on to Katie once she's done with Freddie.

"Yeah, Freddie's a right ditz sometimes, aren't you babe? He's like, really sorry about that. I'm Katie. This is Panda, short for Pandora. She's weird." I look just in time as Panda waves enthusiastically at Effy, who merely smirks at this action. I watch as Katie then points to JJ.

"This is JJ, another weird one, but mostly 'cause he's got Asperger's."

"Katie!"

"And this is Emily, my twin."

"Your twin?" I pick up on Effy's tone and the way she seems to scrutinise Emily with her eyes, staring blatantly at her in hopes to pick her apart. It's a brutal exchange, and it visibly makes Emily uncomfortable as she shrinks under the gaze, which in turn makes me subconsciously let go of Effy's hand as I watch on. With the loss of contact, Effy redirects her eyes back to me in confusion, before a flash of comprehension registers in her eyes. She tilts her head and smiles deviously, mumbling wryly under her breath.

"Seems like she's belongs to someone else though."

"Say what?" Effy just smiles at Katie and waits until she rolls her eyes, clearly miffed by Effy's behaviour.

"Clearly she's just another weirdo, and here was me thinking she was cool."

"Oh I'm cool, Katie. I'm real cool." I watch as Katie shoots daggers at Effy, before I resign to finish this slanging match. I get up and turn to address everyone.

"I think we should give Effy some space, she did get shot… Let's give her time to rest, yeah?" One by one they leave, their eyes lingering on Effy as they do. Emily is one of the last to leave, her eyes alternating between Effy and me as she does. I smile softly at her and wink, which generates some warmth in her cheeks as she dips her head to flutter her eyelashes at me. Fuck me she's good, she knows exactly what she's doing. She then leaves, closing the door behind her, leaving us alone. I take a breath, needing the moment to compose myself before I turn my attention back to Effy, who happens to be staring directly at me.

"Didn't take you for feelings."

"What?" Her eyes shoot to the door and then back to me as a knowing smile features. I huff and shrug, opting for the oblivious approach.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure you don't."

"Eff…"

"It's not their fault, Naomi." I place myself back down next to Effy, considerably perplexed by her admission.

"What are you talking about?" For the first time her mouth draws a line as she disconnects her gaze from mine, unable to look at me.

"Cook and Gina, they.." I feel my heart pound as my mind instantly conjures up all the worst scenarios imaginable, 'til Effy places her hand over mine to placate me. I raise my eyes to hers, too scared to speak, the fear of it being verbalised being too much for me to deal with.

"It was my fault. I was…. That day I went to see you.. I just- I thought…" She takes a moment to organise herself, for though she's rather stealth in how she represents herself, even she finds it difficult to contain the emotion in her voice as her words waver with an undercurrent of feeling I haven't heard in a long time. I simply sit there, waiting on edge, unable to do anything else but regulate my breathing as best as I can. She finally lifts her eyes to me and stares, searching my own.

"I thought you were gone. I thought you were like them.. I saw things in that hospital, things I didn't think were real. It took me forever to get out of there, so many people- so much blood. It all happened so fast. Somehow I made it back home, and I… I told them. I told them what I saw, what I didn't see. And.. I just- I had a complete episode. I shut down for hours. By the time I came back around, Cook and Gina had our things packed and we were out of the door in a flash, and taken to the outskirts. Been living in a place in the woods for months now, just existing barely….. And then one night I just didn't care anymore, so I just left, walked right out of there. We've been so lost without you, Naomi. We thought you were dead."

"But you didn't see me. You just assumed.." I pull my hand away from hers and turn my head away from her.

"Naomi-"

"No! All of this time? Mum, Cook, they could have seen for themselves! They should have come for me- You! You should have looked for me!"

"It wasn't that simple, Naoms… People were.. They were biting people. I was lucky I got out."

"Oh and that makes everything better? You leave me, but as long as you get out it's okay?"

"Please-"

"No, you- you lot…. You're supposed to be my family. My family and you abandoned me. You just left me in that fucking hospital, all on my own."

"I didn't know."

"It was your fucking duty to know. Jesus Eff, you'd know I'd fucking search every goddamn ward for you. I've done so much for you, and yet you can't even do that for me."

"Naomi, please." I stand up and face away from her, unable to even look at my best friend right now. Not 24 hours ago I was desperate to see those blue pools, and now I can't even bear to be in the same vicinity as her, let alone look at her. And it doesn't escape me how open she's being with those goddamn eyes. For once in such a long time, she's unarmed: she's choosing for me to witness her suffering so that I can see her side. And it has to be the one time that I'm sickened to be anywhere near her.

"All of this time I've been so caught up in hoping that you're okay; that you, Cook and mum are out there together, and holding out hope for me. Hell, even looking for me. Fuck, I don't even know anymore. I woke up alone in that hospital, completely alone. And you were supposed to be there like I was there for you, and you couldn't even do that."

"Naomi…"

"And now… Cook, my mum… They think I'm dead. They think I'm one of those things." I twist myself away, feeling sick.

"Don't go, Naomi."

"You don't get to ask me that, you left me!" I can't even bring myself to look at her as I exit the room, the rage and hurt too great for me to do anything other than walk away.

Just walk away.