One of the Boys

Disclaimer:I don't own any of the Dragon Ball Series or its continuations and spin-offs. This is loosely based off of Shakespeare's "Twelfth Night." It's a sort of Dragon Ball Z version of She's the Man, but that doesn't mean the same will occur. ;)

Summary: Bulma hatches a wild scheme to compete in the World Martial Arts Tournament.

Chapter Five: Super Saiyan

"Hey, Bulma." Raditz had picked up on the first ring. "How's everything going over there?"

Bulma let out an exasperated growl into the phone. "How do you think?" She snapped at him as she exited her dorm building and was met with fresh air. "Everyone here thinks I'm nothing but a loser. I got placed on second string, I'll never see any matches let alone fight in one, and I smell like someone threw up oatmeal on me—twice." Her voice was hoarse. "I'm in hell, Raditz. I can't do this anymore. I'm done."

She was just outside of the admissions building, leaning against a stairway's railing. She had never expect to concede defeat like this, never even considered it an option, yet there she was begging her brother to come get her. "Please, just come pick me up, slap me a few times and remind me of this moment every time I have another stupid idea."

"I'm not sure if I have the free time to train you for fighting—you just may be on your own there." He sounded apologetic at first and then sparked an idea. "Oh, but I just got an idea on how to get you in good with the guys. Make sure you shower and come to King Yenma's Place in an hour, most the students at Saiyan Academy hang out there to eat and shoot pool weekends. I'll bring your silly friends Launch and Ranfan along."

"Are you sure about this?" Bulma whined into the phone, trying not to die from suffocating on her own scent.

"Trust me," Raditz replied. "We'll show everyone you're a Super Saiyan." Super Saiyan was another urban legend, similar to the dragon ball wishing. The term was a title used to refer to the most popular student at Saiyan Academy. Raditz had proudly earned the title when he was a student there, but that was a couple years ago.

"Alright." Bulma didn't sound convinced. Right now she was at the bottom of the food chain. One did not simply start from the bottom and get to the top. Plus, she was a girl. Super Saiyan was something only achieved by the male students at the academy. She wasn't even good enough to be first string as a martial artist. How was she going to become a female-disguised-as-a-male Super Saiyan?

"Just trust me," Raditz repeated, sensing her skepticism, and hung up.

King Yenma's Place

Raditz spoke softly into the microphone as to not draw attention. He had acquired some helpful equipment from Capsule Corp. prior to meeting his sister and her friends at the eatery. "Bulma, this is your cue to go." He had to admit that his plan was faultless. There were no holes in this plot, none that he could foresee at least.

Bulma, still under the guise of Goku, entered through the double doors of the restaurant. She wore designer men's jeans, handpicked by Raditz of course, a black long-sleeved shirt and a leather jacket, casually thrown over her shoulders to complete the ensemble. Raditz thought maybe the jacket had been too much, but Ranfan and Launch were both convinced it was perfect. Since the two rarely agreed when it came to outfit choices, Raditz let them have the final say. Bulma just hoped they'd all made the right choice.

She walked with swagger, a little differently than her normal man-strut. This one exhibited more confidence, a more nonchalant demeanor. She winked at a girl who looked about her age as she passed by. The girl returned the action with a small smile.

"Look who decided to show up," Krillin muttered under his breath. He sat at a booth with Nappa and Vegeta. The three had made frequent visits to King Yenma's Place. Most everyone from Saiyan Academy spent their weekends at the restaurant. It was a good place to socialize and Krillin's prime choice to check out the ladies of Saiyan Academy.

Vegeta grimaced. "Act like our table's full, Nappa."

Following orders, Nappa stretched out his body and made his side of the booth appear as if there wasn't an extra seat. It was an easy enough feat for someone of his broad size. Krillin and Vegeta did their best to feign ignorance as their dormmate sidled up to their table.

"Sup," Bulma grunted.

"Oh, hey, didn't see you there," Krillin said awkwardly as they all gave a cordial nod. They made no efforts to be friendly or to invite their dormmate to sit with them.

"Go for it, Launch," Raditz spoke into his microphone.

Without hesitation, the blonde, still sporting her edgy bleached blonde cropped hair, planted a stiletto in front of her to guide her from the booth she had been occupying. She was aware that every man's eyes and most of the women's eyes too had fallen on her. She didn't work out her body hard and do all of that clean eating for nothing. She was proud of her athletic figure and flaunted it in her short denim skirt and midriff-revealing top. She felt especially confident because her shoulders, graceful and eye-catching as they were, remained uncovered. Shoulder-less tops always allowed her to receive the most attention, but of course exposing her tight bare stomach was an added bonus.

"Goku," she called happily as she made her slow, sexy walk over to her friend. "It's been forever." She wrapped her arms around Bulma's neck, leaning into her like an ex-girlfriend with residual feelings.

Bulma accepted the embraces and let her arms fall around Launch as well. Most particularly, she placed a hand to the blonde's butt and gave a soft squeeze.

'Not too hard, not too soft, the perfect amount of ass,' just as Raditz had instructed her during their practice round in the alley of the eatery only moments before Launch punched him in the gut for demonstrating on her.

She gave a smug smirk at her dormmates, whose mouths were slightly agape, and then returned her attention back to the smoldering blonde before her. "How you doing, baby?" Bulma spun Launch around to face her, the blonde never removing her arms from around her neck.

"Certainly not the same without you," she admitted. She stuck her lip out in a seductive pout. "I really miss you."

Bulma gave a shrug. "You know how it goes. New hoes in different area codes."

She could hear an audible gasp from one of her dormmates, likely it was Krillin. He'd have gotten smacked if he even considered using that line on a woman although he'd often imagined himself doing so on more than one occasion.

Launch sighed. "I know." Her eyes fell downcast for a moment before striking back up. Her hands trailed from Bulma's neck to her hands, where she held them affectionately and pulled her closely. "I always think about that time in the shower. I can't bathe without being reminded of it."

"Tell me more," Bulma coaxed.

"I usually shower late at night," Launch whispered in a seductively hushed tone.

"Liking it."

"Thinking of you there with me."

"Loving it," Bulma corrected.

"Is this real life?" Krillin asked with eyes bulging as he strained his neck for a better view.

Nappa seemed contemplative. "He's got bitches," the burly Saiyan with a short chuckle of astonishment. Vegeta was silent, entirely dumbfounded.

Giggling, Launch pulled Bulma closer and pretended to whisper something in her ear. A haughty grin materialized on her face as she listened intently.

"Wrap it up," Raditz called into Launch's microphone. "Remember, you're his booty call."

"It was really great seeing you again." She was still speaking in a husky voice. "You can call me whenever you'd like, and I mean whenever." Launch puckered her lips and leaned forward. Bulma pressed her pointer and middle fingers together, pressed them to her own lips first and then to Launch's. She pushed her face away slightly as a nonverbal cue that she was grateful for the offer, but it was time for her to go. Launch sighed deeply, dreamily and walked away to get a glass of water.

She leaned over as if checking out Launch's toned rear out. Bulma gave her dormmates a sideways glance and then laughed before turning to face them. "She wants the D." She stuck her tongue out and jostled her junk for emphasis. At least she had gotten that mannerism down.

Pretending to know exactly what their dormmate was talking about, the three men nodded in agreement and gave uneasy laughs.

"Your turn, Ranfan." Raditz gave the next girl her cue.

Ranfan, who wore a curve-hugging low-cut dress, emerged from the pool hall. She had been blessed with a small waist and wide hips which gave her a classic hour glass figure. Arching her eyebrows in a sensual gaze, she was also well aware of the amount of cleavage she had chosen to expose. "Goku, you're here too?"

"Hey, Ranfan," Bulma called out casually, allowing the curvaceous woman to approach her first, not the other way around. "How's it going?" She was met with a tight embrace and permitted Ranfan's hand to trail from her shoulder to her hand where it remained.

"As good as it could be," Ranfan replied, giving her hand a squeeze. "Orange Star's nothing without our top fighter, Goku Son."

Bulma leaned against the booth occupied by her dormmates for support, and swung Ranfan's hand casually within her own. "Had to spread my wings, babe. See what else is out there." She released her friend's hand at this remark and slung her arm over her shoulders, gently tugging her closer.

"I understand," Ranfan sighed. "I wish I could have been woman enough for you, but I suppose that's something I'll just have to try to get over." She looked to Bulma with martyred eyes. "Even though I've been trying. You're very hard to forget, Goku."

She gave a casual shrug of the shoulders, leaned further against the booth and feigned indifference. "Heartbreak—happens all the time. You'll get over me eventually."

A series of short gasps escaped from three mouths. None of the residents of Namek Hall would have ever guessed that Goku Son had this kind of game, or any kind of game for that matter. This was truly a surprise, one they could hardly believe unless they'd witnessed it themselves. Krillin looked to Vegeta who just shrugged and muttered, "Unbelievable." Nappa was still heavily invested in the action to pay his friends any heed.

Ranfan shook her head. "But I will always remember what we had forever." The last word came out in a desperate whine, but Bulma remained unmoved. When Ranfan saw this, she turned on her heel but not before pausing to look back. She gestured to her rear end, requesting one last keepsake. Bulma obliged her by giving her plump bottom a quick spank. At last, Ranfan took her leave, pretending she was more than disappointed that she hadn't been as well received as she'd hoped.

"Chicks these days." Bulma rolled her eyes. "Clingy—all of them." With that, she left the men to themselves, deciding to order food and leave them to contemplate what they'd witnessed.

"Maybe we were wrong about him," Krillin was the first to admit it.

"Very wrong," agreed Nappa.

Even Vegeta seemed to consent and gave a nod of the head. His eyes, which had been casted downward in disbelief as he reevaluated his thoughts on Goku, lifted up to take note of a new presence before them.

A blue-haired woman had materialized. She was long-legged, and curvier than even the other two women they'd seen speaking with Goku earlier, and she was in a state of irritation.

"Hey, sexy lady." Krillin grinned, hoping Goku's charm had somehow magically rubbed off on him and the line would work.

She distorted her features in a firm scowl. "Gross." Her glare was set to kill, not to stun. "If you think you're going to even try hitting on me you should know that women with bodies like mine do not talk to little boy's with bodies like yours."

It was all too much for Nappa who was fairly certain he'd seen it all today. He howled with laughter at the slight. Vegeta, who was more restrained at the moment, even shook with amusement.

"I'm looking for my boyfriend, Goku Son." Her hands fell to her hips, accentuating the curves. Whether the move was intentional or not, they couldn't help but take note of her figure again. "I heard he was here."

Vegeta put a hand to his forehead, shaking his head and chuckling. He would have never, not in a million years or more, predicted this. He would have never suspected someone as strange as he considered Goku would have women pining after him like pathetically love struck fools. This was absurd. He gave a scoff and pointed in the direction they'd all seen Goku head to moments prior.

"Goku," Maron growled once she spotted unkempt, spiky black hair.

Raditz hissed into his microphone. "Red alert! Maron the Moron is here and she's one pissed bitch. If she gets too close she'll know it's you." He threw down his napkin and fork, approached Bulma face to face. "Abort mission!" He ducked behind a throng of customers and left Bulma to deal with the mess on her own as Maron took angry strides over to her.

"Goku!" She called again, following who she thought was her estranged boyfriend.

"Get lost, Maron!" Bulma grabbed two enormously sized pitchers and used them to shield her face from the raging woman before her. Maron wasn't about to give up just yet though. Bulma returned the pitchers to the owners, "Excuse me, dolls," she flirted quickly before making a sharp turn toward a waitress. She stole the menu from her hands without warning and used it to mask her face again. "We've been over. Quit hounding me, Maron!"

"What do you mean by 'over?' How are we over?" Maron demanded. She was dangerously closing in on her target.

Bulma tossed the menu down and this time just used her hands to conceal her visage as she put distance between her and Maron by weaving through a line of customers. "We're over because I say we are over. There's nothing more to it than that!"

"Get over here and talk to me." Maron shoved a kissing couple from her path.

"You're sexy, Maron, but there's more to life than just being ridiculously smoking." Bulma ducked behind the opposite side of a salad bar.

"Stop running away from me!" Maron chased her down the line, stepping on her tip toes to try to get a better view.

"But girls like you are a dime a dozen. I need someone with more substance, and isn't just pretty on the outside. I don't want to feel like I'm talking to a wall." Bulma saw an opportunity and took. She grabbed a huge takeout order from one of the employee's and passed it to Maron, who had no choice but accept it. "When my eyes are closed, I see you for the real you, and you're just a troll! Now, take a hint!"

Maron let out a shriek, a bleating sound of infuriation. She released the to-go boxes she had been given to carry and dropped them to the floor. Her hands curled, grasping at air, until she finished her incensed cries. There was nothing she could do. She had never been so humiliated in her life and she would see to it that somehow Goku would pay for this… just not today.

She departed from the restaurant, screaming on her way out.

Every occupant of King Yenma's Place whooped with applause, commending the best breakup they had ever witnessed and would ever witness. Bulma felt a friendly arm wrap across her shoulders as her roommate gave her a pat on the back.

'Thank God that's over,' she thought. Raditz brushed by and gave her a discreet mixture of a low-five and a handshake. Vegeta faced Bulma toward their table and instructed for Nappa and Krillin to make room for their fellow Namekian.

"I think you just became everyone's hero," Vegeta smirked, signaling Bulma for a high-five to which she obliged cheerfully. She had never seen this look on Vegeta's face before, not for her. He had finally recognized and accepted to her as one of his own.

Return to Saiyan Academy, First Day of Classes

Everywhere Bulma went she was met with smiles, high-fives, friendly greetings and congratulatory remarks. She had done it. She had achieved a level of the greatest strength known to the students of the academy. She had become the senior class's Super Saiyan and all just in time for the very first day of classes.

The entire student population revered her, respected her, and most importantly, admired her. If a student had somehow missed witnessing the great transformation from regular Saiyan to Super Saiyan at King Yenma's Place, they had been told the story by someone who had.

The guys in her class, and in other classes, looked to hear for tips on how to get girls, and the ladies looked to her in hopes of catching her eye. Although she was straight, and not the man they thought she was, she still felt flattered by all the attention she was receiving.

"Goku, wait up!" Krillin jogged up to her just as she reached a flight of stairs which led to the building of that day's first class. She shared the class with all three of her newest friends.

"What can I do for you, Krill?" He probably would have never allowed anyone to call him that before, but now that she was considered a Super Saiyan, Bulma pushed her luck whenever she felt like it.

"I was hoping you'd give me some advice on getting a certain girl to notice me." Krillin looked desperate for any help he could get. Even though the events that took place back at King Yenma's had been a ruse, Bulma felt she was still well-equipped to give romantic advices to anyone who asked it of her. Besides, who could decipher girl language better than a female herself?

"Sure thing, Krill." She pointed to her head. "I'm a walking encyclopedia of how to get a girl."

Biology Class

Vegeta had more than a few questions for his roommate, Goku. He wanted to learn everything he could to win the heart of the woman he had had his eye on for the past couple years. Glancing over at Krillin who was impatiently awaiting advice for his own situation, Vegeta turned to his roommate. "How long did you date that woman for?"

Bulma fought a wince. Vegeta had a habit of constantly referring to women as such, not that the label was inaccurate. It just usually left a bad taste in a girl's mouth, and most women had names which could be used rather than being called 'woman.' She didn't want to be defined by her sex. She wanted to be treated as an equal. At least, that's how Bulma saw it as.

"Way too long," she replied, smugly. "She was fun for a few good times though." She shrugged. Suddenly her phone sounded a very familiar tune of a widely known feminine song. After checking the caller ID, she gave the guys a sheepish smile and explained off-handedly, "It's this chick Yamchella." She tried not to laugh at the emasculation of her ex-boyfriend's name. "She's balls deep in me."

Vegeta was about to respond to the statement, when Nappa joined them and gestured toward the entrance of the room. "Look who's here."

The dormmates all turned to stare. Chi-Chi and her friend had just walked in. Bulma turned back to her roommate whose head hung low. It was strange to see him in such a humbled state. He was usually so arrogant and at times, a douche bag. She surmised that love did weird things to people. It had done so to her in the past, but that was something she wasn't going to touch on in that moment. She didn't have time to dwell on her failed relationship with Yamcha. There were more pressing matters.

"Quit making it obvious," she pointed out in a quiet voice so that other students wouldn't overhear. "You're blushing, dude."

"Shut up," he growled.

'Ah,' Bulma smirked. That was the feisty Saiyan she was used to.

Their instructor walked by at that moment, passed a cylindrical vase around for them to draw names from. The group had done as asked and opened the folded up papers they'd picked out to see just what this semester's partner selection had in store for them.

"Adriana Gero," Vegeta recited. He gave an exasperated sigh and tossed his paper down.

Krillin made a face of disappointment, but said nothing else.

Bulma arched an eyebrow at Nappa, who didn't mind explaining. "Adriana Gero, better known as Aidee or even more commonly as Eighteen. She's very hot but weird as fuck. She can be a huge bitch, but for whatever reason that goes beyond human logic and comprehension, Krillin has a crush on her." Nappa patted his small friend on his bald head affectionately. Krillin just crossed his arms and gave a roll of his eyes.

"Why do they call her Eighteen?" Bulma couldn't help but ask. Her curiosity begged to know.

"Because that's how many seconds it takes for her to turn six guys into human pretzels—three seconds each. It's been witnessed many times."

"Yikes," Bulma said.

Nappa nodded. "I won't even fuck with that. Besides, I think she's a lesbian, and Krillin has a death wish."

"I think she's just misunderstood," Krillin tried to defend her.

"Not much to understand about a psychopath who hates men," Vegeta added.

Bulma cleared her throat to gain their attention. "Be nice," she warned. They all dropped the subject and Bulma finally unfolded her paper to see who her lab partner would be. "Chi-Chi Mao," she read aloud.

Upon hearing her name, Chi-Chi looked to its origin. Bulma smiled in her direction and gave a short wave of her hand. Chi-Chi returned the greeting with an even warmer smile and nod of her head.

"You two know each other?" Vegeta's question came out as more of a demand.

"Acquaintances," Bulma replied. "Why?"

"Because she gave you the look," Nappa explained.

"The look?" Bulma repeated.

Krillin jumped in this time. "Yes, the look. That, I'm undressing you with my eyes and want to do dirty things with you, but please ask me out on a coffee date first so I don't look like a slut look."

"That was way too intricate," Bulma stated flatly. "And way too horny."

He gave a chuckle. "Sorry, probably should have jerked it last night."

"And that was too much information," Bulma added. "Let's just close the discussion right there."

"Switch me," Vegeta said. It was an order, not a question.

"I can't," Bulma said apologetically. "We already made eye contact after I said her name. I'd be offending her if I wasn't her partner now."

"High school politics," the Saiyan grumbled before burying his head in his arms to sulk.

Author's Note: Better late than never I always say. Hopefully this update will hold everyone over until the next one. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It's been fun for me to play with the dialogue and make it more realistic. I think it's more accurate to how guys and chicks usually speak either amongst themselves or to one another. Anyway, tell me your thoughts on the chapter in a review. Feedback is appreciated and welcomed.