The day the ground fell out from under me was cold.

It was a couple weeks after Carla's murder. It had been like a two week long full moon; people were committing crimes, attacking people, and just generally wreaking havoc. The icing on the cake was that all of the people that were apprehended (always sitting in the scene of the crime) claimed they couldn't remember a thing about what happened.

We went about our routines, always feeling like there was a heavy haze covering the world. Winter break started the week before, leaving me with much less to do. I spent a fair amount of time training, feeling that with every passing day something was drawing closer, something I'd need to be ready for.

In the wake of Carla's murder, Pan had withdrawn into herself some. She would still occasionally brighten up, but she was often a different person. Our relationship strained, but I stuck with it. She often didn't want to train any, forcing me to either do everything on my own or ask Goten to give me a hand.

On this day, the day that caused so many people so much pain, I was woken by a loud knocking. I opened my eyes and mumbled a loud, garbled 'who's there?' The door cracked and Pan peeked in. She looked at me.

"Get up. We've got to go down to the village and pick mom up some vegetables." I yawned and sat up. She closed the door, leaving me to get dressed. I grabbed my lightsaber, hooking it to my belt as I had taken to doing when I went out to anywhere but school.

After I had a bit to eat the two of us set off, flying to the nearby village. It was a small collection of houses and public buildings. There was a small concentration of government type buildings in the middle of the town; a town hall, a small bank, a grocer. On the outer edge of the village was an outdoor market.

We landed and walked down the main aisle of the market. Pan knew what we were getting; I was just there for grunt labor. I wandered away from her for a while, looking at peoples' goods, but mostly just walking to walk. I was away from her for about 5 minutes when I heard the scream.

It started piercingly loud, rising in pitch before cutting off suddenly. I whirled around, scanning the crowd. People were staring in the direction the scream came from. The crowd broke, some people moving toward the scream, others moving away. I went toward. I pushed through the crowd, remembering the night at the fair. I tried to find Pan, unsuccessfully.

I broke through the crowd, emerging in an alley between two buildings. The first thing I saw was Pan, staring down at a heap on the ground. I looked at the heap, realizing it was a little boy. Or rather, was, only minutes ago. He was lying, obviously dead, his head tilted at an unnatural angle. It took me a second to find the cause of his death.

The air was filled with the smell of burnt flesh. There was a thin, cauterized wound running from his left shoulder all the way down to his waist. I shuddered at the sight. Pan looked up at me and I recoiled from the hate blazing in her eyes. She suddenly took off, soaring in a sharp arc over the edge of the roof above me, flying toward home. I followed, trying to catch up with her, leaving the startled villagers far below. Despite the many months of practice, she was still a much better flyer than I was. She left me far behind.

When I landed in front of the house she was already inside. I went in and upstairs, taking them two at a time. I stopped at her room and knocked. "Pan?"

"Go away!" she yelled.

"Pan? What is it? What's gotten into you?" That was apparently the wrong thing to say. The door flew open, seeming to create a vacuum that sucked me forward. Pan was standing there, eyes blazing.

"What's gotten into me? I'll tell you what; you're a lying sack of shit." I stood, gaping, not knowing what she was talking about. Her upper lip twitched. "You saw him. You saw what happened to him. It was that." She pointed at the hilt dangling from my waist.

"Wait…you think I did that?" I couldn't believe it, but the look in her eyes told me all I needed to know.

"Who else would have? Who else has one of those? I can't believe you. You show up, come strolling into my life, befriend me, make me love you, and then you start killing people? You've been doing this for months! For all I know you raped Carla, while you were living under my roof. Every time anything happened, you were somewhere else. You've been lying to me, weaseling your way closer for months. I feel sick."

I tried to reach out to her, not sure what I could possibly say; only knowing that I felt like I was dying, like I couldn't breathe. She pulled back violently, as if I was white hot. "Don't touch me!" she shrieked. "Get out of my house! Do it right now or I'll kill you where you stand!"

My arm dropped. I stared at her hate filled face, my throat working. I turned and trudged down the stairs, head down, shoulders slumped. I passed Gohan and Videl without looking at them. I left the house, Pans loud sobs following me into the suddenly darker day.

I don't know how long I walked. Maybe for hours. I couldn't think, I just walked, staring at the ground. My feet barely lifted off the ground, shuffling along, coating my shoes in dirt. I had forgotten my jacket, and was cold. I barely noticed. I could barely feel anything.

My life had fallen apart for the second time in less than 6 months. I hated whoever it was who brought me here. I had been happy, but it couldn't last. I knew I hadn't done any of the things she claimed I'd done. Or did you? No one remembered doing the things they did. What makes you so different?

That voice struck me, making me physically reel. Was it possible? Could I have done all those things and not remembered?

Anything's possible. Look up.

I did without thinking. Standing in the road ahead of me was a man. He was about the same height as me, with long, ragged dark hair. He was wearing a black cloak pulled tight around his body. My eyes locked with his, and I saw insanity there.

I tried to look away and realized I couldn't. I tried to turn my head with no luck. It slowly dawned on me that I couldn't move. I could see and hear fine, but I couldn't move. The man walked closer to me, stopping an arms length away. He stared at me, grinning, his eyes swimming with glee.

"Hello little Jedi," he said softly. I recognized his voice, the voice in my head. He grinned wider. "Very good. You finally catch on. Now, you'll notice you can't move. It's a little trick we Sith have. Mind control, brainwashing, and the occasional memory alteration."

I stared at him, the truth dawning. He must have seen it in my eyes; his grin finally split, showing two rows of perfectly straight teeth. "That's right, I've been here all along. I spotted you the first day you stepped out of that hotel. I should have killed you then, but I would have given myself away to the public too early. I needed you to get close to those who fancy themselves protectors of this world. I will need them out of the way if my plans are to succeed.

"I've been following you ever since I saw you, giving you helpful little hints whenever I felt it necessary." He laughed, a horrible cackle that caused a bird to erupt from the undergrowth in panicked flight. "And you were so willing, eager even, to take my advice; letting me get closer, opening your mind to me. All of it making it so much easier for me to gain my control here."

He reached up and caressed my cheek, causing me to shudder inside, though my actual body didn't move. He chuckled. "The show today was the final glorious piece of my creation. Your woman reacted perfectly. I wasn't sure if the…manipulation I had been doing on her thoughts was taking, but she proved my worries groundless."

He leaned in close, whispering now. "I think I'll have a little fun with her before I'm done." I screamed in my head, feeling whatever little control over myself break. He grinned, then cocked his head to the side, smile fading into a thoughtful look. "Or maybe not. Interesting. Show time begins a little early." He slipped sideways, melting into the shadows under the trees. "I'll be watching." He disappeared fully, his low chuckle following him.

I still couldn't move. I tried to calm down, with little effect. A few moments later I heard the sound of someone flying. I felt myself turning around. As my body finished its turn, I saw Pan descending from the sky. I felt my face change, taking up a worried expression. She landed a good distance away and stood watching me. I wrestled with my body, trying to exert some control, to no avail.

"Gabe," she began softly, "I…I want to apologize. I know nothing I say will help, but I have to try. Dad talked to me. I know you didn't do any of those things. I don't know what got into me." I could see she was crying, a steady stream of tears running down her cheeks. She moved closer to me. "I was so mad, and all that's been happening lately has put me over the edge. I'm so sorry I took it out on you. I don't deserve to be forgiven, but I'm asking it all the same."

I felt my face change again, adopting a friendly smile. "It's OK," I heard my voice say, felt my lips say. "No harm done."

Pan stared at me, confused. "No harm done? I threatened to kill you. I said you raped and killed a girl, a friend."

"I know," my mouth moving again, "but you didn't mean any of it. Like you said, you were stretched beyond breaking. Let's go back home and we can talk this over." She smiled a little, still looking confused, but happy. She was now only a few feet away, just past arm length. She turned, and I felt my left hand dropping to my waist, to the cylinder hooked there. I felt the friendly smile fall off my face, replaced by blankness.

Horror filled me as the scenario began to play itself out. It was my dream all over again, with a different woman playing the lead role. My hand rose of its own accord, seeming to move in slow motion. Pan was facing completely away, not at all aware that her death was only seconds away. My hand came all the way up, leveling the saber at the middle of her back. I screamed in my head, trying to get a word, a sound, anything out to warn her.

PAN!

My thumb stroked the ignition switch.