A/N: Thanks to my one reviewer for the start of this story. This chapters a lot longer so I hope you enjoy it. One small thing is in this first line, I mention the camps version of a morgue. I'm not sure what they would do with bodies at the M*A*S*H so I just made something up. Poetic license and all that. :)
Hawkeye had helped take the body over to the camps version of a morgue. In the morning, his body would be carted away on a bus full of corpses. The corpsman who had helped him with body now left him alone. He wasn't quite ready to go back to the swamp right now. He guessed BJ would be asleep since it was late into the night now. In fact, he assumed it would be morning. He should get some rest. There was no saying that choppers wouldn't be here at any time, the compound once again filled with soldiers clinging to life.
He yawned tiredly. He was too beat to force himself to stay awake much longer.
A sudden movement of the the boys arm caught his attention and for one stupid moment, his mind flashed through the idea that he wasn't dead. Then he gripped onto reality. He'd seen dead bodies have these spasms of movement before. He always had hated it. Leave, he told himself. Leave before you get sucked into a pit of despair.
Tomorrow would be a new day.
He could only hope it would be better.
oOo
BJ Hunnicutt refused to open his eyes.
He was awake, had been for a while now, but he wanted to hang onto the idea of sleep for a little while longer, not ready to give up on how nice it was to be able to stay where he was.
It amazed him that he was able to sleep at all here. He remembered his first few nights here so well. He'd watched Hawkeye quickly sink into sleep and he'd just lay there, exhausted from his trip and working almost as soon as he'd got to camp, but unable to switch his mind off. He was trying to process it all still. Being in Korea, in a war zone, so close the the front. Even the camp in the middle of the night seemed full of noise still. The sounds of the Korean night-life were something he wasn't yet used to. Hawkeye, and at that time Frank, were accustomed to it. It didn't bother them. All BJ could do was lay there and wonder how safe they were. They were living in tents after all. Anything that got dropped on them would kill them. A sniper could take a shot at any one of them easily enough. He was terrified to sleep and yet, after a few more days, it became so routine and he became so exhausted by the work that he never seemed to notice those noises any more.
So even now, as he heard everyone in camp go about their daily routines, he just kept his eyes closed. Let them carry on. He knew that his sleep wouldn't be interrupted unless an emergency occurred. Sometimes he felt lucky to be a doctor.
The enlisted men had to work just as hard and just as long as the doctors and nurses, yet they'd never have any let up. When the medical personnel had a break because of a ceasefire, the cooks still had to cook. Of course, it was a little easier to learn how to cook and egg than it was to become a doctor but that was beside the point.
BJ opened his eyes as he heard Father Mulcahy's voice outside. The tents had the mosquito netting up and he was able to see the priest walking and talking with one of the nurses as they entered the Mess tent. Another thing that didn't bug him any more. Being on display for all to see when the mosquito netting was up. Bad enough to be constantly sharing a tent with two other men, strangers at that. But when you considered the fact that no matter what you said or did during those warm days could not only be heard but seen by everyone, well, it took some getting used to.
BJ was relieved that he considered himself a pretty carefree man before being drafted. He adjusted. He knew that it was temporary and eventually, God willing, he would get home again and back to Peg, Erin and his privacy. BJ turned on his cot and looked across the Swamp. Charles bed was empty. If he remembered rightly, Winchester was on duty last night. He was certain Potter was on the next shift. He glanced across to him other bunkie's bunk to see Hawkeye laying on the cot, not looking very well rested.
"Morning," BJ greeted.
Hawkeye cast his gaze over to BJ, as though he needed to see who it was before he replied. He managed a weak smile and replied BJ's greeting.
"You okay?"
Hawkeye sighed, looked thoughtful for a moment. "Yeah, I guess so. I just..." He cut himself off. He didn't want to go on to BJ about it after spending the whole night obsessing over it.
"That kid you worked on didn't make it."
"I should have known better, should have listened to what everyone else was telling me." Hawkeye shook his head and got up off the bed. "I'm sorry, Beej, I've gone over this all night."
"Doesn't seem to have helped much.
"I'll be fine," Hawkeye dismissed. "You want to grab some breakfast?"
"Sure," BJ said getting out of bed himself and starting to dress.
Klinger came from the Swamp door before BJ had finished dressing. "Sorry to disturb you Sirs, but Captain Pierce, Colonel Potter is requesting your presence in his office right away, Sir."
"Okay, thanks Klinger," Hawkeye said, getting up and making his way to the door. "Hey Beej, save me some of the good stuff, okay?"
BJ smiled, "I'll try but you know what it's like at this time. We'll have all the leftovers."
oOo
Hawkeye strode across to the Colonel's office, where Potter was sat at his desk, filling in some paperwork.
"You wanted to see me Colonel?"
Potter looked up "Pierce, you've got a missing body."
"What?"
"Your boy... Merriweather. There's no body."
"No body? That's impossible. I took him to the morgue myself. Well, with a Corpsman obviously."
"Well, the bodies missing."
"Okay, so what do you want me to do about it?" Hawkeye asked, not sure exactly where this was going.
"Well, Winchester happened to mention that you were, what's the word, determined to see it through to the end."
"Right."
Potter hesitated. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to say this next bit without implying Hawkeye had flipped. "Do you think that maybe you, erm..."
"Sir, they found the body," Klinger said, interrupting.
"Where?"
"On the road."
"The road? Pierce?"
"Are you saying you think that's where we took him?" Hawkeye demanded.
"Actually, he took himself. He's not dead. He was walking up the road," Klinger explained.
"That's impossible."
The office phone started ringing. "Klinger, I'll get this, I want you to sort out those requisition forms I asked for yesterday. Pierce, go and sort out your patient," Potter left no time for response, picking up the phone as soon as he was finished.
Hawkeye and Klinger both left the office. "Where's the kid, Klinger?"
"Up past Rosie's bar. Zale was keeping an eye on him."
"Thanks Klinger."
Hawkeye raced up past Rosie's bar where he found his formerly dead patient, wondering slowly away from camp. "Hey, kid?" Hawkeye called, slowing down his pace so he didn't startle the youngster. He came level with him, but Jake made no movement to stop his slow amble away from camp.
"Need any more help, Captain?" Zale asked. He'd kept his distance and didn't seem to interested in hanging around any longer.
"No, I'm fine," Hawkeye said, and watched Zale leave. "Jake?" Hawkeye tried again. He reached for the boys hand and was shocked at the level of cold he felt. He quickly shook off his jacket and placed it over the boys shoulders. "Come on, Jake, how about we get you back to camp, huh? Warm you up a bit."
The boys head slowly started to turn towards Hawkeye. His eyes seemed clouded and unseeing. His skin pale. Hawkeye still had a hold of the boys hand and slipped his grip up towards his wrist, feeling for a pulse. When he couldn't locate it there, he tried the boys neck. A sick feeling washed over Hawkeye as he began to question his own sanity. Maybe it was him. Maybe he couldn't find the pulse on this kid and that's why he'd thought he was dead last night, when clearly he wasn't.
He re-directed them both so they were heading towards camp and took a slow, painful journey back.
oOo
BJ had finished breakfast and was leaving the Mess tent when he saw Hawkeye walking slowly towards camp with an apparently injured man besides him. BJ made his way towards the pair, grabbing a wheelchair by one of the tents to assist the kid.
When BJ reached the pair, he realised just who the kid was. "That's the kid you were working on?"
"Jake," Hawkeye filled in.
"What the hell is he doing walking around out here"" BJ ranted, not directed at Hawkeye, but he'd seen the extend of the boys injuries.
"Beej, I thought this kid died. I think..." Hawkeye suddenly felt some sort of incredible pressure upon himself. He took a breath to try and control it, but it didn't seem to help. "I think you need to take care of him, okay? I don't think I can do it any more." Hawkeye had been guiding the kid, gently guiding him by the arm and now handed him over to BJ. Everything inside him made him want to run away from this, but he kept control with what little dignity he had and walked off.
"Hawk?" BJ called after him, concerned by his friends behaviour. But as concerned as he was, Hawkeye would have to wait a moment because this kid needed him more. He looked like death.
BJ gently helped the boy sit in the wheelchair and took him straight to post-op.
oOo
Colonel Potter sat in his office with both Hunnicutt and Winchester.
They all shared the same look of confusion and concern.
"I just don't understand it, Colonel. I checked the boy three times myself," Winchester said, perplexed at the situation.
"I don't get it either, Winchester. I mean when you two boys first told me I thought it was going to be a case of me being able to teach two younger doctors something new, something from my own experience. But I've never seen anything like this before."
"What do we do with him? We can't treat him, we can't send him anywhere," BJ asked.
"I don't want this getting out around camp. I don't want anyone to panic. I say we set the boy up in the VIP tent. We could do with letting Margaret in on this as well because one of us needs to be with him at all times and if we have too many wounded show up, we might have to sacrifice Margaret in OR to watch over the boy."
"What are we watching over him for? Signs of life?" Winchester asked.
Potter shook his head. He was as stumped by this as the other two men. "First things first. Lets get the boy moved. Winchester, go take care of that. Get Margaret to help you and when you're in the privacy of the VIP tent, let her know everything that we do."
Winchester nodded his head and left the office. Potter turned to BJ. "Worried about Pierce?"
BJ nodded, tearing his eyes away from the corner of the desk he's been so intently staring at. "I saw Hawk earlier and he just seemed so... overwhelmed."
Potter took a bottle and two glasses from the cabinet and poured them both a drink. BJ looked at him for a bit, before following Potter's lead and downing it. "Why don't you have a little look around, see if you can find him? Set his mind at ease a little. He can't have gone far."
"Thanks Colonel."
It was what BJ needed to hear, what he needed to be doing. Plus it would help to alleviate some of the guilt in letting Hawkeye go in the first place.