"So it seems that you and Naruto have been getting along a lot better now," Gaara asked Sasuke making casual conversation. These counseling sessions had become rather regular despite Gaara's frustration in having to put up with Sasuke's stunts.
"Yeah, I guess. It seems the whole Hinata breaking up with him and going out with you really did something for our relationship," replied Sasuke.
"Really? I heard Naruto took that pretty hard."
"Well yeah he did. I haven't had sex since," Sasuke pouted. "But other then that we've been closer."
"You really don't think about anything else do you?"
"What?"
Gaara simply glared at Sasuke. He knew exactly what he was talking about.
"I think about other things." Sasuke looked away slightly as his eyes shifted around the room.
"Enlighten me."
"Um ...well...Naruto...how I'm supposed to resurrect my clan if I'm gay...you..."
"...Was that last one necessary?"
"You asked."
"I'm starting to wish I hadn't."
Later that evening Naruto and Sasuke were laying close to each other engaged in a rather interesting conversation. Naruto rested his head on Sasuke's chest and laughed playfully. "I'm telling you Sasuke, that wouldn't work."
"It so would."
"No it wouldn't. It doesn't matter what you do your not going to make him gay."
"I'm telling you, it'd work. I'd just have to convince him long enough to-"
"And when he finds out?" Naruto interrupted, still laughing.
"He'd be far to enthralled with me to care," Sasuke stated with confidence.
"Right...you go ahead and try that Sasuke."
"You wanna bet?"
"Heh. How much?"
"50."
"Wait. Seriously?" Naruto looked up at Sasuke a little surprised. "You're going to bet me 50 bucks on this?"
"What, afraid you'll loose?"
"Not at all. Just give me a copy of your will before you leave."
"Oh haha. Very funny." Sasuke then got up and walked out of the room.
"I can't believe you're actually going to do this!" Naruto yelled after him.
A few minutes later Sasuke walked back into the room wearing tan capris, a hooded sweater with a mesh shirt underneath, a wig and his headband around his neck.
Naruto looked at Sasuke for a few seconds and then burst into a hysterical laughter. "Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha..."
"Shut up. You know I look good."
"Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha..."
"I'll be back shortly for that 50 bucks," Sasuke replied as he began to walk away.
"Yeah, okay. I'll just be here, ya know, planning your funeral," Naruto chimed in amusement trying to hold back his laughter.
Sasuke ignored Naruto's comment and walked out of the house. He headed straight for Gaara's office.
When he arrived he knocked on the door and opened it slowly. "Um Gaara?...Uh...I mean..." Sasuke then cleared his throat and repeated himself, speaking in a mock female voice. "Um...Gaara?" He slowly walked into the office.
Gaara Sat at his desk, looking rather suspicious. He then looked up quickly and noticed Sasuke dressed up like Hinata. "Um. Sasuke? What the hell are you doing?"
"Um...I don't know what your talking about? It...It's me...Hinata." Sasuke stuttered, trying to make his voice sound soft and feminine.
"Look, Sasuke I'd love to sit here and watch you make even more of a fool of yourself but I'm really kind of...busy...right now." Gaara's eyes shifted around the room slightly.
"With...ehem." He cleared his throat again almost forgetting to speak feminine. "W..with what?"
"And here I thought I had issues."
Sasuke then walked over to Gaara. "So busy you...don't even have time for your girlfriend?" He asked as he leaned in close to Gaara.
Gaara just sat there and stared at Sasuke with disappointment and disbelief. He couldn't believe that Sasuke would actually go this far.
Sasuke then leaned in closer and tried to kiss Gaara.
Gaara quickly pushed Sasuke back. "Sasuke, I don't have time to deal with you right now."
"But you don't look very busy to me." Sasuke noted, still speaking in a female voice.
"Well I am. I have a lot of um..." Gaara shifted his eyes around the room looking for an excuse. "Paper work...that I have to finish.
"What paper work?" Sasuke looked around but didn't see even one piece of paper anywhere.
Just then a hand Inconspicuously appeared behind Gaara holding a stack of papers.
Gaara quickly grabbed the stack of papers, straightened them and laid them on the desk. "This paperwork," Gaara replied with relief. "So...here's what I'm going to do." He opened one of his desk drawers, pulled out a small rectangular piece of paper and began to scribble something down.
Sasuke leaned over Gaara's shoulder. "W...what are you writing?" Sasuke asked, speaking in his natural voice again.
"I told you, I don't have time to deal with you right now. You can come back and explain yourself to me tomorrow. In the meantime..." Gaara then handed Sasuke the piece of paper along with a bottle of pills. "I'm prescribing you these."
"You're giving me pills?!"
"Yes. I want you to take two per day. One in the morning and one before you go to bed. Hopefully they'll balance out your hormones.
Sasuke, refusing to fail this time, wrapped his arms loosely around Gaara's neck and kissed him on the cheek. "I think you just need to relax." He then began to delicately massage Gaara's shoulders.
Gaara slowly turned to face Sasuke glaring at him, looking very annoyed. "Kindly...remove...your hands...from my shoulders..."
Sasuke looked at Gaara for a few seconds, unsure of how to react. He then kissed Gaara directly on the lips. "I love you too."
Gaara, patience faltering, pushed Sasuke off of him and hit him violently across the head. "Sasuke! You try that one more time and I swear I will rip your head off and feed it to you! Then I'll turn you inside out and tear you into little tiny minuscule pieces!! You got that!!! What the fuck is wrong with you?!!"
Sasuke rubbed the back of his head in pain. "Ow."
"Now as I said..." Gaara continued as he regained some composure. "I'm rather busy at the moment so I will allow you to come back tomorrow. Though, I'm not sure why I should?" He then motioned for Sasuke to leave the room. He rubbed his mouth and cheek with the back of his hand in disgust. He then looked down at his hand noticing it had an unusual shine to it. He then looked questioningly at Sasuke. "Are you wearing lip gloss?"
Sasuke looked away ashamed. "Uh...It...It was Sakura's."
Gaara stared at Sasuke in disbelief.
"Yeah...um...I'll...just be going now."
"Yes. Yes you will."
Sasuke began to walk towards the door but suddenly noticed a bra on the back of Gaara's chair.
Gaara looked up at Sasuke noticing him starring. "...What?"
"Um...why is there a bra on the back of your-"
Gaara turned around and noticed Hinata's bra. "Hey, look over there!" he shouted suddenly, hoping to distract Sasuke.
Sasuke naively turned around. "What?!"
Gaara then quickly grabbed the bra and threw it under his desk. "Oh you missed it."
Sasuke turned back around in confusion. "...Hey, where'd it go?"
"Where'd what go?"
"The...oh, never mind."
"Alright then." Gaara then stood up and began to physically push Sasuke out of the room.
"Wait. Can I ask you one last thing?"
"What?" Gaara sighed in an irritated tone.
"What gave me away?"
Gaara looked at Sasuke with a raised eyebrow. "You can't be serious?"
Sasuke just stood there, awaiting an answer.
"Well first of all I know the difference between my girlfriend and you dressed up as my girlfriend. Number two, you're not a very good voice actor. And number three...Hinata's under my desk."
"What?!"
Hinata then peeked her head out from under the desk. "Heh heh..."
Sasuke looked from Gaara to Hinata in confusion, slow to realize what was going on.
Gaara then continued to push Sasuke towards the door. "So...Goodbye." He continued as he began to speak rapidly. "I'll see you, unfortunately, tomorrow and we can have a nice long talk about this stupid and humiliating, on your part, attempt to-"
"It was a bet..." Sasuke interrupted in an attempt to explain himself.
"Sure it was...," Gaara replied not believing him for a second, still speaking rapidly. "And you can tell me all about it tomorrow after I've had the night to plot the appropriate way to murder you." He then pushed Sasuke out of his office and slammed the door behind him.
"...but..." Sasuke pushed on the door, trying to walk back in. "He locked it?...Bastard!...What the hell are he and Hinata doing in there any way?..." He thought for a second and then quickly headed for the ventilation system. He finally reached the vent over Gaara's office and peeked through to spy on Gaara and Hinata.
Gaara had his hands delicately holding Hinata's face as he kissed her. Hinata had her arms hanging loosely around Gaara's neck. She was wearing only her capris and her bra.
Sasuke leaned back in somewhat of a sitting position. "So he really isn't gay?...Awww man..." He let out a depressed sigh and began to turn around to leave when he heard a loud crack. "What the...?"
Hinata and Gaara also heard the noise from inside office below.
"W...what was that?" Hinata asked
"I have no idea."
Suddenly the vent broke.
"Waaaaaaaaaa...!!!" Sasuke screamed as he fell and landed directly in front of Gaara and Hinata. "Ow."
Hinata and Gaara stared blankly at Sasuke.
Sasuke stood up and blushed as he quickly headed for the door. "I'll... just be going now..."
Gaara then grabbed Sasuke by the collar and pulled him back. He was not pleased. "Sasuke? Care to tell me what the hell it is you were doing in the ventilation system above my office?"
"Um...not really, no," Sasuke replied in a cowardly tone.
Gaara glared angrily at Sasuke. "Leave. Now." He then let go of Sasuke.
"Right, okay...umm...sorry about the-"
"Do you value your life?" Gaara asked suddenly.
Sasuke backed up slightly in fear. "Umm...yes."
"Then leave."
"But...I...I was just...," Sasuke tried to explain.
"Before I kill you now."
"Uh...heh...heh..." Sasuke backed up a little more.
Gaara then sent his sand chasing quickly after Sasuke.
"Oh shit!" Sasuke exclaimed as he began to run.
"Don't underestimate me. I will kill you."
The sand grabbed Sasuke's jacket pulling him back viciously.
"Crap!" Sasuke quickly removed his jacket and, just barely escaping, ran for his life. "Okay, okay, I get it, I'm gone! Please don't kill me!" Sasuke yelled as he continued to run full speed out of Gaara's office and all the way home.
Gaara let out a sigh. It wasn't worth chasing after him. His sand retreated.
"What is wrong with him?" Hinata asked, looking up innocently at Gaara.
"He's a desperate homosexual with serious abandonment issues."
"Sounds like Naruto...but you forgot unfaithful bastard."
"...God I love you."
Hinata blushed modestly.
In the meantime, back at Sasuke's house, Naruto was sitting casually at the kitchen table.
Sasuke burst through the door panting and out of breath. He lost the wig he was wearing while running.
"Tried to kill you didn't he?" Naruto smirked.
"Shut up."
"Where's my 50 bucks?"
Sasuke walked over to the table and threw down 50 bucks along with the bottle of pills and prescription Gaara gave him.
"Thank you very much." He then noticed the prescription and pill bottle. "What's this?" Naruto asked as he picked up the piece of paper. He read Gaara's scribbled handwriting and began to laugh. "Haha...he prescribed you pills?"
"Shut up. You got your 50 bucks."
Naruto then turned around to look at Sasuke. "I like the mesh," he commented in a seemingly sarcastic tone.
Sasuke glared at Naruto.
"No seriously it's pretty hot."
Sasuke said nothing and walked into the bedroom.
Naruto picked up the money on the table and counted it, confident in his victory. "20, 40, and a ten is 50. Sweet." He folded the money and placed it in his pocket.
After a few short minutes Sasuke came back into the kitchen wearing shorts but still wearing the mesh shirt. He Sat down beside Naruto and leaned over the table resting his head on his arms.
Naruto looked over at Sasuke. "You're still wearing the mesh?"
"You said you liked it so I didn't bother changing it."
"Awww...what's wrong Sasuke?" Naruto asked, noticing how depressed Sasuke looked.
"I can't believe he's not gay."
"Oh, finally got the hint ya?"
"It isn't fair," Sasuke pouted.
"I'm surprised you're still alive."
Sasuke half-ignored Naruto's comment. "I thought I might actually have a chance."
"Oh no...my poor Sasuke's heartbroken..." Naruto then leaned over and hugged Sasuke. "What can I do to cheer you up?"
Sasuke looked up at Naruto with an intrigued look in his eye.
"Except that," Naruto replied quickly, knowing exactly what Sasuke was thinking.
"Awww come on..."
"Sasuke, I am not dying my hair red."
"But...
"No."
"But..."
"Or shaving my eyebrows."
"But..."
"And I am not painting the kanji symbol for love on my forehead."
"But..."
"No."
"Couldn't you just..."
"No."
"Not even..."
"No!"
"What about..."
"No!!"
"But..."
"Sasuke! What did I just say?"
Sasuke remained silent.
"Well...?"
"...No..."
"Good. So, am I dying my hair red?"
Sasuke perked up in his seat hopefully. "...ye-"
Naruto cut him off with a glare.
Sasuke slouched back in his seat again. "...No..."
"And am I shaving my eyebrows?"
"...No..."
"Am I painting the kanji symbol for love on my forehead?"
Sasuke let out a heavy sigh. "...No..."
"Good," Naruto smiled as he patted Sasuke on the head ruffling his hair a little.
"Hmph..."
Naruto then began to walk to the bedroom patting Sasuke consolingly on the back as he passed. "Well...I'm going to bed," Naruto said finally, letting out a yawn.
"Yeah...I'll be there in a second."
"Okay but you might not wanna wait that long...," Naruto Said as he let a sly smile creep across his face. "I might change my mind..."
"Wait. Huh?" Sasuke Perked up in his seat again and turned to look at Naruto. "Change your mind about what?"
Naruto winked at Sasuke as he disappeared into the bedroom. "Oh I think you know what."
Sasuke jumped out of his seat and ran after Naruto. "Coming!" He yelled as he followed Naruto into the bedroom.
"Ah...I thought that'd cheer you up."
"So...you're serious?" Sasuke asked, a little suprised. "You're not still all depressed about-"
"Sasuke if you don't get your ass over here right now and kiss me I will change my mind and it'll be another week before you get anything at all," Naruto interrupted.
"Another week?!"
Naruto, getting frustrated with Sasuke's hesitation, Grabbed Sasuke and kissed him. "Would you shut up?"
"...Shutting up."
Naruto and Sasuke kissed passionately and fell onto the bed. The next morning they awoke laying naked in each other's arms.
"...That...was worth...the wait...," Sasuke smiled as he turned over onto his back.
"...Yep...definitely..."
"But I am not...waiting that long again..."
"...Hell no."
"Wanna go again right now?"
"...Hell yes."
And with that ends Chapter 6. This one seems a little shorter them my last ones. Oh well. It's still funny. And thank you Kristie for Sasuke in drag! Woot! I might have to make you co writer. lol.