.::I do not Own the Outsiders::.

"I reach to the sky
And call out your name
Oh please let me trade, I would

And it feels and it feels like
Heaven's so far away
And it feels, yeah it feels like
The world has grown cold
Now that you've gone away"

Sodapop Curtis rested his head against Ponyboy's chest, tears still falling freely from his red puffy eyes. He just couldn't believe his baby brother was really gone, after so much patience to have him home, it was all in vain. Darrel Jr. spaced out, his hand grabbed Pony's now cold smaller hand. His head was pointing towards the white wall not really thinking of anything, just feeling many things at once. Johnny was in his chair his mouth pressed into tight straight line, his eyes burned holding back tears. The silence in the room screamed the truth.

Then walked in the 2 greasers who had left a while ago, Twobit was munching on a small bag of cookies but stopped when he saw all the sad faces. Steve stood still by the door getting an uneasy feeling rising.

"What did we miss?" Twobit asked.

Soda let out a pained sob, "P-Pony..."

Steve gulped, "Soda...Is it...Is he..."

His friend nodded caressing Pony's cheek, "He is Steve. He is..."

Twobit dropped his snack on the floor making a mess now getting it, shaking his head he rushed over to Pony's bed, "He ain't dead..." His voice cracked while nudging Pony on the leg, "You ain't dead squirt, right? You can't. You can't!"

Darry closed his eyes hearing the anguish in his voice, "He died while you were gone. He couldn't...he couldn't be saved..."

Steve looked away not wanting to see the little boy's lifeless body feeling too disturbed at that moment. Soda smeared his hand on his face,"Oh God why? Why why why?"

Twobit's face scrunched up, he bolted out the room slamming the door behind him running out of the building not being able to control himself. Johnny sighed leaning his head against the cool wall staring up at the ceiling, Steve sat next to him placing his elbows on his legs his face into his hands, Christ...Christ...Why'd ya have to leave kid? Why? We lost you but now-now we're gonna loose Soda too. Damn it...Damn it...

Afterwards, the Priest came by saying how sorry he was for such a young life to be taken away. The four of them stayed praying for their young friend murmuring Amen. Even though Steve or Johnny aren't really religious, they still remained in the room. Soda, through the whole thing, couldn't stop bawling. My baby...my baby...

The next was the funeral, it was held in the church where their mother went every Sunday to attend before dying. The same church their parent's funeral was held. That night Soda nor Darry had a blink of sleep. They just laid in bed thinking, remembering. Sodapop kept tossing around in bed, he hugged Pony's pillow knowing he wasn't going to sleep next to him ever again, wake up to his small face smiling when it was time to get up for breakfast, never again will he be able to snuggle with him when he had nightmares. Never again. Darry could hear his only remaining brother sniff from his room which brought tears to his eyes but he wiped them away quickly.

Twobit, that night, decided to get drunk at Buck's, he thought getting intoxicated could make him forget about the recent death of Ponyboy. He even talked out loud not caring if anyone heard him, "Ya know whaat? Life suuucks. I sweaaar, I-I just duun't get life. Is there evuun a God? I doon't thaank shoo," Gulp,"If theeere wuus, why would-would he take a shiiild? A kid? Whyyy?" He slurred.

Tim Shepard arrived with a couple of friends minutes later, he heard Twobit's words. The first thing that popped into his mind was that something bad had happened, he knew how Twobit acted when drunk so this wasn't normal especially if he talked about such a subject so he swiftly walked over to his table pulling up a chair, "What are you talking about, Twobit? What happened?"

Twobit had a grim expression, a lot of beer bottles were on his table. The one on his hand fell as he scooted over to Tim. He stank of alcohol, Tim grimaced pushing away Keith, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Ya wanna know what's wrooong with me?" He took a sip of another beer beside him,"I'll tell you what the fuck is wruung. Life man, liiife is so unfair. I mean, you love someone sooo much," Another sip, "He was just a kid maan. Just a kid! Jesus Christ..."

Tim's eyes widened knowing exactly who he was talking about, another voice was heard behind them. It was Dallas Winston with a pissed off face. He took hold of Twobit by the collar of shirt dragging him away from the bar place where everyone was already looking a little afraid of what might happen. Tim followed, he signaled his other friends to stay put. Dally threw Keith against a car, "Talk Mathews. What. Happened?" He hissed.

Twobit's bottom lip quivered and with a pained voice, "Pony's dead, Dal. He's gone..."

Tim caught his breath cursing, Dally's eyes widened instantly letting go of weeping Twobit. He backed away a little with the words hanging in the air, Pony's dead Dal. He's gone... The day that Pony gave him the cookie appeared in his mind, then of him grinning when Dally took him to the park. When he saw him for the first time, those green eyes staring back at him with no fear just simple curiosity. His hands clenched up, he yelled throwing a crystal bottle from the ground to a car nearby cracking one of its windows. He didn't care if he got in trouble he only wanted to let out his rage, Tim tried calming him down but only pissed him off more.

"Fuck...FUCK!"

Twobit fell on his knees, "I wish-I wish it coulda been me. Not the squirt...Not the squirt...Ah God..."

Dally shook his head angrily kicking the same car wanting to destroy it, "There is no God Twobit! There is none! If there was, he wouldn't take a kid! Don't you understand?! Fuck this!" Just as he was going to slash the tires, Tim held him back.

"Calm the fuck down Dal!"

Dally spun around his blade in his hand dangerously, "Don't you fucking tell me to cal down Tim, don't you fucking dare." Seconds of silence passed. The music from Buck's place echoed. Twobit had stopped crying, he only frowned looking down at the ground. Tim stayed silent alert if the fuzz showed. Dally left moments later angry at what he heard, angry at life.

The next morning, Soda still awake in bed, was hauled up by Darry. He looked very tired, they silently dressed themselves for the sad occasion. They didn't even eat breakfast not hungry at all. Steve walked inside with some black clothes of his own. Johnny walked in after him with bags under his eyes also not having any sleep. They waited for the rest to come, meaning Twobit and Dally.

"You really think Dally will show up?" Steve asked.

Darry sighed, "I don't know but let's wait a little."

"How about Twobit?" Johnny spoke.

When he finished asking, in came Twobit. The gang looked up, he simply nodded a hello not saying a single word. They drove off in Darry's truck, some in the front, some on the back. Parking by the church, Soda saw some people already there. Laura the therapist who's eyes were glassy, Darry's boss, Mrs. Mathews with Karen, Tim, Angela and their kid brother, Curly, looking all gloomy. Soda felt a pang of envy, lucky them to have their baby brother alive...Mine ain't... But he quickly shook that thoughtaway knowing that the masked killer was thinking the same with Ponyboy which brought back other bad feelings.

The Greasers walked towards the church, Darry being the oldest was greeted with many words of comfort, he was grateful but didn't really feel any console. Soda hurried inside, he didn't want any contact with any of them. How can they be fucking sorry? They don't know how it feels. They know nothing. Inside, he froze on the spot at what he saw. The rows of seats were empty since everybody was at the entrance, the only thing that was there was a small white casket with many flowers surrounding it. It was open. He jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder, it was Darry.

"I know Soda. I know."

Now that the brothers were inside, the rest walked in. Darry seated himself on the front row along with the gang. Sodapop hung his head low as the funeral began. The Priest spoke, "Let us commend Ponyboy Michael Curtis to the mercy of God..."

The middle brother spaced out. When everyone stood he kept seated. His eyes on the ground lost in memories.

"I'm scawed Soda..."

"Don't be scared 'lil colt, I'm here. I'm here. C'mere."

"Hey Soda..."

"Yeah Pone?"

"I love you..."

Steve elbowed him lightly, "Soda...Soda...It's time."

It was time for each person to go by his casket to say goodbye. One by one they went. First was Steve, he took a deep breath before looking down at Ponyboy. He could feel his eyes burn, tears forming in his eyes, his hand roughly wiped them away.

"Can you pwomise me somethin?"

"What?"

Pony sighed sadly, "Can you make him happy again? When I'm not dewe? And if you can, Dawy too. I don't like my broders ow fwiends being sad...Please?"

Steve nodded mindlessly remembering the phone call from some time ago when he was taken away, I'll keep that promise kid. I will. With that he left, next up was Johnny. He furrowed his eyebrows together saying with a low voice, "Gosh Pony, I'm sure gonna miss you. We all are. You weren't supposed to die. We were gonna finish Gone with the Wind...I love you Pone, I just hope you're better where you are. I'll never forget you."

Twobit was up, he kept licking his lips having a dry mouth from nervousness. "Oh squirt, what am I going to do without you? You were just a kid, a baby for Christ's sake...I'm gonna miss you squirt. Maybe someday I get to take you out for ice cream, heh...Maybe some day..."

Darry. The oldest Curtis held his head up high, he had to be strong like on his parent's funeral. He's supposed to be the strong one. At least for that event, later he could break but only by himself. His jaw was tightened, it was very hard for him though. It wasn't easy seeing a toddler dead especially if it's a family member. I failed you Mom and Dad, I promised you I'd keep my brothers safe. Now-now Ponyboy is dead...I hope you can forgive me. At least he-he's with you know. Tell him...Tell him we'll miss him so much. More than anyone can ever imagine.

At last, Sodapop. Each step he felt an icy sting in his chest getting deeper and deeper. His eyes laid upon the open casket, there he was, his brother. His eyes closed never to open again. His face was awfully pale. Soda could swear he was only sleeping. Again, the crying began. He thought of the memory when his mother brought Pony home the first day. How excited he was to watch him sleep, feed him his mill bottle when his mother was around. When he and Darry taught him to walk and his first words. He beamed when Pony was able to pronounce Soda. Damn it Pony! You couldn't fight? Huh? You could of...Oh Ponyboy, I-I don't think I can live without you. I really can't. I feel so-so weak. Why'd you have to go baby? Why? How the hell do you expect me to go on without you? I'll miss you so much, so so much. If I had known...God, If i had only known.

The day after was the burial. From the church they walked to the cemetery. Darry wanted Pony to be buried next to their parents. The greasers carried the casket. This was much harder, this really meant that it would be the last time they ever got to see the young Curtis's face. As they lowered it, Soda held on to Darry's arm tightly. Steve was holding on to Soda's shoulder, Twobit cried silently with Johnny. The grave was dug up. After a while some people left until it was only Darry with Soda. Steve, Twobit and Johnny were waiting for them in Darry's truck knowing they'd want some time alone. Soda kneeled down touching Pony's headstone. Darry bit the inside of his cheek.

"What are we gonna do Dar?"

"...We move one Soda...That's all that's left..."

Soda nodded, "Let's go Darry."

The Curtis brothers held on to one another leaving the cemetery. Sodapop glanced behind him once more. Goodbye...

(Sorry for any grammar mistakes)