.::I do not own The Outsiders::.
"I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion (yeah)
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down
(In to space)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
(I thought of just your face)"
"Soda!"
He rubbed his eyes trying to adjust to the bright light in the room he was in. Groaning, Sodapop sat up wondering where the heck he was. The soft young voice yelled his name again. Something about it made him stand up looking for the person, the bright light vanished showing a small park he recognized very well. Tulsa park. The voice hummed a familiar song, he finally saw the person. It was a boy, he was sitting on one of the swing staring down at his feet smiling. Soda froze, he knew exactly who the small boy was. At that moment he felt like his heart stopped. The little boy looked up grinning, then he jumped off the swing rushing to Soda giving him a hug.
"Soda!"
"P-P-Ponyboy...Ponyboy!" In an instant he knelt down wrapping his arms around Ponyboy crying happily, with his hand he ruffled his hair sniffing, "I-I missed you so much 'lil colt! I-I can't believe you're really here!"
"I missed you too Soda! And Dawy! Twobit, Dally, Johnny and even Steve!"
"Gosh Pone, is it really you kiddo?"
"Of couwse it's me silly! I came by to visit! I saw dat you wewe vewy sad. I had to say hi."
"What do you mean you saw me?"
His little brother frowned sadly, he took his big brothers hand leading him to a bench, the small park was empty, only them two. The sun shone brightly with puffy clouds hovering above. Ponyboy was next to Soda snuggling beside him, " I'm an angel now Soda, like Mama and Daddee. I can see you. And you look vewy sad like eveywone else. I don't like you being sad. It makes Mama, Daddee and me sad too."
Soda swallowed the knot forming in his throat smiling weakly, "Oh Pony, it's just that, we really miss you. You're not with us no more, how can we not be sad?"
Pony pointed at him giving him a warm smile, "I'm always gonna be with you Soda, ya just gotta believe."
Those words will be marked in his mind forever, that smile engraved into his memory. Sodapop sighed staring up at the sky thinking how this could probably just be a dream...Even if it is I'll enjoy every second of it, so he turned to Pony and starting tickling him like the old days. Pony squealed trying to escape his small attack. After a couple of seconds, Pony ran from him going to the park hiding. Soda caught him again pushing him to the ground playfully. After what seemed like hours they laid down on the grass panting from running so much.
Ponyboy sighed contently, "I have to go now Soda."
Soda sat up "What?"
"It's time fow me to leave," with one small hand on Soda's cheek he whispered, "Pwease Soda, don't be sad anymowe. I'm ok now, you be happy."
He then stood on his legs walking away slowly, the whole park seemed to fade away, young Curtis waved bye at him also fading with the rest of the scene. Tears slid down his cheeks when he saw Pony disappear, "See you soon Pone."
Waking up, he jolted upwards from his bed breathing steadily to catch his breath. His eyes adjusted to the room, outside the sun was up letting everyone know it was time to get up to start a new day. Darry's voice was heard out his bedroom door knocking softly, "Time to wake up 'lil buddy, Steve will be here any minute."
"Y-yeah I'll be right out."
The dream had felt so real, Pony's words, all that playing in the park, all that laughter. He touched his cheek lightly, "Don't worry Pone, I won't be sad anymore..."
After a quick shower, he ate breakfast in fast bites as Steve told him to hurry up so they wouldn't be late. Darry raised an eyebrow noticing something different about his brother. Twobit came in the house with Johnny pushing him playfully to the couch, "Greetings fellow greasers! Ain't it a wonderful day out?"
Soda nodded eagerly rushing outside taking in a gulp of fresh air, "It sure is Twobit, c'mon Stevie! Thought you were in such a hurry! See ya later Darry! Bye Twobutt! Johnny!" He winked them a goodbye.
Steve and Darry gave each other a weird look, Darry was right there was something different. Twobit grinned sitting down on the couch, "Gooolly, so Soda is finally out of his zombie state. Miracle?"
Steve shrugged although inside he felt some small hope that his friend had finally snapped out of it, "Guess so, see you later guys."
At work, Soda was cheerful with a big smile on his face when costumers showed up. Again the ladies began to get close for some flirty comments. Steve folded his arms staring from where he was at Sodapop making small talk with a girl who asked for a fill up for her car. Some giggles escaped her mouth, "All right then, next week sounds fine to me."
Next week? Soda?! A date? What the-
"I'll pick you up around seven ok? Bye darling." Wink.
Steve decided to talk about his sudden change of attitude, "Soda? What's going on with you man? You feeling all right?"
Soda smirked, "I don't know, I just feel...Great! I thought you'd be happy?"
"Course I'm happy! It's just that-well-Why so sudden?"
"Well...I kinda woke up...Like this..."
A costumer entered the DX, the talk was postponed. The whole day was good. It had been such a long time since it felt normal. Like a switch turned off had turned on. A warm feeling. Steve smiled to himself knowing Soda was coming back from his personal hell. And Steve would be at the entrance waiting for him to help him find the way back home.
Darry had arrived home before anyone else, he put his tool belt away then stretching in the living room hearing a crack on his back. The house was empty, kind of weird. He took the opportunity to take a shower, afterwards in his room he put on his pajama clothes. Taking a deep breath Darry sat on his bed rubbing his temples thinking of how calming the house was. It just creeps me out a little. A photo of his brothers caught his attention that was on the dresser next to his bed. It was one where Sodapop was holding a ball grinning at the camera, Darry holding on to Pony's little arms so he could stand up to kick the ball. Mother had taken the picture, Damn how I wish I could go to that moment and relive it. Oh my baby brother...
He remembered also the object the man had given them months ago. Neither one of the brothers dared to read it. Just as he took it Sodapop yelled, "I'm hooome!"
"Soda?"
Sodapop entered the room stopping on his tracks when he saw what was in Darry's hand. Steve showed up behind , "Hey superman."
"Soda...I think you should see what...is had inside." Darry said extending his hand with the notebook. As much as he wanted to see it first he thought Soda should. He wasn't moving on from Ponyboy's death. Darry had, with much struggle and all his might, he had moved on.
Steve knew about it, he agreed with Darry. Sodapop needed closure and this was the perfect thing for it. Steve pushed him lightly, "It's ok Soda, it will be all right. Go ahead."
I guess this is..this is a good idea. Soda grabbed it trembling a little, he looked at his friends for a couple of seconds until he went into his room. Darry told Steve to take a walk with him while his brother had some time alone for him to see what was inside that forgotten thing.
In his room, Soda took a long deep breathe, deep down he knew why he was scared of looking. Frightened, anxious, nervous. It was because what was written inside was the last thing Pony drew, written, thought of before dying. This meant that after reading this it would be the last of hearing what his little brother had to say. It really was the closing of something very tragic. He was scared that after this he would forget him.
Opening it very slowly with his heart beating fast, the first page showed big sloppy letters reading, PONYBOY MIKEL CURTIS. Soda smirked, He still couldn't spell Michael right. The next page was a drawing of two people, a woman and a man. It was obvious it was their parents. They seemed to be smiling. You really missed him huh 'lil colt? Then there was one of himself with each of the member of the gang. There was one with Twobit, apparently they were wrestling. Another with Johnny holding hands with Pony, Dally saying in a bubble, Peepskuik. Soda laughed at this knowing that was what Dally used to call him. There was Steve with a mean smile carrying Pony. Many drawings of many people he knew. tears formed in his eyes, My baby brother was really a smart kid. Even Cherry the small girl was in the pages. He grinned, He could have said whatever he wanted but he did like her. Finally, there was one with him and Darry. Ponyboy drew Darry sitting down with Ponyboy smiling. Then Sodapop holding a cake, one drawing with the three riding a long horse so they could all fit. He chuckled holding tightly the notebook as if it would fall.
At the end, one page was left. The last one. His heart ached so much he thought he'd die on the spot. It was different from the rest, the page was colored in black most of it with some small dots. A big circle in the middle. With realization he thought, Oh! It's the sky...with stars...and a moon. He searched for anything else. The back of the drawing were some words and a big star that was drawn with pencil. It read, TUINKLING STARS ARE ANGELS SMILIN. I MISS MAMA, DADY, SODA, DARY, DALI, JONI, STIV, TUBIT AND PEPSI. I HOPE DAT WHEN DEY SEE DA SKY THEY KNOW I MISS THEM. DA BIGEST STAR IS FOR DEM.
Tears started sliding down on his cheeks, he couldn't contain it. He sobbed, his internal dam broke at last. Those heartbreaking feelings rushed out. Finally, he would be able to move on. After so much time it took. Ponyboy even from beyond the grave, had consoled Sodapop. Knowing it was night time, he walked outside to the back yard where the big red maple tree was. Gazing up at the sky, even though winter was approaching, the stars still shone. His eyes tried to see each one. Know he knew why Ponyboy was so interested at star gazing. The beautiful scene that was up, how something so simple was so astounding. Soda fell on his knees still looking upwards, the coldness in his heart began to vanish. It was as if something had taken a big weight off his chest.
One star was shining more brightly than the others, Sodapop Curtis saw this and began to laugh happily, wiping his tears away with one free arm since the other was carrying the notebook he whispered:
"I miss you too Pone! I miss you too..."
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(Sorry for any grammar mistakes)
This is finally the end of this fanfic. Thank you to all readers! As Johnny said, "Stay gold."