AN: Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed! If you have the chance, please go check out the story that runs parallel to this one called 'Cutting Loose.' It branches off in another direction from the prologue of this story. I'm going to try to play the two stories off each other in subtle ways and I'd love some feedback on how I'm doing.
Thanks so much again!
I woke up in the early morning when she tried to sneak out of bed. I don't know how long I'd slept—probably not more than a few hours.
"Hey, where're you going?" I asked, my throat so dry it felt like sandpaper. I attempted to sit up, but sore muscles forced me to stay put. I groaned, loudly.
She smirked at me, pulling on jeans over her underwear. "I guess you really haven't gotten laid since before prison. Welcome to sex in your late twenties, hon," she said, her calm voice staying my impending humiliation and the cussing fit that would've resulted. I always liked that about her. She could make the most embarrassing things seem like a natural course of life with a few simple words. Granted, we'd just gotten back together, so at the moment I liked everything about her, especially the things I'd missed while doing time.
I grimaced, shifting slightly as I felt a spasm start in my lower back. "Shit, I thought I was in shape. How the hell did we survive the morning afters for so many years?"
She snickered, stooping down to pick up her shirt and socks. "Usually we had a bigger bed, for starters," she said, busying herself with pulling on her clothes while I watched.
A silence passed between us; uncomfortable for me, probably unnoticed by her. "Is this the part where you walk out the door and I don't see you for a month?" I asked.
She gave me a funny look, but her features soon cleared as she remembered who she was talking to. She rolled her eyes. "Pfft. Jesus, Bobby, do your brothers know you're so insecure?" she teased. "I just have to go home and change before work. You should go back to sleep since you'll be at the bar late tonight. I'll see you when I see you and we'll talk about working out a rehabilitation program for Jack. I've got to go to the library tonight and pick up some books, do some freshening up on the subject."
"I'll meet you at the library for a while," I said. I get like that sometimes. I'll hit a certain mood with a girl where, for a while, I get really clingy, often followed by a period where I push that same girl away.
I'm sure if a psychiatrist could go back far enough into my childhood they'd be able to explain my behavior in Freudian terms, pinpoint specific events that fucked me up. Fear of abandonment coupled with fear of dependence—they put that on my fucking medical record when I was nine years old.
Bad shit happened to me when I was a kid, now I do bad shit to other people. It's as simple as that. New girls get sucked in to my games when they first get involved with me, but Tonia knows all my tricks. She knows how to handle me. If I pulled the worst of the shit I do to Sofi on Tonia, she wouldn't even blink, nevertheless fly off the handle.
Having at last collected all her clothing, and put most of it on, Tonni sat down on the edge of my bed and leaned over to playfully bite my ear. Neither of us were big on kissing first thing in the morning, but apparently biting was okay.
"You're an attention whore, Bobby," she informed me, giggling, her small hand resting on my bare shoulder, squeezing affectionately. "You've got to have everyone focused on you every minute of the day."
"That mean we're on for the library?" I asked, my eyes shifting so I could look at her out of the corner of my eye.
She smiled, rising and moving out of reach before I had a chance to pull her back into bed next to me. "Meet me in the nonfiction section tomorrow at six. If you're there tonight, I won't get anything done. You're not just a whore, you're a distraction!" she playfully chastised, her eyes glinting.
"Oh yeah?" I called after her slowly retreating backside as she walked out my bedroom door. "If I'm a distraction, what the hell do you call your ass, girl?"
"Man, do you have any idea how wrong it was for you to sleep with Tonni like that?" Angel asked me a few minutes later at breakfast. Tonia had since left for home, and upon hearing the rest of the house stirring, I'd dressed and come down to eat with my brothers.
"Leave it alone, man," Jack said, reaching across the table for the milk to pour on his cereal. "I couldn't even hear them going at it. Whenever you've got Sofi over, you guys always keep me awake, even when I'm trying to sleep on the couch."
I glared at Jack, wondering why I needed his support on the issue. The Mercer house was not a fucking democracy. Ma made that clear the first day we walked in the door, and I'd be damned if that trend wasn't going to continue with me as the new dictator. "What I do doesn't need defending, little sister," I said, taking a big bite of my toast and peanut butter.
He stuck his ring-less tongue out at me. "I wasn't defending you, asshole, I was criticizing Angel. Does everything absolutely have to be about you, Bobby?"
"Yes," I deadpanned, giving him my best 'duh' expression.
Angel started to snicker. Jack glared at me, shaking his head. "Anyway, my point was, you guys can do whatever the hell you want, as long as I don't hear it."
"Attention whore," Angel mimicked in my general direction. Since they were both familiar with Tonia's bedroom nickname for me, both of them giggled.
"You shouldn't have done it in mom's room though, man. That's just wrong," Jack added, bending down to keep his mouth as close to his cereal bowl as possible.
"Exactly!" Angel quickly agreed, pointing to Jack. "Think about what you did in mama's bed, Bobby. Even Cracker Jack knows that's just disrespectful. When I was a little kid I used to go sleep in there with her during thunderstorms; and you can't get on my ass for admitting it, because she said you did the same thing after you saw Jaws for the first time."
Okay, so they had me there. I didn't even think of it that way, about banging a girl in Ma's room, but now it felt kind of odd, just thinking about it... "So where exactly was I supposed to fuck her, genius?" I said, not missing a beat.
"Jack's room," Angel quickly stated.
Jack pretended to cough. "Angel's room."
"Dude, if he did her in my room, where the hell was I supposed to sleep?" Angel asked, his face contorting into a 'what're you smoking' look.
Did I ever mention that out of the three of us, Angel always had the least patience for Jack? I think it's because he expected to always remain the baby of the Mercer household. Then Jack showed up one day and Ang became an instant middle child. Suddenly, Jerry and I could beat on him all we wanted without serious repercussions. Worst still, Ma let Jack get away with murder compared to the rest of us. Angel had the hardest time accepting that fact.
It's also entirely possible that they lost some of their love for each other when they shared a bedroom for a number of years before Jerry moved out; but hey, what do I know? I'm high enough on the family food chain that I don't give a damn if my baby brothers don't always like each other.
"You could sleep on the floor," Jack replied easily, like it was the most obvious answer in the world. "You fuck Sofi on the floor, so it can't be that big a stretch. Besides, I know you like to watch," he said, grinning unabashedly.
Angel punched Jack hard on his good shoulder. The kid scooped up some cereal and milk on his spoon and flung it in retaliation.
I only shook my head, wondering how I could best torment Angel with 'you like to watch' jokes. Apparently they riled him up like few things could... "Hey, ladies, save it for the mud pit, all right?"
Instead of heeding me, Angel got out of his seat and put Jack in a headlock, pulling his shirt up over his head, hockey style, and smacking him hard on the back, leaving a big red handprint on his pale skin. Jack launched himself out of his chair, wrapping Ang up around the waist and taking them both to the floor.
I got up fast, pulling Jack off our brother and dragging him clear, my arm wrapped around his waist. "I can't believe you idiots sometimes!" I snarled, helping Jackie back to his overturned chair. Stiff muscles throughout my body complained about the physical exertion. Not that I'd let them know about it.
"Ah, come on, Bobby, I just got the jump on him," the kid complained after he stopped struggling. I got him sat down again so I could look him over, secretly relieved that he didn't seem any worse for the wear. I ruffled up his hair, letting out a breath I'd been holding.
"That's not all you were about to get if big brother hadn't saved you," Angel said as he picked himself up off the floor, chuckling at Jack's sudden bout of feistiness. Apparently I was the only one who realized how far Jackie-boy could get set back if his knee got fucked up again. I didn't plan on carrying the fairy around the house for the rest of my life.
"Yeah, your big sister planned to molest you after wrestling you to the floor," I said, turning the evil eye on Angel. We'd have to talk later about not sending Jack back to the hospital. We were already up to our asses in debt.
"You're the only child molester in this house, Bobby," Angel shot back, still showing me them unnaturally white teeth of his. He picked up his coat off the back of his chair and put it on, picking his lunch up off the counter and preparing to leave for work. "So, when can Sofi move back in? Since you've got a girlfriend now, it's not like you can justify throwing my fiancé out."
"Sure I can, Jarhead. Tonia's going to rehabilitate Jackie, get him on his feet again. She's going to take care of him some evenings, give the two of us a little more freedom to breathe."
His weight settled back a little and he brought his hands up, acting like he couldn't believe it. "Whoa, so I'll get to spend nights with my girl?"
"Whatever you want. I don't give a shit so long as La Vida Loca stays the hell out of my house."
Jack looked at Angel and then at me, his eyes having widened just a bit. "What about what I want?" he asked, sounding absolutely pathetic.
We both stared back at him dully until he bowed his head to look at the floor. "Fine," he groaned, attempting to get to his feet and nearly falling. Angel stepped forward to help him, but Jack violently shoved him off, gripping the counter for support.
He still didn't have enough muscle in his arms and legs to support his own weight for long—so after a few hops he let himself sink to the floor and crawled out to the living room, using only three limbs, including his bad arm. I didn't like watching him do that, but I wasn't stupid enough to try to help the kid. Not when he was that cranky.
I turned to Angel, glaring.
"What?" he said, his face a mix between confusion and innocence. Apparently we were equally clueless on the matter. "I don't even know what his problem is, Bobby, how the fuck can it be my fault?"
I glared a little longer, knowing he was right. "I can't believe you like to watch," I finally said, returning to my seat to finish my breakfast.