Chapter Three: Why Weren't We Able?
Bella's POV
"My place is closer." Jacob gasped as he came up for air. I nodded and his lips crashed into mine again, and began lowering his hands to grab my ass. I moaned into his mouth as he gave it a tight squeeze and a loud whimper when he he came up for air again and just stayed up. He grabbed my hand and led me to the apartment complex near the frat house.
He lived on the second floor and if it weren't for the security cameras in the elevator, I would have dropped his pants in there. Once we heard the ding, his lips were on mine again and he began pushing me in the direction of his apartment. Once we reached his doors, he grabbed his keys out of his pocket and tried unlocking the door, which seemed to be difficult to do with me nibbling on his ear.
"Finally," He mumbled as he opened the door. He turned to me again and crashed his lips onto mine as he picked me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and began slowly grinding, creating the friction we both wanted so badly. I could feel him hardening underneath me and felt this odd sense of pride. I wasn't some master in the bedroom, and Carlisle was the only guy I really turned on.
He carried me to his small bedroom and threw me down on the bed as he kicked the door shut. He shed his overcoat onto the floor as I did the same and the crawled up on top of me. I pushed his flannel off his shoulders as he pulled at the hem of my shirt. I lifted my arms and arched my back so he'd be able to pull it over my head.
"Damn," He whispered as he saw me without my shirt on, and I blushed as he looked me over thoroughly. "Now I know what I've really been missing." He whispered as he moved his lips to my neck and began sucking and kissing until he was at the top of my breasts. He reached around and unclasped my bra, and pulled it over my shoulder.
He smiled when I was fully exposed and moved his lips to suck on my nipple while his other hand came and massaged my other breast. I began to feel myself getting more and more turned on as he swiped his tongue over my nipple and pinched the other with his hand. I moved my hands to his hair and began to gently pull at it, unable to sit still anymore.
"Fuck," I whispered as he switched breasts and began sucking on the other one. Once I thought I was going to explode just from that, I pulled him back up to my lips as I pulled his t-shirt over his head, throwing it on the floor. He began grinding on me and I could feel him through my jeans and his own. His hands moved down my stomach and popped open the button on my jeans and began slowly pulling them down my legs. He stepped back so he could pull them off, but didn't miss a beat and his lips were back on my body within nanoseconds.
I finally pulled myself together enough to undo his belt and snap open his jeans and used my feet to push them down his body. The only thing keeping us apart were the thin layers of fabric that were our underwear. He smiled deviously at me as he pulled my thong down and threw it onto the ground, leaving me completely exposed.
"Damn," He whispered again as I pushed his boxers down, leaving us both naked.
"Please tell me you have a condom." I begged as we ground on each other.
"Condom, yeah." He mumbled as he pushed himself on his knees and reached under the bed, finding the box of Trojan's underneath. He pulled out a single foil packet and tore it open, and covered his cock with the latex barrier. I knew I was on birth control, but I didn't know exactly where Jake had been. I wasn't risking anything. Even though Carlisle and I never used a condom, even for our first time.
Once he was covered, he positioned myself at my enterence. I winced a little when I saw how big he really was. Carlisle was in no way small, Jake was just really big in my eyes. He eased himself inside and let me adjust to him. Once the sting wore off, I gave him a nod and began slowly pumping in and out of me. I grabbed a fistful of his hair again as he began moving faster.
"Fuck," I moaned as he pounded me into the bed. I wrapped my legs around his waist, creating a better angle for both of us and I could tell he was close by the thin layer of sweat that began coating his body.
"Fuck, Bella!" He moaned as he began pumping faster and faster and brought his hand to my clit, pushing my over the edge.
"Fuck!" I yelled as I came. He didn't take much longer and he fell limp on top of my. I felt him pull out and kiss my chest as he sat up.
"Damn," He breathed as he tied the condom up, throwing it in the trash. He gave me a few tissues to clean myself up and fell back into bed again, pulling the covers over us. He pulled me into his side and kissed the back of my neck, and I couldn't help but feel a little guilty. He wasn't Carlisle.
But, Carlisle wasn't here and Jake was. I had to accept the fact that for the time being, Carlisle wasn't mine and I didn't have to feel guilty about doing things with other guys. I shut my eyes in somewhat bliss, ready to spend the night with Jake.
"If you get too cold, my robe is right on the floor on your side of the bed." He whispered as he grabbed me tighter.
"Okay," I yawned.
I woke up the next morning, feeling a mixture of bliss, confusion, and guilt. Jake had always just been there. As my friend and partner in most of our projects. I'd never looked at him as anything more. Until Carlisle and I broke up. But, even before Carlisle Jacob had always been just...Jacob. I realized the fuzzy robe that had been draped over my body and realized Jake wasn't next to me.
I grabbed my panties off the floor and tightened the robe around my waist before going out into the common area. When I opened the door, all three of Jake's roommates eyes were on me. One was smiling dumbly at me and the other two just looked almost...happy. Like they knew who I was and how much Jake liked me.
"Morning," the bigger of the two greeted. "Jakes in the bathroom."
"Thanks," I smiled, wishing Jake would just finish up.
"You want some coffee?" The youngest ask as he sprang up over to the cupboards.
"Oh, sure." I smiled. He pulled out an oversized mugs and poured me a cup. "Thanks."
"You're welcome." He said. "You can sit. We don't bite...well Paul might but you just just slap him. That's what most girls do."
"Oh, okay." I sighed as I pulled out a chair and sat down with my coffee.
"I'm Seth." The youngest introduced. "I'm only a sophomore, but my parents didn't get me a dorm fast enough."
"No, he didn't send in the application, but somehow his parents took the fall for it." The other one laughed. "I'm Embry."
"Do you guys all know each other?" I asked because they all had the same dark skin tone with shiny black hair.
"We grew up on the same reservation." Embry explained. "That's why we let a fucking sophomore live with us. He makes five."
"It's only a four person apartment?"
"Exactly, which is why we have a pull out couch and a dresser in the common area." Jake laughed as he came out of the bathroom, wearing only boxers and a NYU hoodie.
"Oh," I laughed.
"Do you want anything to ear?" Paul asked as he stood up. "It's my turn to go to the bakery down the street."
"Oh, any kind of muffin works." I blushed. It was weird being around a guy and his friends who were actually my own age.
"Okay," He sighed, grabbing his coat and keys and leaving. Jake sat down next to me and Seth and Embry took this as their hint to leave. We watched as they went into a bedroom and Jake turned and gave me a peck on the lips.
"How'd you sleep?" He asked as he grabbed my hands. He was already starting to get affectionate and I wasn't sure I was ready yet. More than friends, maybe. Something more? Not so much.
"Pretty good." I smiled, squeezing his hand. "Jake,"
"I know, you aren't ready yet." He laughed. "I get it. You just ended things with him."
"I don't want you to think,"
"That you were using me?" He finished. "I don't. I understand. Sometimes you need a good fuck to help start getting over someone. We can take things slow, if there is anything to take slow."
"I'm sorry." I whispered.
"Hey, I understand." He said, gripping my chin and making me look up. "Don't feel guilty."
"OKay," I smiled as he leaned in and gave me another kiss. "I should be going."
"At least stay for your muffin or Paul's going to have a hissy fit."
"Deal," I laughed. Paul came back shortly after with another tanned skinned college guy who Jake introduced me to be Quil. We sat around the table and just talked and there wasn't any awkwardness. After I ate, I changed into a t-shirt Jake game me and slid back into my heels, cursing my choice to wear them in the first place.
I made my way back to my apartment and almost felt sick when I saw Jasper's truck in the lot. I didn't think they were going to be home yet. But, I was hopeful they were still sleeping and made my way upstairs. I unlocked the door and shut it softly and turned to see the two of them sitting on the couch.
"Hello," Alice called, sounding chipper and cheery.
"Damn," I mumbled. "Hi," I grumbled, the hangover was starting to kick in.
"Advil or Tylenol?" She asked, standing up and going to the bathroom.
"Advil." I called, sitting in the chair adjacent to Jasper who only raised his eyebrows at me.
"I thought you were going to be gone until this afternoon." I sighed as Alice came back and gave me a glass of water along with the tablets.
"We decided to come back early." She said, sitting back down. "where have you been?"
"No where."
"What boy?" Jasper asked, and I only glared at him. "What? You're wearing heals, nice jeans, and it looks like and over sized t-shirt under your coat. You were with a boy last night."
"Thanks, detective." I snapped. I didn't want to deal with this yet. "I was with Jake."
"Wait, Jake?" Alice asked and I could only nod. "So you were with Jake?"
"Yes." I sighed. "I was with him."
"Well that didn't take long."
"I'm not over him, Alice." I assured her. "We went to a frat party and got drunk and I...I just wanted to forget about the breakup for one night."
"You don't have to defend yourself, Bella." Jasper told me. "You just needed your night."
"Yes, and nothing is going to happen between Jacob and I because Carlisle and I are getting back together."
"You hope." Alice mumbled.
"What?"
"You hope you and Carlisle are getting back together." She sighed. "There is no guarantee."
"Carlisle loves me, Alice." I huffed. "He's coming back. Your the one who said we had an epic love."
"You do, but things can change, Bella."
"Why are you acting like this?"
"Because I don't want you to get hurt again!" She spat. "I've already seen you broken hearted over this guy twice. I don't want that for you again."
"Well thank you for being concerned, but he's coming back, Alice." I sighed as I stood up. "He has to."
"Bella,"
"You're either supportive or not, Alice!" I told her. "You don't get to encourage me to start something and then tell me it won't end up working out. You can't have it both ways." I told her before retreating to my room for the rest of the day to get my schoolwork done and try to nurse the hangover. Only Jasper came in to tell me Alice was spending the night with him.
The next day was pure hell. I was getting dirty looks from all the girls, and smug looks from all the guys. I soon realized I was the slut who slept with the professor for a grade. I tried holding my head high, but it was difficult when all eyes were on me when I was in class and the library and at lunch.
"Thanks a lot!" Jessica, a girl who I had Carlisle's class with sophomore year, spat as I got coffee. "The only reason I switched majors was because of Dr. Cullen! And you couldn't keep it to yourself and now he's gone!"
"This isn't my fault, Jessica." I sighed.
"Oh yeah, then who's face is this?" She asked, slamming one of the pictures down. My stomach turned to knots when I saw the pictures of Carlisle and I holding hands under a desk at the library. Not one of our best ideas. "Thanks a lot."
"Jessica..."
"Fucking whore." She mumbled as she walked away. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping the tears wouldn't come. But, I was powerless against my emotions and I ended up bawling in the middle of the coffee place. I grabbed my things and bolted out of there, only to run into someone in my hurry.
"Whoa." Jake's comforting voice laughed as he bent down to help me pick my things up. "Hey, you okay?"
"Fine," I lied, wiping my face. But, he knew me better and dragged me over to a bench and let me use his shoulder as my personal tissue.
"You're a bad liar." He whispered as he kissed the top of my head. "What happened?"
"Nothing, I just keep getting dirty looks from people." I told him. "And a girl just called me a whore, but I'm fine. Really."
"Who called you a whore?" He demanded to know, his face growing red.
"It's no big deal." I sniffled, checking my watch. "I have a class."
"Bella,"
"I have to go, Jake." I huffed, stuffing the rest of my things in my bag. "I'll see you later."
"Okay," He sighed as I ran off towards my Stats class. Like the rest of my classes, everyone kept giving me dirty looks and it didn't help that Jessica's best friend, Lauren, was in that class with me. I had never been so happy to be let go from a class and I was the first one out of the class, and bolted towards the bathroom. I didn't wanna deal with another big crowd.
After a few minutes of hiding, I felt it was clear of many people and made my way out and towards the staircase. But as I was nearing it, my Stats professor came out of the classroom.
"Ah, Miss Swan." He smiled at me. "What are you still doing here?"
"I had to use the restroom." I told him as I tried to push past him, but he wouldn't let me. He stepped in front of me and began gazing into my eyes, giving me the creeps. "I have to go now,"
"Hold on, Miss Swan." He said, grabbing my wrist, ensuring I wouldn't be going anywhere. "May I have a word with you?"
"Professor Michaelson,"
"It'll only be a moment." He said, dragging me into his class room. Once the door was shut, he slammed me against the door and pushed the hair out my face. I could see in his eyes he didn't just want to talk and by the way he was stroking my side, I knew I had to get out of their.
"Professor," I sighed as I tried pushing him away. But, he was stronger than I was and was on a mission. I wasn't going anywhere.
"Shhhhh," He whispered. "This will only be a moment." He said as he grabbed my breasts with his filthy hands.
"No!" I yelled before his hand came up and covered my mouth.
"This can painless, or painful." He whispered darkly. "You choose." He whispered as his lips went to my neck. I struggled against him and when I was sure there was nothing left I could try, I lifted my knees and kicked him right in his balls. He fell to the ground in pain and I was able to grab my bag and make a run for it out of the building.
As I was pushing the big glass doors out of the building open, someone was coming up the steps.
"Bella?" Emmett's voice asked as he caught me in his arms, not letting me go anywhere. "Bella, what's wrong?"
"I'm the school whore!" I choked out in between sobs. He took me over to sit on the nearby wall and gave me a tissue, even though it didn't help much. "Guys keep lifting up my shirt and asking if I only do older guys. Girls are calling me a whore and my professor just tried to get into my pants."
"Who?"
"It doesn't matter!" I told him. "I'm the whore and I don't even have Carlisle anymore." I cried as his phone rang.
"Hello." He answered as I sobbed. "Yeah... I'm with her right now... You gotta talk to her... Okay..." He sighed, handing me the phone. "For you."
"Me?" I asked.
"Just, trust me." He sighed as I took the phone and put it to my ear.
"Bella," His voice whispered, making my heart lurch for him. "You gotta look past it. Be strong."
"Carlisle,"
"Fight back if anyone tries to touch you." He cried. "You...gotta hold your head up high and don't let them get to you. It's only words."
"Carlisle a professor just tried to..."
"I have to go." He cried. "We can't talk, Bella."
"But, Carlisle..."
"I love you." He cried. "Bye." He said and hung up.
"No, Carlisle!" I shouted, but it was too late. He was gone and he didn't even know what just happened. "He hung up before I could tell him..."
"He wasn't supposed to talk to you at all..."
"I was raped in high school!" I cried, catching him off guard. "Carlisle was the only person here who knew and he didn't even give me a chance to tell him what almost happened."
"I'll make sure he knows." Emmett offered. "I'd rather not be...but I could be the middle man."
"No, I don't want to get you into trouble."
"I can't stand to see him hurting like this." He shrugged. "It's fine."
After I gathered myself up enough, I was able to go home. Alice apologized and cried with me as I told her what happened. She stayed with me until I fell asleep and made sure I got to class the nest day and the day after that. I skipped my Stats class Wednesday and hid out in the library for the time I wasn't in class. But, Alice was with Jasper and I had to make my way across campus alone.
I was nearly home when I saw a dark figure standing in front of me. Just wanting to get home, I quickened my pace, hoping to just got by the person. But, I wasn't quick enough and the man grabbed my and covered my mouth from behind so I wouldn't scream.
"We're going to pick up from where we left off." Professor Michaelson whispered darkly in my ear as he pushed me along. He was pushing me towards the woods, the long way to the Math Department. No one would hear me even if I tried screaming for help.