Chapter Seven: Running for Cover

Bella's POV

"What are you doing, beautiful?" Jacob asked as he sat down on the couch next to me a week after getting back from Forks. For the first time in two years, I was glad to get back home for Christmas break, even though I missed Jake.

Jake and I had grown into something much more than I expected. I decided to take a chance and I jumped into a relationship with him after coming back after Thanksgiving break. It wasn't as passionate as mine and Carlisle's relationship was, but it was comfortable. Something I was getting used to. He knew how to make me laugh, and knew when I just needed his shoulder.

He was good to me, and that's what I needed now.

I finally decided to come clean about what happened to my parents over break. My mother was in tears for three days and my father stayed silent until I was getting packed to go back. He nearly pulled me out of NYU and enrolled me to Washington University. But, with much arguing and rationalizing, he let me come back to New York. Professor Michaelson was in jail, pending trial and I felt safe with Jake around.

Things were slowly getting back to normal.

Even though I had Jake, someone who loved me and protected me, Alice was against it completely. She kept accusing me of using him to get over Carlisle. She may have been right, but I did care about Jake a lot. I never realized how good of a guy he was until I saw him in that hospital room in November.

"Tattoos." I smiled as I scrolled down, looking intently.

"Tattoos?" He asked, wrapping his arm around me. "Of what?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. "Inspirational things."

"And why do you all of a suddenly want a tattoo?"

"It isn't all of a sudden." I huffed. "I've wanted one for a while, but never really had a good reason for getting one."

"And what's your really good reason?" He laughed, pushing the hair out of my face.

"Being alive...and living my life." I sighed, turning to him. "I've already been raped twice and I'm not even twenty two yet. I think the fact that I haven't fallen into a hole to die and decided to continue living my life is...a miracle."

"You're right." He agreed.

"So, I want something small and tasteful...that says I'm not a quitter. Something to remind me to keep living, even when I want to just stop." I told him, turning the screen towards him. "And, I really like this."

It was a small tattoo with an anchor that created an infinity sign. The small script below the picture read 'I refuse to sink' Something I thought described me completely.

"It's perfect." He whispered, kissing my cheek. "Where are you thinking of getting it?"

"On my right hip." I said, pointing to my frontal right hip bone. "I really only want me to be able to see it unless I'm in a bathing suit or something."

"Hmmm," He sighed, rubbing the spot I'd showed him. "Sexy."

"Does it hurt?" I asked him. He had and the rest of his roommates had a wolf tattoo on there right bicep, something they'd all gotten when they were of legal age. He said most of the kids on the reservation had one and explained it brought them together even if they rarely stayed on the reservation for their entire lives anymore.

"Yeah, but it wasn't too bad." He shrugged. "But, I have a lot of muscel where I have the tattoo, your hip doesn't so it'll probably hurt more than mine did."

"Plus, you're so tough, huh?"

"Well, I thought that was obvious." He laughed, leaning in and brushing his lips against mine. I pulled away and shut my computer, putting it on the coffee table in front of us. I turned back to him and crashed my lips into his as he pulled me into his lap. He began to gently thrust up, turning me on yet again. But, before anything more could happen, the door crashed open.

"You can't even keep it in your room?" I heard Paul laughed as he shut the door. "Hey, Bella."

"Hi, Paul." I sighed. I loved all his roommates, but Paul could be such an ass most of the time.

"Don't mind us, I just forgot my book." He laughed as he and his new girlfriend, Rachel, walked off into his room. I slid off of his lap and pulled him into his bedroom and shut the door behind us. He sat down on his bed and gently pulled me into his lap.

"Will you come with me?" I asked as I played with his short hair. "When I get my tattoo."

"Probably not." He laughed. "Of course I'll come with you, Bella. What kind of a boyfriend would I be if I wasn't there to hold your hand."

"A bad one." I sighed as I pushed him down onto the bed. I swung my leg over so I was stradling him. He gripped my hips as I began gently moving back and forth, earning a soft moan. "Now, where were we before the big bad Paul walked in.

"Right about, here." He smirked as he pulled me down closer to him, attacking my lips with his.

I scheduled my tattoo appointment for Saturday afternoon and even Alice reluctantly agreed to go with me. She met us there and it took both of them to get me onto table for the tattoo.

Once the needle his my skin, I was in tears. I was squeezing Jake's hand so hard I was sure I'd broken it. But, it was a small tattoo and it didn't take long to complete. Once the initial pain wore off, I stood up and walked over to the floor length mirror they had and took my first look at it. It was perfect and said everything about me.

"It looks awesome, Bella." Alice gushed as she took a close look at it. "Really good choice."

"She's right," Jake chuckled as he came up behind me and kissed my neck. "I love it."

"Me too." I sighed as I walked back over to the artist so he could put the bandage over top of it. Once Jake had paid for it...something I told him he didn't have to do but insisted...we headed back outside. "You guys wanna get lunch?"

"I should be getting back to Jasper." Alice sighed. She didn't want to spend anytime with Jake and I because she didn't like what I was doing with him. Sure I didn't have the intense love I had with Carlisle, but I did care for him. But, she was right about one thing. He was mine until Carlisle came back to me. Once Carlisle was in my life again, I had to break up with Jake. It was inevitable.

"Please, Alice?" I begged. She agreed to go with a giant sigh and hopped into her car and followed us to a nearby Subway. Lunch was very enjoyable and the two of them were able to get along for the hour we were there. Jake dropped Alice off at our apartment and took me back to his so we could work on homework together.

"How's it feeling?" He asked as he switched over to his Calculus homework while I continued writing my essay for our Lit class Monday morning.

"It's a little sore, nothing bad though." I sighed. We had an hour more of peace before Seth and Quill came bursting through the door.

"Hey, Bella!" Seth nearly shouted as he put the basketball on the floor near the door. "How's the tattoo?"

"It's a little sore, but it's good." I smiled. "Thanks, Seth."

"How much did it hurt?" Quill asked as he passed a bottle of water to Seth.

"Not too bad." I lied and almost got away with it until Jacob starred be down. "Okay, I thought I was going to pass out."

"Don't worry, Jake was in tears by the time they were finishing up with his." Quill laughed, earning himself a book thrown at his head.

"You said yours didn't hurt that much?" I asked, turning to him.

"I was not almost in tears. It stung, but I was a big boy." He spat, starring Quill down.

"Anyway, can we see it?" Seth asked.

"I can't take the bandage off until dinner time." I sighed. "But you can then."

"Cool!" He shouted before running into the bathroom to get a shower.

Jake and I finished our homework a little while later and ordered pizza with the guys. Paul and Rachel excused themselves halfway through to fuck in his bedroom, and we all tried very hard to not listen. Which turned out to be impossible since Rachel was a screamer.

"Seth, you think you're ever going to get around to that?" Embry laughed as they tortured the little nineteen year old. "I mean, how old are you?"

"Shut up, Embry!" He yelled. "Just because you lost it at fifteen doesn't mean we all have to!"

"It was not fifteen." Embry defended. "It was fifteen and a half. And Anna was fucking hot as hell."

"That she was." Quill agreed, raising his Sprite can. Rachel and Paul finished up and came up to finish eating, even though they made no attempt to look like they hadn't done anything. I guess the figured we already knew so what was the point. after dinner, Seth excused himself to go God knows where and Quill and Embry hit a frat party.

"You staying tonight?"

"If I stay tonight I gotta go home tomorrow." I told him. "Alice really misses me."

"I'd rather you stay tonight so we can have a little fun together." He laughed as he pulled two beers out of the fridge. Beer had really grown on me since that frat party in October. I had Jacob to thank for that. He handed me the bottle after getting the cap off and we sat down on the couch together. We just stayed up and watched bad movies and drank together until one in the morning.

"Hey, you ready for bed?" Jake asked as he nudged me awake.

"No," I smiled. "I'm ready for something better in your bedroom."

"That...can be arranged." He smiled as he stood up, pulling me with him. He led me to his room and right as we shut the door, we heard the front door open and suspected Seth to be home since the other two were probably getting laid somewhere else. He gently pushed me onto the bed and tried crawling on top of me. I, on the other hand, had something else in mind and flipped us over to I was on top.

"This is new." He smirked as he gripped my hips. I reached for the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head, revealing my new tattoo perfectly to him. He smiled at it as he touched the skin around it and I pulled his own shirt over his head. We quickly took each others clothes off and right as I was positioning himself on top of me, we heard loud moans coming from the living room.

"What was that?" I asked as I looked at Jake.

"I don't know or care." He huffed as he thrusted up, entering me. I yelled in pleasure and braced my hands on his chest, giving me some leverage to ride him. It didn't take either of us very long to climax and I fell limp on top of him, covered in sweat. He pulled out and gently moved me to lay next to him and brought his arm around me. Again I heard loud moans coming from the living room.

"There it is again!" I laughed as I got out of bed and pulled Jake's shirts over my head. I tiptoed towards the door and pressed my ear to it, hearing the same thing I did a few seconds ago. I gently opened the door and peeked outside, and saw something I never thought I'd see. Seth was in between a girls legs, both of them naked and sweaty.

"Oh my god!" I breathed, motioning for Jake to come to me.

"What?" He whispered as I stepped out of his way so he could have a look. "That was something I never wanted to see!"

"I think Seth has been having sex for quite sometime now." I mused. "He doesn't look like it's his first time."

"What do you mean?"

"Confused and jerky." I laughed. "Nope, he's definately been doing her for a while."

"My little Seth, all grown up. "Jake laughed as we got under the covers.

Another month had passed and it was already the middle of February. Time really was flying and since it was almost Valentines Day, I felt sick to my stomach. Jake had this whole big thing planned and I never even liked the holiday. Carlisle and I weren't together for our first and we hung around his place and watched dumb movies all night.

Jake on the other hand wanted to get dressed up in red and take me to a nice romantic dinner and give me a present. Something I wasn't looking forward to. If you loved a person, you should show them everyday, not just on a specific date. I personally think it was made up by sales people to get money in between Christmas and Easter.

But, it was what was going to make him happy and I was putting on my happy face. Alice helped me pick out a dress and shoes and helped me pull my hair up into a tight ponytail. She'd picked a red dress with white polka dots and gave me a pair of her red pumps. Jake was knocking on the door right at six, just like he said he was.

"Hey, you." He smiled, leaning in and brushing his lips against mine. He had dressed in white and gray dress pants, and saved the red for the tie he was wearing.

"So do you." I smiled, grabbing my coat and keys. "You ready?"

"Yes I am." He smiled as he took my hand and led me down the hall.

He hadn't gone overboard with the restaurant he'd chosen. It was nice, but it wasn't overdone and there wasn't paper hearts and roses everywhere. It was simple and taistful. I guessed he'd gotten my hints about not liking the 'holiday' very much.

"I have something for you." He smiled, taking something out of his coat pocket. He slid the black velvet box across the table until it was in front of me. Jewelry. How thoughtful. I gently opened the box and was taken back when I saw what was inside. It wasn't some cliche tennis bracelet or necklace. He'd gotten me a silver anchor charm and attached it to a necklace.

"Jacob," I gasped as I took it out of the box.

"I had that planned before you got your tattoo actually." He blushed. "I don't want you thinking I did it and had no original ideas."

"I didn't." I told him as he stood up and too the necklace from me. I removed the one I'd been wearing and let him clasp it around my neck. "It's perfect."

"Well, I'm really glad you like it."

"This is for you." I told him, handing him the card I'd gotten me. He carefully ripped open the envelope and slid the card out. He laughed at the front and just starred at what was inside.

"You can't be serious." He gasped after reading the sheet of paper over and over again. "Simon & Schuster wants to publish that story?" He asked, sounding completely surprised. He'd been working on writing a story since he was a senior in high school. I'd been reading it since our freshman year when he really got into the swing of it and it was perfect. We all told him this could be published, but he never believed me.

"I'm dead serious." I smiled. "I sent them it three weeks ago."

"It's just a short story."

"Not all books need to be five hundred pages long." I shrugged. "They liked your idea and how original it was."

"I can't believe you did this for me."

"You deserve it, Jake." I smiled, grabbing his hand. "You're a talented writer and I'm so proud of you."

Jake and I finished our dinner and went back to his place and spent the rest of the night wrapped in each other's arms. It had turned out to be a pretty good Valentines Day after all.

Soon, February turned into MArch and then it was April. I had a month left of college and then I was on my own. I hadn't accepted a job yet, scared that if I did, Carlisle would come back to me. I had to make sure he wasn't in my future before I could create my own. Jake had accepted a job at a small publishing company in New York and hoped to one day, become a famous author.

Jasper had proposed to Alice at the beginning of April and she said yes immediately, and called minutes after to ask me to be her maid of honor. I couldn't have been happier for her, but I was also jealous. There was no proposal coming from Jake anytime soon since we'd only been seeing each other for a few months and who knew what Carlisle had in mind.

I wanted to call people and tell them I was getting married. But, that sadly wasn't going to happen for a while.

But, Jacob and I were enjoying our time together. We complemented each other nicely and everything was working out.

"Bella?" He whispered as he held me one night after we'd both exhausted ourselves rolling around on his bed.

"Yeah?"

"I love you." He sighed for the first time. I stopped breathing for a second, not knowing what to say. I cared a lot about him, but I wasn't sure if I loved him yet. "Don't say something you don't mean just to make me happy. I want you to say it because you feel it, not like you feel like you have to."

"I'm getting there, Jacob." I told him honestly. If Carlisle didn't come back, I could see myself being with him for a long time. "I am, I promise."

"I know you are." He said, kissing the top of my head. After I was able to feel my legs again, I got up and pulled on his shirt to get a bottle of water. I smiled at the picture they had taped to their fridge. A picture of the five of them, flexing their tattoo's at the camera. They were so funny together my stomach almost always starting hurting from laughing so hard.

"So weird." I mumbled as I turned around. As I was walking back to his room, I bumped a stack of papers onto the ground. I bent down to pick them up, but stopped to take a closer look at them as I put them down. As I looked at the page on top, I realized it was an email Jake had sent to an 'M. Morris'

"What the?" I asked myself as I read the email over and then, felt sick to my stomach.