'Gray Matter'

"A job interview?" Charlie could barely believe her ears the next morning. She hadn't seen Jesse try this hard to fit in to the normal lifestyle since graduating year, where he had unsuccessfully tried to pass one of his math tests. She vividly remembered the day when they received their results because of the expression on Jesse's face when he was handed the paper. The poor thing had been broken up about it for days, wallowing in his self-loathing and coming close to doing some serious harm to Mr. Murphy, their twelfth grade math teacher. Charlie shook her head and tried not to get caught up in the past, dressing in her usual work attire and tying her shoes while applying makeup haphazardly. She tried to catch onto bits and pieces of what her boyfriend had been trying to explain to her for the past five minutes.

"I dunno," He exited the bathroom where she assumed he had been fixing his hair. "I'll give it a shot."

"Well," She got up off the mattress and grabbed a sweater on the way downstairs, tossing her essential items in the pockets. "Bring the paper with you and check who else is hiring – you never know."

"I will." He saw her off safely to the bus, making sure that she brought a bottle of water and at the very least a granola bar to work. Even if it was only a little, some nutrition was better than nothing.

|:|

"You'll never guess who I ran into today," Jesse squinted up at Charlie several hours later, sun beating down into his eyes. "Get in."

She obeyed; curling up in the passenger seat and playing with the yellow tie he had long since ripped off his neck. She listened while Jesse explained to her just how fast he'd bounced out of Arroyo Realty, only to find Badger working the job he hadn't known he had almost applied for – a human billboard. The two had shared a joint, and Jesse had told his friend that he had been thinking of quitting the meth business. Badger – knowing Jesse's potential considering what he had tasted from his last batch – had offered to cook with him. From the way he explained it, Charlie sensed that he had faced some inner conflict when Badger had offered to partner up. The way she saw it, Jesse could have chosen the right path or the easy path – he could have continued to search for a job and mold himself into a somewhat adequate person in society, or he could continue to cook crystal methamphetamine and lay low. Charlie found herself almost relieved at the fact that he had chosen to continue his career as a criminal – although she felt cruel admitting it, she knew that Jesse's best bet at leaving a mark on the world was through what he knew to do best, which was the drug trade.

"So he's comin' over here later," Jesse stopped at an intersection and raised a brow, watching as Charlie nodded in understanding. His tie was still tangled in her fingers. "How was work?"

"It was okay," She sighed melodically, tilting her head to the side as she tried to focus on what she had learnt that day. "My boss was there today – Gus, right? And he taught me how to fry stuff with the big metal cages and the oil that sizzles when you put stuff in it."

Charlie imitated the sound of fries and chicken covered in batter being dunked into the vats of oil, and Jesse found himself laughing at her impression. He couldn't exactly help it; he found her stories and enthusiasm positively adorable, and was always interested in hearing about her stories from work. On some days he would get horror stories about babies wailing and 'fire in the hole' pranks that her fellow employees had to deal with, and on other days she was very quiet, refusing to say a word. It was on days like those where Jesse knew someone had either made a comment about her weight, her scars, or her tattoos.

Jesse absent-mindedly pulled the Monte Carlo into their driveway, accepting his tie back from Charlie and unlocking the door. While she traveled to the kitchen to make yet another snack that she wouldn't eat, he changed from the only set of decent working class clothing he had to his usual baggy attire. When he clomped back down the stairs he found her slicing apples into eighths and dipping them into peanut butter before sprinkling them with granola.

"What are these?" He stared at the array of sliced fruit before him, wrapping his hands around Charlie's waist and leaning his chin on her shoulder.

"Half moons," She murmured. "They're for you and Badger if you get hungry."

Jesse tilted his head to the left, watching her facial expression with curiosity. "You are the single most thoughtful person I know, Macey."

"Thank you." She responded softly. The comment made a smile spread across her face, and he grew happy as he realized that in that moment he had brought her some joy and confidence. It was a very filling feeling to provide that sort of comfort for someone, especially after they had suffered through a hell of a lot of self-confidence destructing events.

"I love you," He muttered into her ear, kissing her again and again on her cheek until she finally turned her head and caught his lips.

"I love you too." She smiled, picking up the container with the apples inside and placing it in the fridge. Even after all these years, the connection she had with this boy was stronger than ever.

It would be another hour before Badger showed up, and when he did he brought a mighty appetite along with him. Before he and Jesse left for the afternoon – both warning that they wouldn't be home until late – Charlie handed him the half moons. The look of happiness on Badger's face was priceless, and he turned to Jesse with a look of euphoria.

"Dude – you gotta marry this one." Badger laughed and gulfed down three of the delicious apple bites.

"That's the plan," Jesse grinned, igniting a spark in Charlie's eyes as they shared a brief farewell. "I'll see you in a day or two."

|:|

"You are a genius, bro!" Badger complimented as Jesse lifted one of the crystals from the fresh batch the next morning. "This cankenstein is unreal! When we get back, I'm gonna burn that dollar bill suit - 'cause we're gonna make some mad dough!"

"It's not right," Jesse set down the crystal and hung his head. The glass looked significantly different than when he had cooked it with Mr. White.

"What do you mean it's not right?" Badger stopped prancing, confused by his partner's antics and reaching to examine the shards himself.

"It's cloudy," Jesse clarified, smacking his friend's hand away in annoyance. "It's not supposed to be cloudy. That last time, it was glass."

"So what?" Badger scoffed. "Cloudy, not cloudy – it looks good enough to me."

"'Good enough'." Jesse quoted sarcastically, grabbing the entire batch and carting it outside where he promptly discarded of it on the grass.

"Yo!" Badger tried to stop him, now alarmed and panicking as he fell to his knees to try and collect the shards. "What are you doing? Are you out of your mind?! I totally would have smoked that!"

"It's not for you," Jesse shook his head, trudging back into the vehicle to start the next batch. "It's for our customers. They're gonna demand a certain standard. We'll just do it again until we get it right."

"W-what are you – what? Dude," Badger whined, duck footing back into the RV after failing to find the other half of the discarded batch in the grass. "Why can't you bring Charlie out here one day or somethin'? I want more half moons."

Jesse jerked back from the lab station at the mention of his girlfriend, cursing wildly and leaving Badger in charge for several minutes as he went to search for his cell phone. It was the second day that he was gone; meaning that if he didn't come home by the third night Charlie was going to assume the worst. Cooking was sort of like going camping; you started to suspect that something was up if the troopers didn't return after several days. He wanted to be responsible and let her know that the cook would take longer, because what sort of meth dealer didn't leave their significant other wondering whether or not they had been shot out in the desert during a cook?

Not Jesse.

He speed dialed her number, praying that she had received the afternoon shift today and was still available. Thankfully, the stars seemed to align for him and her tone greeted him within seconds.

"Jesse?"

"Baby," He closed his eyes, recognizing the feeling of relief that flooded through him every time he heard her voice. Even for a day it was hard to be away from her. He had only taken her on a couple of cooks before, but he generally hated putting her in that sort of danger, so he steered her clear. The simple fact that she knew what he was up to was already risky enough; if the D.E.A caught her and resorting to their cruel tactics he wasn't sure what they would get out of her. It wasn't a matter of trust, faith or loyalty – it was the simple fact that knowledge was power, and the D.E.A were brutal when they were interrogating.

"Listen," He continued, wanting to fill her in as fast as possible before his phone lost connection again. "I might be gone for another night, okay? I dunno how long this is gonna take."

There was ruffling on the other end, and then Charlie's soft muffled tone. "M'kay."

"Baby I'm sorry," He began to apologize profusely, knowing that this must have been one of her worse days. He hated leaving her on her weak days, but making product was the only way that he was really going to help her. The bills wouldn't pay themselves, and as much as Charlie liked to think she was raking in the dough as a waitress, she only supplied enough money for her heroin usage.

"It's okay," She soothed, knowing fully well that he was going to feel bad about leaving her all on her lonesome. "I'm fine – everything's fine here."

"Alright," Jesse rubbed his forehead in concern, digging a small trench with his foot. "If this ends up takin' any longer I'll call Skinny Pete up and have him come over there."

He briefly caught the sound of her sniffling on the other end. "Okay – I love you."

"Love you too."

He snapped the phone shut and ventured back into the RV, where Badger had busied himself reading the backs of all the powders organized in a row. The two got to work, moving quicker than they had with the last batch thanks to the newfound seriousness that had come along with tossing an entire batch of methamphetamine onto the New Mexico desert. Within hours, the next batch was finished, and at exactly four thirty seven PM Jesse lifted another crystal to eyeball it's purity. Badger stood behind him, nervously wringing his hands around his neck and rubbing the bags underneath his eyes.

"We can do better," Jesse eventually sighed, grabbing the dish by its handles and heading towards the door.

"Don't you fucking think about it!" Badger stopped him, growing furious at the prospect of losing another several grams of meth. "Three entire pounds of pseudo wasted! You know how long I had to spin that stupid sign?"

In a momentary fit of rage, the two struggled over the substance before it was flung behind them, and they abandoned picking up the pieces for throwing punches instead. Glassware fell left and right as Badger managed to helicopter Jesse around the inside of the RV, but lost his hold and was promptly shoved out of the vehicle once he hit the floor.

"Asshole," Jesse growled as he swung the RV door closed and began to start the vehicle with every intention of leaving Badger stranded in the desert. But when he looked back up at his friend outside, he was alarmed to find that Brandon was equipped with a large crossbow – one that he had brought along for 'hunting' purposes.

"Come back here, you bitch!" Jesse could hear Badger scream as he finally started the vehicle and roared onto the main dirt road. He could also hear the 'ping' noises of the crossbow shots echo on the sides of his RV. "I'm gonna mess you up!"

Jesse simply shifted gears and floored the engine until the RV was a safe distance from Badger, and he had reached the main highway. He pulled over for several minutes to secure the glassware in their boxes and collect the shards of meth that had fallen on the floor, also taking the time to call Badger a cab and leave Charlie a message that he was coming home soon. He couldn't have been happier to head back from such a god-awful cook session; even if he had some fairly good quality methamphetamine, it was still disappointing in comparison to the stuff that he and Mr. White had cooked. It was truly a pity that the older man wanted nothing more to do with him; apparently his first experience with peddling meth had been life threatening enough and he wanted nothing else to do with Jesse. So at this point, with no straws left and a meth lab packed into the back of his RV, Jesse was more than happy to head home into the arms of his very loving girlfriend.

|:|

"Charlie?" Jesse called out to what seemed to be an empty house. It wasn't usually like this when he got home – not unless she had taken anything while he was gone. He called her name out again, beginning to search each room for his tiny partner. Finding her was easy; she was passed out on the couch engulfed by blankets, Po tucked safely to her chest and an episode of 'F.R.I.E.N.D.S' playing softly on the television. He briefly wondered what she had resorted to her in spare time but didn't have to look very far, as the evidence sat right on the coffee table in front of him in the form of needles. Jesse knelt beside her sleeping form, making sure that she was safely on her side in case she vomited and placing a glass of water on the table. It was unlike Charlie to use heavier drugs when he wasn't home, but he supposed she had every right to after he had worried her like that.

Sighing, he decided to leave her be and went to pack up the lab, stacking all the glassware in his garage and covering it with a tarp to make sure that none of the suspicious looking beakers stuck out at any odd angles. Just as he was going to grab the last box, a familiar face opened the gate to his property.

"Yo!" Jesse spread his arms threateningly towards a very dazed looking Mr. White.

The two stared at each other silence for awhile, before Walter broke it with the last thing Jesse had been expecting to hear from him.

"Wanna cook?"