Chapter Nine: If Anyone Asks

Bella's POV

"What the?" I asked myself as I began to read to email Jake had written to a M Morris.

March 19 20, 2011

You were right all along. I saw Dr. Cullen in front of her building today, and saw Alice let him inside. They didn't come out for a very long time and when they did, they crawled down the fire escape and walked towards her car. What do you need me to do?

-Jacob Black

My breathing began to quicken as my heart broke. Jake had been talking to Professor Morris since Carlisle and I got back together? He couldn't have been involved with her though...at least I hoped.

March 20, 2011

Help me break them up. I see the way you look at her, Jacob. You love her and she doesn't deserve Carlisle. Help me, Jake and everything you want will fall into place

-Maddie Morris

"No," I whispered as I read another email. It was another email plotting against us and I decided to flip to more recent emails between them

September 5, 2013

One of my friends has the Photoshop on his computer and has agreed to help me edit the pictures. I've found good, believable pictures of both of them and decent photos to put their faces on. Also, a janitor helped me get the security footage and you were right. Whatever they started they started on school grounds. Why else would she be there all the time when class was out?

-Jake

"Oh my...god." I whispered as I flipped through more pictures and saw the edited pictures early on. I saw a picture from A Walk to Remember with my face on Mandy Moore's and Carlisle on Shane West's. My sadness turned to anger as I walked back to his bedroom and slammed the door behind me, causing hims to stir.

"Bella?" He asked as he wiped his eyes.

"Oh I'm sorry, did I wake you?" I asked, my voice rising. He sat up and shielded his eyes from the light I'd just turned on. I held up the papers so he could see what I had, but his eyes were still adjusting and he still couldn't see them. "Why do you have these, Jacob?"

"Have what?" He asked as innocently as possible. I threw the papers at him so he could see what I was talking about. He gathered them up and began reading them, and then his eyes went big in fright. "Bella, let me explain..."

"What could you possibly explain, Jacob?" I yelled. "You're the reason Carlisle was forced to leave! You're the reason we had to break up! All this time...all this time I TRUSTED you and you...you're the reason!"

"Look, you have to believe that I did this out of love..."

"LOVE?" I asked in disbelief. "You don't love me, Jake! If you did...if you really loved me you would have let me be fucking happy with Carlisle! You would have graciously backed away and let me be with him!"

"It was killing me knowing you were with him!"

"But I was happy with him, Jake." I told him. "I was happy and you ruined that. What...what do you think love is?"

"When you feel you can't live without someone." He shrugged. "Like you'd do anything for them..."

"Well then you don't love me," I spat. "If you did you would have just let me be because...because that's what I wanted. You knew I loved Carlisle. You knew because I told you, I just left out his name."

"Bella,"

"I trusted you, Jake." I cried. "I TRUSTED YOU!"

"Hey, what's going on?" I heard Paul asked as he opened the door. I turned to see the four of them standing at the doorway, looking annoyed and almost scared.

"You!" I yelled, running to them. "Did you know?"

"Know what?" Quill asked, rubbing his eyes. He wasn't taking me seriously and without thinking, I slapped him.

"DID YOU KNOW?" I demanded to know. "THAT I WAS DATING A PROFESSOR AND THAT JAKE WAS THE REASON WE BROKE UP? DID. YOU KNOW?"

"Chill out, Bella." Seth sighed.

"Shut up, Seth." I barked. "I know you guys were lying to me this whole time just like Jake was. You five tell each other EVERYTHING! I should have known you weren't working alone."

"Bella, please." Jake pleaded as he came up from behind me and tried putting his arms on my shoulders. I pushed him away, my anger pulsating through my body.

"A friend with the photoshop program?" I asked Embry since he was going to school for photography and business. "How could you help him?"

"I didn't know what he was using it for, Bella." He sighed. "Honestly."

"I...I'm finding it very hard to believe anything either of you say right now." I cried as tears began filling in my eyes. "I can't believe I trusted you...all of you!"

"Guys, leave." Jake told them as he closed the door on them. "Look, I know what I did was wrong."

"Damn right it was."

"But, who was there for you when you were raped?" He asked making me flinch. "He was no where in sight..."

"You made sure of that!" I yelled. "If you hadn't gotten him kicked out with your edited pictures, no one would have known about our relationship. Professor Michaelson wouldn't have thought I liked having sex with older guys and he wouldn't have raped me, Jake!"

"He might have..."

"Yeah, he might have." I agreed. "But he probably wouldn't have. You're just as resposible for what he did to me as he is."

"Don't you dare compare me to a rapist!"

"I'm not, but..." I cried as I sat on the bed, feeling defeated. "I hate you, Jacob Black!"

"Don't say that," He pleaded as I stood up and pulled my shoes on."

"I hate you, Jake!" I yelled. "I hate what you did! Who you conspired with! I hate that I trusted you! I hate that I fell..." I yelled and I couldn't finish the sentence. "I hate that I fell in love with you."

"You..."

"Not anymore." I sneered as I grabbed my purse and headed towards the door and couldn't even look at the four sitting on Seth's pull out couch.

"Bella! Where are you going?"

"As far away from you as I can get!"

"It's the middle of the night, it isn't safe."

"I'd rather go to the most dangerous parts of the city and get mugged and beaten than stay within one hundred miles of you, Jake." I sighed as I opened the door. I hesitated before leaving and finally turned to him. "You can go to hell, by the way." I yelled before slamming the door behind me. I began to cry uncontrolably. I ran down the stairs and it wasn't until I was in the parking lot that I realized Jake had picked me up from class that day.

I sat down on the front steps and dug my phone out of my pocket and looked through my contacts. I felt like I couldn't trust anyone at the moment. I finally pressed the number of the only person I truly trusted and put my phone up to my ear.

"Hello?" A groggy voice asked on the other line.

"Jasper?" I asked since I'd called Alice. "Where's Alice?"

"In the bathroom," He sighed. "I think she may have food poisoning."

"Oh," I sighed. "Do you think you could come get me?"

"Yeah, where are you?" He asked immediately. I then realized I could trust Jasper just as much as I could trust Alice.

"Jake's." I sighed. "I don't wanna talk about it. How fast can you be here?"

"Ten minutes?" He asked.

"Okay," I sighed as I hung up the phone. I hadn't even heard the door to the building open and footsteps coming closer to me.

"I really am sorry, Bella." Jake whispered as he sat down next to me. I just scooted further away from him, not wanting to be near him at all. "You have to know I never wanted to hurt you. Those papers shouldn't have been laying out."

"So, you're just sorry you got caught?" I snapped. "Jake, you can't say anything to make this better. We're over and I want absolutely nothing to do with you. Ever again."

"But..."

"You don't get this, do you?" I asked. "You've broken our trust...you cost a man his job and wrecked my relationship with him. Jake, don't you get it...you were my rebound and I've been planning to end it with you if he came back to me. Hell, I probably would have ended it when I found someone better even if Carlisle didn't come back to me at graduation. And the only reason I chose to start dating you was because you showed up at the hospital. If I hadn't been so scared and vulnerable, we wouldn't have even began dating."

"Bella,"

"Back off, Jake." I snapped. "I don't want you!" He nodded his head sadly and stood up just as I saw Jasper's truck pulling into the lot. I jumped into the truck and made him speed away as he could.

"You wanna talk about it?" Jasper asked as we neared the apartment. I kept my eyes on the scenery moving by as I looked out the window and shook my head. I just wanted to go home and crawl into bed and try forgetting this happened.

Because, whether I wanted to admit it or not, I loved Jake. I really did.I had grown to really care about him and then the last few weeks, caring turned into love. I couldn't help myself. I lied when I told him I'd probably break up with him if Carlisle didn't show, because, in reality...I would have stayed with him. For as long as he wanted me. I even pictured us buying an apartment together after graduation if Carlisle didn't show.

I wanted this all to be a dream. I didn't want to let him go again. He was my best friend, even before this year we were always close. He was sweet, a good listener, a good kisser, smart. Everything I wanted, he was. Everything he was...he was perfect. He helped me see the light and helped me have fun after Carlisle left. And, if I were being honest, if it weren't for him, I'd be a huge mess.

It had only been a few minutes and I missed him.

But, he'd shattered my trust. He was everything I hated. He was the person who helped split Carlisle and up. And, I wasn't blaming him in particular, but I was write when I said I wouldn't have been raped if he hadn't gotten rid of Carlisle.

Jasper pulled up in front of my building, but I didn't move. I didn't want to go inside, afraid if I went in...I'd never come out. He came around his truck and opened the door for me, offering his hand for me to take. I took one look at his extended hand and then his face and burst into tears. Jasper was so perfect and I was almost angry at him for being the most generous guy I'd ever met.

He slowly pulled me out of the truck and swung his arms under my knees and back to carry me inside. Somehow, he was able to swipe his card and unlock the door to get us inside the apartment. He carried me to my bedroom and gently laid me down on my bed.

"What happened?" Alice asked groggily as she came into my room. "Are you sick?" She asked and I just shook my head as I pulled my blanket over my head. I felt Jasper kiss the top of my head before leaving my room.

"I think her and Jake had a big fight and broke up." I heard Jasper explain. "She hasn't spoken a word to me since I picked her up."

"Why didn't she call me?"

"She did." He said. "But, you were in the bathroom and I wasn't going to have you go get her when you felt so sick."

"So, she didn't say...anything?"

"Not a word." He sighed as I heard their footsteps heading towards her bedroom.

"Bella?" Alice's voice asked outside my door as she knocked the next morning. "Bella, please talk to me."

I couldn't talk. I knew she'd never say it, but she told me so. She told me it was a bad idea to get involved with Jake and she was very, very right. Finally, she just opened my door and gently closed it behind her. She came up and sat on the edge of my bed and yanked my blanket off my head.

"Hey, you're scarring me." She told me. "I haven't seen you like this since Carlisle left."

"Jake...he helped Maddie break Carlisle up." I cried. "He photoshopped the photos. He was in cahoots with her this whole time. He's the reason Carlisle's gone."

"Oh, Bella." She sighed as she laid down with me. I cried on her shoulder for hours. I wasn't just crying because Jake had broken my heart and trust, but because for the first time since Carlisle left I felt...alone. Not in the sense I had no one. But, in the sense no one was really there for me. Like I couldn't actually trust anyone. Jasper and Alice were family to me, they didn't count.

"I...I trusted him, Alice." I cried. "I trusted him."

"I know, Bella." She sighed as she held me. For the first time since meeting, Alice was stumped and had no idea what to say to me. I didn't know what I wanted to her say. "But, now you can move on. Away from NYU."

"I'm never going to be able to trust anyone again."

"Yes you will." She sighed. "Not all guys are going to do this to you."

"No, but guys will lie." I told her. "They'll lie and cheat to get what they want. That's true in every guy." I cried. "All of them but...Carlisle."

"Then have hope he'll come back."

"I do have hope." I told her honestly. "But, it was nice having Jake there."

"To fall back on?"

"Kind of." I sighed. "I know it was wrong, but...I really did love Jake, Alice." I told her. "Just not as much as I loved Carlisle."

"I get it."

"But, who knows," I cried. "Maybe in time...I could have loved Jake as much as I love Carlisle." I said. "But, now I'll never have a chance to know...because I can never forgive him."

"Never?"

"Never."

"Well, another month and you'l be away from NYU and able to move on." She whispered. "Maybe even move on from Carlisle."

"Yeah, maybe." I sighed in agreement. If Carlisle didn't come back, I would have to move on. Maybe I'd move to Washington or Chicago and find a job there. Maybe I'd become a traveling journalist or an author in LA. There were a lot of possibilities if Calrisle didn't come back. And if he did...maybe I'd be the wife who wrote from home to take care of her family.

The possibilities were endless.

And then, I saw the silver lining.

After two weeks of moping and sobbing, I was done being hurt. I was tired of being the girl who broke down every time she lost a guy. I was stronger than that. So, Saturday morning I got up and cooked Alice and Jasper breakfast, trying to pay them back for taking care of me after Jake and I broke up.

Thankfully, Jake got the hint and didn't try to talk to me very much. I was even lucky enough that we didn't get paired together for a project in our lit class. It was hard though. I could always feel his eyes on me, but I couldn't turn to face him. I couldn't look at him without feeling betrayed or angry. I wanted to burst into tears when I walked into the same room as him, looking at him would kill me.

"What are you doing?" Jasper asked as he came out of their bedroom when I was putting the pancakes on the table for them.

"Making you two breakfast." I smiled as I handed him a glass of orange juice.

"You didn't have to do this, Bells."

"I wanted to." I shrugged. " You guys did so much for me these past few weeks, I wanted to repay the favor."

"You never have to repay us anything, Bella." Alice told me as she came out of the bathroom. "We're here unconditionally."

"I know, but I want to show you how much I appreciate that."

"And...pancakes are the best way to do that?" Jasper laughed as he took a big, heaping bite.

"Well, they say the way to a mans heart is through his stomach." I laughed. "And I thought...the two of us could go out on a girls night tonight." I said to Alice.

"Tonight?"

"Or sometime this week." I shrugged. "It doesn't matter to me."

"Tonight would be perfect." She smiled. "Jazz and I found this really cool bar right down the street. It's a classy bar, you'll like it."

"Classy?" I laughed.

"Yeah, it isn't like a sports bar crawling with college kids looking to get waisted." She told me. "Trust me, you'll love it."

"I'm sure I will." I told her. "But, if we're going to get drunk tonight, I should probably go do some school work now so we can nurse our hangovers in the morning."

"Good idea."

"I'll be at the library!" I called as I grabbed my school bag and headed out the door. When I got outside, I felt better. The air was warming quickly, the trees were in full blossom, and the grass was beautifully green. Spring was by far my favorite season. I spotted Jacob and Seth by a coffee cart by the library entrance I ran inside as Seth looked my way, but I was pretty sure he'd seen met.

After three hours in the library, my brain was complete mush and I decided it was time to call a quits. I gathered my things and headed outside, where Jake was sitting on the steps. I contemplated going inside and going out the back way, but I'd just have to come back around this way to get to my apartment, so it was pointless. I took a deep breath, said a prayer he wouldn't notice me, and began my way down the steps.

"Bella," He called softly as I walked in front of him.

"Damn," I whispered and stopped walking, not understanding why I wasn't still walking.

"Can...can we talk?" He asked and I turned to see two coffee cups in his hands. I looked up at his face and almost didn't recognize him. He wasn't shaved, his hair was shaggier and he just looked...sad. I hadn't really looked at him since breaking up and he looked worse than I did.

"No, Jacob." I sighed. I didn't wanna fight with him. Not here.

"Please,"

"Jake, what's done is done." I sighed. "Let it go and move on."

"I don't wanna move on." He admitted. "You're the love of my life."

"No I'm not." I argued. "If I was, you wouldn't have gone behind my back like you did, Jake."

"It was a mistake out of weakness." He told me. "Professor Morris was so convincing."

"She's manipulative, Jake." I explained. "She didn't wand you to get the girl, she wanted me gone so she could have Carlisle. She didn't care about you or us."

"I figured."

"Let me go, Jake." I sighed. "The quicker you do...the better you'll be."

"I...I don't know what to do without you, Bella." He cried. "I regret what I did...but I miss you and want a second chance."

"I can't trust you, Jacob!" I told him. "And I can't be with someone I can't trust."

"What if I earn my trust back."

"You can't, Jacob." I sighed as I turned around.

"Bella, please."

"Jacob," I sighed as I walked over to him and placed my hand on his cheek, wiping away the tears that were falling. "Please, do what's best for both of us and let me go. Go home and shave, get a hair cut and go out. Go to a party and meet someone else."

"I don't want anyone else."

"Well, you've got things to figure out then." I sighed. "But, I can't be with you, Jake. It hurts too much."

"But,"

"I'm sorry." I said, trying to hold back my tears. "This is over. For good." I told him, turning around and walking away. I almost made it to my building before bursting into tears and I realized I was right back where I started two weeks ago.

Sad and alone.

Another month passed and finals were over. Alice and I began packing up the apartment while her and Jasper planned a wedding. This was it.

"You ready to go?" Alice asked from the doorway to my room. I looked around and saw all the boxes packed and my walls bare and nodded. This was it. This was graduation day.

"As ready as I ever will be." I smiled. She took my hand and we walked to the grass where white chairs were set up, facing a stage. I smiled knowing my parents would be here soon.

I also grew hopeful. It was finally the day Carlisle and I could see each other without Dean Gregory getting in the way and kicking me out. This was the day I would see Edward for the first time in months and hug him til he was blue in the face. This was the day for a lot of things.

If he showed up.