Chapter Twelve: Hear You Breathing

Carlisle's POV

"Well Bella," I sighed as I pulled into the driveway. "Welcome home."

"It's perfect." She smiled. We got out of the car and began unpacking as much as we could. A lot of her things were being Fed Exed here, but she still managed to cram a whole lot of her stuff in my trunk. Edward was kind enough to help us instead of rushing back to Nate's like he planned. After everything was back in my room, we headed out for dinner since the drive took a lot longer than expected.

It was amazing having her back in my life. I knew that life would be like it should be again, but I never expected this. I never expected it to be better than when I left. But, it was. Edward and Bella seemed to be even closer than before and I could see she was treating him like she would her own child. Like he was her own child. I couldn't help but smile when I thought of that legally coming true if she adopted him when we got married.

After dinner, we headed back home where Bella and I began the process of getting her things unpacked. It was mostly clothes, but she's accumulated even more stuff in the seven months we were apart.

"I just don't know how you own so much...stuff." I laughed as I cleared out another drawer for her.

"Alice just gave me things she never wore anymore." She shrugged. "I was her personal Good Will."

"I didn't even think she owned this much."

"Oh, you should have seen what she had stashed at Jasper's." She told me. "The poor guy barely had enough room for his books let alone his personal belongings."

"Wasn't he usually at your place?"

"Yeah," She giggled as she began throwing me things to fold up and put away. We'd almost completely gotten everything unpacked and then Edward came in, complaining he was hungry again. I rolled my eyes as Bella gave into going to get ice creme with him. If she was like this now, I couldn't even imagine what she'd be like in a few years.

She coddled him more than Esme did.

"So, how do you like it so far?" I asked as we crawled into bed that night.

"It's a lot quieter than campus." She laughed. "But noisier than Forks...which I like."

"Really? You like the noise because that was one of the only thing I liked about getting out of New York."

"I like quiet, but Forks was always so quiet." She sighed. "There was nothing ever going on after nine at night."

"So now I truly understand why you came to NYU." I laughed as I pulled her closer to me. Just holding her, and knowing that she was mine now and nothing could get in the way of that made me happy enough to last me a life time. We fell asleep in each other's arms that night and I woke up the same way I fell asleep. With a smile on my face.

"So, when do you start your new job?" I asked as we got Edward ready for school. With Pitt being out the same week as NYU, the two of were free to be together until she started. I was being selfish, but I prayed that wouldn't begin until I went back to work.

"I'm not sure, I have to get into contact with them." She shrugged as she pulled Edward's toast out of the toaster. He came out and looked happier than ever while he spoke to her. I would never get over how much they loved each other.

Especially how much Bella loved him. Most girls would flee at the thought of dating a single dad, but Bella embraced it. She loved Edward like her own and treated him better than I did at times. I knew she was never a girl who'd give up her career to become a stay at home mom, but I knew how much she wanted one of her own. I didn't care how old I was, if she wanted one, I'd give her one. End of story.

"Alright, lets go get your things together." I sighed since neither of them were paying attention to the clock. I got Edward on the bus, leaving Bella and I alone for the next six hours.

"So, what could we possibly do for six hours?" She asked as she pulled me upstairs.

"I have no idea." I whispered in her ear. I gently kissed her jaw and made my way down to her neck. She moaned softly as I squeezed her butt as we walked into my bedroom. We fell onto the bed and she desperately pulled me on top of her. She began pawing at my shirt, trying so hard to get me out of the t-shirt I was wearing.

I finally pulled it over my head as she discarded her own shirt. Soon, we were a hot, sweaty, tangled mess, panting and moaning in pleasure. It'd been so long since we were together that it didn't take long, either of the four times that day. Our relationship was so much more than sex, but I was so glad I had her again.

"So, what did you guys do all day?" Edward asked as he ate his after school snack. Bella and I just looked at each other and laughed.

"Just hung out." She told him, trying to keep a straight face. "Nothing special."

"Well, Nate's mom invited me to go out to dinner with them tonight for his sister's birthday so you guys can just 'hang out' again tonight if I can go." He told us with a smug look on his face. Damn kid was smart.

"Yes you can go." I told him without trying to turn bright red. I dropped him off while Bella made dinner for us and by the time I got back, everything was on the table. We ate with the only light being the low, flickering candles. We took time to feed each other and look into each other's eyes. We were trying to make up seven months worth of time, and I was sure it could never be done.

Once the kitchen was cleaned up, the grabbed my hand and pulled me upstairs. She gently closed the bedroom door as I lit the candles I kept in my bathroom. I turned to her and was breathless. She was even prettier than when I left and I knew then that I really was the luckiest guy in the world.

She slowly walked over to me without meeting my gaze. She stopped in front of me and I placed my hands gently on her waist, wanting to be closer to her. She finally looked up and my eyes met hers and I gave her a soft smile.

"Carlisle?" She whispered, almost so low that I couldn't here her. "I love you."

"I love you." I whispered as I bent down and brushed my lips against hers. My grip tightened on her waist and she brought her arms up around my neck. I gently lowered her down onto the bed and rolled on top of her. She tugged at my t-shirt and I sat up with her so she could pull it over my head.

She threw it down onto the floor and pulled me back down on top of her. I fumbled with the hem of her shirt and was actually able to get it over her head, and I threw it onto the floor with mine. I gently ran my hand over her stomach and stopped when I saw the black spot on her hip.

"What's this?" I asked, feeling stupid. We'd been in bed together numerous times since getting back together and I was just now noticing this.

"A tattoo." She smiled. I looked at it closely and I saw that it was an anchor that grew into an infinity symbol.

"I refuse to sink." I read aloud and looked at her as I gently ran my fingers over it. "I love it."

"Really?" She asked, sounding relieved.

"Yes," I sighed as I leaned back down and crashed my lips back into hers. "It's...really...sexy." I told her between kisses. She rolled us over so she was on top and I smiled up at her. There weren't many times she was on top so this was always a treat. I reached up and unhooked her bra and she slid it off her shoulders as she continued to rock against me.

That night we really connected for the first time since being back together. There was something about having her back in my bed that made everything okay again. Suddenly, the past few months didn't matter anymore and the only people I loved most in this world were with me. I wasn't going to let her go ever again.

Unfortunately, Bella and I couldn't stay in bed all night since I had to pick Edward up from Nate's house when he called. I reluctantly got out of bed and threw some sweats on before grabbing my keys to get into the car. Edward was in an even better mood getting into the car and I was glad he had Nate and his family to keep him company.

When we got back home, Edward went straight up to the bathroom to shower and I went back to Bella. She was rubbing her wet hair with a towel and I smiled when I saw the familiar PJ's she always wore in the summer. I went over and wrapped my hands around her waist and she cooed as she leaned back into my chest.

"Carlisle?" She asked after I let go. "A Mrs. Masen called you while you were getting Edward." She sighed as she handed me my phone. My heart dropped and I only prayed she had good news.

"Oh," I whispered, trying not to look panicked.

"Who's Mrs. Masen?" She asked.

"Lizzie's mom." I sighed as I turned to walk outside of the room. I pressed her name again and braced myself for the worst. When she answered, I already knew the answer. "No." I cried.

"I'm so sorry, Carlisle." She cried and I could tell she was trying to be strong. "They found her body in an alley way a few miles away from the bar she met this guy at." She explained. "She was underneath weeks worth of garbage."

"He just threw her in the trash?" I asked and I could feel my anger rising. Lizzie deserved better than that. Better than me even, but she didn't deserve to be thrown in a dumpster. "Oh god! This is...this is my fault!"

"No, Carlisle." She cried. "We're going to hold a viewing on Thursday for her. I hope you will be there." She told me before hanging up.

"Dad?" I heard Edward ask. I wiped my face off and turned to face him. How was I supposed to tell him this? He was really starting to like Lizzie and I hadn't even told him she was missing yet. This was going to break his heart. "What's wrong?"

"Lizzie died, Edward." I whispered and his face went white. I could see the tears forming in his eyes and he looked devestated. "I'm sorry."

"How?" He asked.

"Someone..." I contemplated lying to him, but he deserved to know the truth. No matter how hurtful. "Someone killed her, Edward."

"Why...why would someone do that?"

"People are cruel and there is no answer." I explained. "This person got what he wanted from her and...he killed her when she had no use for him anymore." He burst into tears and came running into my arms. I had no way of really answering his question though, because I didn't even understand it myself.

I looked up and saw Bella standing at our doorway with tears in her eyes. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out Lizzie and I had dated, I just wished I would have given her a warning before I dumped all of this on Edward. She gave me a sad smile before going back into our room, giving Edward and me our space.

I let Edward stay home the next day. He just needed a day to process and calm down and I was willing to give him that. He just looked so miserable as he picked at his cereal that morning. He'd lost a friend and I couldn't help but feel resposible for this. If I had been more careful, or not even gotten involved in the first place, Lizzie wouldn't be dead.

I stepped outside onto the back porch and saw the small garden Lizzie planted starting to blossom. It was lively and colorful...just like she was. I was afraid with her gone, the flowers would begin to wilt and die and I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to handle that. I kept telling myself all I had to do was make sure I watered the plants, but a garden was so much more than keeping the soil moist.

I felt a hand gently squeeze my shoulder and turned to see Bella standing there with a mug in her hand. She handed it to me as she sat down in the chair next to me and just sat in silence with me. I took a sip of the drink and smiled when I tasted Pomegranate-Cranberry Crush tea in the mug and took in the warm liquid as it went down my throat.

"I'm really sorry about your...friend." She smiled as she began slowly stroking my arm.

"Me too." I sighed. "She was so young, Bella. She had so much potential."

"I'm sure she did." She nodded. "But, Carlisle?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't want you blaming yourself for what happened." She whispered. "This isn't your fault and I don't want you telling yourself it is. Bad things happen to good people and sometimes, there isn't an explanation."

"She told me she loved me," I told her. "And I told her I loved her too...but I said Bella instead of Lizzie." I sighed. "That was the last night I saw her."

"It still isn't your fault, Carlisle."

"But, what if I had said Lizzie?" I asked. "Would she have gone to that dumpy bar and hooked up with some random guy? No, she would have gone home and went to sleep. She would have been at work, teaching her Freshman Intro class and...she'd be alive right now."

"You don't know that for sure. No one does." She sighed. "I mean, if you were still together in May, would you have broken up with her for me?"

"Yes," I told her honestly. "You're it Bella, but Lizzie didn't deserve what she got."

"No, she didn't." She agreed. "Nice girls don't deserved to be murdered and thrown away." She said. "But, you don't deserve the guilt of her murder. Whoever did this should be feeling guilty, not you."

"But..."

"Even if you didn't say my name, she still might have gone to that dumpy bar and hooked up with some random guy." She sighed. "Maybe she wouldn't have been killed, maybe she was beaten so badly she was paralized or she was raped and he got her pregnant. Maybe, she was so scared she drove herself off of a bridge." She said. "Carlisle, there wasn't anything you could have done."

"I should have saved her." I cried as I brought my hands to my face. "Just like I should have saved you from that professor."

"Hey, I'm okay." She told me as she pulled my hands away from my face and bent down in front of me. I looked up and through blurry vision, I saw her soft smile and her beautiful brown eyes looking back at me. "I'm alive and I'm okay. I'm...stronger because of it."

"I should have been there."

"Maybe," She nodded. "But you weren't and it happened and I don't want you feeling guilty about it."

"I can't help it." I sighed. "The love of my life is raped and a girl I really cared about is murdered in cold blood. How else am I supposed to feel?"

That Thursday, Edward and I put on our black suits and headed to the small funeral home her viewing was being held. Since it had been such a long time since the police found her, it was a closed casket and all we could do was look at her picture that was placed on top.

I could feel Edward tensing up as we walked into the room with her casket. It was the first time we'd been in a funeral home since Esme's death and I knew he was itching to get out of the place. And honestly, so was I.

I saw her mother standing near the casket as we walked in, her head bowed. I went over to her and gently touched her arm. She lifted her head and smiled at me before giving me a hug.

"I know you don't believe this right now, but you were the best thing to ever happen to my Lizzie." She whispered. "I know how much you two cared for the other, and she was happy with you, Carlisle. Don't ever think she didn't love you.."

"I know she loved me." I smiled. "I loved her too. Very much."

"She knows." She went over to someone else who just walked inside and Edward grabbed my hand, squeezing it tightly. I bowed my head and said a prayer for her and then looked up and heard someone singing. I looked down and saw that it was Edward's lips that were moving and I listened closer.

"I see trees of green... red roses too . I see em bloom... for me and for you . And I think to myself... what a wonderful world." He sang softly before raising his head. "She's here, Dad. She isn't going anywhere."

"You really think so?"

"Yeah, just like mom is." He smiled up at me. "Plus, now mom might have someone her age to talk to...and Lizzie can update her on what's been going on."

"Mom already knows."

"Yeah, but Lizzie has the inside scoop." He laughed.

"You are such a dork." I laughed as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders.