Chapter Thirteen: Yesterday When You Were Young

Bella's POV

Just as I was pulling the cookies out of the over, the garage door went up. I braced myself for whatever mood they were going to be in and grabbed a spatula to remove the cookies from the tray and put them on the cooling wrack. I looked up as they walked into the kitchen and although they looked upset, they looked like they were going to get through this.

"How was it?" I asked as I handed Edward a cookie. I saw him nibbling at it, but he wasn't taking a bite. He never ate when he was upset, even if he was just upset over a bad grade.

"It was sad," Carlisle sighed as he sat down next to Edward. "But, in a way, refreshing. I mean, she'd been missing for so long it was good to say goodbye."

"And, how're you doing?" I asked, spacifically looking at Edward. I didn't want him shutting down over this.

"I'm okay." He shrugged. "I'm sad, but I'll bounce back. I think I'm gonna go play some."

"You don't want a sandwich or something?" Carlisle asked. "You haven't eaten since breakfast."

"I'm not hungry." He said as he raced upstairs. I waited until I heard his door shut and the piano being played to sit down on Carlisle's lap. He buried his face in my chest and I could feel him shaking as I gripped him tighter. I knew how much he bottled things up to be strong for Edward and it wasn't good for him.

I understood he was trying to be a good father and help his son get through this, but he always kept things in. Then, he ended up exploding. I held him tightly until he lifted his head and grabbed a napkin. He looked up at me and gave me a sad smile before I slid off his lap so he could stand up.

He went upstairs to change and I went into the living room to watch some TV. Just as I sat down on the couch, my phone began ringing. I pulled it out of my pocket and jumped for joy when I saw the caller ID.

"Hey!" I squealed into the phone.

"I know it's only been a few days, but it feels like an eternity!" Alice yelled into the phone. "So, how have things been now that you're reunited?"

"They were good until Carlisle got a call the other night saying his ex girlfriend was found dead in a dumpster." I sighed.

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah, the girl Carlisle had been seeing while we apart...she was murdered about a month ago." I explained. "The police found her a few days ago and they boys just got back from her funeral."

"Oh, wow." She sighed. "What a way to restart a relationship."

"Right?" I asked. "The thing that's really getting to me is Carlisle is blaming this on himself. He's saying it's his fault because she went missing two weeks after he said I love you...Bella."

"He said the wrong name?" She asked. "Ouch."

"Yeah, so he thinks she was in that bar because he drove her to it." I sighed. "But, enough about me. How're you? I mean, how's Texas?"

"Hot." She laughed. "But, it's so amazing. His house is amazing and it has this beautiful backyard and...a white picket fence."

"See, that's the selling point, isn't it?"

"You know it." She laughed. "And his mother is so into the planning and we went out to a bridal store so I could get an idea, and I think I decided on Salmon Pink for the color of the wedding because Jasper told me he refused to wear...pink pink."

"Sounds reasonable."

"And, I think we're going to have the wedding in his backyard." She gushed. "His dad said he'd fix it all up since he's a landscaper and he told me he'd give me whatever I wanted for it."

"Alice, you're going to have a heart attack."

"I'm sorry, I'm just...so excited!" She squealed. "I mean, we got engaged right at the end of the year, we haven't had real time to do anything to start planning. And, now that we're planning it's getting more real that we're getting married and we'll be spending the rest of our lives together."

"Sounds amazing Alice." I sighed as I turned to see Carlisle standing in the doorway in his sweats. "But, I gotta go. I'll talk to you soon?"

"Yes, of course!" She gushed. "Bye, Bells."

"See ya." I sighed as I hit the END button. I stood up and walked over to him. He pulled me close to him and just held me for a long time. "What's up?" I asked as I looked up at him.

"You wanna go for a ride?" He asked after he kissed my forehead. I agreed and we headed out. We drove for a few minutes until we reached a point where I could see the entire city. I smiled when he stopped the car on the side of the road, close to a platform. We were on top of Mt. Washington, the best look over the city.

He came around and opened my door for me, and grabbed my hand, helping me out of the car. I looked over at the sun setting behind the buildings, and down to the point where the fountain was gushing water. New York was beautiful, but I never really realized how pretty Pittsburgh was.

"Wow," I sighed. "Pictures do not do this city justice."

"No, they don't." He agreed as he pulled me to the ledge of the platform. I looked over at him, and I saw a tear streaming down his cheek. I reached up and gently brushed it away and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "This was the last place I saw her."

"Lizzie?" I asked and he nodded. It was a beautiful sentiment, but I didn't understand why he was taking me to a place he and his dead ex-girlfriend shared while we were apart.

"And, I guess it's weird that I brought you here," He sighed. "But, I didn't wanna be alone. And I needed to come here for reasons...I don't even understand."

We stood there for a long time until a breeze began picking up and I began to shiver. Once he was done taking it all in, he got back into the car without a word and we drove home. Edward was already already fed and in the shower by the time we got home and Carlisle went upstairs to get the work he'd been avoiding done.

After Edward was asleep, I went into our room where he'd fallen asleep with his reading glasses on and a book laying on his chest. I went over and gently removed the glasses and picked the book up before turning the light off. I got ready for bed and snuggled next to him before falling asleep.

The next day, everyone was in a better mood. Edward was able to eat most of his breakfast and Carlisle got out of bed without any problems. I was so glad they were handling this well. It sounded selfish, but I'd just been away from them for seven months.

I wanted my normal, happy guys.

"How'd you sleep?" I asked as Carlisle walked over to his dresser.

"Better than I had all week, that's for sure." He smiled, pulling a t-shirt out of his drawer. "Bella?"

"Yeah?" I asked as he grabbed my hips and pulled me into him. "What is it?"

"Thanks for being so understanding." He smiled as he gently brushed his lips against mine. I wrapped my arms around his next and just looked into his beautiful, blue eyes. "And for being so helpful."

"I just want you to be happy, Carlisle." I whispered. "I hate seeing you so upset."

"I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here with me." He admitted as he pressed his forehead against mine. "I love you, Bella."

"I love you too, Carlisle." I whispered as I lifted my head and brought my lips to his. Before we could let anything go further, Edward poked his head through the door.

"Dad, I need lunch money." He told us and Carlisle let go of me, but not without a sigh. While Carlisle was digging around for his wallet, I jumped in the shower and just thanked God Carlisle was back in my life. When I got out of the shower, Carlisle was sitting at the kitchen counter, his glasses on while he read the paper.

I went up behind him and wrapped my arms around his neck and bent down the kiss the nape of his neck, and I saw the goosebumps form on his skin once I removed my lips. I brought my hands back and began to gently rub his shoulders and pressed my lips back to his neck.

"If you keep doing that, we're never to get anything done." He moaned as I gently bit down on his skin. "Like ever."

"Who said I wanted to get things done?" I whispered in his ears. He turned around and crashed his lips to mine and stood up, wrapping his hands around my waist. In one, swift motion, he'd turned us both around and placed me on the counter top.

I brought my legs up and wrapped them around his waist. He began playing with my t-shirt, but I pushed him away.

"Not...here." I gasped in between breaths. It'd always been a fantasy to have hot, morning kitchen sex. But, the kitchen was a shared place...with his son. Having sex on the island would be wrong and I'd never be able to look at it the same way again. Carlisle, understanding me, picked me up and carried me into the next room.

I looked around and assumed it was his home office and had to admit. It brought back some good memories. I knew know that he was at another school, and I was out of school, we wouldn't have to sneak around and fool around in his office anymore. Which, honestly was disappointing.

"I like what you've done with the place." I whispered as he set me down onto my feet. He went over to his desk and removed the clutter for me and walked back over, grabbing my hands and pulling me over to the desk.

"Is this familiar to you or what?" He asked as he gently pushed me down onto the wooden desk. I smiled and nodded my head as I pulled his shirt over his head, leaving him exposed. I ran my hands over his stomach and just took everything in. Jake wasn't flabby or anything, but there was something special about Carlisle. Something others didn't have.

He quickly removed my top and ran his fingers over my tattoo and when I looked up, he was smiling.

"See something you like?" I asked.

"Well, you're topless for one." He smiled. "And, this gets sexier and sexier every time I see it."

"Good to know," I gasped as he crashed his lips back onto mine.

We spent a glorious morning in his office, jumping from the desk, to his desk chair, to the floor. I felt like we were a couple of horny teenagers who couldn't get enough of each other and, we really were. Other than the teenager part. Seven months was a lot longer than either of us thought it would be, and we had to make up for lost time.

"Edward's going to be home soon." He sighed as we laid on the floor after another round. He took a long time to sit up and I just stayed down, watching him as he walked across the room to find his boxers. I sat up and watched as he pulled the up, covering himself up again. He looked over and laughed at me before walking to the other side of the room for his shorts.

"See something you like?" He asked, mocking me.

"You shirtless." I smiled, mocking him. I finally stood up and went over to the desk to grab my panties and bra and slipped back into them. When we were finally dressed, he pulled me into the kitchen and not a moment too soon. Edward came bustling through the door, asking for a snack.

"Yogurt or peanut butter crackers?" Carlisle asked as Edward sat down at the counter.

"Crackers please." He sighed as he looked at me, asking me for a sweet treat. Carlisle wasn't against sweets, but he liked Edward to eat as healthy as possible, especially after school. I gave him a sad smile as I shrugged and he turned back to face forward.

I helped Edward with his social studies homework as Carlisle headed to the gym, just like he'd been doing everyday since we got home. The three of us had fallen into some sort of routine and I was getting comfortable with them again. I wasn't sure what it would be like after seven months of not seeing each other, but it was like no time had been lost. Like nothing had changed.

Once Carlisle was home and showered, we sat down for dinner and it was just another reminder of why I loved these guys. We all clicked so well it was scary and sitting around the table, laughing again made me realize I never wanted to be without them again. I wanted to be Mrs. Carlisle Cullen.

"So, are you two ever going to get married?" Edward asked as I cleared the table.

"I sure hope so." Carlisle said as he reached and grabbed my hand, bringing it to his lips.

"When?" He asked.

"When the time is right." I answered.

"When will the time be right?"

"Edward, how old are you?" Carlisle asked, but I didn't miss the amusement on his face.

"Thirteen."

"Exactly, stop asking me these questions like a seven year old." He huffed as I put the plate of cookies on the table. "And, hopefully, the time will be right real soon."

After he'd eaten desert, Carlisle took him over to Nat's for a campout since it was Friday. I took the small window of time while he was gone to try and get more unpacking done. I picked up the box with my pictures and memorabilia from my time at NYU. As I sifted through it, I realized how much I missed campus. And Alice. And, New York in general.

But, only one picture brought tears to my eyes. It was a picture of Jake and I, sitting on the steps of the Empire State Building, smiling goofily and looking...happy. I loved Carlisle and I didn't want to go back to him, but I missed Jake. He'd been there when I needed someone and knowing how much he'd betrayed me still hurt.

I was so wrapped up in the picture, I hadn't heard Carlisle come home. I tried wiping the tears away when I felt his arms wrap around my waist, but he was smart and knew something was wrong.

"Bella, sweetie, what's wrong?" He asked as he sat down on the bed, pulling me into his lap.

"It was Jake." I sobbed, burying my head in his shoulder. He rubbed my back and just let me cry. "And Maddie."

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

"They're the ones who helped us get caught." I explained. "Jake had his friend photoshop pictures so it looked like it was us kissing and holding hands in secret. Maddie got the tapes and the security camera footage."

"Wait, Jake...your ex-bpyfriend helped...break us up?" He asked.

"Yep." I cried. "And...the sad thing is, I trusted him."

"He didn't give you a reason not to." He whispered, kissing my shoulder.

"I trusted him, Carlisle." I cried. "And I really cared about him and he was the one who got you fired form your job and forced you to move. And I jumped right into bed with him."

"Bella, we both did things while we were apart." He sighed. "I'm not angry."

"It just hurts." I told him. "He was there after the...rape...and I know you couldn't be there and I'm not blaming you but when I saw him there...I didn't feel alone anymore, and I felt safe. He was there at night to sit up with me when I was afraid to shut my eyes, and he held my hand while I got the tattoo.

"I really cared about him and I am so happy we're back together and you're in my life, but I do miss him, Carlisle." I cried. "I wouldn't want him back even if he was the last man on earth, but I miss what we were before everything happened. Before...secrets were discovered and trust was broken."

"I know what you mean." He sighed. "I don't blame myself for her death, but I'll never forgive myself for saying the last name that night. It's a girls worst nightmare and she knew how much I loved you. I broke her heart, Bella."

"We're pretty messes up, huh?" I asked after a long silence.

"Yeah," He agreed. "But, let's be messed up together."

"Sounds like a good plan." I smiled as I stood up. I went over to the dresser and grabbed a pair of PJ shorts and when I turned around, Carlisle had an eyebrow raised. "What?"

"You haven't worn PJ's to bed since we got back together...when Edward was here." He laughed as I he stood up and took the shorts out of my hands. "You think you're going to start wearing clothes to bed tonight?"

"Well, I was hoping to catch up on my reading." I smiled as he pulled me over to the bed.

"It might be hard to read with what I have planned for you tonight." He smiled as he crashed his lips on mine.

Everything was okay.

Carlisle and I were okay.