Thanks for all the lovely reviews, especially to the two guests who reviewed whom I can't PM. The reviews are what keep me writing!
Robert almost skips up to Cora's sitting room a few afternoons later. They both had a free few hours and he had planned a romantic picnic, down by the lake. As he rounds the corner to her sitting room he comes to an abrupt halt. The door is slightly ajar and he can hear voices from within, this makes him immediately curious as to who is talking to Cora. He knows Cora never talks to anyone in her sitting room aside from him, his mother and perhaps occasionally Mrs Hughes. She always emphasises how she likes to be left to work and despises interruptions. However, when he is the one in her sitting room they do less talking and more, well, kissing. The days when she asks him to join her there at a specific time are moments he doesn't miss, he cancels all other plans if he has to. He blushes at the thoughts that begin to enter his mind and quickly brushes them aside as to step closer to the door, determined to find out who Cora's companion is. He jumps startled when he does hear the voice within and recognises it to be Jane's. What is Jane doing in Cora's sitting room and what are they talking about?
"The rumour about me being his lordship's mistress was making life hard for me downstairs. I appreciate you stopping the rumour. I wasn't sure I deserved such kindness from you after everything." Robert winces at the words and debates entering the room, but if he's honest he's intrigued. Cora he knows didn't address the staff regarding the rumour to spare Jane's feeling but to return Robert's reputation to what the staff would expect it to be. He leans closer to the door and keeps listening. Cora, he notes, speaks with a slight incivility to her tone, but then who can blame her?
"Please, all that's the past. You've come back to help out and for that I am grateful. I couldn't have had such a rumour flying around anyway, despite how uncomfortable it was making everyone."
"That's all you people care about isn't it, reputation and stopping potential scandals, you couldn't care less about the lives of your servants. It doesn't matter anyway, I'm walking out with a gentleman in the village, your marriage is safe." Robert takes a deep breath waiting for Cora to hit the roof at such an impertinent remark, and as for the part about not caring about their servants had the woman ever worked in another home such as theirs? Obviously not. To his surprise, and slight vexation (he would have liked Cora to put Jane in her place) Cora doesn't raise her voice, but Robert knows from experience that Jane is probably terrified. Cora has a way of expressing her disgust with her facial expression. He chuckles to himself; it's usually him on the end of her temper, but not today.
"I don't believe my marriage was ever at risk, my husband' reputation perhaps, but never my marriage. He loves me, I love him. But lust is what he felt for you and lust is not love." Robert scrunched up his face as she screeches the last few words; his hand reaches for the door knob, the conversation is obviously over. But-
"How do you know it wasn't love?" His blood boils, how impertinent can the woman be? Abuse Cora to her face, twice. How did he ever find her attractive, and how on earth did he kiss her? Perhaps she's changed since the war, he questions himself. Or, his subconscious prompts, she wasn't really herself during the war. She had just lost her husband.
Robert had few regrets in his life, largely due to Cora. She seems, even to this day, to have an inbred ability to sense exactly when he is going to do something stupid and manage to stop him. But Jane, she was a regret, his biggest regret. Once he had admitted to Cora what had happened whilst she had been lying in bed close to her death and what the nightmare was about that kept him awake, or woke him screaming, in the months that followed her recovery, he felt lighter but the regret still hung over him, it always did. In some ways deep down he supposes he invited Jane back to see if he could refrain from her, to try and ease that regret, although of course he had always used the short of staff phrase to try and convince himself of the real reason.
The nightmare still plagued him, usually when he was away from Cora and struggling to sleep. The nightmare was always vivid and woke him in a cold sweat. The image of Cora dead in his nightmare was hard to take, but watching Jane waltzing around the house preparing for nothing less than her own wedding to him was usually what woke him. Very occasionally he would dream about the wedding itself, the scene was always shrouded in black and set in an empty church, none of his family willing to watch him throw his life away and so soon after Cora's death. Jane would always walk into the church wearing Cora's wedding dress and he would smile at her, mistaking her for Cora. It was only when he lifted the veil to kiss his now wife that he realised that it was in fact Jane he had just married. Memories of Cora comforting him after one of these longer and more heartbreaking versions of his nightmare comes to mind and it brings tears to his eyes. Cora has always been such a wonderful wife, she has always looked out for him and put his needs before her own.
He steps into the room, largely to support Cora; it's his turn to be there for her. Neither woman notices him though, Cora speaks in a whisper and Robert knows she's close to tears, he eyes glisten with water and her voice keeps catching.
"Because if he'd loved you he would have made you stay and you would have been his mistress. But, he let you go and came back to me. As I said, I appreciate you coming back to help, but please, I don't want to argue. His lordship made his choice."
"And he chose his wife. The woman he loves." He surprise himself, let alone the two women, as these words fall out of his mouth. He doesn't even look at Jane as he crosses the room and takes Cora in his arms, tears sliding down her cheeks. When he hears Jane exit the room a moment later he picks Cora up and carries her to a nearby chair, sitting her on his lap as he would a child. She has always taken care of him and now it was time to repay the favour. He has to be he strong one, the man in their marriage, for her.