Please let me know what you think of this chapter, it wasn't one of the original six but such wonderful, and curious reviews persuaded me to pen a chapter that showed Jane's motives. Please review, it keeps me writing!
Robert wanders aimlessly into his dressing room, his mind in a swirl of picnic baskets, Cora, chocolate covered strawberries, Cora, champagne, Cora, sandwiches, Cora. They had, in his opinion, the most wonderful afternoon down by the lake indulging in each other and Mrs Patmore's delightful picnic. Cora had laughed and teased for the first time all week. But her smile wasn't quite right, it didn't reach her eyes anymore, the sparkle in them was totally gone. He knows the source of the problem, Jane. It seemed that damned maid was always the source of his problems.
He had spoken to Mrs Hughes but she had explained that she couldn't do without Jane's valuable help and assistance at this difficult time. When she had asked if there were any particularly reasons as to why he thought Jane should be dismissed, he had given none. He didn't feel it was right to divulge to Mrs Hughes what had transpired between Jane and Cora. Firstly because it wasn't his story to tell, and secondly because it would mean telling her the whole story of his dreadful decision to kiss the maid in the first place and he couldn't being himself to do it. Cora was the only one who would ever understand his pain, besides he trusted and liked the housekeeper he'd rather she didn't take a dislike to him once she learned of his digression.
Now, as he sits waiting for Bates to come and dress him for bed, a high pitched scream from Cora's bedroom causes him to jump, he walks towards the door and reaches for the handle but he stops, a sense of déjà vu rolls over him, the situation is after all is so similar to earlier in the day when he had stood with his ear to the door eavesdropping on Cora's conversation. But unlike this morning, when it had been the voice of Jane that had fixed him to the spot this time it is Cora's words.
"He let Jane in, and it was only because I was keeping him out. He says it was love but what if she was right and it was love?" Could his dearest, darling Cora, even after their wonderful picnic really be contemplating the idea that his heart, because surely it was him she spoke of, was engaged elsewhere? "Because I do have some self worth, but above all I want his lordship to be happy. And if she makes him happier than I do," Robert's mind goes wild as Cora pauses in her speech, what is she going to do if his heart belong elsewhere? "I have to let him go."
"No, don't." Mrs Hughes' determined voice shocks him as do Cora's words, but not as much as the small, feminine hand that slides into his hair. He turns abruptly and he doesn't have time to say or do anything as her lips crush against his, her hands pushing him purposefully against the door leading to Cora's bedroom. He keeps his eyes open and his lips rigid as her tongue runs over them in a desperate attempt to make him react, but he just stares at her piercing blue eyes, so like Cora's but yet so not like Cora's. The blue is different, lighter, less beautiful, less exotic, less intoxicating. It's a blue that is beautiful but not enchanting enough to make him hot under the collar. Suddenly the assault on his lips seizes only to be replaced by an assault on his ears.
"You don't have to pretend anymore. I know in front of Lady Grantham in her sitting room earlier it was important to pretend it was her that you have chosen, and you did a very good job, but you don't have to pretend now. We're alone, nobody will find us. You can release your true feelings. I know you invited me back here because you realise you shouldn't have let me go." He stands frozen as he listens to Jane talk, his back still pressed against the door, how can she be so ridiculous, so stupid as to think he really does have some kind of desire for her? "It's not illegal to take a mistress you know. And you know as well as I do that we'd do well together. I love you Robert, I have since almost the moment I saw you, and when the letter arrived from Mrs Hughes inviting me back I knew you had been the one to suggest me to her. I knew that finally you shared my feelings. That finally, you had seen yourself for who you really are, and at the same time seen Lady Grantham for what she really is, a cold hearted woman who only pretends to love you to hold her position in society, she married you for it after all."
She reaches for him again at this point but his gentlemanly resolve cracks. Adrenaline mixed with some unknown emotion, perhaps revenge against the words she spoke to Cora earlier in the day consumes him, his hands reach for her on what appears to be their own accord and his body follows pushing her swiftly and firmly against the wall on the opposite side of the room. He had never been a man that agreed with violence, particularly not towards women but at the moment the feelings of contentment and delight flood over him at the sound of her back hitting the wall mixed with the pain induced cry that rips from her throat.
"I love my wife, I adore her, she's a wonderful woman, she's certainly not cold hearted, she married me for love, she defied her own parents wishes to marry me. If there's any woman in the world that's cold hearted and out to improve her position in the world, it's you. You think that by being my mistress you can exert some kind of power over me, you think you can bend me to your will. You were the biggest mistake I ever made. You see bad things in Lady Grantham because you want to see bad things but in actual fact compared to you she has done no wrong. You're the one that's bad. I warn you now, if you ever say anything to her, or about her, like you said to her this afternoon and now, I will have no scruples in blackening your name and thus crushing any chance of you working again, I will not hesitate in ruining your life. Do you understand? You leave in the morning." He releases her wrists and opens the door for her.
"I thought you were worth ruining my reputation for. I thought you were a kind, good man but obviously I was mistaken."
"I am a good man, but only to people who are good to me." She leaves then, much to his relieve. Finally, after years of regretting her, that pain lifts from his chest, she doesn't deserve his thoughts, even bad ones. He decides not to tell Cora of this encounter as she has had a week of roller coaster emotions anyway without him adding to her worries, besides it will all be sorted out in the morning. Thinking of Cora he realises he needs to find out how she is, a few moments previously she had sounded very distressed and all but ready to hand him over to that damn maid.
Bates arrives a moment or two later and he hands him the pre-prepared note to give to Mrs Hughes outlining that Jane is to leave first thing in the morning whatever the cost. He didn't add anything else, Mrs Hughes is sensible and had seen Cora's anxiety over Jane's reappearance for herself only minutes before he had penned the note.
He steps into Cora's bedroom and almost falls backwards into his dressing room. She's wearing what he likes to call "the gown." The gown is usually reserved for special occasions, so why on earth is she wearing it tonight he wonders. Surely not to keep me in need of her? She must know after all these years and today's picnic that I love her, only her? If that's the case, he decides, I have to show her once and for all what she means to me, the other little things have obviously not been enough.